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chaoticpaperball · 2 months
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tee hee
Jealous! Dan Headcanons
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It's really no surprise that Dan gets jealous easily, seeing as he's able to get angry at pretty much anything but you
Yet because of that he views you as one of the only good things in his life and so he tries vehemently to make sure that you stay in his life and aren't tricked by someone else into dating them instead
He deals with his jealousy either by immediately exacting revenge or putting their name on the list
Everyone who does make him jealous should immediately start running btw because he can and will make their next twenty four hours a living nightmare
And if they get their named added to the list then they should just be on guard because he will eventually break them (metaphorically and physically)
Yet luckily because of his… diminutive stature it is rather easy to stop him from doing any harm, at least for now
Even if he does get jealous easily he never really suspects Chris of having anything for you, as even though he accuses Chris of most things he knows how much he loves his wife
But also, Dan has a difficult time detecting when and when not to be jealous, if someone is blatantly flirting with you he may get confused but not mad, if someone is not flirting with you he may still accuse them of doing so
Lastly, even if it's in the past Dan will still get jealous of those who you dated before him
And if he does find out who they are… hopefully they have good defences
Fin
[Reblogs > Likes]
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chaoticpaperball · 2 months
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WAS THAT THE BONJOUR FLAG
Dan's gonna go to jail 😔🙏
Made this at like 5am
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chaoticpaperball · 2 months
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Me for reals
but my uterus if it was real
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chaoticpaperball · 2 months
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chaoticpaperball · 2 months
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"Mr. Mumbles and I are only joining you because the AC broke."
I think Dan deserves some forced relaxation, as a treat
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some bonus doodles
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chaoticpaperball · 11 months
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gyat
i forgor i had a tumblr
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chaoticpaperball · 1 year
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Ok, here it is. This is one of my all time favorite interviews. It doesn’t really contain anything new, and I am still convinced it has been translated before, but that is beside the point. He is so chatty, and I get the impression he was quite at ease with the interviewer, and he’s just and adorable dork. I gave up on trying to capture his “voice” pretty fast because it’s impossible. Maybe it’s because I know how he sounds when he speaks english, but he’s ... a bit of a hazard, in that he sounds dumb one minute and sophisticated the next, and some of the things he says are actually not translateable, so I just concentrated on trying to get what he says across and gave up on the how.
Interview with Richard Kruspe of Emigrate and Rammstein
by Marcus Schleutermann of Rock Hard Magazine, August 22, 2008
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Richard, where and in what kind of circumstances did you grow up?
Until I was seven I lived in a small village called Weisen. That was a beautiful childhood with alot of nature, cats and dogs and a big family with two siblings. Then the big break came unfortunately, with the divorce of my parents. My father was gone from one day to the next, and we moved in with my stepfather in Schwerin. We didn’t ge on at all. The situation between me and him escalated quite a bit and I often ran away from home quite often. Sometimes I slept on park benches or in a friend’s basement and was looked for by the police. When there was the chance to start an apprenticeship somewehre else I jumped on it right away and went to Hagenau. Since there was nothing there other than a big army base, I did nothing but spend two and a half years worth of sparetime playing guitar. Looking back, I have to say that my stepfather at least taught me basic discipline. I profit from that by now, because as a musician there is no outside obligation to sit down and compose every day.
Where would you most like to live?
At the moment, I live both in Berlin and in New York. I like that duality. New York has a unique energy that drives me. I never really warmed up to Berlin on the other hand. When I first came here, the negative attitude of the people here totally spooked me. It’s always a no at first. Apart from that it’s pretty cold here. But by now quite a few things have changed for the better, especially this refreshing multiculti-thing, which of course doesn't only work between germans and turks, but between all sorts of nationalities. I would most like to live in Cape Town. You have the mountains on one side and two oceans on the other. The people are open and friendly and there is a very beautiful light that is good for my mind. (I feel obligated to say that he uses the word «Gemüt» which could also mean mood or soul and kind of means all of those 3 things at once.) I can imagine that as a retirement retreat.
Were you more of nerd or a bruiser in school?
I think that goes without saying - quite a bit of a bruiser.
So you did end up in brawls now and then.
Certainly. At the age of 10 to 14 I got into situations all the time where I - lets say - could let loose physically. But when I started wrestling I learned how to chanel my aggressions. I trained 5 times a weekand had competitions on the weekends. Unfortunately I was way too offensive most of the time and had no patience while fighting. I wanted victory right away, like tyson.
Are your parents proud and of you?
I think my biological father is very proud of me. My mother always wanted something else for me, but by now my muscian’s life is okay for her. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you are successful. Especially for the post-war generation of my parents materialistic value is still held above evrything.
So what does money mean to you?
Essentially, only the freedom to be able to do what I like to do. Money means independency to me most of all. The problem with that is of course that you get used to a certain level of luxury and lifestyle. When I earned the first bit of money with Rammstein I was in seventh heaven and thought I would never need more. With my two apartments in London and Berlin and the constant travelling I need a bit more nowadays.
How do you define success?
Success is relative. With Emigrate I got great reviews, sold a good number of albums worldwide and got releases in America and Australia. Therefore, I could assess my solo project as a success, but in comparison with Rammstein, who sell millions, Emigrate are small fry.
What was the most miserable job you ever had?
The worst job was window cleaner, because I suffer from vertigo a bit [laughs]. Initially I was a truckdriver, but I lost my license after an accident. After that the company deemed I was supposed to become a window cleaner and climb up the Schwerin television tower. No way! I just put up the ladder for them and told them: See you later! (He actually uses english for the see you later. More impactful, you see.) To get by, I made shoes myself and sold them. Espardrilles and the likes. That is funny, because I am actually not talented in crafts at all. But I am streetwise and inventive when it comes to survival. I always had to improvise to get by because I couldn't handle authority at all. As a teenager I apprenticed to be a cook/chef (Same word in german. Probably more a cook than a chef to be honest here.) That's a tough job going off the tough hours alone. Apart from that it gets quite hot by the stove after a while.
That is not that different with Rammstein’s pyro show.
Quite true, hahaha! I believe cooking and making music has so much in common anyway. I have always cooked without a recipe. I just take what is there and conjure up something delicious. Some things maybe don't fit that well in the beginning, but you learn that quite quickly and then you develop an intuitive sense. That is the same with composing.
What would have become of you, if you hadn’t become a musician?
Hm, good question. I would like to produce a band some time - so kinda switch to the other side. Other than that I love to write and could imagine screenwriting would be a suitable job for me.
Speaking of Hollywood, how about being before the camera? Are there characters you would have loved or love to play?
Two characters I find brilliant: Taxi Driver and Leon the Professional. And those gangster flicks are cool. Goodfellas and Reservoir Dogs for exemple.
So more the underdogs and the villains - not the heroes.
Yes, they just have more potential. After I shot some erotic scenes for a video the other day I could also imagine doing an entire film in that direction. I was quite nervous in the beginning, but the longer we were shooting the more fun I had. Erotic, mind you, not pornographic.
So, you’d undress for Playgirl?
Not anymore [laughs]. Although probably not before either. I do have a pretty easy going relationship with my body and run around naked in my apartment alot, but then I am not that exhibitionistic that I'd strip for some glossy magazine.
So you’re a at-home nudist.
Yeah, that's an east thing, I think. When I opened my apartment door in New York naked once when the door rang while I was in bed with my then wife, she was completely bewildered. The shameless ossis (east germans) and the prudish americans - that was a meeting of the worlds. [laughs]
Are you vain?
Unfortunately, yes. I'd like to be more above that because vanity is a negative quality that has something to do with insecurity and ego. I work on myself and as I got older I luckily developed a more casual attitude. At some point you start to accept the degredation of the body.
Theoretically you could counteract that with plastic surgery. How about an appointment with Nip/Tuck, hm?
That's not something for me, but I don't have anything against plastic surgery. If people are unhappy with their body and gain new self esteem and sense of life through an operation, they should go through with it. I do see a problem in the danger of it getting exorbitant and to develop some kind of addiction like with tattoos that goes far beyond the reasonable. The body won't go along with everythig after all, and such things as calf implants are pretty crazy.
Speaking of crazy, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
That must have been asking a woman to marry me two days after meeting her. She said yes, and the rest is history. (They are divorced at this point, as the article points out here - in brackets too.)
Cue: Woman: What type do you prefer?
Like almost everyone I do have some sort of type. You need a relationship that mirrors yourself and to develop. So in that sense you're looking for a partner that drives you forward in certain aspects. To have a good relationship you need to keep a balance of passion and friendship - if it's just one it will overturn at some point.
What do you think of groupies?
They just belong to it all. This symbiosis of star and groupie is like theater. The relationship between both has of course nothing to do with reality, and is just an illusion, but you shouldn't destroy that. I'm personally not really tempted by groupies because I like it when I have to fight for a woman. But I like the glamour their presence emenates.
Do you believe in god or reincarnation? Are you spiritaully inclined?
More and more. I don't believe in god in a church sense, but I'm a spiritual guy and believe in a form of justice; that the things we do come back to us in some way eventually. Karma, so to speak. I also have the slightly feminine habit of using astrology to understand people. I use it as a tool to decipher characters. Once you know how someone's house is build, it's easier to place their actions. To be clear: I don't mean horoscopes or such nonsense. There's alot of maths in astrology and you can't compare that with the usual star-sign pulp in TV programmes.
Could you live without television?
Nah. I have a huge beamer in my New York apartment's bedroom. I love lying in bed, smoking and watching good movies more than anything. That is the only thing where I can really switch of other than sex. Lots of both, please. [laughs]
Reading isn't your thing?
I used to read alot, but now I'm unfortunately too lazy for it most of the time. Even on the plane you get a monitor and a huge selection of movies since a while now. But I still have a good reading recommendation: The New York trilogy by Paul Auster.
What's the most important invention for human kind?
Each century has it's own big invention and right now that is clearly the internet. Before that it was electricity, which made everything else like the light bulb and the elctric guitar even possible.
To which era would you most like to travel if there was a time machine?
I guess the sword and blade time as I always call it. Knights templar, 11th century. I can answer that this well, because I like to watch even stupid movies when they deal with that period. I just have a huge affinity to it somehow and would love to find out how things were going back then.
Do you have a phobia?
Other than the aforementioned fear of heights I have a phobia of snakes.
When did you cry the last time?
Now you got me. That is a huge problem of mine because I just can't cry. I think that is a pity myself, because crying is an outlet with which you let grief go. Maybe that's why my music is so important to me, it's like my tear duct and helps me to live out my feelings.
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- sorry for any spelling mistakes but I’m dyslexci and I can’t be bothered.
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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sometimes I think that they might just be friends, but little moments like this slip out and it seems much closer
I had to record this moment for Richard but the forehead smooch made it worth it 😭
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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Best cheerleaders ever!
L.A. 2022-9-23
But Olli is the best❤️
📽️ Credits to: lifad_ukraine ig
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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HE’S SO PRETTY
My pleasure and my pain…
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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he will always be dramatic <3
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ffs can he stop being so dramatic™ I LOVE HIM
bonus:
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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same paul, same
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it had a bigger impact on me than I thought…
Richard VS every girl in the village
yep, meme time!
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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Just Richard's ass without ant context
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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Keep the boobs out Richard!!!
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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l e g 
Richard listening to the crowd
Richard Z. Kruspe listening to the crowd chanting during Du hast, Berlin 04.06.2022.
Video by me (apologies for unsteady camera).
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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gothenburg 28.07
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chaoticpaperball · 2 years
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not even just, he wound up for more flair!
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richard z. kruspe - reise, reise (hellfest 2016)
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