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((shoutout to inhuman beauty paired with the most disturbing body horror you've ever witnessed — gotta be one of my favorite genders

love that shit

#((something something deeply contrasting ideas actually going hand-in-hand with one another #((but also how cú would fit in perfectly as some sort of cryptid in a horror movie #((........but also also gap moe- #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼

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:Absentmindedly pokes the open wound on Cú's abdomen:

||unprompted ask // always accepting

        “ Does it gross you out? ” The magus’ tone is teasing as always, only just an inkling of genuine curiosity hiding between the gentle cadence of his words. To call the wound ‘deep’ would be misleading to say the least — it’d be more appropriate to say it was a crater gradually stitching itself back together ( piece by piece ) until it could even resemble the former description.

        ‘ Disgusting, ’ he remembers another warrior of his land whispering under their breath at the sight.

        Injuries no matter how grave would always heal back over with nary a scar — and yet he found that man still looked at him with the same horrified expression even years later. It was interesting, honestly . . . the way the ‘beauty’ granted by his otherworldly blood was coveted only until it tipped the edge of ‘inhuman’ for most. Not all — but it always gave Cú pause to wonder which way someone’s opinions fell.

        “ Ah . . . I’ve had far worse, really. When I could still use the Ríastrad, it’d tear all my skin off and then mend itself back together afterwards. ” Cú seems to brag now, perhaps trying to tip Hyde over that same line of what was acceptable and what was monstrous. ‘ Could that even be done? ’, he wonders. Jekyll, maybe, but he found it hard to believe the Berserker would even care.

#((i know this was a shitpost but then suddenly it wasnt fdasdf #((also the way i assume its hyde cuz of the red eyes but also because i imagine henry just panicking instead- #☼words spoken in silver and flame //in character☼ #☼only seek what you can handle to know //ask☼ #darabeatha #//darabeath:jekyll / hyde #//body horror tw

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((it took a while but i finally got all those asks sent (or in the works in dms)!! ♡ it was nice to scratch that writing bug finally

#((lemme know if you asked for one and it didnt go through! #((i'll be happy to resend #((and im hoping to be here for replies this week!! #((but i'm playing by ear rn according to how busy work is and how my health is doin #((at the very least ya might see me lurkin ♡ #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼

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((aaaaa ;; hello hello o/

((i'm sorry for disappearing again. i'm really trying to work something out so its not as often or that i can at least be here more consistently... but thank you guys for being patient with me

((ANYWHOS im gonna send out those asks today i promised and tackle some replies too!! sorry for the delay! ilu all ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑

#((im hoping its a temporary thing with work demands #((but its evolved into 'skelly can do it. they dont have kids they have time :D' #((and i just really need to learn to set boundaries with my boss but klJSDLFSD #((im not at all confrontational 😭 #((AAAAA THATS ALL THE SELF PITY I HAVE THO #((HERE WE GO #((I MISS MY BOY #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼

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        YOU.

#((BETRAYED??? #((AFTER EVERYTHING??? #((JAIL #((JAIL FOR LIRI!!! #((cas is going to boop (noogie) protopup- #☼words spoken in silver and flame //in character☼ #☼i’ll set whoever i want on fire //crack☼ #((wHAT EVEN IS AN EVIL BOOP

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        Alright, that's it.

Say your last words —

#((checking my notifs as i get online like wAT- #((imagine cas picking up your muse and throwing them- #☼words spoken in silver and flame //in character☼ #☼i’ll set whoever i want on fire //crack☼ #((jk iM KIDDING-

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.

#((ok ok i've pushed my luck but i rly gotta sleep before work tomorrow >> #((i'll finish sending asks tomorrow and some messages too! #((and boops- #((everyone have a great timezone relevant night/day (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼

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@darabeatha asked:

Spiritually BOOPS u

        you fool. you absolute buffoon.

        you think you can challenge me in my own realm? you think you can rebel against my authority? you dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? you thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you.

        i didn’t want war. but i didn’t start it.

#((BOOPS YOU WITH MURDEROUS INTENT- #((jkldFJSLDF i have finally enabled boops tho 😌✨ #☼words spoken in silver and flame //in character☼ #☼i’ll set whoever i want on fire //crack☼ #☼only seek what you can handle to know //ask☼ #darabeatha

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happy bunny and trans visibility day 💖💖💖

here's a deco bunny redraw/edit of the boi —

#((ok ok now i can focus on asks and messages fr- #((im obsessed w/ this song rn and i just had to #((anyways it gives 'alone on a friday night? pathetic.' vibes #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼burn this //mun art☼ #//large image cw #//suggestive cw

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((lil inbox call while i answer messages and doodle...?

#((probably will be somethin short and sweet unless i think of somethin else #((multis plz specify <3 #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼

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((i'm back from visiting my sister for the holiday! gonna nap for maybe an hour or two (because big city traffic wears me out aaaaAAAAAAAA) but then i'll be over here to answer messages and things >> ✨

#((i see things in my inbox i wanna answer but also some drafts i've halfway finished #((at the very least tho i wanna send some asks so maybe i'll make an inbox call if i dont just impulsively send things out- #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼

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((And though I think it's a really neat detail for fate to interpret the Knights of the Red Branch's vow to die standing as a spell, Ath nGabla, it does kind of take away from the fact that it was a vow Cú took so seriously and literally that it was through strictly willpower that he did it >>

#((also also nasu and typemoon's back and forth about whether or not the celts or just cú used norse runes is just asdfasdf #((since Ath nGabla in fate uses algiz. nauthiz. ansuz. and inguz #((so does everyone in ireland know norse suddenly?? #((or is it just cú since he traveled scandinavia for a bit?? #((it really wouldn't be a such a big deal if fate would just let the celts have their own distinct magecraft!!! #((this isnt me being angry #((this is just me being sad we have no consistent lore for the celts in fate #((because they cant seem to decide whether or not they're the same as the norse 😩 #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼

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Aided Chon Culainn

        He doesn’t remember exactly —

        The field before him seemed to stretch indefinitely into a sea of red. Connacht, Leinster, and Munster . . . each of them had sent their finest warriors and now the Hound could only guess that about seventy percent of their forces lay drowned within its shallow depths. And it's here, pondering a landscape of his own making — here, while meeting the terrified gaze of their enemy leader that Cú Chulainn realizes . . . he doesn’t quite remember when ‘I’m okay with dying young’ became ‘I want to die young’.

        . . . And when did ‘I want to die young’ become ‘I want to die’?

        “Why won’t you die?” Lugaid rasped under his breath, flinching harshly when Cú's gaze darted back to meet theirs. A good question, honestly. The alliance of the three other provinces of Éire had conspired and succeeded in breaking every geasa he had. Succeeded in stripping him of every divine trait and talent. For all intents and purposes, the demigod had been rendered mortal . . . and yet here he still stood. Intestines pooled at his feet and bled dry.

        There’s still something to do, his heart reasoned as if that were explanation enough. He was content in knowing Finnscoth would be in good care . . . Conall always was a better father than he ever was after all. He was content in knowing Emer was safe; that the nightmare he was plagued with would never come true. And he was almost content with the idea of Ulster being safe without him . . . a majority of its enemies laid strewn at his feet at this very moment. So let’s say . . . ten percent? Cú smiled softly to himself.

        He’d need to stay standing just a bit longer. It takes some of his fading strength, but he manages to scrape his own guts from the ground to use as a makeshift rope. Little attention is paid towards Lugaid’s horrified expression as the Ulsterman secures himself to a rock with it. Disappointing, really. A warrior faced with his own mortally-wounded opponent and yet he was too scared of a living corpse to move. Pathetic.

        To think this is the man they insisted on giving his daughter’s hand to for a truce. ( Turned traitor now, no one would stop him for 'solving' this issue even if they could. )

        Oh yes, right . . . ten percent, though. He was confident whittling down the enemy’s numbers by that portion should leave a reasonable amount for Conall to clean up. The Hound knew from the moment the nightmares began, the moment the call of battle ate at him that he would not leave this battlefield alive. He knew Conall would never arrive on time and I hope you’ll know I forgive you, brother . . . and I’m sorry for the state you are sure to find me in. This was fate after all, one he embraced long ago. One he pulled closer, and closer, and closer . . .

        Ulster would be safe after this. Emer, Finnscoth, his foster mother and every dear friend . . . He did everything right, so don’t deny him this simple, selfish desire now. To never darken. To never fade. That wish to shine so brightly that he would outshine even the sun — and to be completely extinguished in the next instant, never to have to dim.

        Cú thinks he remembers when that vague distinction was made now — of how reckless, youthful abandon for the sake of fame became a quiet bid for rest. It was a gradual, creeping thing that followed longer than he could ever outwardly admit. It was heavy. He dragged it along with him every step even as both him and it grew. A constant companion of grief and fatigue that even his divine blood could not save him from — because he is human. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

        I’ll see you all soon, he thought as he readied his spear one last time. His childhood friends lost in a war he wasn’t ready to win by himself . . . every classmate that never made it to see the day he was bestowed their master’s spear . . . brothers-in-arm and friends alike, lost to time and war . . . Liath Macha . . . . . Láeg . . . . . . Ferdiad . . . . . . . . . . . Connla.

        Soon. Just wait. He had just one last thing to do.

#☼words spoken in silver and flame //in character☼ #☼fire is bright; fire is clean //drabble☼ #//body horror tw #//suicide ideation tw #//suicide idealization tw #//ask to tag tw #//long post cw #((daytime reblog because maybe i'm just a lil proud of this ;; #((aside parts of the internal monologue and lugaid's dialogue being my own creative analysis and take of the myth #((the events are all true and canon to cú's last stand #((its a drabble thats been on my mind a long time and im finally able to put it into words even if #((i definitely think i could improve some things asdjfa

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((Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd, just because i want to leave something here on a happier note — plz know Cú's love language includes baking and he will suffocate your muse with treats if he cares about them enough

((very much 'have you eaten? you don't look like you've eaten. here — don't argue i swear —'

#((HELLO SORRY TO JSUT DROP THAT AND DISAPPEAR AGAIN #((I WAS CONSUMED WITH THE INSPO #((BUT MY SISTER SAID AS SOON AS I GOT FREE TIME AGAIN I HAD TO RUN DUNGEONS WITH HER FF14 #((RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK SHE'S THREATENING TO KILL ME IF DONT FINISH WRITING #((I HAVE A LONG WEEKEND SO I PROMISE I'LL BE BACK TO ANSWER MESSAGES AND CHAT AND WRITE AND ALL THE FUN THINGS SOON #((ASSUMING SHE DOESNT KILL ME #((I LOVE YOU ALL LOTS SEE YOU SOON ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼the light of a star; the light of the sun //headcanons☼

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Aided Chon Culainn

        He doesn’t remember exactly —

        The field before him seemed to stretch indefinitely into a sea of red. Connacht, Leinster, and Munster . . . each of them had sent their finest warriors and now the Hound could only guess that about seventy percent of their forces lay drowned within its shallow depths. And it's here, pondering a landscape of his own making — here, while meeting the terrified gaze of their enemy leader that Cú Chulainn realizes . . . he doesn’t quite remember when ‘I’m okay with dying young’ became ‘I want to die young’.

        . . . And when did ‘I want to die young’ become ‘I want to die’?

        “Why won’t you die?” Lugaid rasped under his breath, flinching harshly when Cú's gaze darted back to meet theirs. A good question, honestly. The alliance of the three other provinces of Éire had conspired and succeeded in breaking every geasa he had. Succeeded in stripping him of every divine trait and talent. For all intents and purposes, the demigod had been rendered mortal . . . and yet here he still stood. Intestines pooled at his feet and bled dry.

        There’s still something to do, his heart reasoned as if that were explanation enough. He was content in knowing Finnscoth would be in good care . . . Conall always was a better father than he ever was after all. He was content in knowing Emer was safe; that the nightmare he was plagued with would never come true. And he was almost content with the idea of Ulster being safe without him . . . a majority of its enemies laid strewn at his feet at this very moment. So let’s say . . . ten percent? Cú smiled softly to himself.

        He’d need to stay standing just a bit longer. It takes some of his fading strength, but he manages to scrape his own guts from the ground to use as a makeshift rope. Little attention is paid towards Lugaid’s horrified expression as the Ulsterman secures himself to a rock with it. Disappointing, really. A warrior faced with his own mortally-wounded opponent and yet he was too scared of a living corpse to move. Pathetic.

        To think this is the man they insisted on giving his daughter’s hand to for a truce. ( Turned traitor now, no one would stop him for 'solving' this issue even if they could. )

        Oh yes, right . . . ten percent, though. He was confident whittling down the enemy’s numbers by that portion should leave a reasonable amount for Conall to clean up. The Hound knew from the moment the nightmares began, the moment the call of battle ate at him that he would not leave this battlefield alive. He knew Conall would never arrive on time and I hope you’ll know I forgive you, brother . . . and I’m sorry for the state you are sure to find me in. This was fate after all, one he embraced long ago. One he pulled closer, and closer, and closer . . .

        Ulster would be safe after this. Emer, Finnscoth, his foster mother and every dear friend . . . He did everything right, so don’t deny him this simple, selfish desire now. To never darken. To never fade. That wish to shine so brightly that he would outshine even the sun — and to be completely extinguished in the next instant, never to have to dim.

        Cú thinks he remembers when that vague distinction was made now — of how reckless, youthful abandon for the sake of fame became a quiet bid for rest. It was a gradual, creeping thing that followed longer than he could ever outwardly admit. It was heavy. He dragged it along with him every step even as both him and it grew. A constant companion of grief and fatigue that even his divine blood could not save him from — because he is human. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

        I’ll see you all soon, he thought as he readied his spear one last time. His childhood friends lost in a war he wasn’t ready to win by himself . . . every classmate that never made it to see the day he was bestowed their master’s spear . . . brothers-in-arm and friends alike, lost to time and war . . . Liath Macha . . . . . Láeg . . . . . . Ferdiad . . . . . . . . . . . Connla.

        Soon. Just wait. He had just one last thing to do.

#☼words spoken in silver and flame //in character☼ #☼fire is bright; fire is clean //drabble☼ #//body horror tw #//suicide ideation tw #//suicide idealization tw #//ask to tag and please read at your own discretion #(('aided con culainn' is usually translated as 'the violent death of cú chulainn' #((a part (the last part) of cú's myth that is very important to me and to this blog #((i write caster cú specifically as the extension. continuation. and answer to cú's character arc in hollow ataraxia #((so ofc i feel it necessary to expand upon cú's thoughts and motivations in his final moments #((as much flack as i give fate for their interpretation. i also have so much praise especially for /most/ of nasu's writing #((his choice of cú chulainn specifically as a foil for archer (and by extension shirou) really is perfect in highlighting #((the key points of their character arcs. the similarities and the stark contrasts #((there's something to be said about cú's pride in his choices and his death #((but also something to be appreciated still in archer's (kinda rightful) criticism in that same pride #((challenging it more as romanticism than anything else #((a parallel for shirou's own romanticism of heroism and self sacrifice as actually a lack of selfworth #((and how that's paralleled again in fgo's arcade event (WHICH YES ITS GOOD AND ILL MAKE A POST ONE DAY RANTING ABOUT IT) #(((ITS SO GOOD???) but with setanta's much different horrified reaction in knowing the result of his chosen path #((these two ideas can coexist #((pride in your actions and a refusal to hold on to regrets #((but also the very real and human experience of trauma and how it catches up to you

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((i am back and though i don't have any pictures worth showing (i got there too late to see the highland games) I DID get a replica sgian dubh

((i rly would've liked to get an authentic one but there really werent any blacksmithing vendors aside a demonstration going on oTL

note: sgian dubh are little daggers you keep in your stockings when you're wearing a kilt. more a decorative tradition now but traditionally its been used same way how people keep pocket knives around for lil things now

#((honestly my fault for waiting until i finished all my errands before going 😭 #((gonna go a lot earlier tomorrow though so here's hoping more vendors will be open and i'll get to take pics of the games and music #((sdfasd for now tho gonna try to get caught up on messages- #☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼ #//large image cw

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((sorry for my silence this past week!! work's been busy as usual of course. and this weekend is the local celtic festival in my town so i'll probably be on late tonight when i get back >> (i'll try to take lots of pictures-)

((but yes yes thank you for your patience! i'll get to messages and such when i return （●´∀｀）ノ♡

#☼dawn has yet to break //out of character☼ #☼only ashes remain //delete☼