corvixa

[corvixa]

I am alive! Long, rambly post ahead.

So. I did a thing. After 2 or 3 years on a waiting list of therapy, I got it. Good right? Ahuh...

A weekly appointment at 10.30 am is apparently my kryptonite.

It was fine at first, but I got utterly sidelined with the cumulative effect and the fact I wasn't able to reset my energy. But, I was determined like, I'd breakthrough.

Uh. That did not happen. All I could do was attend that appointment. For the first time since I started writing again post house explosion, I couldn't even write. I managed to not some ideas down. Carry on a few plots in my head. Still, even with my insomnia, I was stuck with my facemask on, desperately trying to get enough energy to eat, and occasionally failing even that.

After I had to take a break for a few weeks running for dental appointments and Covid Vaccines, I gained enough energy back to do that look around and reflect thing.

Hell, I might not have been perfect before this, but I enjoyed things. I chatted with friends. I lurked in the Stark Tower discord plotting new ideas. I got to write. I got to do real-world hobbies. I got to spend time awake with my partners!

So, after my vaccine and several days with a very high fever, I kind of decided. Fuck it. This isn't worth it. I have clawed my little part of this world out, and I am not going to lose it.

Sometimes you have to weigh up the cost-benefit analysis. What good may come from these 16 appointments was utterly stopper by the bomb dropped on my life. So I came out of my fever cave of blankets, had an incredibly hot bath and decided this wasn't working.

The early appointment alone was killing me; I am crepuscular by nature. Not being sarcastic there; this is how I have dealt with severe levels of insomnia since age 12. I tried being an average human that wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night for decades, and it didn't work. I am most active after 11 pm, and I nap during the day. It's not a perfect fix; if it were, the Gold series would literally not exist as that is my Insomnia in a cape. However, sleeping at least once in a 24 hour period nearly every day is THE WIN. Being not awake at 10.30 am, but already at an appointment, where I was expected to be coherent? Weekly? With no variable illnesses? Even the stint in hospital I had was around me making these appointments... Not getting better from fall.

Honestly, I have no idea what past me was thinking, but after they went to 2 or 3 appointments and didn't feel too bad, they committed hard to this course of action. That was a mistake that I thought I had learned a long time ago, that assessing the work-life balance is critical. This might not be work, but it was the same thing.

So, How am I doing? Better. Not aces, but the Covid fever of doom made me miss last weeks appointment. The week before, it was the Covid.2 Jab and today I had the dentist.

And this morning, before my dental appointment, I started writing. My partners were over the moon. I am not back on full capacitor yet, but I am clawing my way back. Heck, I felt alive enough to prat about in the garden as my partner wanted to take a few pics of me given my pairing of BRIGHT TOXIC GREEN tights and lace trousers. I realised I hadn't set foot in the garden since this therapy thing started. My dog, Loki, was bouncing around like a loon bringing me every stashed ball he could find.

If anything gives you clarity, it's the excitement of a collie confronted with man balls, your partner's joy at you starting something you love again and actually feeling like a human being.

Ness is calling the therapy people when she gets the social confidence points required to deal with bombing me out of this whilst being my stalwart wall, so I don't get bullied onto the phone (hello, Hemiplegic Migraine) or guilted back into just trying a few more sessions.

It's not like my therapist was bad. He was cool. He dealt with this ADHD, Autistic, Severe Insomniac, Asexual weirdo and never once questioned any of these identifiers. I just don't have the energy to do anything back to back, week after week, at 10.30 am—even fun things.

So, I am probably going to sleep a lot. I am not back to my previous form yet; my Hubs is saying I made it out of the cave, but I still have Palladium Poisoning because apparently, I have infected his brain to think of things in Iron Man metaphors.

This is a bit all over, but I felt like I wanted to get it down. Especially for anyone worried about my sudden absence.

TLDR, the road to hell is lined with good intentions; sometimes the good thing becomes the bad thing, sometimes you lose yourself trying to do things the right way, and everything ends up wrong. Sometimes the right thing is the thing people see as wrong. All I know is that I wrote something for the first time this morning because of insomnia, and I couldn't be happier. My mind is starting to pick up speed again, this dense dog of confusion, exhaustion and pain is clearing, and I have goals.

Which I think is what really matters, right?

Oh, side note, some things did get done whilst I was busy being a zombie. After nearly 3 decades of waiting, at 33 (yeah, I've wanted to change my name a long ass time.) I got my name changed! So I can sign this off in a way that makes me smile. I dropped my old first name, and took my first middle name as my new forname. (I was, and still am, one of those ginormous name people.) I also went back in history and timestoned my surname. (So, I was named utterly after my dad. Literally, I have the female version of his name >.< but I wanted to keep that connection to my genealogy whilst not having my dads name.) Boom.

Enjoy the earlier mentioned pictures of me pratting about in the garden. I am a photographer. I do not know how to pose. What you are seeing is sarcasm 😅. (If you want to know where the fabulous tights came from, Google Snag Tights. They are truly a miracle and a gift from the Gods. They have actual sizes and don't tear after one wear, even if you are more leg than human. So you stretch and destroy tights by walking.)

- Morgan / M-Mac-C

#easily excitable autistic woman #i am so tired #therapy #life kicked my ass #sleeping all the time is lonely as feck #name change #MMacC is the new me

[corvixa]

I'm not sure how much people can understand the weird hyper-focus my bring gets into when my insomnia gets turned up to 11! 😅

And the fact I pour all of this frame of mind into the Gold Universe. Where I will go over a chapter nearly a hundred-odd times. Where I plot things out way before they're even mentioned.

The series is born from a number of goals. Desires and Gold - the idea was that certain things would be undeniable, but I frequently cast doubt on it. A twist that is obvious but still has an element of surprise. (I think I managed that.)

For Silver? Again, a twist, but this time the goal was different. The idea was the first time you read, you are wondering. But if you read it a second time, suddenly there are tons and tons of what feels like really obvious hints xD

Now, im hoping you're all wonder what my overarching idea is for Ashes 😊

My health took a dip recently, which is why Ashes went from a 40k to 60k story to 100k, and I tried to work a few interesting lines into the story, bring more life to other characters now they're seen from the eyes of a different person. Telling a story from a person who knows their memories are shot was a fun challenge. I'm looking forward to what people think.

(And im hoping the app will let me read the asks I have received! Usually, it cuts off half of them >.<)

Chapter 2 is live! Oh, and what was your favourite insult the Harley comes up with xD

#easily excitable autistic woman #ashes #gold universe #insomnia wrote this #tony stark/bucky barnes #tony/bucky #not steve rogers friendly #Angst #So. Much. Angst.

[corvixa]

Ashes

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3uqEyYy

by Corvixa

In a way, he knew it was time to set things in motion.

In a way, he also knew that years of planning can fail.

Words: 12072, Chapters: 1/11, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of It’s All Gold

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Tony Stark, Harley Keener, James “Bucky” Barnes, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Pepper Potts, Sam Wilson (Marvel)

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Flashbacks, Hydra (Marvel), Amorality, OC-Dax, Songs, lyrics, Lost Memories, Hydra Experimental Asset Program, The Charnel House, OC-Snipe, Not Steve Friendly, Not Captain America Friendly, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony is Angry (At Steve), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Has Issues, Everyone Has Issues, fractured mind, Fragmented Thoughts

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3uqEyYy

[corvixa]

....... Yes

[corvixa]

[corvixa]

It's generally a thing that people, when faced with weapons, will pick them up and play with them. We have a weird mixed collection in our house..... (Which immediately makes my house sound weird, but it's not... (It kinda is.))

Anytime we move, movers eventually find the weapons. My husband collects historical recreations, (but he has a few not so good versions from his youth). My wife just likes to be different, so her favourite pieces are literally a war hammer and a scythe I bought her for Winter Solstice. (Yeah, Philly. Your house is definitely not weird.) At least my bow I generally not assembled unless I'm using it!

So, every move, it's pretty normal to walk in to see to movers poking each other with the unwrapped swords. Every. Move. It's hilarious. People like picking up and playing with weapons. Kt seems to be a weird human thing.

Even people who say they don't like weapons, eventually end up with something in their hands before leaving.

This might be where the Poly-Armoury jokes we get come from...

[corvixa]

We're up and running darlings!

So, so close to having the first chapter of Ashes up. I think I will wait until the morning to do the final formatting. Lest I fall asleep and accidentally delete half of it 😅. *Cue it's the Final Countdown*

(But with my headphones as both of my partners are snoring merrily behind me. The dog too. Even the cat is snoring where he is sleeping on my pillow. I have been kicked off, and I'm using husbands arm as a pillow.)

I did finally get to post the art at the end of Silver that I've been meaning to for ages! (So pretty) Also, I'm thinking, with Covid, I have actually managed to accrue a little savings.

So, if you're an artist that draws Marvel stuff, has commissions open and reads Gold, hit me up? (Or if you know someone, I could attempt to brave speaking.) Cause I kinda like the idea of adding a piece to the end of each chapter about the ending?

I say hit me up, because my crippling social anxiety immediately kicks in when faced with the option of contacting a person to commission things, 😅 even if that's the whole point. I know they want that, but my brain... My friend did everything to get the most recent artwork.

You'd think by age 33; I'd be able to contact people who desire said contact to offer funds for fantastic artwork 😅.

Anyway! Im going to attempt to get a few hours sleep, and then in the morning, posting time. Then I'm off to the dentist, which feels like my second home at this point. I will be attempting to do what I always do with the Gold Universe. Which is posting a chapter a day. However, this one is quite a bit larger than previous entries, and I do one last slow read, touch up, double spellcheck and Grammarly scan for luck, then I format in the box on Ao3. So I aim for 1 a day, but it might be every 2 days here and there, we'll see!

And here we have the almost final word count. Because I might add a little in the last go through.

Also, there was a scene I wanted in a chapter that I did not have space for. I am considering a one-shot to add this between 4 and 5. I actually like this idea of doing little (ha, this is me) one-shots, and I'm mulling the idea over 2 of them. This won't change the story format of the actual fics. They will always be 11 chapters long, and I am still planning 11 of them. I've already started writing #5 as my health and insomnia are still too tanked to write for Deaths Merchant.

Anyhow, this is you Gold Universe Update. Ooh. I'll add the Artwork too.

http://colonelrogers.tumblr.com

And for you lovelies that follow my weird rambling, I offer a song. It will feature in Ashes. So, if you want to hear one of the songs of Ashes before anyone else, here you go. Or if you want to save it until after you've read the first chapter where it is featured, you can do that too :)

#gold universe #Ashes #Sleep? I dont know her #tony stark/bucky barnes #easily excitable autistic woman

[corvixa]

I decided to be clever with my formatting, so it's taking longer 😅. I figure I can keep formatting at the dentist! However, have a picture of me! I feel semi alive after being in migraine hell for what feels like a month!

Loki actually posted this before I added the image 😅

You can't really tell, but my t-shirt has ratatoskr on. It is my favourite ADHD Squirrels on the brain shirt.

#easily excitable autistic woman #insomnia #picture of me! #Cambridge Masks are a life saver

[corvixa]

So, so close to having the first chapter of Ashes up. I think I will wait until the morning to do the final formatting. Lest I fall asleep and accidentally delete half of it 😅. *Cue it's the Final Countdown*

(But with my headphones as both of my partners are snoring merrily behind me. The dog too. Even the cat is snoring where he is sleeping on my pillow. I have been kicked off, and I'm using husbands arm as a pillow.)

I did finally get to post the art at the end of Silver that I've been meaning to for ages! (So pretty) Also, I'm thinking, with Covid, I have actually managed to accrue a little savings.

So, if you're an artist that draws Marvel stuff, has commissions open and reads Gold, hit me up? (Or if you know someone, I could attempt to brave speaking.) Cause I kinda like the idea of adding a piece to the end of each chapter about the ending?

I say hit me up, because my crippling social anxiety immediately kicks in when faced with the option of contacting a person to commission things, 😅 even if that's the whole point. I know they want that, but my brain... My friend did everything to get the most recent artwork.

You'd think by age 33; I'd be able to contact people who desire said contact to offer funds for fantastic artwork 😅.

Anyway! Im going to attempt to get a few hours sleep, and then in the morning, posting time. Then I'm off to the dentist, which feels like my second home at this point. I will be attempting to do what I always do with the Gold Universe. Which is posting a chapter a day. However, this one is quite a bit larger than previous entries, and I do one last slow read, touch up, double spellcheck and Grammarly scan for luck, then I format in the box on Ao3. So I aim for 1 a day, but it might be every 2 days here and there, we'll see!

And here we have the almost final word count. Because I might add a little in the last go through.

Also, there was a scene I wanted in a chapter that I did not have space for. I am considering a one-shot to add this between 4 and 5. I actually like this idea of doing little (ha, this is me) one-shots, and I'm mulling the idea over 2 of them. This won't change the story format of the actual fics. They will always be 11 chapters long, and I am still planning 11 of them. I've already started writing #5 as my health and insomnia are still too tanked to write for Deaths Merchant.

Anyhow, this is you Gold Universe Update. Ooh. I'll add the Artwork too.

http://colonelrogers.tumblr.com

And for you lovelies that follow my weird rambling, I offer a song. It will feature in Ashes. So, if you want to hear one of the songs of Ashes before anyone else, here you go. Or if you want to save it until after you've read the first chapter where it is featured, you can do that too :)

#tony stark/bucky barnes #gold universe #Ashes #Harley Keener #Story Updates #Sleep? I dont know her #easily excitable autistic woman #glitter & gold #insomnia wrote this #insomnia always writes Gold #Spotify

[corvixa]

Me when I started writing fanfic - Everything is going to be all nice and happy, because these characters have so much pain, so angst to happiness. FLUUUUFF

Me into the first fanfic - ah bollocks, I need to move this character to a different place. Huh, this will work... (Frostbitten, Chapter 19)

Commenters - *SCREAMING*

Me - ........ Huh. Okay. I liked that. NEW PLAN!

So. What I'm saying is... my fault when you lot read Gold #4. Does this count as foreshadowing?

[corvixa]

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[corvixa]

the whump fan’s dilemma

[corvixa]

how much time do you have?

#immediately sending this to both of my partners #cause Ive loved those bastards for decades #and I finally realised I was asexual barely months after we started dating #and somehow #they were cool with it #they did the research #i was freaking out #they were like #huh #you have a cool flag

[corvixa]

I tend to put my mask on, even though I'm unable to sleep, and then run various plot lines through my head to see how they play out. Then if one is good, jump to my phone to make notes, then begin again.

I also will then read and re-read and re-read and re-read, adding a little more each time. As each re-read reruns the scenes in my head and characters sometimes have additional things to say. This is why my fics get so long. I do this like 40 or 50 times per chapter. Sometimes more... I do this with plots and scenes that have nothing to do with my fics, because somehow the best way to plot is to do it indirectly on the back-tracks in my mind. If I focus entirely on a different story, suddenly ideas for my active fics will pop up semi-formed out of the ether.

Also, people talking about characters can spawn dialogue in my mind, which can spiral massively into plots. This is why I always encourage people talking to me about things. You give the squirrels in my brain red bull and fairy sticks.

It also means that when im trapped in a status migraine pit like I am now, I don't go insane from boredom. Because I can lie down for hours, testing and running different plot ideas, and technically I am resting!

[corvixa]

Can I request “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.” for WinterIron or FrostIron? Thank you! Love you!

💜 thank you for the prompt as always, Mar! much love! 

for this prompt meme. title from “Shelter” by Broken Bells. 

Fic: Until the Morning Comes

Bucky finds out Wanda volunteered for HYDRA. His confrontation with Steve over it doesn’t go well, leaving him with one person he can turn to for shelter.

When Bucky comes back to himself, the Winter Soldier sinking under the surface again, it takes a long moment for the enormity of his memories to come back – and they do, slamming into him with the force of a truck. He slumps back against the brick of the warehouse, trying to let the patter of rain on the cheap roof above calm his suddenly racing heart. 

He thinks, a little wildly, that his Accords-assigned therapy team is going to have a field day with this – his time in Wakanda may have scrubbed him of the triggers, but the Soldier is too much a part of Bucky to be completely washed away. These days, it takes a hell of a lot of stress to bring the Soldier out. 

Bucky knows why his other half took over, why he ran, but not why the Soldier brought him from the Compound back to New York City – this’ll be the first place Steve thinks to look for him. 

That rules out Natasha, too. He can’t predict her on the best of days and the last thing he wants right now is her ratting him out to Steve. Even the prospect of it causes prickles of discomfort – the Winter Soldier rousing with a murmur from his hindbrain that pegs the Black Widow’s volatility as a threat. Bucky breathes through it, lets that protective rage wash through him before it flows out and away. 

He has options. He can go on the run again – not ideal, not with the life he’s been trying to build as a legal citizen and an Avenger. His other option is to get help – and Bucky needs help from someone he knows is going to stand up to Steve; someone he can count on to, if not side with Bucky, then to at least listen to what he has to say. 

The Soldier anticipated what he’d need. When he searches the pockets of his dirty jeans he comes up with a cheap, black flip phone and a handful of crumpled dollar bills. He can only hope the phone was purchased somewhere instead of pickpocketed, even if Bucky knows he had no cash on him before the Soldier fled the Compound. It’s a simple matter to dial in the number Bucky’d memorized, even if he never thought he’d put it to use. The line, slightly staticy with bad reception, only rings once before FRIDAY’s cool voice answers: 

“Dr. Anthony Stark’s private line. To whom am I speaking?”  

“Uh, this is Buck- James Barnes.” 

There’s a pause, then the line clicks and just like that, Stark speaks.

“Barnes. You sound… cognizant.” 

Shit. 

“Steve already called you,” James realizes, heart sinking.

“Not so much, but FRIDAY is installed in the compound. I get alerts.” 

“Then you know why I had to leave.” That’s almost a relief – he won’t have to explain-

“See, not so much. No microphones or cameras in the bedrooms, remember? Whatever you and Steve get up to is your business until someone gets put through a wall.” Stark’s tone is mild, but Bucky can hear the strain in it. 

“Yeah, not my finest moment,” Bucky tries for levity, but it falls flat. “Look, I- the news was talking about the anti-Avengers protestors and they mentioned Maximoff. That she- did you know? That she was HYDRA?”

There’s silence from the other end, then a crackling over the line as Stark swears viciously for a long moment, then sighs. 

“I’m sorry, Barnes. I’d have told you if I thought for a second you didn’t know,” the man promises, sounding grim. Bucky feels something in the pit of his stomach unwind, startled to recognize relief – relief that at least one person in his life wasn’t purposely keeping him in the dark. He and Stark have only spoken a few times since they apologized to each other, but Bucky can admit to himself their sparse interactions have mostly been due to him avoiding Stark, still feeling awkward. He can’t afford to feel awkward now, has to move forward. 

Move on from Steve’s automatic defense of Maximoff, the claim that she’d been a kid who didn’t know what she’d been getting into. He’d felt the anger rising, and when Bucky made to leave before he lost his temper, Steve reached out to stop Bucky

The Soldier was the one who turned to meet him.

“Are you still there, snowflake?” Stark asks, and Bucky realizes he’s been silent too long. 

Bucky laughs at the question and the nickname both, and it’s too bitter with recent memories, but he can’t help it. 

“Yeah, still here. I just- it was too much to hope, wasn’t it. That there wasn’t one more thing Steve was keeping to himself.”

Stark snorts, tone wry, “Well, now we both know how that goes.” 

Such a blunt comparison should sting, but instead it emboldens him enough to blurt: 

“You don’t owe me anything, but I have a favor to ask.”

A pause, and even over the crappy connection he can hear the deep breath Stark takes. 

“Ask.” 

Bucky lets out a breath. “I need somewhere to hunker down a few days. It doesn’t need to be the Tower, just, if you could get me some breathing room…” he starts, but Stark interrupts.

“The Tower? Barnes, are you in the city right now?”

“...Yeah, yeah I am,” he admits. 

“You know what, I don’t want to know. Do you need- of course you do. I’m having FRIDAY triangulate your location. Stay there, I’m coming to get you.”

That makes Bucky sit up ramrod straight, mind skipping right over the why and you don’t need to that would be his automatic response in any other situation. “You flying around the warehouse district is going to attract attention,” he protests – every sighting of Iron Man eventually makes it to social media, and Natasha will be quick to pick up the trail of any unusual activity.

“Good thing I was planning to send a car then. No armor to sweep you off your feet this time,” Stark replies, and Bucky finds his mouth pulling into a smile against his will, unable to decide if the reference to their fight is in bad taste or not. 

“Okay,” he agrees, to both the car and the unspoken offer of help. Tension he’s been holding in his back finally unknots and Bucky climbs to his feet, metal hand against the brick to steady himself. “I’ll wait for you.” 

-

When he steps outside the warehouse to find a sleek black car idling in the rain, he only hesitates a moment before one of its tinted windows rolls down and he’s treated to Stark’s raised eyebrows. 

“Don’t just stand there getting soaked, Winter Wonder. Happy packed towels just for you.”  

The words are enough to jolt him forward, and Bucky opens the door and slides into the seat before his hesitation gets the better of him. He nods to the driver – the vaguely-familiar Happy looks surprised but nods back – and the Soldier in the back of his head takes in the man’s broad shoulders and the holster beneath his suit jacket and dismisses him as a threat in a single glance. Stark, on the other hand, stares at him for a long moment before he turns, gesturing Happy to drive. Somehow, he’s not a threat either, and Bucky finds himself relaxing back into the seat.  

The car is warm where the warehouse and outside are cold, and as good as his new arm is at not leeching heat and the serum never lets him be affected by the weather, he still prefers the warmth. Warmth is not the bunkers and labs and the Chair – warmth is the Wakandan sun on his face after the triggers are removed, the blankets of his bed in the Compound, Steve’s hand on his shoulder- 

Bucky shudders, and Stark must take that as a shiver because the man drops a large red and gold towel in his lap. 

“At least take care of your hair, you’re dripping on the upholstery,” Stark says, and when Bucky turns to look at him Stark has already turned back to his phone. 

“Thanks,” Bucky croaks, clearing his throat when that gets the man to meet his eyes. “For all this, I mean. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

Stark sighs and massages his brow, but shuts off his phone. “You’re not the trouble, Steve is. No one realized you didn’t know about Wanda.”

“I’m… not going to be taken off the team?” As far as he figures, throwing a teammate through a wall is probably an infraction of the rules of the Compound, if not his actual pardon. Hope is a weak thing when it blooms in his chest, and it wilts a little when Stark fixes him with an incredulous look. 

“You want to stay on his team?” To his credit, at least Stark’s tone is neutral, and that’s enough to make Bucky pause instead of giving voice to the automatic ‘of course!’ sitting on his tongue. 

The Accords Council allowed the rogues back with a full pardon in order to fight Thanos, but their pardons’ conditions placed their team under Carol Danvers’ command. Bucky hasn’t had any issues with Captain Marvel, but the Scarlet Witch is one of the heavy hitters on her team. Bucky won’t – can’t – work with someone who volunteered for the same organization that made him the Winter Soldier. He’ll never be able to trust her at his back again. 

Most of all, he doesn’t know if he can trust Steve; twice now he’s kept major secrets from the people he called his friends, and Bucky- Bucky remembers that Steve wasn’t always big on the whole truth, but he’d never lied to his friends, not before. 

He doesn’t feel like he even knows who Steve is anymore. 

“No,” Bucky finds himself saying. “I don’t think I want to.” 

Stark watches him, his gaze steady, almost reassuring. 

“I’ll make some calls in the morning then, see if we can’t swing a case for the Council. They’ll probably reassign you to Rhodey’s team.” 

The same team Stark himself works on. 

“Wait, in the morning?” The city is bright with lights under a black sky when he looks out the window, and Bucky suddenly realizes he has no idea what time it is.

“It’s around 3 a.m.,” Stark says before Bucky can pull his flip phone out to check. He holds up a hand when Bucky opens his mouth to apologize. “Don’t. I was awake and in my lab anyway, against FRIDAY’s advisement,” he adds with a quirk to his lips. 

The phone in the man’s hand lights up.

“You have a meeting with the board in six hours, boss. I just suggested that more sleep might make it easier to deal with them.” It’s the most Bucky’s ever heard the AI say in one go – and he’s never heard that playful, chiding tone either – he wonders if it’s reserved for her creator. 

Stark only shrugs. 

“With enough coffee I can run circles around them. And Happy is used to my weird requests at this stage.” There is a grumble from up front but their driver doesn’t otherwise protest. “Anyway, not the point! Don’t you worry, Barnes, we’ll get you squared away at the Tower until things are ironed out. Sound good?”

“Call me Bucky,” he says, instead of an affirmative, or a thank you, or any of the million better options that could come out of his mouth. Stark blinks, any surprise quickly wiped away by a small smile, more genuine that anything Bucky’s seen on the news or tabloid covers. 

“Well Bucky, I guess you can call me Tony,” he says, and offers a hand – his left, so when Bucky reaches out in return he has to shake it with his metal hand. Stark’s, no, Tony’s hand is warm and firm as it grips back unhesitatingly. They shake, then part, and Bucky finds himself missing the contact instantly. 

Nevertheless, it feels like a step in the right direction – towards safety – and that’s all Bucky can really ask for at the moment. 

[corvixa]

I've had a status migraine for like 5 or 6 days now. Maybe more, I'm not tracking time well.

This is what happens when my medication gets screwed up. I've not been able to write, barely been able to read and haven't been able to converse with anyone for nearly a damned week. All because I can't keep track of anything.

It isn't the worst migraine ever, my insides aren't acting up, and it isn't hitting so badly that I want to smash my head into a wall. But I can't sleep, only managing short naps after peak insomnia crashes. I haven't eaten real food in 2 days and barely managed a small meal 3 days ago. I've managed to force down a bite of something or other a few times a day, so there is that.

I have to keep my mask on a lot to regulate the pain.

Mostly, im annoyed. If I had had my Frova when this started, it wouldn't have lasted longer than 36 hours. Because even when Frova doesn't do exactly what I want, it does keep my migraines from reaching status level.

I'm not going to A&E. I refuse to let it get to that level.

I miss talking to people and having the brainpower to have a conversation. In a status migraine, the most I can do is this. A single post or message and then I can't track to reply or respond to people I message. Or I think I have, when I haven't. Or I obsess about how im failing as a friend by not replying.

I've been lying with my mask on for 5 hours utterly unable to sleep. The tracks in my brain are skipping, so I can't even plot stories properly because they're being interrupted!

Agh. Vent over. I return to my mask. Let's hope this migraine dies down soon.

[corvixa]

I've surprised a few people when I say I live in Nottingham and that I enjoy walking through Sherwood Forest. Many believed it was a fictional place. They then usually find it amusing that we have a statue of Robin Hood by the castle.

I wasn't born here, however, which is likely why I still am baffled when people call me 'duck'.

I moved around too much that I don't exactly have regional foibles or an accent that many can accurately place. Other than that very posh, with a welsh person hiding behind the garage to lob welshcakes at your head when im angry. I don't know why I sound posh, because I'm really not! I might record a video at some point to point out the ridiculous nature of my accent 😂.

South Wales + Birmingham = Posh English/Angry Welsh

mr darcy lived in derbyshire so he sounds like. lizzeh. ah lov yew moost ahhdentleh