cryptidcaptain

[cryptidcaptain]

why do you hate swifties so much

because they aligned themselves with the treacherous count dooku

[cryptidcaptain]

yeah

[cryptidcaptain]

If I’m out / don’t have access to a charger and my phone dips below 25% I have to treat it like five nights at freddy I need to conserve this shif or im getting shoved into a murder fursuit

[cryptidcaptain]

Your straight male friends after two beers: "Hgey man can I smell your hair"

Your friend with the haunted shamisen: [plucks a baleful chord of ill portent]

[cryptidcaptain]

If your a pikmin just be careful ok

[cryptidcaptain]

i love having mutuals who are the authority on a specific fictional character

[cryptidcaptain]

#NOOO

[cryptidcaptain]

My words were spoken from a certain "delusional fag" persona I often inhabit.

[cryptidcaptain]

[cryptidcaptain]

any movie can be free if you know where to go

[cryptidcaptain]

by malezas777 (instagram)

song tattooed is crazy frog

#holy fuck it is

[cryptidcaptain]

#YES we watched some of these in year 7 english #incredible films love them

[cryptidcaptain]

miss my puter:((

#bg3 i need u #connor.txt

[cryptidcaptain]

faggot.com/careers

[cryptidcaptain]

Hey I saw you from across the bar but my girlfriend didn't. Are you some manner of spirit

#this is an incredible addition

[cryptidcaptain]

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

[cryptidcaptain]

if someone brought karl marx back to life the first thing I would do is have a shopping montage to get him modern outfits where I shake my head yes or no to the outfits he picks out but then after that we'd get down to serious business