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#ugh #i know that feel bro

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The Decay of ancient knowledge

By Nick Lantz

      “considering that by such trade and entercourse, all things heretofore uknowne, might have come to light.”    —Pliny the Elder  

To cure a child of rickets, split a living

ash tree down its length and pass

the child through

        (naked, headfirst, three times).

Seal the two halves of the tree back up

and bind them with loam and black

thread. If the tree heals, so will the child.

        (The child must also be washed

        for three mornings in the dew

                       of the chosen tree.)

Two men

        (no, women)

            must pass the child through.

The first must say, “The Lord receives,”

and the second say, “The Lord gives.”

This is how you ensure a happy marriage:

This is how you keep the engine running:

A jackdaw or swallow that flies down

the chimney must be

                        killed. If it is allowed

to leave the house by a window or door,

a member of the family will

This is how, when your mother tells

you she’s going in for biopsy, to make

the growth benign:

Burn a fire and in the morning examine

the ashes for footprints, the image of a ring,

the likeness of a cat, a bed, a horse, a

This is how you keep from thinking of

the one thought you’re thinking:

Say your own name backwards three

(no four) times and turn around (keep

your eyes shut).

The unborn child must be called pot lid

or tea kettle until you hear its voice.

Carry a live bat around the house three

times, then nail it upside down outside

the window. This will ensure

If your mother calls you at 6 A.M. while

she eats her breakfast (do not eat after

7), this is how you can calm your voice:

This is how you say Good luck and mean

An egg laid on Sunday can be placed

on the roof to ward of fire and lightning.

If you put a stillborn child in an open

grave, the man who is buried there will

have a ticket straight to heaven.

Never sleep with your feet toward the door.

Do not sneeze while making a bed.

Step on a beetle, and it will rain. Bury it

alive in the earth for good weather. Put it

in your mouth and your loved ones will

When you see a dead bird lying in the road

you must spit on it.

If a rooster crows in the night, you must

go and feel his feet.

When a woman is in labor, all the locks

in the house must be undone, windows

and doors must be left ajar. This will

not prevent death but will quicken

the escape of the spirit if

If the ash tree remedy fails, bring the child

to a third

        (no, seventh)

                        generation blacksmith.

The child must first be bathed

in the water trough, then laid on the anvil.

Each of the smith’s tool’s must be passed

over the body, and each time one must

inquire what the tool is used for (no one

must answer). Then the blacksmith must

raise his hammer and bring it down (gently)

three times (four) on the child’s body.

                        If a fee is given

or even asked for, the cure will not

If the phone rings, this is how you answer:

This is how you say, How did it go?

#poetry #national poetry month

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More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

#batman #hee!

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au where instead of wanting to murder his own replacement, jason just decides to. replace somebody else. and that's now dick ends up in an increasingly ridiculous back and forth fight between himself and some random fucker who keeps showing up in a nightwing costume pretending to be him

dick's never been more pissed off in his life. theres literally nothing he did to deserve this, and now he has to fight for the vigilante persona HE created? it only gets worse because the more frustrated dick gets about the whole situation, the funnier this fake nightwing seems to find it.

it gets personal when damian starts calling the fake nightwing his big brother too. of course, jason was there first, but dick doesn't know that. and it's driving him fucking insane

he thinks that he's got the guy when he stands on top of a building in the middle of a massive fight, tries to do a quadrupal somersault, and promptly eats shit in front of everybody, but instead of realising he's a faker now the rest of the underworld thinks that nightwing's losing his touch.

he cries in alfred's arms at the injustice of it all.

#jason todd #i mean #it can't be worst than when he did it in canon #and turned into a tentacle monster #comics everybody!

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As a reward for helping with a problem, John Constantine wants to give Bruce a chance to talk to his parents. “I can only do one at a time, thought, so, who’s first?”

Bruce sweats, “That won’t be necessary.”

The batkids watch like ??? they’ve seen Bruce in every state a man could succumb and raise, but they’ve never seen him scared. Alfred calmly steps forward, “Please do.”

“No. Don’t.”

John “I don’t want peace, I want trouble, always” Constantine smells some opportunity for chaos and grabs it.

The result of that is the very angry spirit of Thomas Wayne fixing Bruce with the glare of the year, “You dropped oUT OF MED SCHOOL?!” The entire mansion seems to tremble.

Bruce yelps like a scolded cat and runs around the dining table, “I was busy with BATMAN—“

“ Che cazzo è un Batman, — Get back here! You were there a year, — Che cazzo fai, CHE CAZZO FAI?! Pack your bags, you’re going back.”

To the batkids’ absolute horror Bruce starts to cry, face watery and bright, and they finally understand what Alfred meant by tantrums. “Non voglio tornare indietro, papà!”

“Non mi interessa, cazzo, — wait till your mother hears about this, Harley graduated with HONORS. What exemple are you giving to my grandkids? Don’t — Don’t run, GET BACK HERE!”

Tim sweats in high school dropout, Dick sweats in cop, Jason sweats in drug lord, Damian sweats in art kid, and Stephanie just sweats in general.

“Should, uh… Should we help?”

“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen Jason this happy since the Queen died.”

#batman #but why is thomas wayne cursing in italian???

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TED LASSO | 2.11

#ted lasso

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I'm an open book. Everybody always seems to know my secrets before I know them myself.

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen in THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE (2013) dir. Francis Lawrence

#the hunger games

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#music #i was going to pick #let's stay together #but then i saw #midnight train to georgia #which is one of my all time top five favorite songs #so #polls

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LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

#we are lady parts #WOOHOO! #finally! #i guess i can't get rid of peacock quite yet

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“I’ll tell you something, I wrote this particular scene at 2 o’clock in the morning in my kitchen and I wrote ‘age of the geek, brother’ and I started crying at my counter. It was one of those moments where I’m like, am I really writing this scene?” - John Rogers, The Long Goodbye Job DVD Commentary

#leverage #ot3 #ot3: we change together

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Pedro Pascal and Lux Pascal at the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Peacock Theater on January 15, 2024 in Los Angeles, California

#pedro pascal #lux pascal #siblings!

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I don't think I believe that people in Sunnydale High School think of the Scooby Gang as "Buffy Summers and her weird friends".

I mean, yes, they know Buffy is (more than) a bit weird and has a history of violence, and they know that she's often at the center of lots of strange things that happen in the school. But if you forget what you know about vampires and the Slayer and look at the dynamics and personal histories of that group from the outside, there's exactly one person who connects them all together. And it's not the (ex?) arsonist and (ex?) gang member who recently transferred to Sunnydale from LA.

Everyone in Sunnydale High seems to know Willow Rosenberg, and everyone knows she's a huge nerd who (A) love libraries and (B) has something of a history of either tutoring (e.g. Rodney Muson) or otherwise hanging out with (e.g. Shelia Martini) some of the school's more violent and dangerous elements.

There's Xander Harris, Willow's best friend since kindergarten (and who, unlike Willow, doesn't really seem to have many other friends at all after Jesse mysteriously vanishes)

There's the (weirdly religious?) ex-aronist from LA who Willow seems to be tutoring in the library a lot (see B above) or who she's possibly recruited as muscle. Sheila and Rodney both mysteriously went missing one day too, so people aren't that surprised when Buffy does herself at the end of junior year.

There's the English librarian (see A above) that anyone who has seen Willow's locker knows Willow has a crush on

There's the computer science teacher that anyone who has been in class with knows Willow also has a crush on, who sometimes has Willow come in to class to help her run sessions for remedial students on the weekends and whose job Willow (somehow) takes over when she dies

There's Cordelia Chase, who Willow has a whole historical Thing with, probably going back to when they were little kids themselves. People say Willow hates her but they're always hanging out together (there's a persistent rumor that they once spent a whole night together in a closet, if you know what I mean) and Willow helped run her campaign for Homecoming Queen. Cordelia was secretly dating Willow's friend for a bit and some people say Willow was really, really upset when she found out; read into that what you will.

There's the mysterious older guy in a band who doesn't talk much and that Willow is apparently actually dating. (This isn't the same older guy in a band Cordelia was dating, but oddly enough it is the same band.) A few kids swear they've seen him naked and locked up in the library at night.

There are (again, from the outside) people like Willow's childhood friend Amy and Amy's friend Michael, who people might remember were once being investigated by the police for ritual murder before Amy mysteriously vanished

To the outside eye, the Scooby Gang are Willow Rosenberg and her weird friends.

(A lot of kids swear that one time they saw her hold the whole Bronze hostage and rip a girl's throat out with her teeth, but of course Principal Snyder hushed it all up and she was back at school the next day. He really doesn't want to have to hire a new computer science teacher this year.)

#buffy the vampire slayer

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Costume appreciation series: Barbie (2023) dir Greta Gerwig

Costume Design by Jacqueline Durran

#barbie #long post

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JUSTIN CHIEN by Troy Wang for men's uno Taiwan, February 2024

#justin chien #hey pretty

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Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem

My left hand will live longer than my right. The rivers of my palms tell me so. Never argue with rivers. Never expect your lives to finish at the same time. I think

praying, I think clapping is how hands mourn. I think staying up and waiting for paintings to sigh is science. In another dimension this is exactly what's happening,

it's what they write grants about: the chromodynamics of mournful Whistlers, the audible sorrow and beta decay of "Old Battersea Bridge." I like the idea of different

theres and elsewheres, an Idaho known for bluegrass, a Bronx where people talk like violets smell. Perhaps I am somewhere patient, somehow kind, perhaps in the nook

of a cousin universe I've never defiled or betrayed anyone. Here I have two hands and they are vanishing, the hollow of your back to rest my cheek against,

your voice and little else but my assiduous fear to cherish. My hands are webbed like the wind-torn work of a spider, like they squeezed something in the womb

but couldn't hang on. One of those other worlds or a life I felt passing through mine, or the ocean inside my mother's belly she had to scream out.

Here when I say "I never want to be without you," somewhere else I am saying "I never want to be without you again." And when I touch you in each of the places we meet

in all of the lives we are, it's with hands that are dying and resurrected. When I don't touch you it's a mistake in any life, in each place and forever.

--Bob Hicok

#poetry #national poetry month

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Justin Chien - Timid Magazine (January 2024) 📸: Henry Wu

#justin chien #hey pretty

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luminara after barriss coming out: oh, my darling. i'm so proud of you

*wears a shirt with "my kid is a they/them lesbian!!"

anakin after ahsoka coming out: OH MY FUCKING GODDDD THIS BITCH IS GAAAAAAAAAAY----

LMAO YEAH i mean its just realistic "coming out to your brother" vibes

(donation doodles! // tip jar)

#star wars #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #snips and skyguy #fanart