a concept: raven with lots of tattoos in modern but they’re relatively small and scattered across her body
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raven’s sense of self worth is heavily linked to her abilities & intelligence. a lot of it comes from the neglectful behavior and practically rejection from her mother. she didn’t matter in her own family besides her rations. when she begins to be picked first and gain attention and respect, it comes because of her intelligence during her classes. therefore her value = to being useful in any way.
“ i used to be picked first for everything. earth skills… zero-g mech course… so, how the hell did i end up here ? ”
that quote hints heavily on that. she still has the same skillset, she’s still useful around the camp. and yet, she ends up heartbroken & with a bullet in her spine. working while bleeding & paralyzed to make one last plan work.
finn loving her, choosing her kind of balanced that out. but the moment he gets a chance, he leaves her. he choses someone else. & raven goes back to getting attention only because of what she can do.
and it’s very visible in her behavior that she’ll put work first & her well being second. she makes the ring of fire while still bleeding. she starts working a day after her surgery. she keeps working and going on patrols with her leg aching because she’s useful. she is willing to die if she can provide them with a solution to the radiation.
[ abby: ] “ you can still be useful. ”
she feels betrayed the moment she’s benched & she feels useless. resulting in her taking the chip so she can gain some self worth back. fix her leg so she can work again.
not being able to fix the fuel problem on the ring, breaks her. she’s not able to figure this out therefore she thinks very low of herself. she feels like she’s failing them & staying behind on the eligius ship is a no brainer even without the coding. the rest 6 deserve to go home more than her. she wants to but if anyone’s staying behind; it’s her.
tl;dr: she would risk her life / well being if it meant being able to make a plan work / be of use. when she isn’t able to figure something out her self worth lowers significantly. while she believes in her skills ( even if she sometimes doubts them ) & prides herself on them and her intelligence; she doesn’t really think of herself outside of that, of raven the person not the mechanic, as someone with a lot of worth.
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raven reyes + forgiveness
something i did want to talk about was raven’s forgiveness. while she has a tendency to get angry even at people she loves & is willing to say harsh things that sometimes need to be heard. at the end of the day she is willing to forgive & it doesn’t take much to forgive.
the first one is her mother who while she’s spoken badly about, she’s spoken about the things she did to her in a casual manner at first during s1. as if it was a fact & not something that hurt her. she even goes so far to defend her in a way in s6 ( even if those words are mostly out of spite towards abby. )
second is finn, who also deeply hurt her with his actions, and yet she doesn’t really hold it against him. in 1x11 right after their breakup, after finn tries to apologize again she cuts him off & says that they’re good ( & that he doesn’t need to apologize or talk about this ) this is partly to avoid the subject but she doesn’t hold the way he hurt her against him. again she practically justifies his actions in s2 with the things change, maybe it’s for the best. & then reaffirms that they’ll always be family.
murphy is obviously a prime example who disabled her & she forgave him. besides s2 for being while to throw him under the bus to save finn & obviously being vocally angry towards him while still bleeding on the floor from that bullet, she’s not blowing up towards him. she doesn’t like him though & she makes it known. there‘s also her blow up during s4 but it was enhanced from the situation with her brain. ultimately all it took to forgive him was him helping her get away the drones in the island & saying he’s sorry for doing this (both s2 i think but that wasn’t the most genuine & actually in s4). it does take a lot to trust him but she’s already forgiven him @ that point and six years later she considers him family.
abby is also another example. even from s2, abby slaps her & raven offers her what she’s drinking in return. in s6 it’s more complicated and she does blow up at abby at first, saying cruel things. but ultimately she apologizes for her words & forgives abby. now i don’t remember s6 that well but i don’t remember abby doing much to earn that forgiveness save for also apologizing.
clarke & raven have also had a turbulent relationship. first instance that this plays into is with finn’s death. that’s the first betrayal, with her own knife being used & being asked from clarke to not attend the funeral because she had to watch the radio. she does blame her for the choice especially during the funeral, when herself is accused of poisoning lexa & punches her for it. the only time she ever brings it up again is during their fight before the tondc bombing. ( you killed finn and i didn’t give up ) but at the same episode practically forgives her with that hug & doesn’t bring it up again. now they’ve had their disagreements afterwards but the next big one really is what happened in s5 & how that carries on in s6. she fully blames clarke for turning her in to be tortured & doesn’t accept that apology as enough. yet, by the end of the season because they nearly lost clarke, she’s forgiven her & doesn’t speak of it again.
i also want to note in s7 while she’s very much angry with bellamy, who also showed no remorse towards sending her to be tortured, at the end of the day she tries to reason his behavior for herself really. but she says to murphy that something must have happening to him out there ( for him to have this behavior ) did she forgive him @ that point ? no. but she tries to find a way for it to make sense to possibly forgive him later on.
what i want to end with is raven saying have you ever loved someone so much that no matter what they do to you, you take it ? it’s spoken with regards to her mother but truly this can be applied for all her dynamics. because at the end, she doesn’t hold grudges for a long period of time.
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it is common in mecha station to hear spanish & brazilian portuguese being spoken among citizens as much as english. mecha was formed from the original brazillian space station & the languages carried over through the generations.
raven is almost fluent in spanish. she can speak with no problem but is not as used to reading and writing because she didn’t have as many opportunities to practise.
she can also understand some brazilian portuguese as well as speak a few phrases that she’s picked up from working around mecha.
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𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎: 𝚖𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚓𝚊𝚢.
at the end of the quarter quell, raven is one of the victors who are captured by the capitol. and she becomes, almost an experiment for the capitol. they’ve already figured out how to distort memories. but being able to access them, is another step that they test on raven. in the end, they manage to control her in a way & send her waves of pain when she doesn’t comply.
when she can no longer handle the pain, she can no longer resist the influence. & she turns into a weapon at the hands of the capitol. using her for interviews but most importantly using her against friends and alies.
she never wanted to risk the rebellion, but when she’s coming to without anything else in her head, she can’t help but be relieved that they didn’t give up on her.
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𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎: 𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜. 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚝 3.
no one knows what to expect of the girl who can take apart the arena’s technology and use it to her will. others fought to get weapons, she fought to get whatever piece of technology was available. until a sponsor gave her a screwdriver and a pair of pliers that become the most lethal in her hands. but she lacked physical & fighting skills and took a stab in her spine. unable to escape cornucopia, she makes bombs placed right in the entrance until her legs give out. no one knows what to make of an unconscious victor who blew up the last tributes with blood stained hands from her own injury.
she’s a genius & the capitol knows it. the capitol wants her, brace & everything to work for them. design games, traps that wouldn’t be taken apart by another tribute. she refuses and the boy she loves ends up in the games right after hers. she’s forced to watch as another tribute shoves a knife to his gut and hear his canon echo through the screen. the capitol thinks it was a lesson, they don’t know she’s much more dangerous with nothing to lose.
when the quarter quell arrives, she takes wiress’s place. her and beetee have a task. figure out a way to blow up the arena. destroy the forcefield. a rebellion is rising and that’s their first big action. & raven reyes has always favored explosions.
01. ceasar discussing her games. 02. jaha a capitol member approaches her for a new position. 03. haymitch gives advice to katniss and peeta regarding raven.
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#SPACEK1NG: independent bellamy blake from the 100 universe. this interpretation is based on season 1 - 5, and mostly headcanon based. plot driven. as adored by chrissie. twenty-eight, she/they.
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𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐭. 𝟏
i’ve made emotional ones before but also, angst?? bon appetit!
“ i can’t do this alone… “
“ i can’t do this without you. “
“ nothing is worth losing you. “
“ i can’t lose you! not again! “
“ i don’t wanna lose you! “
“ i love you… “
“ i never should’ve dragged you into this. “
“ you’re not alone, [NAME]… you never were. “
“ if something happened to you… that would be because of me. and i can’t have that. “
“ …did you know about this? “
“ this is all my fault… “
“ i/we/you lost… “
“ you won’t win. “
“ this path you’re on… it’s gonna get you killed. you know that, though; don’t you? “
“ i can’t stop. “
“ you would tell me if something was wrong. wouldn’t you? “
“ it’s like you’re not really here; even when you are. “
“ don’t you get it?! if anything happens to you, i… i don’t know what i’d do! “
“ you have no idea how important you are to me, and i’m tired of waiting for you to figure it out, and i sure as hell won’t wait to announce it over your reckless ass’ grave! “
“ no! i’m not leaving without you! “
“ i can’t do this anymore… “
“ you don’t even know me. “
“ what have you done?! “
“ you’re shaking… “
“ i’ve… made some mistakes. “
“ you are nothing to me. “
“ you were never nothing to me… “
“ stop it. enough of this self-sacrificing bullshit! stop acting like you have nobody who loves you! you have me! so no! you don’t get to be a martyr. not today! we can figure out a different plan… “
“ i would’ve done anything for you… “
“ i’d risk everything and anything for you. “
“ i’m not a good person. “
“ please don’t look at me like that… “
“ i believed in you! “
“ we can’t lose… “
“ what?! what am i supposed to do?! please! tell me, what the hell am i supposed to do?! “
“ please, just go… i’m not the kind of person anyone needs to be around right now. “
“ what happened to you? huh? what happened to you to make you this way? “
“ they’re coming for you. right? that’s why you’re pushing me away like an idiot? because you don’t want me getting hurt? “
“ nothing’s going to be as good as it was before. “
“ you lied to me! “
“ i didn’t mean for any of this to happen! “
“ i can’t trust you anymore… “
“ i know it’s selfish. god knows, ever since we met, i’ve been the reason behind every threat and danger that’s come your way. but… i honestly can’t say that i’d change a second of it. “
“ it’s been an honour knowing you. “
“ there’s nobody else i can turn to. only you. “
“ i don’t trust anybody else. not the way i trust you. “
“ we have no choice… “
“ why?! why are you helping me?! “
“ it’s too late. there’s nothing more we can do… “
“ please don’t go… don’t leave me. “
“ you are everything to me. okay? EVERYTHING. i can’t lose you… “
“ you deserve better than this… better than me… “
“ i thought i could give you a better life. instead, i’m the reason it’s gotten worse… i’m so sorry. “
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𝐙𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒. (𝐏𝐓. 𝟏)
so i’m rewatching a number of shows based in the zombie apocalypse genre atm, but let’s be totally brutally honest, all of us are dead are absolutely responsible for this! anyway, these are all dialogue prompts, i’m only on episode 1 of twd so be ready for like, a LOT of parts of this!! basically, don’t add to this list, okay? okay. i hope ye enjoy them!
“ how have you survived all this time on your own? “
“ there’s strength in numbers, you know. you should come with me. “
“ i know a place. it’s secure, isolated… it’s safe. if we get there, we stand a good chance. that is… assuming you wanna team up with me? “
“ i’ll keep watch tonight. you try and get some sleep, okay? “
“ what do you miss most? about before? “
“ you won’t get far if you don’t know how to use a weapon. i can teach you, if you like? “
“ if we could get to the airport, or the coast… they’ve got to be evacuating people, right? “
“ let’s set up camp here for tonight. we’re no good if we can’t keep our eyes open to see what’s coming for us. “
“ the radio works. we can’t call for help, but… i found a station that’s still playing music. “
“ is… is that a bite? “
“ no! no, don’t come any closer… i got bit. “
“ no… no, no, please… tell me you didn’t get bit trying to save me. “
“ it’s my fault you got bit! “
“ hey, hey… we don’t have time to argue, love. okay? i got enough time to get you somewhere safe before i turn, but… only if we go right now. okay? “
“ what should we call them? zombies feels kinda silly, doesn’t it? “
“ they’re faster than i thought they’d be. usually… i mean, in the movies… they’re usually so slow. “
“ aim for the head! haven’t you ever seen a zombie movie before?! “
“ listen… we have a camp set up nearby. there’s a group of us; strength in numbers, you know? why don’t you join us? “
“ you’re really naive if you think for one second that the government’s gonna fix all this. we’re on our own. us and the infected. “
“ let’s stop for a second, okay? if that wound of yours gets much worse, the zombies might not have to kill you. “
“ jesus… i’ve never seen a horse that big before… “
“ it’s… it’s crazy, i-i’ve never seen one… never seen one up close like that before. “
“ did you get bitten? scratched? anything? “
“ give me a hand boarding up the windows, will you? “
“ we need water, medicine, ammo and food. in that order. okay? “
“ it’s okay… it’s okay, they won’t be able to get through that barricade, i promise. we’re safe. we’re safe. “
“ your wallet’s useless now; it’s just bits of paper. the world we knew is gone. we’ll be paying with bullets and antibiotics from now on. “
“ you think they can smell us or hear us? you know, which of their senses is stronger since they turned? “
“ i don’t know who the bigger threat is; the dead, or the living. “
“ hurry! that barricade won’t hold them off for long! “
“ damn it! we’re out of gas… looks like we’re gonna have to walk the rest of the way. get your weapons out and ready, and keep quiet, okay? “
“ i heard it on the radio a couple of days ago. it sounded too good to be true, at first. a camp of survivors, food, shelter, protection… but maybe we should try and find it? “
“ what did you do? you know, before? “
“ you’re bleeding… from a bite? scratch? anything from one of those dead monsters?! “
“ i used to be with another group. it didn’t last long. “
“ hey, hey, don’t add so many logs to the fire. the dead might see it. “
“ you know what i don’t miss about before? traffic jams. “
“ do you think we turn regardless? or do we have to be bitten first? “
“ hey, i’m thinking of heading out later for a supply run. wanna join me? “
“ maybe it’s just us. maybe the rest of the world is okay, zombie-free. “
“ do you think we might be the only people left alive? you know, other than the infected? “
“ we need to find somewhere more long-term. with land to farm and fresh water, somewhere high up and isolated. somewhere we can survive and live until this mess is over. “
“ hurry! come with me, they’ll have heard the gunshot! “
“ hey… listen, we… we gotta go now. you can’t stay with them. they’re gone, you know it, they know it… it’s too late for them now. we need to move away before they turn… “
“ no sense in leaving now, they have us surrounded. we’ll camp here for the night; they’ll be gone by morning. “
“ did you know anyone who got bit? who turned? “
“ you think they remember anything from their past, after they turn? “
“ we just need to wait until the scientists come up with a cure, that’s all. “
“ promise you won’t let me become one of those. promise… promise you’ll stop me before i turn. “
“ they’re not alive. okay? it’s not like killing an actual living human being. they’re dead, and they’re starving, and they’re dangerous, and you have to be ready to kill them in a heartbeat. “
“ there’s an evacuation centre up north. if we get there… even if we don’t get on a plane, we could stay there. they say the cold affects the dead. “
“ i’m gonna teach you how to shoot, because the way things are looking now, you’re a bigger danger to yourself than the dead. “
“ use your knife, the gunshot’ll draw more! “
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& .˚ the expanse prompts. ( this is an assortment from all seasons, including season six trailers, from many characters and is mostly focused on the themes of war, politics, morality, humanity & all that jazz. feel free to change pronouns if needed. )
“ a kid needs at least one person who never gives up on them, no matter what ”
“ everyone leaves unfinished business. that’s what dying is. ”
“ the sides change sometimes. what we think we’re fighting for. who we tell ourselves are the good people. but it just seems we can’t ever stop fighting war after war after war. it’s part of being human. an ugly part, but i don’t think it will ever change. ”
“ no weapon ever brings peace. ”
“ i’m never going to like what you did, but i can’t hate you for doing what you thought was right. ”
“ i think, ‘[her] father was a terrible person,’ but a lot of people have terrible parents. and then i think, ‘[she]’s clearly damaged person,’ but then, who isn’t? so i’m down to, ‘maybe [she] has a brain tumor.’ do you have a brain tumor? ”
“ hate is a burden. you don’t have to carry it with you ”
“ us and them. how many of us… how many of them ? ”
“ you’re either some kind of genius or you’re the luckiest dipshit in the solar system. ”
“ the war does not end when people put down their guns; it ends when they reconcile. until then, the war has only paused. ”
“ you just have to believe that what you’re doing really matters, and then the fear can’t control you. ”
“ don’t worry about what i want, worry about what i am due. ”
“ walking away is the only choice anyone ever has. ”
“ and he’s building it on a river of blood, with your help ! ”
“ the thing about civilization is, it keeps you civil. get rid of one; you can’t count on the other. ”
“ if we decided to include everyone in our tribe without demanding that they prove we need them, maybe people wouldn’t have thrown rocks at us in the first place. ”
“ as long as we’re living and breathing, there’s more we can do. we just have to be strong enough. ”
“ maybe this war was inevitable, maybe there was no way to avoid it. the best you can hope for is that it’s justified. ”
“ good and bad, don’t get distracted by that. it will just confuse you. good men do bad things and bad men do things believing it’s for the good of all mankind. ”
“ i didn’t kill [him] because he was crazy. i killed [him] because he was making sense. ”
“ you give a monkey a stick, inevitably he’ll beat another monkey to death with it. ”
“ the way i see it, there’s only three kinds of people in this world. bad ones, ones you follow, and ones you need to protect. ”
“ truth is truth. how you deal with it is up to you. ”
“ the hardest part of this game is figuring out who the enemy really is. ”
“ every shitty thing we do makes the next one that much easier, doesn’t it? ”
“ individuals can be divided and conquered, but symbols… symbols endure. ”
“ there are ways that you can live a good life, without being a good person. ”
“ stars are better off without us. ”
“ guilt is like salt. you put a little on, and it hides all the bitterness. ”
“ don’t decide for them. tell them the truth and let them decide for themselves. ”
“ i never loved you because you were fighters, i loved you because you were builders. ”
“ a child who won’t grow up turns into a fool. ”
“ you must always have a knife in the darkness. ”
“ violence is indiscriminate. if you use it as a tool, it will do more than just kill your enemies. sometimes it will kill the ones you love most. ”
“ no matter how traumatic the loss is, you only have so much emotional stamina. even grief can get used up. ”
“ everything you do is corrupt, and i can’t stand to be part of it. ”
“ if you want to die, i can’t stop you. but there is a path from where you are to where i am. all we did was buy you a little time. you decide what you want to do with it. ”
“ i need you to know, whatever happens, wherever you go, you’re not gonna do it alone. ”
“ we did not choose this, but this is our fight now. ”
“ see, here’s the thing. i was terrified for you, i didn’t know why. and now i do, you will do anything to win. i won’t play with you, ever again. ”
“ [she] trusted you, [she] put [her]self in your hands ‘cause [she] couldn’t see the blood on 'em. ”
“ if we get out of this, we have to find a way to understand each other, to explain why we made the choices that we did. it is the only way that we can let go of the hate. ”
“ but there’s only one thing that i need to tell you and it’s the simplest thing. but it’s the hardest thing to remember. listen to your heart. no matter what. it’ll always be the right call. ”
“ war is an inherently unstable interaction of three things: intense emotion, politics and luck. ”
“ in the end, the only thing that matters is fighting for who’s covering your back. ”
“ many fought for us to get here. many died. we have lost people we loved, and have suffered. we would be justified to seek vengeance. but instead, we will choose peace. we must choose peace. ”
“ when people don’t tell the truth, it always ends badly. ”
“ how much shit do i have to eat before you treat me with some respect ? ”
“ what i want to know now is, are we - i mean humanity - are we part of that plan? ”
“ we’re on the brink right now because we keep reacting to things we don’t understand. we’re scared, we’re hurt, and we’re reaching for violence cause we can’t figure out what to do. just this once, can’t we try something else? ”
“ i know he wouldn’t die for you, but he would let you die for him. ”
“ a parent you never hear from exists in a quantum state, both dead and alive, until you check up on them and the act of observing makes one of the two states true. ”
“ we were already at war. you just couldn’t see it because they were killing us slow. ”
“ i have killed but I’m not a killer, because a killer is a monster and monsters aren���t afraid. ”
“ killing people doesn’t mean you’re strong. ”
“ now the only dream i have for you is that someday, you will regret all the things you’ve already done. ”
“ we’re wounded, broken, trying desperately to keep ourselves going by pretending we’re not. ”
“ people come into our lives and they go out. families change. it can be hard and sad, but we bear it, as long as we don’t shut ourselves off from the new, wonderful things that come—and i know there will be more wonderful things for you. ”
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WHAT ELSE YOU GOT IN THAT DAMN BRAIN OF YOURS ? INDEPENDENT & SELECTIVE ROLEPLAY BLOG OF RAVEN REYES OF CW’S THE HUNDRED. SEASONS 1-7 , MAINLY CANON COMPLIANT. SPACEWALKED BY SUN.
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@bandrona asked: I NEED YOU TO KNOW, WHATEVER HAPPENS, WHEREVER YOU GO, YOU’RE NOT GONNA DO IT ALONE.
IT’S A PROMISE SHE’S HEARD MULTIPLE TIMES and it begins to feel like an empty one. how many times did her mother say i love you before leaving her without a ration ? how many times did the boy next door promise to be there for her, until the moment he stepped away from her replacing her with another. she does not fault clarke for that. she does however blame her for her own knife ending up into the guts of said boy. especially right after the promise that nothing would happen to him. her family, the only glimpse of family she’s ever gotten. “ sure. until the next time something else works best for your plan. ” there it is, her inability to settle with half truths and half relationships. if it’s not all or nothing, she has trouble placing her trust on it.
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okay but because we're talking about 1x11 today: in that scene, raven says that she's only ever been with finn. then she sleeps with bellamy. and in s2 she sleeps with wick. how does she contextualize her thing with wick within her grief over and love for finn? since they are close in the timeline (unlike shaw, but if you have thoughts on that too pls lmk!!!)
01. 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚖𝚢
first of all, i want to mention that it’s not revenge sex, it’s not hate sex, it’s not oh finn’s probably screwing clarke right now & i’m going to go screw someone. regarding my portrayal at least. i base this exactly on the line that she’s never been with anyone but finn. that’s the only moment she lets her guard down in front of bellamy & looks at him almost pleading. she doesn’t expect that sleeping with one person will erase finn. she sleeps with bellamy because she doesn’t want finn to be the only one to have touched her. it’s a moment of gaining herself back, her body back. finn has been written with capitals letter in every aspect of her life. it’s an attempt to take away his special place in her life, in her heart, in her body. obviously it doesn’t help but she doesn’t regret trying.
the reason she chose bellamy is fundamentaly trust. trust that he won’t ask anything from her after, trust that he’ll help her, trust that he won’t speak of his conquest ( as she expects most teenagers in camp would ). which emphasizes why this is about herself & not finn or making him jealous.
also something i talked with kari about was that while he had been to that point more dominant, he let her take the lead & control in this because she was in a vulnerable state. & that while his words were dismissive and saying he didn’t care, he gave her a way out & only started touching her after she kissed him and proved that she wanted to do this.
that trust she placed on him was both returned & proved a right decision, and from that point on they’ve always been a team working together.
02. 𝚠𝚒𝚌𝚔
with wick, it was because of her grief and trauma. she was in a very complicated headspace in season two. with mixed feelings about finn, & the grief of losing her leg and losing finn, and clarke’s betrayal. but she needed to do her job, from like day one post her surgery and she had to bury those feelings. and with the tensions high of them about to go to war, she needed a release. she wanted to feel alive right before they risked their lives. but also at that time period, because of her leg & her grief, she felt broken and she wanted to both feel good about herself and feel a temporary high. it didn’t work either and she felt even worse after. wick says she shut down on him after. because the high was temporary and then she crashed hard in reality.
she placed the same trust on wick too, but he wanted more than she could give him at that time. she couldn’t be in another relationship so soon. not with her hard edges and overwhelming emotions. she felt bad for being implusive about this, for starting this when she wasn’t ready yet for something more. & honestly she felt a bit like her mother, using sex not to get favors & moonshine, but to get just a brief peace of mind from suffocating emotions. obviously that’s not fully true, she never intended to use anyone, she just wanted to feel good for once. but she’s in a complicated headspace as i stated before.
03. 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚠
with shaw with have yet again, a raven in grief. she just lost monty & harper and that loss combinined with the anger of them leaving her is again overwhelming. she’s very much in tears as she stomps out the hallway when shaw follows. difference is this time she says that she’s not okay when asked. his line about sounding good to him to spend the rest of his life with someone he loves while directly looking at raven gives her the final push. but at the end of the day, even if she wants this, it is once again stifling her pain & anger & grief with pleasure. this is the only time it helps somewhat, and distracts her from her pain for a short period.
there’s a pattern here, everytime she sleeps with someone she’s in a complicated or vulnerable place emotionally. ( this applies even with finn in s1 ) but ultimately her desicion is based on wanting to make herself feel good or better than before. she can’t bring herself to regret any of her decisions but none of them had been out of love. attraction ? yes. but not quite feelings yet or at the very least deep ones.
& 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: raven never deals with grief well. most of the times her grief or hurt is expressed with anger. and a way to release exactly that anger is sex.
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𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱.
in the actual scene raven talks about how finn didn’t hesitate to catch clarke. & that was on her mind. but truly she thought of the difference she saw in their own relationship. he had been willing to risk his life for hers in a heartbeat on the ark. on the ground that’s changed. when presented with the choice of himself or raven he hesitates; before the answer was straight up raven. obviously she doesn’t want him risking his life for her constantly but this solidifies that their relationship changed, for good. yes, she speaks of clarke. but the second ‘ you hesitated ’ , in her delirious feverish state, refers to the change from the spacewalk to now.
𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 …
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i have been a lil unmotived these past few days when it comes to actually writing but come to plot and discuss dynamics eith me on discord ( naomi nagata lovebot 🤍#1906 ) bc muse is there i just- feel a bit stuck writing wise
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