ckyunwon

[ckyunwon]

hi can i pls ask an ignorant question? if bi means being attracted to all the genders, what's the difference between that and pan? sorry if the answer's really obvious i know nothing lol

Hi so, honestly, there isnt a difference between bi and pan, bi is attraction to all genders, we have two labels that describe the same orientation.

Basically, the pan label was popularised online in the early 2000s. at the time there was a pervasive idea tht bisexuals were only attracted to cis men and women. This is from the first post on the 2002 Livejournal community, I Am Pansexual:

“… [T]his community is for pansexuals, as described in the user info. Pansexuals love people of all genders, male and female, but unlike bisexuals, pansexuals love transgendered, androgynous and gender fluid people, people who don’t fit into the categories of male or female.”

you can find the source for that quote and read more info on the history of pansexuality here. Those who IDed with the pan label back then used pan to mean attraction to cis men, cis women, and trans people. This definition is transphobic, trans men and women arent different genders to cis men and women and therefore, they dont fall under a separate attraction, nonbinary people arent a new third gender that you need a whole new and different sexuality in order to be attracted to. This is generally what people are referring to when they say the pansexual label has transphobic origins, but there have also been several redefinitions of pan that have also been transphobic.

I reccomend watching this youtube video which addresses the narrative that bi activism has a history of ‘rampant transphobia’.

Since 2002 the label has gone through several changes in definition, but the most common one lately seems to be that pan is attraction to all genders (regardless of gender); while bi is attraction to 2 or more (gender is a factor in attraction).

But if we look back at bi history, we can see that bisexuality has never been limited by gender, bisexuals were never fixated on the bi = 2 definition. its also useful to know that when people first started iding as bisexual (Stephen Donaldson, also known as Donny the Punk, was one of the first people to id as bisexual in around 1966 and the label gained popularity in the 70s), it meant something similar to unisex.

Bisexuals have been describing their bisexuality as attraction regardless of gender since the 70s;

“Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender”

Janet Bode, The Pressure Cooker, View From Another Closet (1976)

“I am bisexual because I am drawn to particular people regardless of gender. It doesn’t make me wishy-washy, confused, untrustworthy, or more sexually liberated. It makes me a bisexual.”

The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?, By Lani Ka’ahumanu (1987)

and The 1990 Bisexual Manifesto:

“Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.”

evidences that bisexuals were aknowledging nonbinary genders (although they would have used genderqu**r or genderfuck instead of nonbinary as nonbinary was coined as a gender term more recently than the 90s) and including them in their bisexuality a decade before the I Am Pansexual community even existed. This is one of the many reasons why the pan label is also biphobic, because it trys to redefine bisexuality against bisexuals will, so that pan can mean attraction to all genders instead of bisexual.

If you want to read more about how different definitions of pansexual are based in biphobia i reccomend this article.

Here is the current defintion of bisexuality, as used by the American Institute of Bisexuality, and the Journal of Bisexuality. from the bi.org website:

"There are as many ways to be bi as there are bi people. No one word can fully capture the nuances of personality, culture, beliefs, or personal preference; no word should try to. The term bisexuality makes no such pretense—  it is a general and inclusive term that encompasses everyone; all sexes and all genders. That does not mean that bi people are attracted to everyone, merely that bi people’s attractions aren’t limited by sex or gender."

“Please also note that attraction to both same and different means attraction to all. Bisexuality is inherently inclusive of everyone, regardless of sex or gender.“

If you want to read more about bi history then this article; The Bisexual History They Don’t Want You to Know by @mediumkravitz is a good place to start. Kravtiz has also written; Does Liking a Nonbinary Person Make You Bi or Pan? Not Necessarily. which might clear up any confusion on where attraction to nonbinary genders fits into sexuality.

Also lastly, if you would like to read more on bisexuality and bi history, i recently made this masterlist of bi books, which might be helpful.

[ckyunwon]

50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts

Send in a number and a pairing!

Small kisses littered across the other’s face.

A small, fleeting kiss - which is immediately followed by a passionate, hungry kiss.

A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond.

An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose.

Throwing their arms around the other person’s neck, hugging them close before kissing them passionately on the lips.

Wild, breathless kisses brought on by a heartfelt gift.

French kisses where they trace every tooth with their tongues as though trying to memorize them.

Laying a gentle kiss to the back of the other’s hand.

A kiss that lasts so long, they are sharing each other’s breaths.

A hello/good-bye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it.

Morning kisses that are exchanged before either person opens their eyes, kissing blindly until their lips meet in a blissful encounter.

Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss.

Butterfly kisses against the other’s cheeks.

A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished.

A fierce kiss that ends with a bite on the lip, soothing it with a lick.

One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Tucking their hands beneath the other person’s shirt, just to watch them break the kiss and gasp in surprise at the sensation of cold/warm hands on their skin.

Teasing kisses where one person blows air into the other’s mouth and runs away.

One person stopping a kiss to ask “Do you want to do this?”, only to have the other person answer with a deeper, more passionate kiss.

Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference.

A chaste kiss given to each other because they are in mixed company.

A kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party.

A kiss that tastes of the food/dessert they are eating.

Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer.

Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

Brushing a kiss along the shell of the other person’s ear.

Kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap.

One person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss.

Staring at each other’s lips for a moment before moving closer, as if drawn together by some unseen force.

Weak, sweaty kisses because it’s unbearably hot.

Pulling away from a kiss, whispering words of love against each other’s lips.

A kiss so passionate, so perfect - that after they part, neither person can open their eyes for a few moments afterwards.

An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Kisses that start on their fingers and run up their arm, eventually ending on their lips.

An awkward kiss given after a first date.

Starting with bunny kisses before moving on to soft kisses.

Cleaning the other person’s lips with a lick and a kiss.

Whispering “I love you” before a chaste, delicate kiss.

Kissing tears from the other’s face.

A gentle kiss that quickly descends into passion, with little regard for what’s going on around them.

Kisses shared under an umbrella.

Distracting kisses from someone that are meant to stop the other person from finishing their work, and give them kisses instead.

A kiss pressed to the top of the head.

Tentative kisses given in the dark.

Kisses exchanged as they move around, hitting the edges of tables or nearly tripping over things on the floor before making it to the sofa, or bed.

A lingering kiss before a long trip apart.

A kiss paired with a tight hug, knocking the breath out of the person being hugged.

One person has to bend down in order to kiss their partner, who is standing on their tip-toes to reach their partner’s.

Short and sweet kiss after meeting up for a date.

A kiss, followed by more that trail down the jaw and neck.

[ckyunwon]

Coffee Shop AUs

I’m a regular at this coffee shop, but they always get my name wrong. As the names get more outrageous, I’m starting to think this is on purpose

Who is responsible for the music in this coffee shop, because I want to have a talk with you

I have a cat café and you never really talk to anyone when you’re here and it seems almost rude, but the cats all seem to love you

Everyone has their personal breaking point and if you cut in front of me in line today, I will definitely break something

We have a sign that says “Give your barista a smile” and you really take this to the extreme and while I act like it annoys me, it always makes my day to see your weird grimaces

There is a big storm outside and yes, we were all warned, but some people have to work and now there is this group of people starting to make this small café their own for the next couple of hours till the storm eases up or we get rescued

The couple at the table between us keeps talking very loudly about the most outrageous things and we exchange glances from across the café every time they say something new

You’ve been a regular at our café, which specializes in very aromatic coffees, for months, always ordering tea, and I now find out that you hate the smell of coffee, and the all really like you, but why don’t you just take your tea instead of sitting here for hours and talking to us baristas?

Giving baking classes after closing hours has really helped my coffee shop financially, but it’s also a struggle when people come by who should be nowhere near a baking oven

You’ve been coming in for weeks now and it seems like you only want the wifi and all the employees are starting to make bets about what you’re always typing on your laptop

We’ve met online and you keep suggesting meeting up for a blind date at the café I work at, and does this mean I probably already know you if you’re a regular there? Because you can’t be one of my coworkers, right?

I need a specific book from the library for my thesis and I see you in the campus café using it as a laptop stand

Our boss definitely just hired the new guy because he’s their nephew, but now it’s my responsibility to keep this chaotic idiot under control

The coffee shop I work at is like a queer hotspot, but I don’t want to assume with you, and I’m afraid one of these days my co-workers will just ask you, because I keep going on about you

Some people can’t have regular milk because of health issues and I’m starting to get really annoyed, because people keep switching it and the plant-based milks up

We open up at six in the morning and you’re always already waiting in front of the door at 5:45

You have really bad taste in coffee and one day I’m going to refuse to make this abomination

The owners don’t allow animals in the café and I can’t help but notice that your jacket is making noises

You’re a regular at our coffee shop and you’re normally punctual like a clock, so excuse us for getting worried about you, when you turn up

It’s one of those really slow days and we’re two employees and just two customers on a date here and we already cleaned everything twice, so we’re starting to get really invested in that couple’s relationship

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! 🥰

[ckyunwon]

Touches Ask Game

Prompts for writing human connection, intimacy, belonging.

Hand-holding

The purest form of human connection.

tiny hands in big hands

calloused hands in soft hands

cold hands in warm hands

hands with the perfect ratio to each other for hand-holding

platonic hand-holding

running their thumb over the other’s hand

dancing with their hands holding onto each other

squeezing hand for comfort and encouragement

holding hands across the table

happily doing everything with just one hand, if it means they don’t have to let go

not wanting to lose each other in a big crowd

possessive hand-holding

linking hands together during sex

grabbing hand to show them something

loosely holding onto each other’s hands, laying in one’s lap

only linking the pinkies together, not ready to let go completely

holding hands while skating

excitedly grabbing each other’s hands during a concert, jumping up and down together

playing with each other’s fingers

pressing the other’s hand against their cheek

holding hands while one is balancing on a small wall

grabbing the other’s hand to pull them back from something

holding hands under the table

only realizing it when they have to let go

standing in front of each other, holding both their hands

holding their hands above their head, fingers linked together

passionate hand-holding

grabbing the other’s hand so they don’t fall

holding hands while running through the rain

brushing against each other, linking fingers together for a second

grabbing their hand to grab their attention

not really paying attention, both doing something else, but still holding hands

bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go

holding hands while driving

grabbing the other’s hand to pull them back to them

unconsciously searching out each other’s hand while sleeping

not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out

swinging hands back and forth, skipping like children

holding hands in a museum to pull them to the next exhibition

letting go when there is an obstacle in their way and immediately grabbing each other’s hand again when they pass it

loosely holding onto each other’s hand

dragging the other with them, holding their hand

raising the other’s hand to their lips to kiss it softly

holding hands while jumping down from somewhere together

comparing hand sizes, then linking fingers together

Hugs

A warm embrace.

friendly hugs

hug around the waist

hugging while twirling around

comforting hugs

side hugs

hugging and gently holding the other’s head

pulling someone into a hug

hugging while walking

eye-to-eye hugs

hiding their face in the other’s neck

clinging to each other

hugging while lying down together

group hugs

hugging with head on shoulder

tender embrace

‘not wanting to let go’ hugs

hugging from behind

bear hugs

hugging with hands in each other’s pockets

cuddling

hugs and kisses

hugging and jumping up and down together

familiar hugs

hugging with height-difference

gentle hugs

hugging with patting on back

piggy back hugs

quick hugs

hugging while slow dancing

one-sided hugs

hugging while straddling the partner

long-lasting hugs

‘picking them up’ hugs

hugging while grabbing butt

cuddle pile

Kisses

Showing affections.

goodnight kisses

hand kisses

smiling while kissing

lips barely touching

morning kisses

slow kisses

passionate kisses

kisses on the cheek

first kisses

goodbye kisses

welcome home kisses

kisses on the corner of their mouth

frustrated kisses

kissing each other breathless

soothing kisses

nose kisses

kisses as a promise

short pecks

forehead kisses

kisses on head

“we’ll face this together” kisses

kisses in the rain

life-or-death kisses

kisses for a cover

hard kisses

giggling while kissing

desperate kisses

neck kisses

hushed conversation in-between kisses

eyelid kisses

gentle stroking of cheeks

small kisses

kissing it better

jaw kisses

wake-up kisses

kissing away tears

public kisses

relieved kisses

kisses for comfort

tummy kisses

kisses to shut them up

slowly kissing down the body

“we’ll see each other again” kisses

kissing each finger

sleepy kisses

angry kisses

feather-light kisses

kisses with trembling lips

secret kisses

kisses with their last dying breath

Touching

Feeling another human’s touch.

touching foreheads

running fingers through hair

hiding face in neck

caressing the other’s hand

feeling their pulse

patting the other’s head

holding hands

shielding the other one with their body

listening to the other’s heartbeat

spooning at night

laying their hand on the other’s neck

pushing a strand of hair behind their ear

nudging the other one

putting an arm around the other’s waist

hugging each other

massaging them

holding the other’s chin up

squishing the other’s cheek

high fiving

bandaging/stitching up an injury

kissing the other’s brow

falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

carrying the other one in their arms

whispering in their ear, lips touching the skin

stroking the other’s arm soothingly

kissing the top of their head

pulling the other one towards them

feeling for each other in the dark

tickling the other one

grabbing onto their arm

doing a pinky swear

caressing the other’s back

tasting their smile

washing the other’s body

kissing their bruises and scars

lifting the other one up

putting their head on the other’s chest

stroking their leg

leaning into the other’s side

patting them on the back

sitting close and knees touching

braiding the other’s hair

giving them a piggy-back ride

sitting on the other’s lap

feeling their temperature

linking arms with each other

touching their elbow to get their attention

dancing with each other

holding onto the other’s shoulders for support

putting a hand over the other’s mouth to shut them up

Hand-holding|Hugs|Kisses|Touching

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! 🥰 

#idk where to put this

[ckyunwon]

uh @mylittlebirdcage now