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blossom765 · 8 months

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RED, WHITE, & ROYAL BLUE MOVIE REVIEW

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE AND BOOK!

So, i just saw Red, White, and Royal Blue movie and it waaaaaaaaaassss

Disappointing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It wasn't bad. It wasn't abhorrent. But, it had one too many scenes that made me go "Aw. Oh come on! Why?!"

I'll preface this by saying I read the book a long time ago and yet I still remember it as one of my favorites. I obviously was not expecting them to make a complete copy of the book for the movie. I don't really care if a movie is a one to one retelling of a book. But, when your changes are, instead of improvements, detriments, that is when I wish you had either used something from the source material or thought a little more about how you could make a good change.

Let's get this started so I can explain in detail.

First, what I liked. And by liked, I mean loved. The sexy scene in the Paris hotel. And I'm not saying this because of smut and I love smut. I'm saying I loved this because this looks like an actual fairytale. This sensual scene looks like what I've been looking for. A queer movie with a fairytale storybook atmosphere. The lighting, the bedding ( as if they were making love in a king bed in a palace ). How quiet and soothing the characters voices are. How slow their movements are. It felt like this could have come out of Disney golden age. Movies like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty have this art, music, character movements that feel so graceful. Like it was water moving. I swear if Cinderella had an intimate scene, it would look just like the Paris scene. That scene was might be the epitome of romantic sensual scenes. I hope more romances take notes, especially if they are going for a fairytale vibe.

And now, what I didn't like.

June/Nora. If you didn't know, June, who was Alex's sister in the books, is now Nora, Alex's friend and granddaughter to the vice president. I'm still not sure why this change was made. Some have theorized was because Henry already had a sister and they didn't want to do the same with Alex. Well, whatever the reason, it seems unnecessary considering how little Nora had to do. I've been a yaoi anime fan for years and I've witnessed that some of the biggest criticism is how bad the female characters are. They're either scheming or just cheer leaders and nothing else. I appears that only Nora but, Bea, fell into this trope. In the book, June might still have been a secondary character but she still has more to do. She was working as a journalist and as she was also the child of Ellen and Oscar, she felt some the stress that Alex had ( in the book ) from their parents divorce. She also took part in the pr stunt and dated Henry when the emails were leaked. Bea's backstory of being a drug addict and being called "powder princess" was also removed. And I just hate it. These female characters had their own history and lives. They were not just there to tell Alex and Henry "oh, you love him" "oh go for it", they actually existed outside of them. If people hate female characters being boring cheerleaders in action movies, in romcoms, they aren't going to like it just because its a queer rom com this time. Bea went into drugs after her father's death. She still gets bullied by it. She has her own life and struggles to live through in the book, even as a secondary character. The only reason she went to rehab was because Henry was so scared to lose another family member and be more alone in the world after he told her it was gay. This was a way for Bea to be supportive without her character being reduced to boring cheerleader. Lord, she even sat far away from the meeting with Henry's grandfather. That is how far removed she is and how little she needed to be there and it's just so frustrating. There's also Bea's and Henry's mom who is only mentioned once and that is when Henry says he can't talk to her because she's either hunting elephants or doing some charity for elephants. I genuinely do not remember. I think that was her one mention in the movie. In the book, she was detached from kids but she had a good relationship with them before her husband died. And she steps up and stands up to her mother to protect her kids. She changed as a person. Even if it was off-screen ( well, off-page ) she had her own development as a character. And it showed just how Henry and Alex's relationship changed the people around them for the better. Their relationship was changing the world and right in front of us, it changed his mother. June/Nora, Bea, and Bea's and Henry's mom just had nothing. This change was most definitely not an improvement.

It also drove me crazy just how fast this movie was. There are montages where there really shouldn't be. Like the hospital montage or the getting to know each other montage. I would much prefer if there were less montages and more more on screen developments. Show conversations between Henry and Alex growing as friends. Show the book convo where Henry is talking to a cancer patient about star wars instead of just showing Alex watching him talk to a cancer patient in a conversation we can't hear. Small things like that show more about Henry and show Alex, and thervy, the audience that Henry is more caring towards people than he lets on. A montage does not do a good enough job of that. It just feels your trying to skip through matieral. I get that this is a movie and you don't have much time to work with but could really not afford a few more conversations. Ugh, seriously, Amazon should have just made this into a mini series or something. And how a lot of changes in the characters just felt so random. Let's take Alex's confusion after Henry kissed him on New Year's. He has a talk with Nora and she asks him if he liked it. And this makes him question if he likes Henry. Then Henry and him meet again at a party and the White House and they start making out. What I can't figure out is what Alex wants out of the situation. Is it love? Is it exploration? It just moved so fast that it's hard to pick up on what kind fo realization Alex reached. If it was love, even with the little time they had, they could have showed Alex realizing he might be romantically into Henry. Let's say before he talks to Nora, Alex goes for a quiet walk in the park. He wonders what that kiss was. And he imagines Henry walking right next to him. And he really enjoys Henry's company. He likes when Henry smiles, when he laughs, when he teases him, etc. After that scene quiets down, he goes to Nora and tells her about the kids and there they have a talk about Alex liking the kiss. Because we just established how he would love to walk with Henry just canoodling, we can understand that he clearly liked Henry kissing him. You can't just say he liked the kiss, you have to show. Show don't tell, is one of the biggest rules in romance. I'd argue more than most genres. Because romance is often about internal feelings and realizations. You have to make the audience feel with your character. You can't just say the character felt something, especially at something as pivotal as the first kiss. You have to show us the realization.

There's also another realization they didn't put. When Henry is singing karaoke and then we shoot back to Alex. All they needed to do was slow things down and focus on a change of expression from Alex, showing he's reached a realization. This scene is supposed to be after his mom tells him he needs to know whether or not it's forever with Henry. All you needed was a few seconds of quiet and slowness. And there is also another scene where the movie went too fast. When Alex confronted Henry and when Henry comes to a realization he wants Alex. In the book, Alex is yelling at Henry until he gets quiet and tells Henry that if he wants Alex to leave, he has ro tell him to leave. We go though a lot of emotions in this book scene. It waits for a few seconds. With Henry in Alex's face and Alex telling Henry, nice and slow, to tell him to leave until Henry starts kissing him. In the movie, Alex says Henry has to tell him to leave but there's no big voice changes, no emotions like anger and intense stubbornness. The characters feel like they are exercising the same amount of emotion throigh the whole movie. Alex and Henry cry ( not yell, very little push and tug, just sad, not really a spectacle of emotions from a scene that supposed to be about getting everything out ), Alex says tell me to leave, Henry says please don't, and theygo to the museum. This scene does show how Henry wants a private life without people gawking at him but then Alex plays their song, they start dancing, and Henry says he's in. That's it. There's no reason he's in after saying how much he wants a more private life, he just says he's in. Then we follow with Alex getting on the plane and Henry giving him his ring and Alex giving him his key. I don't know what to say for this other than it's just so boring. At the very least, they could have soared a few minutes to do that scene from the book with Henry holding Alex's hand and saying he 100% in and Alex unfolding his hand to find the ring. If a romance scene actually includes swapping important valuables, you need to actually show that this is a big deal. Not just, here's something to remember me by, which can also be a sweet heart felt scene but this scene just felt like they were trying to finish it up. Just slow down a little bit.

Now on to Philip. You know, the one who did get to sit in for the meeting and say something while Bea sat away like a child that didn't know anything. Anyway, he didn't have much to do in the book either. However, without him knowing, he convinced Henry to start a real relationship with Alex. After Alex storms the palace ( yes, it was a storming in the book and I love that because it actually shows this scene is supposed to be different from the others and signal that these characters are about to reach a different stage in their story and romance) and Henry and him make love, Henry goes out for a jog and runs into Phillip. They have a talk about how Philip has to start working on the heirs he and his wife need to create even though he doesn't like children. And Henry realizes Phillip's not even miserable, he's fine with all of it. He's completely fine. And Henry realizes he doesn't want to live that lofe of just being "fine". That whole thing is summed up in Alex saying "nothing will ever happen to you". I guess they figured if he said it twice it would be as good as that scene. Could have at least added a voice crack from the actor and pulling Henry in closer to say that last "nothing will happen to you" if they wanred to hammer something home. Even that wouldn't have been as good as the book because again, show don't tell ( actually this would have been something the movie could have improved upon by using a flashback. Book Henry just relayed the talk with Philip. Ironically, that still had more impact than Alex saying "nothing will ever happen to you" twice and yet it was something they could have improved ) but at least it wouldn't have been so 'blah'.

I'd also like to mention how Henry saying he's liked Alex since the first time he met him was so dull. In the movie, he just says it when they are having s**. In the book, it's when they are in bed joking and Henry is just like "yeees, the whole time. Nothing gets past you" and they just joke around playing with pillows. I love moments like these. Moments when couples are just laying in bed and just talking and learning about each other. Learning about things that never came up and are finally coming out.

Now to one of my biggest turn offs from the movie. The absence of Luna. Luna was a queer senator that Alex teased but admired. He turned over to the opponents team and Alex felt like it was a betrayal for all that he stood for. Alex saw this guy that looked like him working hard to do good and it inspired Alex. But, when Luna goes over to the other side, Alex cries to Henry that maybe there's no point to it all. But, Henry calms him and tells Alex that he is good and he works hard to be good. This whole conversation about Alex's fear that he might not be able to do anything and Henry comforting, those moments are the reason why I love seeing the relationship on screen. I like the will they won't they parts of romance but I also like when we finally see the characters in a relationship. The moments when we see what they are like as boyfriends. How they support each other through trying times. Those are wonderful moments in on screen relationships. And we barely got anything of them just talking to each other or going through romantic moments as boyfriends! Luna also tells everyone that Richards was the one who hacked the emails. Again, we see how Alex and Henry's relationship is already changing the people around them and inspiring determination in Luna. I know. I know. Luna had a lot to do in the book and this is a movie and we're strapped for time. Seriously, Amazon, mini series would have been the way to go.

They also changed Alex's parents from being divorced to still be being married. Why, though? Having divorced parents would added an interesting layer to Alex as a character and his relationship with Henry. Seeing how his parents fought always made him upset. He knows that a relationship could end in a break up. Yet, he still dates Henry because love was worth it. This is what romances thrive on. That even with the obstacles, love is worth it. And his love with Henry was worth fighting for.

They also didn't include that pr date with, I believe, Alex being with Zahra and Henry being with June. When rumors started circling that Alex and Henry were together, they had to try to debunk that. And Alex and Henry were distraught because they had to hide their love and two women were being used for this. I like this. There are consequences in this romance. It shows just how big their relationship is. And it shows their remorse in having to use two human women as chess pieces. Because these women are actually people not just their cheerleaders.

I'll just finish this off with something that more of a pet peeves to me. Henry's utter surprise when he hears "sweat dropped down my balls". Come on, honey, child, you heard American songs before. Don't pretend, darling. But seriously, at the end of the book, Henry ( or Alex, I don't remember which one ) reveals to Alex ( or Henry ) that he wants to move in an apartment together. It's super sweet. And shows they can finally move on int heir relationship and be together. In the movie, if looks more like Alex is just showing Henry his house and showing him where he grew up and less about moving in together. I don't even know if he mentioned anything about moving in together. Also, at the end of the book, they notice a mural painted on a wall to celebrate their queer love. I think that would have been a much better note to end on. To show what this movie was about. A gay love story where things just worked out and it didn't end in pain and instead ended with the world celebrating this love story. Some might argue that would have been cheesy, but cheesy is romance's best friend. Romance is where you can have all the cheesiness you want. Just enjoy things about the heart.

As you can, I take my romance seriously.

I don't think this is a bad movie. Not at all. I think it's good. I think the actors did a good job and took their roles seriously. But, I can say that the book is definitely better. I would recommend watching this movie. Especially the Paris scene. I still can't get over how much it felt like it was ripped out of a storybook. I recommend the movie. It's nice. But, I would highly, HIGHLY, recommend reading the book afterwards. It just is better. At least in my opinion. And read it with the audiobook, it's pretty good.

( Wish these audiobooks would have some background music and different voice actors for different characters. That would just make them just a whole new genre within themselves. Somebody, anybody, please get in that! )

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