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chernayavidua · 2 days
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New York. Rosemary Williams drinking coffee, 1949. Photos by Stanley Kubrick.
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chernayavidua · 4 days
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                 the past year and a half had been a whirlwind: the small two room dance studio had been turned into an academy thanks to the generous donation from the wayne foundation. a public donation which had only brought more attention to the dance studio along with curiosity about her and her past. that type of attention made her squirm and she did her best to avoid it at all costs, instead choosing to highlight her students and their talents. she adored all of her students regardless of how skilled they were, but there was one that stood out. she, like all her students, came from disadvantaged lower income households. it was something she could relate to and was determined to help them as much as she was able to.
                 her phone occasionally buzzed with a new message and they somehow got dirtier and dirtier. the messages karen kept sending were distracting and it didn't take long for her wind to wander off to places it shouldn't while watching group of students go through the routine again. apparently, the polished and well respected journalist that was currently in her office was not wearing any underwear. she had half a mind not to believe it but she didn't particularly know karen too well, they'd only been seeing each other a handful of months and while she was fond of the blonde, they kept their interactions in public friendly and not overly affectionate. (natasha was still paranoid about what had happened to her late husband. something karen did not know about. still paranoid about what could be done to her even in this new country.) her own anticipation was still thrumming through her two hours later when she interrupted the interview. with the door closed and locked, she could no longer act composed. no did she want to.
                 the fervent and passionate kiss was a result of those damn teasing messages and as soon as she felt bare flesh against her fingers, her own started to ache and without a second thought the red head dropped to her knees. teeth scraping against soft pale skin. she peered up at the other woman, brow arched. “what is not fair is leaving me with the thought of you without underwear for two hours. this is payback, moy lyubimaya”
                 a smattering of kisses and nips were left along the inner part of one thigh before moving to the next and repeating the process. her hands going to further spread apart karen's long legs while also caressing her soft skin. “think you can keep quiet?” she asks, blue eyes filled with need looking up at the blonde even as she leans in to ever so slowly drag the tip of her tongue from bottom to top, tip of her tongue flicking against karen's swollen clit.
Karen couldn’t put her finger on the exact moment her relationship with Natasha tilted the scales into something beyond friendship: one moment they were sitting together laughing with a glass of wine in hand each and the next moment they were undressing each other and falling into bed without a care in the world. Sometimes she would go to the studio to watch Natasha train and sometimes Natasha would come to her office bearing coffee, and each time they would steal kisses in a dark corner and make plans to see each other later in the privacy of one of their apartments.
Karen had come to the training center so she could interview the prodigy under Natasha’s training and tutelage. There had been quite a bit of chatter about the young woman over social media, and because of her connection with Natasha, Karen was able to get the first scoop to sit with the girl and let her talk about her dreams and aspirations. She had only blocked out an hour for the interview but by the time Natasha came to interrupt, they were two hours deep into discussing the younger girl’s aspirations without a care in the world. Both startled at the interruption, laughing as Natasha tapped her wrist pointedly, and as the younger girl thanked Karen and then scurried back too to do her training, the journalist was up and gathering her things with the assumption both left.
The door shut and the lock clicked in place, drawing Karen’s attention up and to Natasha who now leaned back against it with that look in her eyes.
Karen didn’t even have a chance to ask if they should before Natasha had her caged in against the desk, crushing her mouth with a searing kiss and her fingers already working on tugging up the hemline of Karen’s skirt, fingers expecting lace but brushing against bare flesh instead before she was on her knees and her mouth was nipping teasingly at the flesh of Karen’s inner thigh.
There was a breathy little gasp, a squirm of anticipation as Natasha’s mouthed teased and nipped at the pale flesh of her thighs, making Karen groan. “Come on, Nat, that’s not fair,” she whined, hips seeking out the needed contact of a tongue on her clit, but neither had been those teasing texts she’d sent the past two hours so perhaps this was tit for tat.
@chernayavidua / [ 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 ] : sender pleasures receiver with their mouth.
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chernayavidua · 8 days
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                 crimson hair and all, she blends in with the partial shadows that the roof's fire escape provides. "mind if i bum one?" she asks. her own way of saying she can relate. ( smoking had been a part of war and then part of the craft and then part of liberation. and now, while still part of the craft, it has turned into a way to keep her treacherous hands at bay. and why fiddle with the mostly empty glass in hand when a cigarette would also do the trick? ) the party inside was still going and as much fun as eating, dancing and drinking was, it was also that point in time when she started to feel like she needed a breather. contrary to what most thought, the woman behind the moniker could only fake things for so long. natasha had seen when barnes had peeled away from the party and disappeared. knowing the man hadn't left without saying goodbye to his friend, she went looking for him.
                 "don't let steve know but I'm a bit jealous of this view." the lights of the brooklyn bridge with all of the red and white lights it carries floating across it. the manhattan skyline and the river attempting to reflect it all back at the world. it was a strikingly different view to her penthouse or to her two apartments in different parts of the city. even the view from avengers tower wasn't quite the same. something about this view in particular made her feel like all the problems in the world could be put on hold. but even she knows thinking that way can only work for so long.
@chernayavidua : 🚬
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If anyone asked, he'd never be able to really give an answer as to why he was still smoking semi-regularly. Not as much as he used to, certainly not as much as he had wanted to in the war. It felt familiar, to have the cigarette in his hands, the ritual of lighting it and smoking like an echo through his memories. Stood on a fire escape, a sidewalk, a battlefield. He'd done this time and time and time again.
"Least it can't give me cancer," he murmured by way of acknowledgement, lifting his hand in greeting before taking another drag. She was very good, but he'd been trained just as well, and her soft footfalls had had the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. "They don't taste the same, but nothing does nowadays. I take what I can get."
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chernayavidua · 8 days
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                 even with his current state, natasha can't help but mirror the half-smile he gives her. “you'll get r&r don't worry.” it was stated as a fact because she would make sure he got time off even if she had to dig fury out of whatever hole he was hiding in while maria ran the show in his absence. the washcloth now stained with light pink is dipped into the warm water and as lightly as possible, the wound on his shoulder is cleaned. she can tell right away that they're stab wounds and she has the urge to hold him close as if she alone can shield him from any more damage.
                 she herself has not changed out of her widow suit. the only items that had come off were her belt which sat on the small kitchen table and her gloves which sat next to the cellphone in the living room. continuing her slow and methodical cleaning, she stops almost abruptly so and set the towel down on the edge of the tub before leaning in and pressing a kiss to his temple. her hand cradles his jaw and for a moment, for the briefest of moments, behind her closed lids he is barnes. pulling away, the woman stands, turning quickly to give him some semblance of privacy. “i have to make a call but i got you a clean pair of clothes. they're on the bed when you get out.”
                 picking up the discarded suit and shield, she closes the bathroom door and begins packing the items away. the clothes sit neatly laid on the bed: jeans, underwear, a black long sleeve, his favorite boots sit on the floor at the foot of the bed and the leather jacket hangs in the closet. grabbing the cellphone, she calls coulson and debriefs him about what she knows. the conversation is short and to the point yet they both know that their tone of voice holds all the things unsaid. the shower turns on and runs the length of their conversation. once it is over, natasha moves back to linger by the closed bathroom door. her gaze on the large single bed and the clothes upon it.
                 “do you need me to patch anything up?” more so to prevent his clothes from get stained rather than for healing actual purposes.
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steve feels nothing but guilt for making her worry. it overrides anything else. the ache in his bones. the stinging pain from the cuts. the blunt throbbing from the bruises that root themselves deep into the meat of his muscles? that is nothing compared to the regret that's settling into his heart for putting her through all the pacing he can imagine she was doing. for having to blow through the cigarettes he can smell the traces of in the air long after they've gone out. even after the water's been ran for the bath he's ushered towards.
the steam feels good. he stands there, helping her ease him out of the suit that's stuck to him in places from the caked on blood drying underneath the layers. more than once; he cinches his teeth to hold back a grunt or a hiss when it rips open a scratch that's healed underneath it. (scratch. a stab that hit a weak spot they'll have to address later.) but when he hits the water? all that seems to fade away. even if there's a pink in his cheeks and down his neck. one not made by the heat of the water or the steam.
she shouldn't have to see him this way. it's embarrassing.
but now his head is back against the tile. dirty blonde hair smooshed and making the white stained but he doesn't care. not currently. all he cares about is how good it feels to be made clean. to get that fight off him. his brow buckles at her gentle dab against his brow, eyes close and he breathes in steady. deep. "turns out that communications device isn't bulletproof. but it's good at stopping one. useless after though."
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he grins but then gives a little ow when his lips cleaned off. doesn't protest though. he lets her do whatever she needs to. she's the one seeing the state he's in. not himself. barely got a glimpse of what he looked like in the mirror. maybe that's for the best. his eyes open. without his head moving, they shift to look out of their corners towards her. "yeah. guess so. after tonight? seriously thinking about putting in my two weeks notice. that's still a thing. right? but back what it was a thing for us? it was more or less hit the road if you even tried.. think they'll let me? hit the road, that is." a half-smile because he's only half-joking..
..ah reality though? isn't that a bitch? he's not going anywhere. that'd require being let go and for him? to be able to let go of the shield that's laying underneath the bloody, dirty suit he keeps throwing on like a second skin. unable to stay out of it for very long at all.
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chernayavidua · 11 days
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mending a minor injury for the object of your desires.  the tension and unresolved yearning felt with every brush of fingers,  the hesitant eye contact as you tie the bandage around their palm,  the gentle banter and begrudging fussing.  that treacherously felt unspoken line you inch towards every time you show just how scared you were that it would be worse or could be worse next time.  that almost kiss…
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chernayavidua · 14 days
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                 she’d been in the middle of an undercover assignment overseas when mcmanus had contacted her asking her for yet another favor. however, it wasn’t a personal work favor, it was one that was coming from the very top of the agency. natasha spent two hours on the phone with the director and with mcmanus before making another call to a different director and a different agency. that call didn’t last as long. and after doing what she could regarding her current assignment and trying to save her cover from being blown, natasha headed back to the states. 
                 “at this rate you’re going to owe me for the rest of your life.” she said as the blonde man fell into step beside her, footsteps echoed as they made their way down the hall towards the conference room at the very end. don’t count this one against me. i’m just the messenger.
                 he scanned his badge and opened the door. In the room there were only three other people and one of them was not who she expected. despite this, handshakes were passed around and an attempt to exchange pleasantries was made but natasha did not entertain it. i'm not here for you to kiss my ass, director. what is the emergency you people cannot deal with?
                 three hours later and she was following mcmanus and meade out of the conference room, down the hall and out of hq and into a black sedan. they were headed to private airfield where natasha would be given her cover details, clothes, and money before she’d get on a jet and fly to new york.
                 however, all of that would be completely and utterly useless because in less than thirty six hours she would know who the faceless, nameless blonde woman was and would be in her apartment.
--
                 the gun was just for show and they both knew it. the widow disk would be a better way, even the knife on her person or even a head lock with a quick and precise twist. they both knew she didn’t actually need a weapon to end the other woman’s life but there were so many questions that she needed answers to. cold eyes watched as karen closed the distance between them. the gun didn’t waver not even as she willed herself not to respond to the touch or the kiss. natasha stood there motionless save for the way she pushed the weapon firmly against karen’s chest. a brow arched as she considered the whispered words.
                 now with an arm’s distance between them, the widow lowered the weapon. “let’s be realistic about things. what is your plan? do you even have a plan? are you going to turn criminals socialist, is that it?”
New York had never been a blip on the radar of S.H.I.E.L.D. until the Invasion and after...after the city had been left to clean up the mess on its own. The people had persevered, they always did, and life had went back to what would be considered normal...except there was Fisk in the shadows, pulling strings, manipulating, crushing and killing to get what he wanted and S.H.I.E.L.D. turned a blind eye to it all, focused on other threats that they deemed more important to deal with. (And maybe they were more important but it didn't change the fact that Fisk was a dangerous man.)
S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't care because it didn't affect them so the fight back arose from within the city itself. Karen had watched the changing landscape, the birth of Daredevil and the Punisher, of the Iron Fist and Luke Cage and even Jessica Jones...but the city was never truly changed. Fisk was still there in the shadows, omnipresent and puppeteering.
When she'd plunged the knife into him and ended his life, much like the heroes who protected the city, who were birthed from a darkness that they were thrust into, Karen was reborn as well.
She never expected S.H.I.E.L.D. to interfere, let alone question a change in the status quo, but as she stared across at Natalya, gun leveled center-mass at her chest, Karen wondered what changed their mind. (Or was the spy doing this of her own accord?) The wine glass in hand was placed on the marble countertop, red lipstick staining the rim, and the woman let out a soft exhale of what could be construed as disappointment as she moved towards the other.
Should she had been afraid a bullet would be put into her? Probably. Was she? Not at all. Standing before Nat, a hand reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from her face and then Karen leaned in to press a soft kiss to the other woman's lips, gun pressing into her chest. As they broke apart, she stayed close, eyeing her lover's features closely before she spoke in a hushed whisper. "We could do so much good for this city, Talya. So much good."
@chernayavidua gets a kiss 💋.
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chernayavidua · 20 days
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                 giving him a key to her safehouse was her way of showing him she trusted him. not that all the years they’d worked together didn’t count, they did. but this, for her, was a different level of trust. a level of trust that she only reserved for a handful of people in her life. not even coulson knew about this safehouse and considering their history, it was saying a lot. the safehouse was connected to an alias ---an alias who was out of the country and was renting out her apartment--- and while the apartment was minimally furnished, she figured steve could use it after missions or simply to take a break and leave the new york for a few days. the mission had been deemed as a simple one. one that didn’t require back up. one which had her on as standby. a just incase. what neither of them had expected was the loss of overwatch and coms. as soon as coulson informed her that he’d lost visual and audio, natasha disconnected her own com and headed for the safehouse. there was no knowing what had happened or if he would make it. she paced back and forth while on the phone with coulson who was now in command center barking orders at agents trying to get a visual.
i don’t know what happened out there but it looks like a damn warzone. still no visual.
“doesn’t he have a tracker on his suit?” 
we aren’t getting a signal. it must have been damaged.
which meant steve must have been hit hard enough for it to be damaged.
                 having already smoked through two cigarettes and practically made a path on the wooden floors from pacing, natasha stared out the large window at the madrid skyline, fingers beginning to fidgeting when she’d heard the thuds of familiar footfalls. a sigh escaped her, shoulders dropping. he was okay. despite this, despite knowing he was fine she couldn’t help the way her heart tightened in her chest at his appearance. he looked like hell. and so she did the one thing that felt familiar in this situation: she led him to the bathroom and ran the tap until it was warm. in the meantime she took inventory of the visible injuries and with practiced ease ---however unfortunate--- she works on removing the top part of his vest. the weight of it in her hands is an all too familiar one. ( she’s done this before. patched up a different man wearing a slightly different version of the symbolic red, white and blue. watched as that man also tried not to give in under the weight of it all. she is almost certain that the white of the suit will one day be permanently stained with red. --- the thought is pushed away as quickly as it pops up. she’s unable to bear the thought of either steve or james in such a situation. ) 
                 the running water that fills the tub is a constant she can focus on while moving on autopilot as she peels away the symbol from the man underneath it. it is discarded on the floor and it takes her longer than she would admit to move past the mosaic of bruises and dried blood that adorn him. ---while she knows that what's in his veins will heal him, the injuries are still unsettling to see.--- in an attempt to refocus herself, she tugs off his boots and sets them aside as well. when he speaks up it almost sounds too loud.
                 “i was more worried about losing contact with you than i was about you thinking you didn’t need my help.” the washcloth she grabs is run under the warm water before she begins cleaning up the dried reddish brown staining his skin. natasha doesn’t say anything as she gently dabs at the cut above his eyebrow and then cleans the corner of his mouth.  “people like us don't get to retire. if we do, one way or another we're brought back into the thick of it.”
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@chernayavidua || that's a meme right there || accepting!
blood, sender cleans blood off of receiver. / for steve
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there's always something so unsettling about the quiet that falls after the last shell casing hits the ground when the fight's, finally, over. it's as hollow as the bent brass kicked aside by tired foot inside a worn, scuffed boot. the ride there only takes about an hour. feels like a little eternity inside his chest, though. steve's limbs are heavy. like gravity's come up, wrapped itself around each one and is trying to drag him underground with every step and swing of his arm. it takes him forever to climb the stairs to the place she told him she'd be if he needed her.
he's got no idea if she's still here.
but the little key in the pocket of his uniform says he hopes so. maybe counting on it. no, not maybe. he IS. by the time he gets to her floor (cause with the messy state he's in? he can't just walk into the building and take the elevator) he's showing his discomfort in the way he grimaces and crinkles his nose while rolling his shoulder outside the short hallway that leads to the only door on this floor. her door.
the little key's pulled from the pocket on the inside of his vest. dirty, weather-beaten fingers hold it delicately and it wobbles as he puts it in the lock and twists. she's standing on the other side like she knew he had to take a second to compose himself the best he could as he gave himself the task of letting himself in.
a dull thud and his helmet hits the floor. there's bloodstains on it but they've long dried and mostly flaked off by now. he wish so much could be said about the ones dried along the corner of his mouth. the coagulated mark cut above his brow that won't leave a scar because of what's in his veins but damn sure looks like it should even though the road gave it a little bit of a healing grace. scuffed up knuckles and a bruised up face. this one took a little out of him. they haven't gotten to what's underneath the suit. bruises mostly. though the outline of brown red across a diagonal streak near his shoulder says at least one jerk landed their mark on a weak spot.
she takes his wrist and pulls him to the bathroom letting him have his silence like she knows he needs until he's the one who speaks up. the tub's running warm water by then, she's busying herself with taking off the top part of his vest. sometimes the captain and the soldier truly do show how alike they can be from growing up together. and she understands. she knows. "probably shoulda called you this time. honestly? barely knew where this was coming from..." a small grin. tired, guilty. "guess retirement's outta the question. least for now."
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chernayavidua · 21 days
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i still cannot form words to save my life. i've also been super busy with school. however, i do have two replies in the queue. so for the foreseeable future i will only be focusing on things that give me muse regardless of plotting status. also for anyone who cares about canon on this blog, alexei is very much alive. i hope that one day i can write him as an npc.
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chernayavidua · 27 days
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GENERAL
“Can you walk?”
“How did this happen?”
“What the hell happened?”
“I hit my head.”
“Did you hit your head?”
“Can you hear me?”
“Don’t close your eyes, stay awake!”
“Come on, stay with me!”
“No no no no no!”
“You shot me!”
“I didn’t mean to shoot you!”
“You stabbed me!”
“I didn’t mean to stab you!”
“Take the knife out!”
“Don’t take the knife out!”
“It was an accident!”
“That/this wasn’t an accident!”
“That looks broken.”
“I think my leg/arm is broken.”
“That doesn’t look good.”
“Am I going to die?”
“You’re not going to die!”
“Calm down!”
“Don’t panic!”
“I can’t help you if you don’t let me!”
BLOOD
“Are you bleeding?”
“Don’t move, you’re bleeding.”
“Is that blood?”
“Whose blood is that?”
“That’s a lot of blood.”
“Do you know how to get bloodstains out?”
“Why do you know how to get bloodstains out?”
“Damn, I got blood on my shirt.”
“Don’t move, you’re losing blood!”
“I won’t let you bleed out!”
“You have blood on your face.”
“I swear to god, if you get blood on me…”
“What’s your blood type?”
“Why in the hell would you need to know my blood type?”
WOUNDS
“That cut is nasty.”
“You have a massive gash in your arm/leg!’
“Don’t touch it!”
“Don’t move, you’ll only make it worse!”
“I’ll get some bandages.”
“You’re going to need stitches.”
“That looks infected…”
“Did you get bit by something?”
“There’s no exit wound, the bullet is still in you.”
“There’s an exit wound, the bullet went through you.”
AFTERCARE
“How are you feeling?”
“How does it feel?”
“It’s still not healed, but it’s getting there.”
“Let’s go home.”
“I just want to go home.”
“Let’s get you into the bathtub.”
“We need to change your bandages soon.”
“Get some sleep, okay?”
“You need to eat something, you’ve been through a lot today.”
“I’ll check up on you in a bit.”
“You’re going to be fine. I promise.”
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chernayavidua · 30 days
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Jessica Chastain in 'The Forgiven' (2022) dir. John Michael McDonagh
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chernayavidua · 1 month
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                 the grin karen's words cause is bright but it only lasts for a short moment. natasha sits there, letting her eyes roam the crowd as if she isn't counting down the seconds in her head. downing the rest of her drink, she signals for another. chin propped on her palm, the spy chats up the woman who refills her drink. after a short moment and a few bills, natasha is sliding out of the booth and disappears through the crowd.
                 excitement rushes through her and she's glad to see that no one is waiting outside the restroom. two knocks are given and even before the door is fully opened she's sliding on in. back pressed against the door, fingers of one hand flicking the lock into place, natasha smiles affectionately at karen. "your person of interest has a babysitter. if he moves, we'll know."
This was a dilemma...a very fun one, though.
The man seemed preoccupied with the dancer who was taking up residence on his lap. Karen made mental notes about the way he interacted with her, how he touched her, how he seemed to be speaking with her. Of course the dancer was playing her role and playing it well, but it was obvious that her person of interest was oblivious to it. He was smitten with her, all smiles and politeness, and Karen felt confident enough in that moment that nothing would go wrong if he just...disappeared for a bit.
Because there was no way she was letting Natasha just go off by herself, not after the comment she made. Karen grabbed onto Natasha's wrist, her hold loose and gentle, something she could easily break free from if she wanted to remove herself from their corner booth. She wouldn't, though, and Karen knew it. That was why she leaned in once more. "He seems to be behaving currently. Unlike you." She was quick, releasing Natasha, sliding out of the booth, working the dress back down her thighs since it rode up the slightest as she got out of the seat. A glance was given to Natasha, two knocks mouthed to her, and it was Karen who disappeared first.
She was back in the bathroom with the door shut behind her and her heart pounding in her chest, a thrill coursing through her at their little dalliance. And yes, she was supposed to be watching the man...but she could have her own fun too, right?
Right.
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chernayavidua · 1 month
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i've been struggling muse wise for like the past two months. i was able to write a reply today so maybe writing drabbles for talya and my npcs is working ? maybe. anyway here's hoping doing some more poking at some threads will cause my brain to create words. i will also be deleting some things from my inbox in an attempt to lessen the amount of things i owe. if you want to send valentine's stuff you totally can, i might send a thing or two but i'll stay lurking bc classes and lack of focus is kicking my butt.
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chernayavidua · 2 months
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You Me Her (2016– )
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chernayavidua · 2 months
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↪     ᵗʰᵉ 𝑫𝑼𝑺𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑶𝒀𝑩𝑶𝑿 .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted sentence starters .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   no longer updating .  )
why are you here ?
drive .  drive fast .
i think we should make an informed decision .
are you coming or not ?
you’ve been avoiding me .
[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?
this should be your priority .
let me hold you for a minute .
get out of my way .  i won’t tell you again .
that wasn’t supposed to happen .
can you keep a secret ?
i don’t know what i did to deserve you .
you seriously think i could’ve done something like that ?
you’re safe with me .
sorry isn’t good enough .
where is all this coming from ?
who told you about that ?
sorry i’m late ,  i got caught up .
you’re being paranoid .
why are you looking at me like that ?
you’re the single most important thing to me .
all i’m asking is that you hear me out .
whatever they told you ,  it’s a lie .
we shouldn’t stick around here .
hold my hand ,  i don’t want to lose track of you .
[ name ]  …  truth or dare ?
i love you .  nothing’s gonna change that .
can you tell me what happened ?
you can’t come around here anymore .
back off ,  okay ?
what ,  you don’t have time for me anymore ?
you’re asking for too much .
i’m trying to start a new life .
what do you mean ,  you aren’t coming back ?
sometimes i think you must hate me .
why can’t we just talk about this ?
i know i fucked up ,  you can stop rubbing it in .
you’ve got quite a reputation .
i’m not usually like this ,  i’m sorry .
please ,  just let me explain myself .
i love watching you work .
we’re on the same team .
did you ever tell anyone ?
you’ve got a lot of explaining to do .
really funny ,  you’re very mature .
you call THAT a PLAN ?
can we get out of here ?
i thought things would be different .
this is not up for debate !
do whatever you have to do .
karma’s going to get you for that .
it could’ve been a lot worse .
i asked you to leave me out of this .
maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith .
i never want to see you again .
can you see how many fingers i’m holding up ?
i’m gonna be there when you get what’s coming to you .
you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me .
i’ve been waiting all night for this .
i told you not to contact me .
sometimes i really think you have a death wish .
what do you need ?  —  what can i do ?
i would do literally anything to keep you safe .
that was supposed to be a secret .
you haven’t called me that in years .
stop telling me to calm down !
we make a pretty good team .
i have so much i want to say to you .
i’m not going to let anyone hurt you .
can we please not do this right now ? 
wait ,  wait  …  just breathe for a second .
how are you holding up ?
why don’t you stay the night ?  i’ll take the couch .
i don’t need your protection !
you’re not making this easier on yourself .
are you going to let me in ?
i’m supposed to be protecting you .
i will kill you if i have to .
do whatever you have to do .
this is going to hurt ,  i’m sorry .
what happened to you ,  where have you been ?!
there was nothing you could’ve done .
you’re all i need right now .
i don’t believe in love at first sight .
have you been following me ?
i need you to believe me .
what do you remember ?
i’m not a good person .
what the hell’s going on with you ?
you’re being followed .
just when i thought my day couldn’t be any worse .
i’ve been having weird dreams .
so you’ve been lying to me this whole time ?
are you trying to get us killed ?
this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me .
i never asked for your help .
you’re being followed ,  pretend you know me .
why has it started to feel different with you ?
don’t worry ,  i have a plan .
i heard everything .
do you need to sit down ?
i have the right to know what’s going on .
i’ve just gotta catch my breath .
stay out of my business .
what did you think was going to happen ?!
don’t cause a scene .
tell me something about you that i don’t know .
can i buy you a drink ?
what if  …  we played spin the bottle ?
this was never a problem until  [ name ]  came around .
you can’t ask me to make that choice .
are you seeing anyone right now ?
i need you to listen to me ,  we don’t have long .
you’re lying ,  that doesn’t make any sense .
you look  …  stunning .
what are you trying to prove ?
who died and made you the boss of me ?
you can’t just show up here like this .
let me make it up to you .
there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .
can we stay like this ?  just for a little longer .
i don’t need you to fight for me .
so  …  you lied to me ?
you’re the only one that can help me .
i can’t help you if you won’t let me .
i never introduced myself ,  i’m [ name ] .
i expected more from you .
you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?
are you real ?  is this real ?
can i stay with you ?  just for the night .
you’re going to get yourself killed .
why did you help me ?
tell me what i can do to help .
pick a card ,  any card .
i never wanted any of this .
i love you .   you don’t have to say it back .
do you wanna get out of here ?
what the hell are you talking about ?
i should have trusted you .
get your head out of the clouds .
how is any of this MY fault ?!
what aren’t you telling me ?
i can’t help you if you won’t let me .
it’s never just one with you ,  is it ?
you’re not supposed to know about that .
shut your mouth .
i haven’t kissed you yet ,  today .
where is this coming from ?
come over here and make me ,  then .
keep lying to yourself ,  see where it gets you .
i’m not a bad person .
is that what you wanted to hear ?
we can’t be seen together .
i can’t give you what you want .
i need you to leave .
are you drunk ?
i’m here ,  i’m here .  i’m not going anywhere .
you might want to take a seat for this .
have you been listening to anything i’ve said ?
i haven’t heard from you in weeks .
you’re jealous ,  aren’t you ?
who do you think you’re talking to ?
what are you reading ?
you could’ve killed me !
come on ,  we don’t have time for this .
i just need ten minutes of silence .
really ?  that’s all you have to say ?
we could leave ,  you know .  go far away .
you don’t look too good .
i never want to see you again .
why can’t you just leave me alone ?
i thought you died .
you’ll do anything for attention .
give me another chance .
how’s the weather up there ?
all you do is hurt people !
i’m sorry ,  none of this makes sense .
you need to get out of here before anyone sees you .
i told you i didn’t want you around here .
is that supposed to be a threat ?
you’ve changed .
don’t look at me like that .
it’s a beautiful day ,  don’t you think ?
i did what i had to do .
you never know when to stop .
i’ve got to get home ,  it’s getting late .
i have nothing to prove to you .
stop LYING to me  …  all you do is lie .
you don’t have to be nice to everybody .
don’t tell me what to do .
pull your head out of the past .
nobody can help me .  i can’t even help me .
we are not talking about that right now .
are you new around here ?
you have no idea what you’re starting .
i’m gonna get us out of here .
whatever you came here to say ,  i don’t want to hear it .
everyone’s staring at us .
is there anything i can do to help ?
i won’t cause you any more trouble .
– just follow my instructions for once !
do you want to come in ?
i just didn’t know what to do .
you need rest ,  lie down .
i’m not who you think i am .
i don’t know what you want me to say .
you’re not like anyone else i’ve ever met .
i feel like i’m going insane .
stop asking ,  you��re not going to like my answer .
i didn’t want you to see me any differently .
i wish i knew what to say to you .
don’t give me that look ,  you know what i mean .
you should be afraid .
do you still love me ?
i never thought i’d get this far .
the world doesn’t revolve around you .
i need you to give me some space .
i know what you’re doing ,  don’t play games .
you left me to die .
i’m beyond repentance .
when are you going to get it through your head ?
i missed you more than i thought i would .
i’m in love with you .
what do you need from me ?
i’ll kill them ,   just say the word .
[ name ] ,   what are you doing here ?
how can i help ?
you’re pathetic .
i need you to come pick me up .
where have you been ?  it’s eleven o’clock .
i couldn’t live with myself if i let you get hurt .
i can’t just pretend it didn’t happen .
you’re a real piece of work .
do you remember how we first met ?
when did all of this fall apart ?
that’s not what i came here for .
i would do anything for you .
i don’t need you to hold my hand through this .
are you sure this is the right thing to do ?
can’t we try to pretend things are okay ?
what is THAT supposed to mean ?
you’re always late ,  what am i supposed to think ?
there’s nothing you can do to fix this .
you’re far too kind to me .
can we go now ?  like ,  right now ?
i have to do this alone .
where’s your common sense ?
we aren’t supposed to be in here .
can you feel my heartbeat ?
i think i’ve seen you around before .
why are you acting weird ?
i have a really bad feeling .
i hate seeing you like this .
how am i supposed to react to that ?
what do you want most in the world ?
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chernayavidua · 2 months
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                 THERE WAS RARELY A DAY SHE WAS NOT WORKING. even when she said said she wasn't, she usually ended up working on some level. which is why karen's invitation to help with a work thing was taken in stride. and while natasha knew that it was a work outing for karen, that didn't mean a little fun couldn't take place. a mid-thigh scoop neck, long sleeve black dress was her outfit of choice which she accessorized with a wide black belt, silver hoop earrings, fishnet stockings held in place by garters and black heels.
                 she didn't ask what it was for or who the man was, she simply helped karen keep an eye on the man they were following. their dinner and conversation were a pleasant change for her considering she had only returned from her own three week long work assignment in the desert very early that morning. and the evening club they went to next would be a good place to put her plan into motion.
                 natasha's smile grew into a grin at karen's words. she leaned in, lips grazing along the curve of her jaw. "good. then i won't be worried about someone barging in while i take care of myself." her whispered words clear even over the musics as teeth grazed against the blonde's jaws before she pulled away to take a sip of her wine. her gaze found their person of interest and the brunette he was with, only to return to karen a moment later. "a shame you have to keep an eye on him but i'll give you a taste after i'm done, don't you worry mon cheri."
Karen didn't often ask people to join her when she went on her solo investigations into clientele that was asking to hire Madison; the men and women were generally harmless, high-level corporate workers who were just looking for someone to keep them company (or play as arm candy). Usually the clientele were not local, but this one just happened to be and Karen had been following and looking into the man for two weeks so far with his schedule set in place. She'd not delved into the places he had gone into, mostly because she wanted to make sure of his schedule and habits first, but now was the time to go and follow him into these places to see what he was truly like.
She'd asked Natalia along so she could be inconspicuous among the crowds: while it was undoubtedly normal for someone to solo dine out, she did not want to draw any attention to her by being solo. Their dining experience had been pleasant, the two making small talk about life and the man as he had his meal alone (Nat's espionage work really offered Karen knew insight into people).
Karen knew where he would be going after his meal - he never once strayed from his schedule, so after his meal he would spend a few hours at the evening club and then go home to his wife. Instead of waiting for him to leave first, Karen and Natalia left and took up residence in a corner booth at the evening club themselves, drinking and listening to the music thrum. Karen had been focused on the women the man was speaking with after he arrived, his mannerisms, his body language, but then there was a voice in her ear with a hand drifting a ong her thigh.
❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜ The words from @chernayavidua were whispered almost conspiratorially in Karen's ear, her smile obvious in the tone.
Karen shot a look at her, taking in a deep breath as the hand that was on her thigh squeezed to punctuate the point. She leaned in a little closer to the woman, considering her words. "The bathroom has a lock on the door."
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chernayavidua · 2 months
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(sms ➝ draft) everyone is worried about you
(sms ➝ draft) steve just wants to know you're okay
(sms ➝ draft) how are you doing?
(sms ➝ draft) want to grab dinner at that pizza place you like? i'll buy?
(sms ➝ draft) i'll be dropping by sometime later today
(sms ➝ sent) it was nice seeing you, parker. we should hang out again when you're not busy grading papers.
five + one text message edition
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chernayavidua · 2 months
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seven months after making THIS POST, i finally have a few npcs and while i still need to map out a timeline and make short little bios for them, i will be sprinkling them into replies where i see fit. the ones listed below are canon marvel characters i am stealing as npcs while the rest are taken from other media sources. (minus one she is a wip oc) if i mention them in a thread and you want to know more about them, you can im me or inbox me your questions !
ivan petrovich bezukhov
isaiah ross 
phil coulson (alt fc + background)
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