Tumgik
camtrouvaille · 2 years
Text
You were nervous but I said yes without hesitation. Before you could even open the little box my arms were around you. I said yes and congratulatory snow from the squirrels fell down upon us and a car horn had just stopped going off. There was a wet spot on your knee afterwards and our coffees waited in the snow. Forever seems like such a short amount of time when I think about spending it with you.
-C.C.
12 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 2 years
Text
My quirky math teacher grins and his graying ponytail sways as he scribbles the infinity symbol on the bored. He turns to look at us when he’s finished, looking smug. He points at it and declares “this isn’t a real thing.” An infinity does not exist, you can imagine it and try to fathom it but a forever is not real. It cannot ever contained, even with this symbol. But humans are so needy and their desire to have clarity and definitive answers is what put this symbol on something that does not even exist. He continues by saying it seems to give some people peace of mind, but only if they do not understand that everything eventually has an ending. Even a forever, or an eternity, or in this case an infinity. And for some reason that was just as comforting to me as my dad was on the day you left me.
-C.C.
6 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 2 years
Text
You know how when you wear the same piece of jelwery every single day, it slowly becomes a part of you. But then when you take it off you see how often you mindlessly twisted the ring or pulled at the necklace, you realize how reassuring it was, well that is what losing you felt like. It is like you were always there until you were not and I am constantly reminded of it when I roll to your side of the bed and it is cold after years of being warm.
-C.C.
279 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
I saw you for the first time in over a year. The last time you heard from me I was broken, desperate, and drunk. Somehow I expected you to be able to fix me. When I saw you this time it was somehow the same, but different. You walked up to me, put your arm around me and made your usual snide remarks. You pointed out my shaking hands and uneasy laugh. It was like nothing changed, except this time when I walked away I did not miss a thing.
-C.C.
19 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
I want to beg you not to go but I know it will not make a difference. You were set on leaving me the day you met me. You just stayed a little longer than you originally intended.
-C.C.
20 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
His hands have roamed more people than I care to think of. His lips leaving a trail of sins along every persons body he has used to fill his void. His conquests are far and wide and I know he does not love me like I love him. I know I should not feel special that he held me that one night, that he confided in me, or that he let me stay. He is cruel and alluring, a complete enigma. I have been told that the feeling of falling in love and the feeling of fear are similar. And when I am around him the lines are blurred and I do not know if I am infatuated or terrified. It all starts to feel the same, my pulse quickens, my hands become restless, my heart pounds, and I am not sure if I should take flight or give in. He can have me for as long as he wants me, though I know I will never be enough to fill that ever deepening void.
-C.C.
10 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
I knew within six months of meeting him that I would walk away from everything for him. My home, my family, my friends, my career. I would come to terms with the fact that he might not be there when I gave birth to our children and would possibly miss first words, first steps, birthdays and holidays. I would choose to continuously uproot our children and try my hardest to make every house we moved into a home. I even accepted the tragic reality that I could potentially become a widow, a single mother. All because of the exact words that I tell him every single night. “I love you more than anything”. Some may call this the most reckless thing I have ever done, but it isn’t, it’s safe. Because those are the most true words I’ve ever uttered. I would walk so he could fly.
-C.C.
20 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Sue Zhao
2K notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
You tell me to close my eyes while I am kissing you, but I am afraid that if I do, you might slip away. That when I open them I will realize it was all a dream.
-C.C.
22 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
I thought we would have forever. And maybe we did have a forever? A special moment in time carved out for us and only us. Maybe sometimes forevers just do not last as long as we’d like them to. But that shouldn’t take away from that person, memory, or moment. Because I would have lived through a million tiny forevers with you. Even if they all ended.
-C.C.
46 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
If I stayed with my ex, I would be married with kids right now and honestly I would be really happy, I know that. But I wouldn’t have met you or your sister or my neighbors or any of the guys I’ve dated in the past 5 years or any of the people I consider my best friends right now. And there are thousands of pictures I wouldn’t have taken and memories I wouldn’t have made and trips I wouldn’t have gone on and favorite outfits I wouldn’t have bought. And I wouldn’t live in this apartment and I wouldn’t have taken this job. I was so close to my entire life being completely different. My life that I’m in love with almost didn’t exist. That’s why I’m thankful for that breakup and all the worst moments of my life. Because I wouldn’t have what I have right now without every decision I’ve made leading up to today, even the bad ones.
691 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
You used to Kiss me slowly with your hands around my waist and now you do it with your eyes open and I wonder if you feel distaste. I once complimented your shirt and after you hardly ever took it off but now it hangs in the back of your closet, never to come off the hanger. You used to open the door for me and hold my hand in the car but now you are always in a rush and your hand only grips the steering wheel to avoid mine. I told you I loved you today and I think you pretended you didn’t hear me. I cannot help but wonder when you stopped.
-C.C.
50 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
It hurts because I used to buy shirts in your favorite color. And I used to clean my house before you came over. And you reminded me of Christmas even in April. And now I’ll never wear yellow again and I don’t care if you see empty wine bottles by my front door because I don’t even care if I ever see you again. And that’s scary because that’s evidence that I’ve changed. To my core. And I used to like who I was before.
1K notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
And I hope you don’t view me as the one who got a way, because I was never really meant to stay, I was never really yours anyway. I loved you though, so much that it destroyed me. You could’ve asked me to light myself on fire and I would have, with a smile and shaking fingers. You could have asked me to stay and I would have, with a smile and tears in my eyes. But you never did though and I am forever thankful for it. Because you could have returned and I would have been far too weak to stop you.
-C.C.
38 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
And I wonder if people break suddenly or over time? Do they shatter by a clumsy hand that drops them or do they slowly disappear as life’s problems erode them consistently day after day? Was it a bunch of tiny relentless things or was it just one giant tragedy that was your undoing? When did it become easier to give up than to hold on? When did it all become too much?
-C.C.
210 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
I thought he loved me effortlessly but then I realized he toiled at it every single day. And that only made me fall more in love with him. He woke up every morning and wanted to work for me, for us, even when it was not easy. Even when I was being unpleasant or difficult, he chose to love me without question, without doubt and full of stubbornness. And I will choose him and love him stubbornly every single day, without bounds for eternity.
-C.C. Find your stubborn lover
81 notes · View notes
camtrouvaille · 3 years
Text
I wish you wouldn’t look at me like you were preparing yourself to leave me. I wish you wouldn’t hold me as if you were hugging me goodbye. And I wish you wouldn’t kiss me as if you were trying to ingrain me into your memory for decades to come. I know you will walk away but I also know you will look back. Because you will remember me. I am easy to leave but I promise you I am not easy to forget.
-C.C.
38 notes · View notes