burnbr1ght

[burnbr1ght]

denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

it’s been awhile, but now i’m in even more pain

but maybe this is good for me

-

maybe this is just another of those times

where you leave for a moment and come back like everythings fine, pretending like everythings alright

because everything is always alright, huh? everything is fucking fine and dandy when you leave, right? it's not likee i worry about you.

maybe if i pretend i'm fine and calm...you'll come back. had i been less clingy and out of my damn fucking mindd, maybe you'd stay.

because who goes out at night looking for someone who doesn't want to be found?

maybe i am insane, maybe im just too annoying and clingy for my own good.

i've never been treated so kindly until i met you. you gave me something to look forward to when nothing else would. i knew it'd be over soon, but i never expected the coffins to be finished this quick.

you're on to something new, and im stuck here. please, keep me at least in some good memory. remember, should you need anything, i will always await at the woods where we met, waiting for your call.

for now though, with a cold body, i wave goodbye. but as how i wish for you to remember me, i hold you, my lovely, within my memories.

#poetry #queer poetry #mlm poem #mlm poetry #love poems #unrequited love

[burnbr1ght]

an invitation to runaway

runaway with me?

i'd go across the world if it meant you'd go with me. hell, i would go to the closest place possible if thats what you want.

we can explore the rays of warm sunlight of the state where dreams come true.

because my only dream is to be with you.

we can listen to stupid songs about running away from our place, songs about romance, and maybe we could sing our hearts out.

i could show you my city if you wanted, take you out to a lake, and count the stars in your eyes.

#poem #poetry #mlm yearning #mlm poems #mlm poetry #love poems #queer poetry #trans poetry

[burnbr1ght]

teniendo miedo al mundo

no puedo ponerme una chaqueta y pantalones negros por el miedo que tengo de crean que soy un delincuente

hablar en mi primera lengua ni puede pasar, ambo por el internet y la vida real; me da miedo de que me llamen frijolero o que me digan que me vaya a mi país.

pensamientos de terror de que los malos vengan y que se lleven lo que más quiero a sido algo que siempre a pasado.

desde que era niño me preocupo si mi acento está bien para los gringo.

los que deben de entenderme se burlan por como me trabo cuando hablo. aunque yo se lo que sienten.

no soy lo suficiente para mi gente, y no soy lo que piensan cuando los gringos piensan en una caricatura de un hispánico. aunque hablo el español y tengo la piel de mis pasados.

tengo miedo del mundo, y aveces parece que el mundo tiene miedo de mi.

soy un monstruo a los dos lados. entonces desde que era chico decidí crear un espacio para personas como yo.

frustrados de que no tienen un lugar de que no tengan miedo. de su propia gente y de los blancos.

a lo mejor así, ya no vamos a tenerle miedo al mundo

#poemas #poesia #poemas en español

[burnbr1ght]

untitled

he wishes he could just say what he feels, but he doesn’t want people to think he’s being sensitive.

nothing makes sense in his head, but everyone else has had it harder than him.

he truly wants to get better, but he doesn’t how to. he doesn’t want to sound like if he’s building excuses to seem lazy though.

the sponge in his heart grows heavy with every bit of water thrown at it. trying his best not to spill in front of everyone and have them all call him names.

the water has begun to spill, but every time it does, people yell and tell him he isn’t shit. privileged little bitch.

he’s living in a box now, drowning in his own sorrow while giving everyone a smile. waving and laughing, watching them all pour more and more problems into him. thanking them for their service.

what’s a little more?? what’s a little more?? what’s a little more?? what’s the point??

[burnbr1ght]

he’s felt like shit for so long, but he never wants to say. the leech on his shoulder tells him “youre so privileged to not have been hurt for so many days.”

the tear stained boy wished to argue, but he knows better and decides not to. he knows that he was never in so much pain, he just wishes people would understand that he has feelings too.

but that’ll never happen. that’s asking for too much. he doesn’t want to hurt anyone more than what they’ve been through. so he sucks it up like a sponge and smiles it away.

“fuck you!! you don’t have this!” she screams as she held the chest full of her pain. he looked down at his own and noticed that it wasn’t at all the same.

he tried to apologize but the it was far too late. she walked to the dark thunderstorm and stood under it, with people who understand.

he looked up to his own, feeling terrible for them all. feeling himself fall down to the wet hard floor, his tears joining the rain.

what’s a little more pain?? people have it worse anyway.

[burnbr1ght]

happy i’m

crowned as a therapist at an early age, could never be more grateful

happy so i’m

a mother softly handing her problems to a child, kindly asking why i’m so happy

happy happy happy ha p py not selfish

he’s laughing because he’s happy, never tired of always shows it.

the child doesn’t feel shame when he can’t come up with something

what’s more backwards?

a child being selfish or a mother not knowing of an actual therapist??

[burnbr1ght]

feb 14

i’ve never wanted to hold a boys hand so much until i met you

my hand falls cold as i long for the day i can feel your warmth

wishful thinking to even imagine you hugging me

tears of red hearts fall down my face as i remember

that i can’t just cup your face and kiss you, or have my hands lock themselves around your shoulders as we embrace

the safest i’ll ever be is with you, and i hope you think that of me

i’d love to invite you to dance with me

let our heartbeats match the beat of the music

make up our own dance because we don’t know which way to sway

maybe like that, we’ll have our own valentine’s day

#poems #poetry #mlm yearning #mlm poems #mlm poetry #love poems

[burnbr1ght]

a sons letter

i promise you that i still love you, i wish i could’ve answered answered those calls

am i still your son? even if i wasnt to begin with?

i promise you that one day, i’ll make you proud even though you always were

i’ll make all your sacrifices for me worth it

i hope that you live the life you deserve, because you’ve helped us so much

i’ve given myself something to remember you by, i hope you don’t mind that now we share something

you’re my best friend

‘til the end of the earth

[burnbr1ght]

this ones far shorter than my usual ones,, said what i said and i mean what i sa said

-

i can’t seem to stop thinkinga bout you. since the time of devils night i tried backing away but i can’t.

the devil sighs and looks the other way, disappointed in my choices.

the feeling of bats flying across my stomach and up my throat is what i feel when we speak.

my cold body welcomes the warmth you give, i feel myself fall asleep as soon as you hold me tight.

#poems #poetry #mlm yearning #mlm poem #mlm poetry #love poems

[burnbr1ght]

hospitals aren’t fun when you’re crying for dear life

staring at white walls isnt fun, and you know what else isn’t fun? getting to lay down on a shit bed as the xanax lets you feel nothing at all.

even without it, i feel nothing yet everything.

my mind is a ruin of thoughts and feelings to people and things. should i be angry at her for never listening or letting me speak? should i feel sorry for her because of the pain she went through?

i tense up the moment she hugs me. i feel selfish for making her cry but remember that she’s the one who landed me here.

tongue tied and crossed eyed at what i’m supposed to feel. i really wish that the world was as easy as black and white.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuc k fu ck f uck

i hate feeling selfish, and i hate having to cry about others

[burnbr1ght]

my boy

my boy my boy

let me hold your hand and tell you how much i would love to be the one to hold you when you’re feeling down

and be with you until the end the end the end the end of time, even then,i’ll still want to be the one you go to in your happiest days and when you feel like you’re about to drown

i would like to run my hand through your beautiful dark mocha hair, and tell you that we have no problem in the world

although i only have one problem

you’re in love with someone else that isn’t me

i genuinely hope that you’re happy

i’d give up my happiness just to see you smile

my boy, my boy who isn’t my boy

you’re so precious. you deserve all the good in the world. i would give you all the stars in the night sky if it meant i could see your beautiful smile. so warm and bright.

i’ll let you know how much you mean to me, bevause nothing makes me happier than knowing that i made you feel better.

my boy, my boy who i wish could be my boy

maybe one day, instead of pretending that you’re my stuffed animal, i could actually hold on to you.

#poems #poetry #mlm yearning #mlm poems #mlm poetry #love poems

[burnbr1ght]

just let it out

i only ever wished to please you, i don’t think i’ll ever accomplish that in my worthless life.

i wonder, how dare you ask me why i never vent to you, because whenever i do, it ends up with you crying and calling me a lazy, no good selfish child

the only reason why i hate myself is because i learned it from you. you never listened when i told you i needed help.

days and days i’ve cried, asking when will i ever be the child you wished to have. i’m everything you never wanted. i’m everything you hate. i’m a bastard child that was never hit with punches. i’m a pig that cried a lake by accident.

never the perfect daughter.

always the son in silence.

[burnbr1ght]

a poets painting in words

i can’t stop running my hands through his hair of soft mocha waves

how does one hold the earths colors in their eyes? a painter would sigh, not being able to capture all of your beauty ina single painting

i can only attempt to paint a portrait of you in words. though there aren’t enough words to be able to describe your beauty in an accurate way, my best chance is to try.

my love, your lips are the most fascinating shade of the pink sky in a sunset.

i long to feel the warmth in your hands caress my own.

stay close to me, so i can take in the feeling of an autumn day with the soft sun shining down that you radiate.

maybe if i hand you the reddest apple i can find from this farm, maybe i’ll be able to see the beautiful shining smile that you own. a smile so bright that the stars and sun could never recreate.

my mind wonders to how it’d feel to be able to have my arms wrapped around you, pretending that you’re a teddy bear. keeping each other’s company to get through the night.

night. when the sun goes down and everyone’s asleep, maybe we’ll get to run around and pretend that we’re the only ones to exist

#poems #poetry #mlm #mlm yearning #mlm poetry #mlm poems

[burnbr1ght]

para usted, mi amor

a poem in spanish, something we both know.. x

-

cada estrella que ves, es una razón en porque te quiero

si crees que te ves feo

yo haré todo lo que yo pueda para hacerte creer que eres el muchacho más lindo que e visto

cariño, yo creo que tú eres unas de las personas más interesantes que e conocido

te invito a mi cumpleaños porque mi único deseo es que nos vallemos del lugar que odiamos, podemos crear un espacio nuevo (si quieres), solo para nosotros

puede ser nuestro secreto

solo para nosotros

besos, abrazos, agarrados de la mano

yo iré adonde tú quieras

porque cuando estoy con usted

yo no tengo miedos

#poemas #poesía #poetry #poems #mlm poetry #mlm yearning

[burnbr1ght]

be proud ??

gotta love childhood trauma, right ??

-

“selfish littlebitch huh?

fucking crying about things that shouldn’t affect you. feeling horrible for the bad and the good. not knowing the social cues.

didn’t you know that this isn’t a fucking fantasy world you created in your head?

get out of your head. get out of your head. get out of your head. what are you? stupid? dumb? goddamn fucking failure.”

i’m sorry !! i let out my tears of tiredness and hurt. my fragile feelings are bleeding out again. listen please i’m pleading all i ever wanted was to make you proud.

“.”

are you proud?

“.”

aren’t you happy i’ve sacrificed my maggot brain for a perfect grade ?! gave my tears away to make you feel at peace ?! LIED MY WAY AND FELL DOWN TO MY KNEES JUST SO I CAN HEAR THOSE WORDS FOR YOU.

“.”

you’re a galaxy and i’m in the milky way galaxy. that’s how close i am to being you. im perfect perfect perfect !! just like you !!

[burnbr1ght]

my worst lies are the ones that were made by invisible gloves with plastic and rubber bands, a piece of gum keeping them together.

the only thing that wasn’t a lie was a handcrafted crown with a ruby so bright, that the light of the stars are ashamed to shine. a crown i had hoped to give you by the witching hour on devils night

upon the dark hour of devils night, i stopped dead in my tracks as i saw you dancing with a masked stranger.

you looked so beautiful under the moonlight, your autumn eyes glistening with the smile of a delicately carved pumpkin as you danced with the mask stranger.

tears of sorrow filled what would be my heart, a cloud of rain quick to follow.

i could never intrude on who or what makes you happy, so i ran.

the day after, i awoke in my coffin. opened it to see the crown mocking me for my foolishness. red candles surrounding a clear message sent from the devil himself.

“though your heart is young and dumb

i admire your passion.

i’d grant you a working lung,

and a beating heart,

but obviously you haven’t learnt your lesson,

i know you didn’t want his blood, you just wanted reciprocated love.

when is it, that you’ll understand

a broken heart still exists, even when you’re dead?”

#poetry #poems #mlm poems #unrequited love

[burnbr1ght]

the broken hearts club

at this point, i believe my brain is a masochist or something for how much pain it loves to put me through

-

it’s always the same

i keep telling myself these lies that will forever hurt me, but at this point i think my mind has told itself that it likes the pain it gives me

i am my worst enemy

i am my worst enemy

i am my worst enemy

my mind always gets the best of me

broken hearts club closes at seven

i’m glad you’ve made my reservation

alone at a table, drinking down the hurt

i wish i didn’t fall fast

although this isn’t the first

my sore throat calls out in thirst for something softer

i hope he brings you laughter

#poetry #poems #mlm yearning #mlm poetry