clarafordahwin

[clarafordahwin]

in 2015 I needed a job really bad for reasons not worth getting into. i was living in ohio for like 6 months & i just applied at every place within a 30 minute drive from me and i got a call from the local Game Stop mere minutes after submitting the online app, which was obviously a red flag but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.

so they tell me when to show up for orientation & I get there the day-of but the store is closed & locked. i text the manager & he says back “oh yeah. i manage two Game Stops and open them alternate days.”

apparently the Game Stop I originally applied to is open Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and the other one is open Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays.

They’re 15 minutes apart. I don’t ask whether it would make sense to just have one store locally that is open daily, bc maybe the guy knows something I don’t.

So I get to the other Game Stop and walk in and it seems like there’s no one working there. There’s just a single woman in there wearing an ankle length leather trench coat. She didn’t greet me when I came in & she’s just browsing.

After ten minutes I ask her if she’s seen any employees and she’s like “oh I’m an employee.” She’s not wearing a name tag on the trench coat.

I tell her I’m here for training and she tells me the manager hasn’t come in yet. “he falls asleep playing xbox all the time but if he’s on live we can try pinging him to wake him up.”

I play Xbox and that absolutely doesn’t sound like a thing you can do in the way she’s describing it but once again maybe she knows something I don’t.

I ask if we have an Xbox that we can use to “ping” him and she says “yeah the one in the back we play on.”

She has an English accent by the way, a very specific & posh one which usually wouldn’t be relevant but we’ll get there.

So before she leads me to the Xbox-in-the-back she goes “oh damn. our internet has actually been down all morning, I forgot. We need to call the provider and have them come out and fix it. Can you do that?”

Can I call an unnamed internet provider and schedule them to come do service at a business where I don’t even technically work yet? Idk. She gives me their number and I call them and they put me on hold.

People are walking in and she’s not greeting them. She keeps browsing and people assume like I did that she’s another customer so they’re coming up to the counter where I’m on hold to ask me for help, and then I have to say I can’t help them and to ask the woman in the trenchcoat, and then she says “we can’t sell you anything. internet’s down.”

this goes on for 30 minutes and every time the store is empty she’s chatting at me and I’m on hold and then a man walks in the door and he says “sorry I fell asleep on live again haahaahaa” so this is the manager and the minute she starts speaking to him she no longer has an English accent which has me confused because it did not sound fake.

It was regionally specific and very natural.

the manager asks what I’m doing and I say I’m on hold with the internet provider and he gives me a thumbs up and walks to the back.

so I ask how long she’s lived in the U.S. and say I’m always interested in the way people can sometimes go in and out of accents and she says “oh I’m American. he asked me to stop doing the accent so I only do it when he’s not here.”

Suddenly I wonder what I’m doing here and I tell her I need to leave and I give no excuse but at this point I don’t feel like I need one? She said okay! See you later.

The manager didn’t contact me and that night I got offered some other retail job I jumped on.

Three months later the Game Stop manager texts me and asks if I can cover a shift in an hour and I say back “I don’t think I work there? I left an hour into my training. And we never spoke again.” And he texts back “hahahaha right on.”

And you may think wow, what a strange experience that all was but recently I have spoken to friends who did work at Game Stop and when I tell them this story they don’t even blink. Nothing I say surprises them. I was at the average Game Stop

[clarafordahwin]

#q

[clarafordahwin]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[clarafordahwin]

Heyyyy. Did you know I'm dating the most amazing woman in the whole world? 🥰

#i told her already but she's asleep right now #shut up clark

[clarafordahwin]

im noticing that for a lot of americans “free palestine” has been an ideological motto and symbol rather than them actually believing in their heart that freedom is attainable and necessary

[clarafordahwin]

Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

[clarafordahwin]

new poll. are you going to marry a passionate antistratfordian who nonetheless loves the works, or someone who doesn't like shakespeare at all but understands he was real

#i mean i do shakespeare. so my instinct is antistratfordian. so they will enjoy coming to my shows. #but then i imagine them loudly talking to all my shakespeare peers about their conspiracy theories #:(

[clarafordahwin]

new poll. are you going to marry a passionate antistratfordian who nonetheless loves the works, or someone who doesn't like shakespeare at all but understands he was real

#i mean i do shakespeare. so my instinct is antistratfordian. so they will enjoy coming to my shows. #but then i imagine them loudly talking to all my shakespeare peers about their conspiracy theories #:(

[clarafordahwin]

there sure is just a whole type of guy out there huh

[clarafordahwin]

If Anthy ever did successfully grow weed as in the one jokepost whats the overunder on "time until a scaredweed brownie is in Nanami's hand". Whats the TTK.

negative 5 minutes, she would find the brownie before anthy ever even started growing it

the episode would open up on nanami finding a brownie left on her bedside table. she would go "oh that's so thoughtful of my brother!" and eat it and would immediately start getting scared. she'd go out and ask touga what was up and he'd say "that's normal womanly emotions, stop being such a woman" so she'd assume she was weird for not having been constantly scary high her entire life. she would chat with miki and juri at different points. juri would recognize she was high and give some recommendations nanami would completely misunderstand, miki would just think she had a cold and would freak her out even more. around the halfway mark utena would ask anthy what the new plant she was growing was and anthy would say "grass" as she watered the lawn and utena would go "no i meant... never mind" as nanami walked up to them. anthy would start winding nanami up even more than usual and utena would assume she was planning something. by the end she would have started to blame the brownie but for some completely erroneous reason and would say utena definitely planted the brownie before saionji said something that made her think he was responsible. the episode would end with anthy offering freshly baked brownies to the whole student council and smiling, saionji would be the first to bite and would immediately go fucking nuts

is this pretty much just "nanamis egg but with her getting high"? yeah, but i stand by it

#rgu

[clarafordahwin]

this is the first song i ever wrote. i started writing songs after high school which is late compared to my band friends, i was living in Turkey it was morning and i was still fucking drunk, idk why but i sat at the keyboard and started writing this, and by the time it was done my heart was pounding like i just saw the rest of my life. i was fucking doomed. anyway, happy monday, fam. kill this week.

[clarafordahwin]

new poll. are you going to marry a passionate antistratfordian who nonetheless loves the works, or someone who doesn't like shakespeare at all but understands he was real

[clarafordahwin]

anothermag

#q

[clarafordahwin]

if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes

#the one time i tried to iron something i think i just made the wrinkles permanent

[clarafordahwin]

redesign for lesbian visibility week 🩷🧸🫶

click for quality (my shop) (instagram) (tip me) (shirts)

[clarafordahwin]

[clarafordahwin]

the usamerican medical system is such a joke. i went to urgent care and the doctor just wrote "over the pants handy in jeans" on the prescription pad without even telling me if i'm supposed to be giving or receiving