text â pete 10 inch davidson
troye: you're smarter than you look, davidson.
pete: i know that i'm the type of fucker who looks like he eats glue, but i'm offended that you're only now coming to this realization
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remarigrandeâ:
I guess it was just.. a sudden urge to talk to you and to see you again. I donât know maybe I just.. I guess sometimes I miss our connection. Is that crazy?
Believe me, I know crazy, and that ainât it. Romantic or not, nobody can deny that the connection we had was fuckinâ strong, and for as little as it lasted, it definitely made us happy, so...no, not crazy. Weâre all just out here chasing some form of happiness, right? I just figured you had enough good people around you to ever need to talk to me again?Â
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sophieturnerglamâ:
You know, I was kind of looking forward to just seeing my profile along your back and now iâm just let down here. Which dire wolf is it, though? Maybe you can redeem yourself here a bit, sir. I got a whole bunch of stuff from the set so just come scoop them whenever you want. If I see them on EBay Iâll be acting like I know nothing when the Game of Thrones people try to call me. Damn, how did you know my selling point was humor and good looks?
Donât tempt me, maâam. I met Hillary Clinton once and got her face tattooed on my leg - what followed was a long, secret, sordid love affair, but we donât talk about that. ( Some even say it inspired Taylor Swiftâs âSad, Beautiful, Tragicâ ). Also please donât ask me such silly questions - you didnât expect that Iâd be sober while getting that dire wolf ink only six episodes into the first season, did you? I wouldnât be surprised to learn they just grabbed a photo off Google images of a regular wolf and traced it. Bet, and if you see them going from someone on eBay with the username David Peterson - for all you know, heâs a used car salesman from Michigan, no relation to me at all. Apparently, humor and mediocre looks are this seasons âtall, dark and wealthyâ, they donât even need to be good looks.Â
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shawnsmendesglamâ:
Itâs all apart of the Shawn Mendes charm, Pete. All in the hair and the eyes, you know? Really charm the people with this boyish charm I got going for me. I mean, it still kinda sucks but Iâm slowly building myself back up here since she cheated on me with the one guy she told me not to worry about. Trying not to dwindle too much on it because I canât care about a girl that clearly didnât about me. Still kinda stings.
Iâm sure the abs and voice of an angel got nothing to do with it, at all. That...seriously fucking sucks, dude, Iâm sorry. I canât even imagine how insane and paranoid that would make me going forward. Iâm sure everyoneâs already saying it - but it really is her loss. I hope you donât think everyone else is gonna take you for granted like that.
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iMessage: P.D
Kiernan: Well, I hope it goes well for you. I'm not even looking forward to picking up the courage to talk to him again.
Kiernan: I'm telling you, I don't need the ring. Just the money and the sex
Kiernan: hey, i didn't say i would NEVER give it back. just that i don't see it happening for a while
Kiernan: besides its cold as fuck in new york???? everything you wear is oversized so it's like a warm comfy dress on me that i don't need to wear pants with :)
Pete: honestly kiernan, you've done literally nothing wrong, so you don't need any pre-thought out message to come back with. literally just text him one day like "consider this a blessing".
Pete: smh, you get your face on one seasons smartwater promos and suddenly the golddiggers come out of the woodwork. you just want a lifetime supply of free bottled water huh i know your game
Pete: sometimes i feel like you know what you doin' when you say this shit, and you say it anyway, and it's cruel
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lilyjcxllinsâ:
Now-a-days people think theyâre cool if they donât like something everyone else does. They feel like theyâre finally âdifferent and originalâ because they are saying they hate something thatâs actually good. Social media is a huge reason, I think, too. People get really bold behind a screen because no one can see them or know who they are. I mostly just use my social media stuff to post stuff of Redford or keep up with my friendsâ stuff and promo my own things. The haters can stay mad as i ignore them. Real talk though, Petey, if you ever need me Iâm here. Iâll be your protector forever. We didnât start the DavidCo Defense Squad for nothinâ.
I heard weâre all pretendinâ to not like Ed Sheeran anymore because he got too âmainstreamâ? Not like everyone knows in an industry thatâs always changing you probably gotta adapt and sell out a little if you wanna keep doing what youâre doing. I fully believe that, too - I know youâre the kinda person whoâd be like the best fuckinâ friend to have and lean on, so this is a win for me.Â
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hqlilithyâ:
I promise. As long as Iâve made my point and you rescind all claims of Cami being HufflepuffâŚIâll let this go.
Iâd put out a formal apology video online if I could. So, screenshot this, tweet it, do whatever you must: I, Pete Davidson am regretful to inform you all of some sloppy decisions I made on the eve of the 16th November and hereby suggest you all entrust any future Hogwarts housing with Lili Pauline Reinhart. I am deeply embarrassed that I couldâve been so blinded in telling Camila Carraro Mendes to âwear a yellow skirt or somethinâ when I shouldâve asked for proof of a pre-completed personality test first.Â
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text â pete
Cami: don't be rude.
Cami: okay, okay. i can take a hint. i won't push. mmm, i know you are. i'm just teasing.
Cami: bahahaha poor thing. she'll move along eventually. you'll survive. i promise.
Pete: 404: request not found.
Pete: i just breathed out a sigh of relief, fr. i just wanna start moving on from it all.
Pete: she'll move along, but the pictures of you in hufflepuff attire will forever remain đ
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missmaiâ:
I donât think that can be classified as needs. Kim can buy literally anything, maybe Staten Island will humble her. Besides, that technically makes you the Prince Harry of Staten Island and thatâs pretty much as good as youâre going to get from anyone. That kind of title doesnât come around very often! Wear it with pride before SI turns itâs back on you again. I guess you could move into my new place in Studio City⌠but youâre not allowed to make it gross or have like wild orgies with your zillions of cougars you seem to attract. I already rented one out to a friend of a friend, Jacob Elordi. I guess I could handle you both since youâre not there all the time.
Would you call not shitting your pants a luxury? Literally anything? Well fuck, why doesnât she just buy all of Staten Island - Iâm sure itâs on the market for a whopping fifty dollars. So Iâm getting demoted now? Master Judd Apatow already dubbed me the king, and what that man says goes. Iâm not here to fuck around with no Prince Harry title, fuck. Although...you know that scene in one of the Ice Ages where Sid the Sloth thinks heâs the king when really his minions are just trying to toss him into a fiery pit of lava? Iâm mildly aware that thatâs my relationship with the people of SI. Theyâve been wanting to roast me on a spit for years. Ah yes, the Aussie giraffe of my dreams - Iâve known the dude for a while actually, weâve always got along like a dream, despite the whole sharing an ex thing. Iâm sure he pulls in more attention than me, so...if heâs allowed his Kaiaâs and Zendayaâs round, justice for me and my cougars. Iâll soundproof the walls real good?
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text â pete
Cami: i thought i might switch it up and ask the birthday boy.
Cami: if you're upset, it matters. it's your party and you'll mope if you want to!! aw, petey. look at you getting all sweet on me. yeah, i did still manage to have a good time!! i always do.
Pete: cheap-ass.
Pete: honestly, when aren't i upset though lmao? sad's my norm, so it's fine cami seriously. idkwym i'm a damn sweetheart all the time ??
Pete: can't believe you'd tell lili on me, smh. i'm getting my ass handed to me & i'm about this close to handing her over my soul.
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hqlilithyâ:
That isâŚshameful. And you call yourself the ultimate Potter fan? You decided she was a Hufflepuff because her favorite color is yellow? Pete, sit down.
Sheâs clearly a Gryffindor. One, sheâs outspoken as heck and is constantly speaking her mind and she loves being the center of attention. Thatâs also the Brazilian in her, but still, very Gryffindor traits. Sheâs incredibly loyal which, yes, could also be considered a Hufflepuff trait but sheâs loyal to the point where sheâd cut a bitch if you even looked at someone she loved wrong. Sheâs stubborn and brave and daring and adventurous. Sheâs constantly pushing you out of your comfort zone. Sheâs Gryffindor. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
If I get into a little ball on the ground and start crying and repeating how âgryffindor as fuckâ Cami is do you promise to spare me my life? Iâm a lil afraid of you right now, not gonna lie. Please, âo powerful Reinhart, I donât want no smoke, I just had a lot of shit to think about that day.
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text â pete 10 inch davidson
troye: HOW DID YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS DOING?
pete: four years of knowing you, troye. you think i'm not wise to ur games by now?
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shawnsmendesglamâ:
Just callinâ it like I see it, man. Note to self: tell Pete you got a date with a Hipogriff and run in the other direction. Damn Slytherins, can never trust âem. Itâs the arms, I think. Been working out post break up and I guess it paid off a bit, didnât it? A free concert for the masses is a sure fire way to get everyone loving you. I could have dressed up like that on wizarding band from the fourth film. It would have been fire, but now my dreams are crushed.
The only excuse Iâll ever accept for anyone to bail on me - Iâd just wanna know how you even managed to charm another species without being able to talk to them...must be the hair. Aw, dude, Iâm sorry to hear that. Or...am I sorry? Are we sad or are we celebrating? Whatâs the vibe here?
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sophieturnerglamâ:
Metaphors are just apart of my charm and we all know it. That would have been fuckinâ hilarious, mate. Could you imagine just everyone showing up in fur coats and the park people are just there looking like a bunch of standing person emojis? Iconic. Wait, you have a Game of Thrones tattoo? You must show me, like, now. I think you and your poodle would ROCK it as Sansa and a dire wolf. Make it your costume for next year. Might even have some Sansa stuff around the house you can use. Aww, are you trying to hook me up with your friends, Peterson? Iâm feeling loved right now.
Well, I mean...I did. Itâs kinda fading into the abyss now because Iâm getting all my tats removed, but you can still see it, itâs a dire wolf on my arm - you disappointed itâs not just one of your face all across my back? Damn, if I was getting to wear authentic pieces, how could I even consider any other costume? Iâm sold. I just like seeing funny people with funny people, you know? Thereâs nothing more fun than watching them vibe, and even if I get to witness it just for a night? Yeah, Iâm buying front row seats. Heâs pretty easy on the eyes too, if that helps?
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Honestly felt like I woke up in 2018 when I saw the notification for this message. Had to run to my window and holler âwhat year is it?!â to the nearest passer-by. Iâm...okay, though. Still slugginâ on. To what do I owe the sudden interest?
..itâs been a while, pete. How are you?
@davidsonhqâ
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text â pete
Cami: according to lili i should've asked her which house i'm part of. she does not agree with you.
Cami: who missed out on the birthday party of the year? i wouldn't have missed it for anything.
Pete: i'm surprised you didn't, don't you girls always need to confer on what you're wearing before you go out ?? and you trusted me of all people ??
Pete: it doesn't even matter now, i shouldn't be moping abt it because i had a ton of people who /did/ show up, and you're all dope, and i appreciate you loads. did you have a good time, anyway?
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