Why do men have nipples?
it's not just human men, it's all placental mammals!
pour one out for all of the "I found this weird lump on my male cat's chest, what is it" posts on r/cats
the short answer is: because it's easier.
so, natural selection is lazy. it tends to take the quickest and easiest path to any given solution and can only work with what it already has, so it's really reluctant to drop traits that aren't actually hurting anything by being around! like male nipples.
and since male and female mammals in general start as the same weird little flesh tadpole thing and only start to diverge a couple months into development, it's waaaay easier to just leave male mammals with mostly non-functional nipples than it is to patch them out and maybe bork up something with the female nipples by mistake.
tldr: it's because evolution is naturally lazy.
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advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love
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I mean that about sums it up
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Beautiful men: I no longer need to be consoled. The uneven potatoes haven’t prevented my stew from fucking incredibly hard.
Beautiful men everywhere are patting me on the back and reassuring me that my cooking is still delicious despite my paralyzing fear of using vegetable peelers and my inability to cut them evenly.
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I was having sex with iTunes on shuffle and I came during "Best" from Mouth Silence.
having sex with iTunes
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I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think Kylie’s new legs are SO fun..”
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Beautiful men everywhere are patting me on the back and reassuring me that my cooking is still delicious despite my paralyzing fear of using vegetable peelers and my inability to cut them evenly.
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