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#okay i absolutely love this #i think im going to choose to memorize a poem #let me know what y'all choose! #reblog #new years resolution #intentions

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i started taking film pictures again :-) 

all on portra 400

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Can you explain this gap in your blog history

#lmaooo no i cannot

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you think you’re waiting for love to find you when in reality it has saved you in a thousand different ways since the sun rose today

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horror of being perceived vs desire to be adored

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i love tumblr because there's always someone who knows how to express what i feel better than me

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08.08.23

i've had this post in my drafts since june lol anyways heres a photo of me probably struggling to grasp onto tudors content

#studyspo

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Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

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Same prof called me again a couple of nights ago, I’m feeling much the same, and she once again gave me so much love and support. Caring educators do so much y’all.

One thing I’m so incredibly grateful for that came from my undergrad experience is the lasting relationships I created with professors. One of my professors, who has now turned into a friend, called me tonight just to talk for an hour. I’m at a weird in between place in my life right now, and I feel a little lost and dejected. I couldn’t even tell you how many times that woman told me she was proud of me. It meant the world.

Cheers to the profs that care

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02.08.23

I studied for 6 hours today. It feels so good to study. I wish for academia to take over my life and consume me. I want to be a workaholic.

#reblog #studyspo

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Update 2/25/23 *long post warning*

So far, I've heard back from two of the grad schools I applied to. I was denied by both in the same day-- it hit me pretty hard. I have yet to hear from two more schools, but I'm feeling extremely discouraged.

In other news, I finally paid for my teaching license, so I am certified to teach English 6-12! It's nice finally having the money to say I am licensed.

With my confidence a little wounded, I'm taking this opportunity to reevaluate. As it stands, I don't think grad school is in the cards for me for fall of 2023. That begs the question.. what is?

I've kept in touch with several of my professors, whom I now consider friends. One of my professors, informed me about a position opening at my alma mater in the office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. In this position, I believe I would still be some kind of teacher, but I would be going around to local secondary schools (including the one I student taught at) and assisting students from a variety of backgrounds to adjust to and feel comfortable and successful in a school environment. This possibility actually greatly excites me. I really miss my college town, my life, and my friends-- some of whom are still in town there. I also love the idea of getting to work with students, make meaningful connections, while also not having my own classroom to be in and manage 24/7. This feels like a solid compromise to me.

While that position is exciting, nothing is certain right now. Additionally, I am also starting to explore other degrees I could potentially pursue, which is daunting after being stuck on an English PhD for so long.

If you stuck around this long, thanks for listening. I feel like I've hit a crucial crossroads in my life, and I'm trying to be excited for whatever is coming ahead. Sending all the good vibes to y'all <3

#college #university #gradblr #studyblr #phdblr #mine #random ramblings #life update #studyblr community #teaching #education #english #phd #grad school

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#bro this was so real during the grad school application process

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misc studies from pride & prejudice

#art #pride and prejudice #jane austen

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Reblog if you think public libraries are important and should be maintained.

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“She had made a strong, cruel move towards freeing herself. But having more freedom she only became more profoundly aware of the big want. She wanted so many things. She wanted to read great, beautiful books, and be rich with them; she wanted to see beautiful things, and have the joy of them for ever; she wanted to know big, free people; and there remained always the want she could put no name to.”

— D.H. Lawrence, The Rainbow

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i might do a longer post on this at some point but my biggest recs for people who want to read more are

1) try every medium you can (digital, print, audio, etc) and embrace whatever brings you most joy and understanding

2) throw out quantity-focused expectations and focus on quality, not in the sense of the "finest" literature but instead what feels most emotionally resonant, necessary, impactful, and interesting to you at this moment in your journey

3) remember you can reread as much as you want, whenever you want, and you are not obligated to understand anything the first time. the beautiful think about books is that they will be there with you whenever you want to enjoy their company again.

#resources #reblog #👀👀

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