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"I love Jennifer Lawrence more than farting."
-My boyfriend, Cards Against Humanity
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You can stand on your soapbox all night long but I just want to you know that it's made of cardboard.
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You can stand on your soapbox all night long but I just want to you know that it's made of cardboard.
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"All of my morals are wrapped in pickles."
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'"Favorite" and "redhead" don't usually go in the same sentence.'
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My cousin: What are bridesmaids?
My aunt: Someone who has to wear an ugly dress to make the bride look prettier.
My cousin: What if the bridesmaids are prettier then?
My aunt: They win the groom.
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My bat has scoliosis!
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The S in bisexual is for Supernatural
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Can you believe we are 27 Days away from 2022?!
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My aunt: How do y'all want your beds in the tent set up?
7 year old cousin: Don't care, do it your own way, girlboss!!
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"Can someone please get the pickle off of the floor?!"
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"It's never too early for teenage angst."
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Random classmate: I'm a quesadilla without the que and illa
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We project emotions, not movies!!
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Listen I hate the British monarchy as much as anyone but in 16 days Queen Elizabeth will have been ruling for 69 years and 69 days and that’s pretty baller ngl
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Did you just compare sex to beheading a chicken??
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