Tumgik
deerlow · 10 months
Text
Preston: Behold, the fields in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
34 notes · View notes
deerlow · 2 years
Text
Nikki: The term girlfriend implies the existence of a girlfoe.
Nikki: This is a service I am willing to provide.
91 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Nikki: Do birds ever get sad that they don’t have arms?
Gwen: Do you get sad that you don’t have wings?
Nikki: Every day.
92 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Nurf: Why are you sad?
Max: I don’t know.
Nurf: So just for no reason?
Max: Oh no, there is a reason. I’m just not sure which one it is this time.
98 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Nerris: Y’know what? Y’all are right. Boys are dumb. Like, absolute idiots. I should know. Because I’m dating one of them.
Harrison: offended noises
106 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Nikki: Soup that tastes great is souper.
Max: May I interest you in a bowl of canned you not?
Neil: facepalms
97 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
David: How do you feel about kids?
Gwen: I mean, they’re okay? If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at it.
David: Why would you throw a rock at a child?!
Gwen: I just said I wouldn’t!
73 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Nurf: You need to stop mixing Shakespearean English with modern English. It’s confusing.
Preston: I swear to the heavens, if’t be true thee sayeth one more word, I’ll yeet thee across this cubiculo.
Nurf: What the fuck.
165 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Neil: You promised you wouldn’t get me bees again.
Nikki, from a distance: Just open it.
74 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Dolph: Can I be frank with you guys?
Nurf: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Space Kid: Can I still be Space Kid?
Nikki: Shh, let Frank speak.
101 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
[cult camp]
Daniel: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you!
[arrival of the torso takers]
Daniel: Fool me twice, I’m gonna kill you!
[camp loser says what?]
Daniel: Fool me thrice, I’m gonna- oh hey, Antartica!
110 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Max: Bitches be like “I’m baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect. Like, what the fuck do you know about being baby? You were forced to grow up from an early age.
Max: Anyways, I’m bitches.
376 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Gwen: Y’know, honestly at this point?
Gwen: No one gives me butterflies anymore.
Gwen: Everyone just gives me brain damage.
57 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Max: After realizing you’re terrible, most people are like “no thanks”, but a few people stick around.
Max: Because they’re dumb.
Max: And that’s what friends are.
84 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Max: Meeting new people sucks. I never know what to say.
David: Just be yourself! Say something nice!
Max: Which one? I can’t do both.
108 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
[max practiced self-care!]
[it didn’t work...]
59 notes · View notes
deerlow · 3 years
Text
Nerris: Do you think different laundry detergents have different tastes?
Max/Nikki: They do.
Gwen: Why did you say that with such certainty?
140 notes · View notes