closerwearetodanger

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redrew my favourite real and canon scene

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"What the SHIT are you doing?" 😃

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everything’s changed but nothing’s new

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Clingy pads uwu

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Sirius: The hardcore way to eat ramen- 1. Boil water, 2. Eat block of ramen, 3. Drink boiled water, 4. Snort flavoured powder, 5. Fuck bitches.

Remus: … I can’t know you anymore.

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After Remus pets another dog and Sirius sees it

Remus: I feel terrible, I really do.

Sirius: Oh, I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

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sirius black: imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, escaped to go commit that crime as fast as possible

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When I’m dead I want JK Rowling to lower my coffin into the ground so she can let me down one last time

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the ministry: *finds a solo finger on the road*

the ministry: well he must have just. exploded idk.

the ministry: *sees voldemort disappear*

the ministry: well he must be. gone for good i guess.

the ministry: *overhears lucius malfoy talking loudly about the heir of slytherin*

the ministry: SHIT MUST BE THAT GIANT FUCKER THAT WE PROSECUTED BASED ON THE WORD OF SOMEONE WE NOW KNOW IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF EVIL! LET’S LOCK HIM UP

someone: hey so voldemort’s back, he’s literally out there killing people and putting the dark mark everywhere

the ministry: …naaaaah

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Ron just got his howler from his mom yelling at him for stealing the car. He seems super embarrassed and most of the Great Hall is laughing. But here’s the thing:

Ron is 12 years old.

Ron stole a car.

Ron fucking stole a fucking car at the age of TWELVE.

I would not be laughing at him. Ronald Weasley is a fucking bad ass. When was the last time you jacked a car Malfoy? That’s what I thought. Bitch.

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I’m still not over the fact that Hermione Jean Granger managed to snag a famous international quidditch star as her date to the yule ball like. This is the FUNNIEST SHIT. Hermione isn’t even into quidditch. She didn’t even do anything. Viktor Krum just fell for this 15 year old muggle-born girl who spends all her spare time in the library and had never heard of the most famous quidditch player in the world before her best friends took her to the world cup. AMAZING.

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Harry: Why are we lying on the ground?

Ron: Your scar started to hurt and you fainted so Hermione and I lay down next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin’.

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JKR said that Hagrid still works at Hogwarts in 2017, which means he’s still been alive these past few decades, and I just really hope someone took him to see How to Train Your Dragon.

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The social politics of Harry Potter are just so fucking unexplored.  Like we know that werewolves are Bad.  They can’t get jobs and there’s a huge stigma about them.  What about werewolves that are hiding?  Werewolves that never went to the hospital and either learn to brew wolfsbane or don’t use it in an effort to hide their condition?  Werewolves that make money on their own like through starting up small businesses or writing or art?  Allies like Dumbledore who hire werewolves anyway?  Is there Werewolf pride beyond the violent form of it we see with Fenrir Greyback’s pack?  If it’s so difficult for werewolves to go to school, are there then werewolf schools started by werewolves run by werewolves?  Are there werewolf communities?  What are attitudes towards werewolves in other countries?

And VEELA HOLY SHIT.  Veela are Good, but only because they’re totally sexualized.  Like for real do you think Veela can get jobs in politics?  Around children?  Just casually in the community, following their Mom-and-Pop shop diner dreams?  You think conservative folks won’t glare them down?  We know all those attracted to them don’t take them seriously, because they apparently put a spell on them with their presence.  Like JESUS FUCK on that alone how many Veela do you think get victim blamed?  

Another thing is metamorphmargi - THEY must get sexualized like whoa too, but probably as a kinky thing.  And Tonks is never described with sexually loaded text the way Fleur is.  Does she desexualize herself on purpose?  Because that really doesn’t seem too out there.  Does she know other metamorphmargi?  Is it a no-no in morph society to make yourself look traditionally attractive?  How difficult do you think it must be for her and others like her to date?  Like it’s probably so difficult to know whether she’s being loved or being fetishized.  And FUCKING HELL GENDER.  I want more about what gender is to metamorphmargi.  

Fucking giants too.  Hagrid is always seen as really sweet and good but also pretty unintelligent.  Madame Maxime did NOT want to be associated with giants.  The giants hate all humans.  Humans are contemptuous about giants, especially, it seems, upper-class wizarding society.  Umbridge hates all overlap with humans.  Unbridge hates mermaids.  Are there mermaids that participate in wizarding society?  How is that for them?  Are mermaids primates?  Did wizards come from the ocean?  Are wizards NOT DESCENDANTS OF CRO-MAGNONS??  Are centaurs primates?

There’s lots of hatred against muggle borns.  We know all about that, kind of.  We also know that (while there are so few PoC in Harry Potter at all) there are PoC elitist pureblood families.  Is there racism in the wizarding society?  Is there not racism?  Is there homophbia?  Is there sexism?  Is the prejudice in muggle society used to justify the prejudice in wizarding society?  There seems to be an assumption that muggles are stupid.  Is this part of why?

WHAT IS THIS WORLD

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Headcanon that Sirius spent four months trying to make a gigantic chocolate frog for Remus birthday, but on the big day when Sirius showed Remus his present in the courtyard the frog simply leapt away. Every now and then there’s stories about gigantic frog sightings in Scottland. James has made scrapbook with all articles about it, just to be annoying.