bugsy-maria - Tumblr blog

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Text

... Even at the start...

Pairing: Doctor x Reader

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 (this)

This academy wasn’t like most, where many kids around the age of 9 are learning math's and reading, these children were staring right into all of space and time. A dark abyss where every outcome can be seen by these children. They know what happens next, what has happened well beyond their time, and what is happening on the other side of the universe.

But this part of the story isn’t about time and space, it's about a little girl Time Lady who had comfort and traded it for a loss all because she wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt eating her up inside. Now this is not to say that this story won't ever be about time and space, trust me we will get there. Just know that even all of time and space has its time and place.

Now just for future reference this girl is you, (y/n). you have been a one for a good portion of your life, you never had a sustainable feeling of comfort, but the Acadamy was the opposite of the life you had lived for the first couple of years.

Just about everyone at this school knew not to talk to you, not because you were closed off but rather because they thought that you were too weird to talk to. Even though you never gave off that energy or even did anything to cause that reaction. In fact, you were the most extroverted person in the whole school. Making it your mission to have at least one friend, at least one person to be there for you.

You met one boy who was kind of closed off but well liked. He didn’t mind your company, so you got attached. You would drag him to look at the sky with you well passed your curfew, you had your own little spot at the top of one of the many buildings in the area. The bright stars were almost painful to look at, but their beauty enchanted you in a way that made it just about completely impossible to look away.

He was quite a large portion of the time whenever you dragged him out and about but that didn’t stop you from having him around every time you wanted to look up at the sky. Over time he grew to like you a bit more and started to talk more. Still, he was more of a listener, but not so much in a way that made him seem disinterested in what you were saying, but rather scared of whatever might happen. You wouldn’t find this out till much later when you were both in your 6th year at the academy. You had met him a couple days after he looked into the time vortex, and much like you, it scared him so much he ran.

He hadn’t been the same after he saw that, too scared to talk. You, on the other hand, had gotten scared of knowing exactly what would happen that you sought out to create your own worlds where those things that were said to happen simply didn’t. You created your own destiny in this world which made dealing with the fear easier to manage.

He then started to tell you about all of the things he wished to do but they never passed the planet you both called home. He wanted a simple job and to have a wife and kids with a good childhood. He didn’t really want to explore, not the stars or the planet, he just wanted a simple life.

You wanted to travel to the stars. You wanted to carry adventures on your shoulders while saving new worlds and making history. You wanted to put out any fire in your way but also wanted to watch stars spit flames out into the vast emptiness of space. You wanted the world, stars, galaxies, and the whole universe in your hands. It would be enough to have just that. All of the time and space at your convenience was all you needed to be happy.

You knocked on this boy's door one night, just like every other night that you wanted to see the stars. This boy had learned to be prepared for any surprise visits by you because you were quite indecisive about whether you were in the mood to look up at those balls of fire. He opened the door and slid out already knowing why you were knocking on his door that late at night.

The walk was always quieter than expected mostly because once you both made it to the roof, you were chatting like no tomorrow. But this moment of quiet was what you both needed. Also, you were both out of your rooms well passed curfew, so you really needed to be quiet. You would both be walking with slow quiet steps, doors were opened and closed with such precision making sure it didn’t make the slightest noise.

Once you both had made it to the roof you started laughing amazed that you had got away with it yet again. The boy had never once laughed at this, instead he just stares at you with a small smile graced upon his face. A creak was heard from another building which caused him to smack his hand on your face so whoever had made such a noise would be none the wiser to two students out passed curfew.

He removed his hand from your face and put a finger over his mouth to signal you to keep quiet. You both walked over to your little corner of the roof which had grown some decorations over the years. A thin blue blanket was sprawled on the ground, a small bowl filled with different candies from your universal cultures class you took last semester, and a travel sized telescope that the boy had managed to nick from his parents' drawer before he left for the academy all sat in the far corner behind the door of the roof.

You laid out the blanket to cover a portion of the roof top that you then sat on. The boy followed suit already having the routine down like the back of his hand. You both leaned down onto your backs almost simultaneously, both taking in the sight of the stars before either one broke the silence.

“Tell me why you don’t want to go out there again?” you ask the same question at least once a month just to verify that he doesn’t want to still. You want him to. Change his mind because as much as you say that you don’t care whether he stays here or goes out there with you-

“It’s too risky, plus I have everything I would ever need here.” He says it so simply as though anyone would agree with him. But you don’t see it, you know that he has many comforts here and you don’t, maybe that’s why he finds it so easy to stay when all you want to do is leave. “You know this, so why do you keep asking?”

He had the most wonderful eyes; they held the most amazing things. The eyes that stare at you is the newest of new and have not been tainted with the wisdom and sights that the elders held in their eyes. You knew that they would change one day, hell your will too but those eyes are worth looking at.

Like the stars in the sky for instance, one day all those stars will die and then be replaced with new ones. At that point, it is entirely different sky, just like how this man will die then be replaced with a new set of peepers. But in this moment, they were beautiful, and this is what you want to remember when you die for good. This moment, and any other moment that follows with him in it.

You bob your head to the side, so you lock your eyes with his. He always looked peaceful now, which was a complete 180 when compared to how he was when you first kidnapped him from the comfort of his room. The first time you both had done this he was sweating a storm and his breathing was labored and uneven, plus he would not stop listing out all the consequences you two would face together. You both only stayed out for about 20 minutes, and to this day you are surprised that you even lasted that long.

“Just want to see if you changed your mind yet.”

“Or you just want to see if I would ever go with you.”

“Nope, never”

“Yes, you do, you don’t want to leave me.” The smile on his face widened as he sang his sentence in a teasing voice.

“Absolutely not! I can survive just fine without you!” You looked back at those stars with the very same expression of amazement. He sits up and tilts his head to look at your face

“If you want me to go with you, all you have to do is ask nicely.”

“Shut up.” you groan out, you playfully push him over.

“You know I’m just playing right?”

“Of course, I do.”

“I mean even if you did ask, I would never want to travel with you.” the smile on his face radiates within his words.

“Shut up! I am a delight!” It is now your time to smirk just like him.

“The naming ceremony Is tomorrow; what name do you think you’ll get?” He always changed the subject, mainly because he never was good at remembering things in this regeneration, so he had adapted to just asking and talking about things as soon they came into his mind.

“Something like traveler, or tourist, oh or dreamer! Dreamer has a nice tone to it do not you think?”

“Absolutely, you would get something like that. I mean with your air headedness I would be surprised if you did not.” he said with a laugh. That is another thing you could not help but notice about him, his laugh was like a baby’s laugh to a mother. Or like the sound of your name getting first place in a competition you worked hard on. His laugh was one you would never forget, his was one that you will remember randomly thought your life whenever you perform a mundane task. His laugh was a symphony. “What name do you think they’ll give me?”

“Probably something normal like Baker, or Farmer, or Uninteresting.”

“I’m not that boring.”

“You kind of are though.”

That night ended like the ones before it, with you both laughing until your sides hurt. You both ended up having a hard time going down those stairs leading up to the roof and down to the dorms. You both went back to your own rooms, the stars still lingering in your eyes as you do.

Your flame lights emit a soft glow onto the nearby objects within your room. You were fortunate enough to get your own room this year which meant that you were safer than the boy because he did have a roommate. This made sneaking out easier for you than it did him, however his roommate has done many things that could get him in trouble which means that the boy can sneak out in exchange for keeping the roommate's secret.

The rest of the night was the same as any other, you where you left off in your work. You don’t completely remember what the assignment was about, but you worked on it absentmindedly already knowing what to write about. Kinda like the work was too easy for you, but really it was because you were too busy living a better life in your head.

You were always like that, no one really took too much notice of it because you were like that all the time. Always thinking of what more life had in store for you, kind of like putting yourself into a story you create.

The morning after was going to be an interesting one. Everyone in the academy was buzzing with uneasiness, barely listening to one another as the sound of the drums consumed their hearing. You on the other hand aren’t too worried about the outcome of today, for you it was just another day. You know what you want to do with your life and nothing that happens today with quench that thirst you have for traveling.

So, for you it was just as normal of a day as others just by the end of it you will no longer be able to tell people your actual name, you would have to tell them your title instead. You quickly scan the large hall filed with other Time Lords and Ladys much like you, until your eyes land on a familiar mop of light brown. But what you noticed almost at once after is that he was walking out of the room and following one of the admins.

You quickly dart to the boy not thinking clearly, but just knowing that it was going to be something wrong. But this boy never got in trouble which is what really made this experience have an uneasy feeling in your gut.

“Stop!” You were closer now, still running a couple steps till you were right where they were. “What are you doing? He hasn’t done anything wrong!” The hall filled with students was now around the corner in the long hall you now stood in.

“(y/n)” the boy tried to interject; he didn’t want you to get in trouble. This was the only boy that knew your fears and he didn’t want to lose you to them.

“No! This boy is completely innocent! He didn’t do a thing, he’s the most well-behaved student there is here!”

“He snuck out passed curfew.”

“I made him! It’s my fault, punish me! Not him!”

“(y/n) no.” you don’t think that you have ever heard that tome in his voice but there it was. Right there in the air just hanging there until you listened.

“Fine,” the teacher let go of his arm and grabbed onto you, pulling you closer to their side than where you were previously standing. “Go back to the hall.”

“But you sh-”

“I said go.”

The net couple of minutes there was a shared eerie silence between both you and the teacher as you made your way to the disciplinary actions you were now forced to face. Rumors were common amongst the students as in most schools, there were quite a few fan favorites. A popular one this particular week was the Zybroneez that passed by the field more than usual this week were actually dead timelords that died in the last time lord. This rumor may be more of an urban legend but there's more, apparently Catherine, a Time Lady a year above you, were walking past the giant, gentle creatures and she saw them pass.

That’s how the ‘rumor’ started and then it got out of control and now she's part Zybroneez, but a much older rumor, but kind of urban legend, was a much darker one. No one was really able to tell the rumor because no one had experienced it, well not really. The rumor is that when you get in trouble for breaking an unbreakable rule or get three strikes then you get punished. But not detention, something much worse, some guy back in the early days of the school having been built a student had gotten in trouble and was seen getting thrown into the time vortex. According to another student this student's biggest fear was leaving their family behind, and so the admin made it happen.

Your biggest fear was going to become more than a fear with this punishment. This was bad for you because you didn’t think that you would be able to bear your greatest fear. But by the looks of it that seems to be what you will end up facing.

That agonizing fear is growing within you as you get closer and closer to said fear, all of those grand events shared with that boy, all of those classes filled with laughter as you tried another mysterious food that turned your skin purple, and the smell of poppy flowers enveloped your senses. The soft pitter patter that tapped your head as that cloud delicately dropped water onto the skin of your forehead. That sight above you as you looked up at the sky, that cloud and those stars that you once thought of traveling around with your best and only friend. No one else occupied your life so you just wanted to take him away with you and travel the universe.

But with one word all of it was lost, the last you ever heard in this life solidified the significance of this life. This life was no longer of any importance to that boy, to Galifray, to the neighboring worlds, or to the universe for that matter. All because of one word, one name, one title.

“Doctor.” was the last word you heard before this life was thrown out of your grasp and into the time vortex.

Tag List (ask to be added :))

@alicefallsintotherabbithole

#x reader #fanfic #10th doctor #doctor who #doctor who x reader #tenth doctor #angst #doctor who fandom #doctor who fanfiction #11th doctor #13th doctor #12th doctor #9th doctor #14th doctor #bbc #bbc doctor who #childhood memories #childhood friends

36 notes · View notes

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Text

the thoughts of creating a graphic novel instead of writing because writing is too hard but god graced you with 0 artistic ability is a different kind of pain :(

#bugsy lied again #fyp

1 note · View note

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Note

Tysm! It works for me! I’ll wait patiently! I also wanted to add that a random boner would also be very funny in the story lol! Take your time! I’m a very patient person and I trust you! Also in October is my birthday so I’ll take it as a present lol! Once again, tysm! I really appreciate it !!

I swear to god that I have it and its half finished!!!! But yeah I can do that for you boo ;)

#bugsy lied again

0 notes

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Note

hey, are you ever gonna write about jonah simms again? just wondering!!

so sorry not sure how long this has been in here... but I don't think so mainly because I find it hard to write in general. I have one more request I have to finish and then I don't think I'll take them again for a while because depression kinda sucks joy out of everything.

#bugsy lied again

0 notes

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Text

Just figured out thatI haven't posted a story for about a year so... huge shoutout to the 300+ of you guys that waited that long lol rawr XD

#bugsy lied again

0 notes

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Text

also y'all better not like that fic too much cause then ill feel pressured to write consistently and then I'll disappear for 2 years again

#bugsy lied again

0 notes

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Text

It may have taken forever but i got it, I'm a liar about the time and also everything else :)

This is how its supposed to end, always has been...

A/N: not to have a cliche authors note but sorry for the late update but my Grandma and hedgehog died so I wasn't home like at all to upload and proofread this writing but know that it was finished on time :)

Pairing: Doctor x Reader

Chapter 1

The room had been covered in a thick fog that can only be best described as one of the clouds that you once looked up at in the night sky. The very same cloud you had seen time and time again whenever you snuck out to go stargazing under the deep abyss you at some point in time connected to your home. But now that sky is gone, now your home is gone, now that cloud is gone but somehow it followed you across the stars. Across planets, across galaxies, across the universe.

You never had asked for much; you just wanted a way back, and by the looks of the situation, you were going to lose that dream too, just like those stars, and that home, and that night.

“One day I’m going to dance across the stars.”

You always had the habit of sneaking out, especially with a little boy who had gone to the same school as you. The only problem was that he had been more in touch with reality than you, even if all he wanted to do was run away.

“Why would you want to do that? You could die and no one will be able to find you!”

He always cared too much, and maybe that was why you were drawn to him. He was all that you needed to realize that you weren’t alone in this massive game of living and dying, of being successful and being a failure. He was that fine line between being alive and living for you, and you knew just from meeting him for the first time that you would never let him go.

“Have you ever seen people dance? They move with such grace, just gliding across time and space with that one person that means more than any minute or planet can mean to them.”

You had seen bad things before, and since then you hadn’t been the same. Always in that cloud and never on the ground. Too caught up in the dream of being a part of something more. And so, you were. You were a part of something more. Yet you yearned for something worth more than any minute or planet.

“Who would you dance with?”

“Someone special.”

The dreamy look in your eyes wasn’t ever unusual but you never looked at others with those eyes when in a conversation. Talking keeps you somewhat grounded, not quite having the grass wrapped around your skin, but not quite engulfed by a murky cloud of some other world.

Now it seemed as though that day had been lost from within that cloud for the entire duration of your life. The stone under you had been growing colder to the point where it felt like water had been pooling from the ground around you. You had known it was supposed to end like this, even in your bardo-like state. It ended like this for everyone you knew. Well not exactly everyone, I mean not everyone dies on the other end of the universe from where they grew up, you had known a few that died from plague, a few from sword fights gone wrong, and even one unfortunate day where a close friend of yours had gotten a boulder thrown on 'em.

Despite this, however, you had dreamed this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. You quite enjoyed the possibility that you could change destiny, and in many situations you had. Still, it ends the same way.

You watched everyone you knew die the same way (gruesome). Except for that one boy. You saw him just a couple of days ago. Those eyes looking back at you as you make yet another problem for him is burnt into the back of your eyelids. Every blink has that look of disappointment. That look of sadness, and that look of loss. It's almost as though he was sad at what you had become. But that did not matter now. What mattered was the escape plan you must create to survive. To escape whatever sentence destiny had written for you.

Why can’t you do that? Just do that, it is not that difficult! Just get out of your head for one second and figure out how to survive this! It is not that hard! Please! Just survive this!

Your hands scrape at the metal walls in hope of at least some type of grip to pick yourself up. The blood that drips out of you is fast, faster than you had ever run in your entire life. You had been running your whole life, to a point where-

You are doing it again. Get out of your head!

Your feet trudge against the stone floors, one hand grasps the wall for dear life while the other is placed on your wound for stability. Or placed on the wall for stability and grasping your wound for dear life?

You are slipping.

The only motivation you have is that sky, that boy, those eyes that shine like stars but laced with fear. The adventures you could have had if you had just been thinking about him to, it’s taken you to be at the brink of death to realize that he had lost his home too. It wasn’t just you. You should have gotten out of your head.

Look up at a sudden noise being created down the hall. You see just the person you had wanted to be. The smoke in the halls is getting heavier signaling that the fire has spread closer to you. That did not matter to you though as you were right there. Right where you needed to be, and so was he. The light shining from the new home you had created with him was right in front of you.

Just a couple more steps and you are right there with him, that is all you need. Just a few more steps and you would have officially cheated death.

You never cared for many people, but that boy was one of the few that managed to slip through the cracks. You had followed him since you saw him for the first time, and you would continue to do so till you’d reached the end of the universe together. The only problem is that he would never do the same for you.

When you saw him for the first time on Earth after you got sent there, he was with this blonde girl, and he looked at her as though she was the single most important thing in any universe. You used to think that he would never be able to feel that way for anyone because the only person he was comfortable talking to was you and when you became lost you just assumed that he would become completely closed off, but this didn’t seem to be the case. Anyone with eyes could see that he was in love with that girl and that she was infatuated with him as well.

They were at a shopping center together and you couldn’t help but want to run up to him. The only thing that stopped you was that one smile he used to only give you, just this time it wasn’t for you but instead for her. Your heart couldn’t accept this, so to keep yourself from any more heartbreak you walked away and back to the place you have grown to live in.

You would call this shack your home, but it lacked any and all emotions that went with having a home. It lacked the feeling of love and care, that feeling that you had only felt momentarily in your life before you had gone and messed everything up again. That feeling you knew you may never have again.

The image of that boy, now a man, with that girl now filled your mind, and for days after, your every waking moment. That feeling of care that you hadn’t felt since you were a child starts to remind you of the hole within you that you had to ignore.

The pain reawakened something in you, a feeling that you didn’t quite know of yet but the people around you had called it love. The sweaty palms, increased heart rate, the giddy feeling that showed through that smile you couldn’t quite contain on your face were all things that the humans on earth called love. You know that you can’t let this feeling go, what will happen if you do?

Turns out you can’t cheat death when death wasn’t playing the game you thought it was playing. You thought death was just going to make you die, you didn’t think it would be a fun game, but it was a game, nonetheless. But death was playing a game where he dangles the last option in front of you as you limp to your presumed safety. He then took it away and watched as you lost the last thing you had left in your life. Yeah, not a fun game, but a game, nonetheless.

And that’s what he did. He took the last ray of hope you had left. That light dimmed and so went the man you had been in love with, and he would never know. Would it be best if he did know or if he remained ignorant to the desperate pleas of something more coming from your eyes. Pleas may be the wrong word for it as your eyes seemed to scream the words, “Please just love me back!” but he never noticed.

His eyes on the other hand had recited the name of every person he had watched die. All the people he killed, as the only death he ever saw was the death he caused. You saw what his eyes said, but he always thought You were lost in your head when you looked at him. And you were, just not in the way he thought you were. You were lost in him and all that he was breathing, You were in the clouds, but that cloud was now him. A bright cloud of warmth was now a fading memory as he walked away from You with a copy of the blonde girl.

It wasn’t her, she got lost quite a bit ago, but any girl he picks up to travel with starts to look like her. The same look in their eyes, the same expression when he shows them a new planet, and a completely different expression when he starts to go on and on about the history of the atmosphere of the Phythoria planets at 200 mph. They all looked like her and he looks the same at them the same way that he looks at you. It's not fair that you’re the only person he can now be with, but he doesn’t want anything to do with you. It's just not fair.

Just like how it's not fair that he is leaving you like a stray dog that he got bored with because of that new dog that follows him just as happy as you once had. The bumps of your spine painfully slide down the burning metal wall as the smoke blanketed a new cloud over you. A cloud where you can’t see that man leave anymore, only the hue of the disappearing TARDIS.

But that hue was soon replaced with a brighter light of fire that in only a matter of minutes would have you all to itself. The burning in your side hurt less and less as the sweet burn of the black ash crept up your nose and into your airways. Mimicking the same burn that you felt when you first realized your feelings for that runaway man.

You could cheat death one more time by making him think that he has you under his boot but really you planned him to do that which is why you have a teleporter on your wrist that will put you back on the TARDIS with that man you love. That’s why he left you, it's because he knew that you would be able to save yourself. He knew that you were strong enough to survive. And then you can run away again and travel to the stars. You can have that one last dance with him on different planets and different time periods and then you can finally be with him under those stars one last time.

You can tell him that you love him, and he loves you too and then you can just hold each other until you lose track of time and space and a sense of being. Because in that moment you both will mean more than a minute, more than a planet to each other.

Yeah, you are slipping.

#bugsy lied again

77 notes · View notes

bugsy-maria · 8 months

Text

This is how its supposed to end, always has been...

Pairing: Doctor x Reader

Chapter 1

You never had asked for much; you just wanted a way back, and by the looks of the situation, you were going to lose that dream too, just like those stars, and that home, and that night.

“One day I’m going to dance across the stars.”

“Why would you want to do that? You could die and no one will be able to find you!”

“Have you ever seen people dance? They move with such grace, just gliding across time and space with that one person that means more than any minute or planet can mean to them.”

“Who would you dance with?”

“Someone special.”

Why can’t you do that? Just do that, it is not that difficult! Just get out of your head for one second and figure out how to survive this! It is not that hard! Please! Just survive this!

You are doing it again. Get out of your head!

You are slipping.

Just a couple more steps and you are right there with him, that is all you need. Just a few more steps and you would have officially cheated death.

Yeah, you are slipping.

77 notes · View notes