de-cryptid

[de-cryptid]

I do feel as though I've adequately explained both why Simon simply isn't real objectively and why such a distinction is important, which is why I don't really post on this blog anymore.

That being said, if there are things that Simon continues to post that are insensitive or otherwise spreading misinformation, I'd appreciate those of you who keep up with him to send them my way for permanent documentation.

#Simon Alkenmayer

[de-cryptid]

this is a very telling statement:

Why anyone would find the scourge of their kind “comforting” is beyond me.

As someone purporting to study fiction, this is a naive and ridiculous thing to say. Monsters are a comfort, they are something to blame, something to reassure us of our inherent opposition to "evil" in whatever form we've decided it takes today, something to teach us to stick to the straight-and-narrow.

The asker on this post made a very important observation that Simon's author repeatedly brushes off, which is that most myths (if not all) are intentionally created with a set purpose and not based on a genuine sighting or encounter. Simon doesn't really seem to like discussing myths in this context because it doesn't work well with the roleplay of being "the thing all humanoid myths are based on", but if I were a creature that actually inspired those mythos, that information would be incredibly valuable to my understanding of both humanity and myself.

It's just not as fun and self-bolstering.

#simon alkenmayer

[de-cryptid]

Was reminded of Simon's existence today and found a post so baffling in its hilarity that I just have to share:

link here

The funniest one to me, is Bigfoot.

You ask why. I answer “because they aren’t real”. Well you might not be real, you say. I say “true, but I have a skeleton and a body, and if I die, people can find me.”

Think about it. Humans find all sorts of dead bodies in all sorts of states. I’ve heard countless cases of police finding a bone fragment, confirming it to be human, and then convicting someone based on a single fragment. Yet somehow, we cannot find one single Sasquatch.

We cannot find one single you despite your apparent pre-human history and continued existence.

You ask why. I answer “because they aren’t real”. Well you might not be real, you say. I say “true, but I have a skeleton and a body, and if I die, people can find me.”

But they haven't; that's the point, isn't it? There's no proof of your existence, no skeletons to reference, nothing besides your word on the internet. A grainy picture would be something.

I could tell you that the government is covering up the existence of bigfoot by hiding its remains and discrediting anyone who comes forth with clear proof, and that would have more credence than this argument.

An animal that size would have to eat all the time. Habitat shrinkage would mean they’d be coming into contact with humanity more and more. Yet nothing but grainy footage, a smattering of incredibly diverse “footprints” and some hoaxing.

Oh, but creatures such as yourself, consuming more than an aligator or wolf on a daily basis, wouldn't have that exact thing happen. Right. To be clear, I don't believe in bigfoot, but Simon is blissfully unaware that all these arguments apply doubly to a spring-jointed Rake-looking non mammal that goes on hungry rampages if it isn't consuming human flesh on the regular.

#simon alkenmayer #I honestly don't look at simon's blog because I rarely see a point #I've made my case and he has been mostly focused on political matters that I don't feel the need to debate #but I noticed the fool changed his url and I thought huh what's the ol' S-man been up to #and it's more of the same out of touch poor world building as always

[de-cryptid]

interesting how when simon goes hidden the crypt-id blog does too

Is that so?

#simon alkenmayer #I haven't really been watching

[de-cryptid]

I'm ignoring Simon for the time being to focus on other things but if something egregious comes up, do let me know.

[de-cryptid]

I cannot stress how you need to think through and plan your fiction’s rules, lore, etc so it remains consistent.

If you create a concrete baseline for how things operate, you can remain consistent shockingly easy just by referencing that baseline.

Ass-pulling responses starts a pile-up and, eventually, you’re going to end up like the MCU where characters stop acting like themselves, free will didn’t exist, magic has no rules and you have plot holes galore.

Plan your shit.

[de-cryptid]

Regarding your last post, I'd love to see that. Brain's still kinda messed up after being in his circle for so long, y'know? Still internalizing wacky shit he said.

I'm thinking over the most effective way to get my posts to people who are most vulnerable to the lies and misuse of authority, because talking directly TO simon is fruitless so how else do you address his audience?

Just mulling it over when I have the time. Until then, if you're in connection with inner circle people, maybe sharing my last compilation with some of them would be an interesting endeavor, even if it goes nowhere I'd be curious of their reactions.

#anonymous

[de-cryptid]

I'm thinking of changing up my approach.

I was doing some thinking about Simon's character and how inherently frustrating it is for someone to be caught in a total lie and still continue on as normal, as if they're totally credible, and I realized there's nothing that ensures those vulnerable to Simon's lies are made aware that he's unreliable.

It's all well and good for me to compile these posts, but those who need to see them most simply will not.

[de-cryptid]

Simon and his species are not real.

This is a post that will gather together evidence against the existence of Cousins and show that Simon is simply not what he claims, which is an important detail when he is attempting to, for example, provide health advice (such as about COVID-19) without listing any reputable sources beyond putting blind faith in him. If we can establish that he is a liar and his narrative surrounding his life is untrue, that discredits the information he is trying to claim is true, and vice versa; a creature who apparently has learned so much over the centuries showing a clear lack of knowledge not only shows he isn’t what he claims, but that he isn’t to be trusted. This is a long post so I’ve put the rest under a cut.

As an example of medical misinformation, I have this post here.

This is a bad idea, straight up. In the notes, jukraft is seen saying they’ll go and buy some superglue as well.

Super glue is not medical glue. If you have a “nasty cut”, not a shallow and clean nick in your skin, go to your doctor. You need sterile medical equipment, not craft supplies. 

Funny enough, here’s a post where Simon claims that they always tell people to go see their doctor when he’s asked for medical advice and that he’s “never given any” (though, to be fair, he said that before telling someone to superglue a wound).

Simon’s response to Jukraft is just those two words, as well, which you are free to check (if, for some odd reason, there is suddenly more than a two word response, use the web archive. I’ve made sure it’s documented as-is.)

he also endorses this person’s advice without any research, which suggests using yarrow. Again, do not recommend random medical advice to strangers. Here is an article about yarrow’s effectiveness and all the cases where you shouldn’t use it.

That is far from the only instance. Let’s take the more recent trend in his posts; discussing COVID-19. Simon claims to be running a company that has been developing COVID tests, so he also purports himself as well-read on the issue. 

And then follows up with lies.

Take this post. He says, flat-out: “ Omicron is several times more infectious than Delta. This means everyone is going to get it, but for the vast majority of fully vaxxed and boosted people, the symptoms will be minimal”

This is just not true. There was a quote from a doctor claiming “nearly everyone” will get it, but that’s USA specific, and also not everyone. On top of that, “the symptoms will be minimal” is also not true. They will be less, not as likely to cause death, but “minimal” is misleading. It can still be quite detrimental and debilitating.

Spreading these kinds of falsehoods in an already confusing landscape of COVID disinformation is not something that can merely be looked past and considered a part of the character. 

Now that I’ve demonstrated why it’s important to show that Simon is not reputable (and an example of that lack of knowledge), it’s time to delve into the specifics.

As a preface to the nitty-gritty science, I have this wonderful post from @simonblackquill-rp-blog

I’ve actually made a whole post about this before, as is the intention of my blog, after all, which you can read here. I want to elaborate further on a few points, though.

Electromagnetism

I very briefly explained that people do not have their own electromagnetic fields as they’re cell-specific and therefore using one’s field to manipulate others is just nonsense. This still holds true, but I want to explain some more about what electromagnetism’s effect on the human mind is and EHS - electromagnetic hypersensitivity.

Let’s start with EHS.

To be blunt, it’s a theoretical condition that has repeatedly been easily explained away with placebo/hypochondria or unrelated circumstances. Electromagnetic fields have not been shown to have any concrete influence on human biology, despite what some hopefuls would say. 

It’s actually really fun to read about, to me, because it’s a topic mostly discussed by people who believe 5G will cause cancer and that cellphones are evil in general, so a lot of these studies - taken very seriously, might I add - show absolutely no differences in the bodily functions of supposed “EHS” subjects and controls.

Now to talk about the electromagnetic influence on neurology.

There’s a few theories about consciousness being regulated and/or maintained through electromagnetic fields (EMFs), but they’re highly disputed and, some scientists say, “not worth studying” because of how little of a connection there is.

Like I stated in the post linked above, to tamper with the electromagnetism of our cells would severely hamper the ability of our nerves to send signals to one another. Even if Simon’s species were capable of affecting the fields around them, they would not be able to actually alter perception or behaviour, at most they *might* make someone groggy. Just that is contentious theorizing.

Evolution

Simon states repeatedly how his species is inherently superior to, well, all others and has been that way for millennia. He states he is well adapted to his surroundings, even in the modern world, which is interesting from a biological and evolutionary standpoint; If you have been alive for centuries, you clearly evolved to suite an environment that simply no longer exists.

And that’s not even touching on the matter of diet. I’ll refer once more to my linked post above, where I discuss how little sense it makes for his species to predate humanity considering he “needs” to consume us.

Again, I look to @simonblackquill-rp-blog​ with this salient explanation:

The subject of DNA being altered as you live is actually very interesting, but you will perhaps notice that humans (and other creatures) do not drastically change from one generation to the next. Evolution is gradual, something quite difficult to accomplish if your species lives so very, very long.

I want to include this post where I go into a bit more about evolution and cousins’ diet because it is so, so ridiculous.

I think I’ve rambled on long enough, retreading enough old ground and throwing in a few tidbits here and there. I think it’s beyond obvious Simon and Cousins are fictional, it’s just so insane to me how convinced Simon’s author seems to be that they’re masterfully executing an indistinguishable-from-reality narrative with so little knowledge.

#simon alkenmayer

[de-cryptid]

No, Simon, you weren’t accused of advocating animal abuse just because you made a joke about eating a turtle. You released your domestic rats into the wilderness because they were acting up. (post I’m ranting about) 

#sorry for spam #if you consider it spam? #I'm trying to go through his archive and I keep finding things I want to comment on

[de-cryptid]

It’s interesting how Simon simultaneously “has a lot of money to throw” at his experiment but also requires his test subjects to financially contribute to participate in the ideal manner (whether you actually give him money or generate it through Tapas, it’s still paying.)

Publish your books on Smashwords for free if you want accessibility.

#simon alkenmayer

[de-cryptid]

https://simonalkenmayer.tumblr.com/post/675337735146536960/its-funny-when-you-prove-that-youve-been

“That’s not gaslighting at all”

it literally isn’t. That’s not what gaslighting means. 

[de-cryptid]

I think it’s odd how little Simon seems to understand fiction, the internet, and roleplaying both in practice and conceptually.

To demonstrate this, here’s a quote from his site:

Popular culture and the fiction machine that appears to be overrunning your brains has reached a tipping point. People often come to the experiment and mock me by saying “This reminds me of role playing” or “This is such cringe culture”. They don’t realize they are outlining precisely why I am doing this and the timing of it. It is now, because so many of you have decided that you own this mythology and that you can lose yourselves in it. You are no longer vanquishing that thing you despise, but pretending to be it, romanticizing it into fantasies of a sexual nature, or turning it into you hopes and dreams, like an emblem for how much more wonderful your life would be. This is an odd and frankly suicidal notion. And I aim to deduce something from it.

source

“you have decided that you own this mythology...” How ironic! Humans do own their mythology! You are the one, Simon, claiming that Cousins are the true mythological creatures that all stories were birthed from. You are attempting to rip out an essential part of human nature - the concocting of stories out of nothing - because you think your fiction is the most compelling, most complete, most deserving. 

Like, how does one see people writing fantasy versions of their lives (something Simon’s author is very much doing with him) and claim that it’s a suicidal notion? What are you talking about? Have you studied literature? Do you anything about what you insist you’re “experimenting” on?

“This reminds me of roleplaying” is not mockery. It is an observation of what you are doing. Even if Simon existed, to compare his online presence - which he claims began in 2011 - to roleplaying is entirely understandable. Roleplaying forums are as old as the internet. Roleplaying itself is another quintessential part of human behaviour.

#simon alkenmayer #it's all so disappointing

[de-cryptid]

Compiling a post right now and going through Simon's blog archive is so very illuminating, as well as frustrating. He really does find any way to claim someone professing disbelief is being rude and cruel, how dare they not look at every single thing he's written about himself before developing an opinion.

[de-cryptid]

1. Not how experiments work.

2. He can easily experiment on Simon and clearly has, just because he dislikes the methodology and quantification doesn't mean they don't exist.

3. I've established numerous times how his experiment doesn't actually hold water, doesn't follow the criteria for experimentation, and doesn't abide by the scientific method. So this is hilariously more laughable than whatever point simon is trying to make.

#simon alkenmayer

[de-cryptid]

I need to immortalize this on my blog because this is so telling, so arrogant, so crude, and not to mention unnecessarily defensive.

Hijacking posts on tumblr is obviously not illegal and cannot be prevented, the same way we cannot stop bullying, but that doesn't mean you should do it. Many people make posts they want to generate discussion, not be used by someone's ARG as a means of self promotion, to which Simon has said "well, this is social media, I get to do what I want" as if that's at all justification for shitty behaviour.

#simon alkenmayer

[de-cryptid]

It's really fucking weird that people seem to think you only do or think about the things you post about on social media. I have so much more going on my life than I ever post about here, and so do most people.

Chances are high that you know almost nothing about any given blogger on this website, and making wild assumptions about their personal lives based on what they do post about is both weird and invasive.