coffee-rain-music - Tumblr blog

coffee-rain-music · 11 months

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i saw a leaf flutter down in the rain. it started out slowly, but came and spiralled and struck the ground violently. it was tiny. it stuck to the wet ground, but it seemed as if it were trying to break free. held against its will. i wondered what would happen to it. i thought, at first, it might be stuck there forever. but it wouldn't be. even if it seemed like that at the moment. the rain would stop, the ground would dry, and eventually, the leaf would too. all the nature around me, but i couldn't look at anything but the leaf. it was stretching, aching, to get out of there. the water wouldn't let it. it is strange how something that gives you life can drown you that way. snuff out your life if it wanted to. i was captivated. i didn't think the leaf would know it would dry out. i didn't know what would happen when it did. it could go anywhere, but perhaps where it lands up wouldn't be in anyone's control. it could float on the wind for days. it could land softly on another tree. it could end up in a drain. or perhaps someone else would notice the tiny leaf, and take it in, and marvel at its beauty. like i had done to so many others. if that happens, i thought of how i would be connected to that person. connected by thought. by the sheer mightiness and beauty of it all. we would share a bond, even if they didn't know it. it made me think of how vast and tiny nature could be at the same time. my thoughts felt almost inconsequential, but also like they were the most meaningful thing in the world. it made me think. everything made me think.

#writing #spilled ink #words #thoughts #nature

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coffee-rain-music · 1 year

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i grew up watching my parents

who grew up watching my grandparents

and now i live with them all and see

maybe that's why love has no meaning for me

#writing #broken family #bitter #spilled ink #exhausted #love #empty inside #midnight thoughts #im tired #it hurts #i cant sleep #pain #emotion

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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rage. misunderstandings.

suppression. manipulation.

a broken family. a perfect facade.

#exhausted #broken family #empty inside #spilled ink #midnight thoughts #words #ache #dark souls #darkness #writing #it hurts #facade #im tired #pain #i cant sleep #struggle #bitter #emotion

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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isn't it haunting? when you fall so deep down the rabbit hole, even a droplet of rain cannot reach you. when you live the same hell in your nightmares, always. when the lines of reality blur; and you're left lost, forlorn and exhausted. yet again.

when you have no respite, even in your dreams.

#nightmare #spilled ink #dark souls #empty inside #writing #emotions #midnight thoughts #deep thoughts #it hurts #excerpt from a book i'll never write #pain #words #exhausted #scared #ache #i cant sleep #darkness #night #chaos

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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sometimes the only times you feel alive are at 3 a.m. on the bathroom floor; with tear streaks running down your cheeks, and pain and emptiness embedded deep within your sunken, tired eyes.

#empty inside #emotion #spilled ink #midnight thoughts #writing #dark souls #deep thoughts #thoughts #3am thoughts #excerpt from a book i'll never write #words #i cant sleep

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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your own self not in your control. your body and mind surrendered to another; with no say of yours. you stand there, more scared than you have ever been.

their estranged figure looming, haunting, haunting.

your screams not being heard. your body frozen up in shock.

the surroundings a blurry detail.

not enough oxygen, and yet, too much.

your mind a confused haze.

you want it to stop. it won't.

#tw harrassment #tw sexual harrassment #spilled ink #empty inside #scared #i cant sleep

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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and what do you do in that moment? that moment where your entire world turns upside down and everything familiar to you is torn apart right from its roots? when your lungs stop working and your horrendous heartbeat is all you can hear. when everything feels surreal, and you hope that you'll wake up tomorrow just fine because this has to be a dream. when everything is numb. when you are a stranger to yourself.

what do you do in that moment?

#emotions #empty inside #midnight thoughts #spilled ink #writing #dark souls #deep thoughts #thoughts #excerpt from a book i'll never write #raw emotion #words #i cant sleep #moment #numb #3am thoughts

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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coffee, water, wine.

the taste of bitter love; habits that destroy you.

all so different, and yet, just the same.

they'll all burn down your throat

still leave you wanting more.

#spilled ink #writing #bitter #emotions #devastating #excerpt from a book i'll never write #empty inside #pain #midnight thoughts #darkness

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coffee-rain-music · 2 years

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dangling your legs in the water just a little longer. holding on to a bewitching memory just a little longer. lingering at the end of a conversation just a little longer. clinging on to a devastatingly beautiful hug

just

a little longer

#midnight thoughts #beauty but pain #spilled ink #emotion #excerpt from a book i'll never write #memories #sorrow #the painful passing of time #nostalgia #writing #hugs

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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that was the way she felt; either all at once, or nothing at all.

#deep thoughts #3am thoughts #emotions #feelings #thoughts #raw emotion #midnight thoughts #empty inside #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writing #words #hurt #dark souls #spilled ink #i cant sleep #scared #deep thinking

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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there was her, and her prison of a mind. maybe they were one and the same; she did not know. rough nails, flitting eyes, the constant trying of finding a way to escape. invisible, yet present in the moment. just a dump of broken promises, yet so much more than that. screams that were as quiet as a whisper. it hurt. it hurt. it hurt.

#midnight thoughts #pain #emotions #deep thoughts #sad #thoughts #random thoughts #3am thoughts #writing #words #mind #hurt #excerpt from a book i'll never write #empty inside #spilled ink #darkness #dark souls #raw emotion #i cant sleep

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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oh, how you haunt me

#midnight thoughts #pain #emotions #sad #raw emotion #haunt #writing #random thoughts #scars #spilled ink #excerpt from a book i'll never write #words #3am thoughts #empty inside #lost love #deep thoughts #thoughts

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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what do you do when you fall in love with someone's façade?

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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"i want pain on my fingertips,

i want it loud.

i want it screaming in my ears,

until it drowns me out."

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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im alright. im alright. im alright.

repeated with such fervour, almost as a chant.

in the end, who was she convincing?

the others, or herself?

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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"can anything camouflage this dull ache of existence?"

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coffee-rain-music · 3 years

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perfect is a word i've come to despise. a social construct that does nothing but limit. it takes you somewhere you can never be yourself. always striving to go and fit into that tiny hole up there, when you are so much more than that. when you can engulf that hole and spread extraordinarily beyond that. when you can be infinite.

perfect is what limits us, because we are so much more than that.

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