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blackswan18 · 9 months
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Seven - Clean vs. Explicit
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I prefer the clean version of Seven over the explicit one. There’s more than enough inuendo in the clean version to know what the song is about, but that little bit of mystery makes the song sexier and more mature. The explicit version is so in your face that it kinda comes off as trying too hard 😕
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blackswan18 · 1 year
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Hi! I love and miss your writing. I know life is busy, but I was curious if you still plan on writing Shattered Glass? Avidly excited for it if so, but also completely understand and no pressure if not! Hope you are doing well. 💜
Hello my dear! Thank you so much for reaching out. I absolutely do still intend to finish and release Shattered Glass. The timeline is just going to be pushed way back unfortunately. I literally think about this fic every day, but I’ve been struggling to actually get anything written. In addition to having far less time to write (parenthood is wild), I’ve been plagued by terrible writer’s block 😩. However, I am happy to report that I have recently made some meaningful progress! It is my hope to publish the first chapter next month ☺️
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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Random question.
When you’re reading a fic do you like to be given the perspective of both the reader and their primary love interest or do you feel like that gives too much away and makes the story less compelling? (asking for a friend 😅)
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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Shattered Glass | kth - Fic Announcement
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Series Summary: They say time heals all wounds, but it's been eight years since you cut each other out of your lives and the pain is still sharp as ever. You were the best of friends, and a whisper of something more, but the future you once dreamed of shattered in the blink of an eye. Thrust back together by a twist of fate, you find yourselves torn between the past and the present as you struggle to pick up the pieces.
Pairing: idol!taehyung x idol!reader
Genre : idol!au (mostly canon-compliant), friends to enemies to idiots to lovers (these two will put you through the ringer), mutual pining, fluff, heavy angst, eventual smut, slow burn
Rating: 18+
Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, serious trust issues, physical violence (not with each other), mentions of past sexual abuse and infidelity, explicit sexual content; chapters will have their own warnings!
Schedule: Fall 2022
Taglist: Please comment or send an ask to be added!
a/n: I wrote half of this last year before getting pregnant with my daughter, but have been stalled out since then. I'm hoping that by posting this announcement I'll magically find the motivation to finish this once and for all :)
teaser below the cut
⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅ Taehyung ⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙
When Taehyung’s gaze landed on you, he nearly choked on his martini. The drink - his third of the night - was in clear violation of the personal rule he usually adhered to of having no more than two drinks while at any Big Hit-sponsored events. While his tolerance had improved significantly over the years, he still never wanted to take any chances, knowing how quickly a light buzz can morph into much more if you aren’t careful. Being that one inebriated idiot in a room full of mostly sober people was never a good look, but it was far worse when some of those people were your bosses or, if you were really having a bad day, members of the media.
And yet, there he was, well on his way to legitimate drunkenness.
You must have arrived recently because there was absolutely no way he wouldn’t have spotted you sooner. Your dress was bright red, the same exact shade of red as a stop sign, he couldn’t help but notice. It was form fitting, falling just above the knee, with a sweetheart neckline and halter tie strap. You’d paired it with matching red stilettos and a few simple pieces of silver jewelry. Your hair was up in one of those perfectly messy buns, your lips painted scarlet. 
You and the other girls from Red Velvet were on the far side of the room in the middle of a conversation with the guys from TXT. You appeared to be telling some sort of story, having apparently just said something hilarious given the way the guys all threw their heads back in laughter. You were smiling back at them, looking confident and relaxed, elegant yet sexy, truly and utterly stunning.
And, just like that he was annoyed. 
You would dress like that tonight, wearing something so eye-catching that it made it virtually impossible for him to not let his gaze linger on your figure every time he stopped staring into the bottom of his glass. You would act so boldly, waltzing in here like you owned the place, talking and laughing with his friends while he sulked alone in the corner. You would be completely unaffected by his presence, that is, if you even noticed he was there.
Watching with narrowed eyes as you leaned in to whisper something into Yeonjun’s ear, his grip on the glass in his hand tightened. You were the reason why he’d broken his two-drink rule within an hour of arriving at the party. In fact, you were the reason why he’d been drinking more and sleeping less and losing his grip entirely these last few months. Since the moment Bang PD told them of the acquisition, he’d been living in a constant state of low-level, but ever-growing anxiety. 
He had long ago locked you in a box and thrown away the key, taking all that you once were and never would be and erasing it from his waking mind. You were meant to stay in there forever, but now here you were, crashing back into his life and threatening to ruin everything. Just looking at you was stirring up memories and feelings he hadn’t the slightest clue how to deal with, ones that were still sharp and terrible as ever, even after all this time.
As he took another recklessly large gulp of his drink, he seriously considered making a break for it through the emergency exit behind him. Clearly the two of you would cross paths sooner or later now that you worked for the same company, but he wanted to delay that reunion for as long as humanly possible. Having not had a legitimate conversation with you in almost a decade, he had absolutely no idea what he was going to say to you. 
Despite the fact that you were both K-pop idols, and therefore members of a rather small circle, the two of you had done a remarkable job of avoiding one another over the last few years. Belonging to different management companies had certainly helped in that regard, as did the fact that you didn’t share any mutual friends. Although BTS and Red Velvet often attended the same award shows, there were usually so many people there that you didn’t run into each other. On the rare occasions when your groups had been forced to interact on stage or on the red carpet, the two of you had donned your most convincing smiles and pretended to be friendly, casual acquaintances. 
The only truly meaningful correspondence you’d had since high school was three years ago when his grandmother died and you sent your condolences in a handwritten letter. It had taken him two days to build up the courage to open it. The instant he started reading, he broke down. There on the page before him, in the same neat handwriting that used to appear on folded notes tucked into his backpack, were the most heartfelt, sorrowful words. 
You had met both his grandparents many times when you came with him to visit their farm in Daegu, but you’d always had a special relationship with his grandmother. Having never met either of your own, you said that she filled the hole in your heart by showering you with love and affection as if you were one of her own grandchildren. From the scattered blotches of smeared ink he could tell that you’d cried while writing the letter which absolutely shattered him. He hated it when you cried, especially when he wasn’t there to comfort you. 
The letter he wrote in response was five pages long. Into it, he poured his entire soul, telling you how happy he was to hear from you and how much it meant to him that you’d remembered his grandmother. He told you that she always loved you and that she asked about you every single time he called to talk to her, even after you’d stopped speaking to one another. He recounted some of your fondest memories from the farm like that time you got stung by a bee on the tip of your nose and looked like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. 
He asked about your family, wondering if they still lived in Jeonju and if you were able to see them often. He asked how you’d liked living in New York City and mentioned how impressed he was with your English. He congratulated you on joining Red Velvet, confessing that he’d been following your career closely for the past year and was so proud of how seamlessly you’d filled the role of main vocalist. 
And, he told you that he missed you. He told you he missed you so much that it hurt and that he thought about you every single day. He apologized again for the awful things he said to you that fateful day all those years ago, telling you he truly didn’t mean any of it and that he was just sad and scared because you were going to be so far away from him for so long. He said he wished more than anything that you could be a part of his life again. He left his phone number and all but begged you to contact him before signing the letter, ‘Love Tae’.
But, you never did. 
You never wrote back. You never texted. You never called.
Deep down, he had been holding out hope that you would come back to him one day, but your silence made him realize that was nothing more than wishful thinking. You had written out of respect for his grandmother, nothing more. You had moved on and carved out a new life for yourself, one in which he did not have a place. 
You were no longer his best friend. You were no longer his princess. You were no longer his anything. 
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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Hello! After taking a rather long hiatus during pregnancy, I am finally looking to get back to writing! It’ll likely be a slow process given that I’ve got a 6 week old to take care of 🙃, but I’m hoping to start releasing chapters of my upcoming fic, Shattered Glass, by the end of the summer.
Before I do that, though, I was wondering if people might be up for doing a character ask for Too Good To Be True? I had originally planned on writing an epilogue (and still might one day), but in the meantime this could be a fun way to revisit the story and catch up with our two lovebirds 👩‍❤️‍👨
Feel free to send them in anytime and I’ll do my best to answer them promptly ☺️
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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How are you doing? You haven't posted in a long time and I wanted to see if you are okay.
Hey! I just responded to someone else who recently asked this, but I wanted to say thank you to you as well for being so sweet and supportive 💜
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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are you okay bestie ? :( you haven’t posted for a hot second
Hello my dear! First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for checking in. It truly means the world to me to have readers who aren’t just supportive of my work, but of me as a human ☺️
Speaking of humans…I’m currently growing my first! 🤰🏻 The excitement / craziness of pregnancy is part of why I’ve been MIA. The other part is this tiny, terrible monster called writers block 🙈
It is my sincerest hope to have my new fic, Shattered Glass, and the TGTBT epilogue out before baby is due in June 💜
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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I’ll confess something back!
please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously confess something to you.
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 54  kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 5.5k
warnings: pure unadulterated joy
Chapter 54: Too Goo To Be True - Part 2
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You turned towards Tae and found him already looking back at you, an expectant, slightly nervous expression on his face. Wordlessly, he brought your hand up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to your fingertips. The small, but intimate gesture meant the absolute world to you for you knew exactly what he was saying: no matter what happens, I will always love you. After giving your hand one final, encouraging squeeze, he released it and then peered down. Following his gaze, you stared at the mysterious envelope for several moments before you finally took a deep, steadying breath and broke its seal. Slowly, with trembling hands, you pulled out a document which you recognized immediately.
Your contract.
Initially, you were relieved that you were not holding what you previously thought might be court papers detailing the lawsuit Big Hit was filing against you. However, a heavy blanket of unease settled over you as you considered the possibility that Bang PD intended to go through your numerous contract violations before officially serving you. As you sat there, wincing as you tallied them all up in your head, your heart began hammering in your chest uncontrollably.
“Could you please turn to Section IX on page 15,” Bang PD asked in a calm voice which did absolutely nothing to settle your nerves.
Knowing exactly what was outlined in that section, your heart sank as you realized your suspicions were likely correct. You nodded your head in reply, not trusting your voice, and then silently flipped through the pages until you came to the one in question.
On the original paper version of your contract, which was at home tucked away in a drawer somewhere, this page was dotted with blotches of smeared ink. It was almost illegible in some places, the letters from one line bleeding down into the next, but that mattered not. By the time the words were sharp enough to draw tears, they had already etched themselves onto your heart. Even now, after months spent trying to ignore their existence, you could recite them from memory in excruciating detail.
Section IX: Idol / Trainee Fraternization Policy
In order to protect the well-being of all employees and retain the professional working environment at all times, Big Hit Entertainment Co. Ltd. upholds a strict fraternization policy regarding the formation of relationships between staff members and idols / trainees.
Staff members are encouraged to develop and maintain professional relationships with idols / trainees, and may even develop personal friendships, so long as these relationships do not interfere with the work performance of either individual or with the effective functioning of the workplace.
However, romantic relationships and/or sexual interactions of any kind are expressly prohibited between staff members and idols / trainees. Such relationships put at risk the fundamental interest of every employee to work in an environment free from conflicts of interests, favoritism, and/or exploitation.
Failure to comply with this policy will result in immediate termination of employment. Employees may report suspected policy violations anonymously through the online portal.
Those were the words that had haunted you for years, the ones that echoed in your mind and stifled the growth of that tiny flicker of hope every time Tae said or did something sweet. They were the words that reminded you again and again of just how much you had to lose, the ones that bound your heart in fear and doubt and hesitation. They were the words that almost kept you from the love of your life, the ones that still sought to tear you apart.
However, they were not the words written on the page before you.
You stilled, your breath catching and the erratic beating of your heart coming to a sudden and jarring halt, as the realization hit you like a freight train.
This was not the contract you signed three years ago.
This was a new contract.
A new contract with new rules.
The first time you read through the words on the page in front of you, you refused to accept they were real, convinced that your mind was playing the cruelest of tricks on you.
The second time you read them, you did so slowly and skeptically, terrified that at any moment they would vanish like disappearing ink, taking with them the very last shred of your sanity.
The third time you read them, though, tears welled up in your eyes as you finally allowed yourself to acknowledge their meaning.
Section IX: Acknowledgement of Pre-existing Relationship with Idol Kim Taehyung
Big Hit Entertainment Co. Ltd. acknowledges the pre-existing romantic relationship between the contractee and idol Kim Taehyung and hereby exempts it from the idol / trainee fraternization policy which prohibits romantic relationships between staff members and idols / trainees.
The aforementioned relationship will instead be subjected to the general workplace fraternization policy outlining the appropriate conduct for coworkers engaging in consensual romantic relationships as detailed in Section XI.
All relationships between the contractee and other idols / trainees will be subjected to the idol / trainee fraternization policy as otherwise upheld.
“Jagi?” Tae softly called from beside you, his voice laden with concern.
“Sweetheart, what does it say?” he asked a moment later as he reached over and took your hand again, carefully lacing his fingers with yours.
“It…it says...,” you began before a lump formed in your throat and words failed you entirely.
“It says she can stay,” Bang PD finally answered for you, his voice warm and gentle.
“What? ” Tae breathed out, sounding completely awestruck.
“Y/N can remain here at Big Hit as your stylist and continue being in a relationship with you,” the older man explained as a small smile crept onto his face.
“A relationship that doesn’t have to be a secret,” he then added.
“Y-You really mean it?” Tae asked in disbelief, his eyes wide and pleading. “We…we can be together?”
“You can,” Bang PD assured him.
Reading the words on the page had been one thing, but hearing them spoken from Bang PD himself was something else entirely. The moment they left his lips, tears started pouring out of you. It all just felt so surreal, the idea that you were going to be allowed to be with Tae and also be with him. It was something you had only ever imagined in your wildest dreams.
After scooting his chair closer to yours, Tae reached over and wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. As you buried your face in his shoulder and continued to softly cry, he placed loving kisses on the top of your head. You remained there like that for almost a minute before you regained your composure. Lifting your head up off of Tae’s shoulder, you wiped away your tears, took a deep breath, and looked over at Bang PD who had been patiently waiting this whole time.
“T-Thank you,” you said, your voice hoarse and shaky. “This is such an incredible and generous offer. It’s truly beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.”
“But, are you...are you sure?” you then asked quietly. “You said you were worried about the optics and the potential backlash and I...I am too. I love my job and I love Tae and I want nothing more than to stay here with him, but I don’t want to cause trouble for you or for him or for anyone else.”
“Y/N, I do appreciate your concern, but please believe me when I say that I am very sure of this decision,” Bang PD said, giving you a reassuring smile. “The person I met with this morning convinced me that having you here with Taehyung will be best for the two of you both personally and professionally and is also confident that news of your relationship will be generally well-received.”
“They think you complement each other very well and make a great team,” he began explaining. “They feel you’ve played an integral role in his ability to withstand the stress and pressure that comes with being an idol and that you’ve helped him stay grounded and motivated over the years. They also think he has helped with your development as a stylist and that your creativity and confidence has blossomed in part because of his influence and support.”
“If the purpose of the rule barring involvement between staff and idols is to maintain a safe work environment and ensure that everyone can stay focused and perform to the best of their abilities, then it really doesn’t make sense to apply it in this situation given that you’re clearly in a loving, consensual relationship which brings out the best in both of you and helps you do your jobs exceedingly well,” he then stated rather bluntly.
“As for how others will respond, my informer actually doesn’t think people on the BTS team will be all that surprised to learn you’re together,” he went on to reveal with a little chuckle. “It might not have been obvious to anyone that you began legitimately dating, but it has apparently always been obvious that you’re extremely close and rather affectionate towards one another, you in particular, Taehyung.”
“Honestly, they think people have suspected for some time you were at least harboring crushes on one another, if not deeper feelings, which partially explains why everyone was so shocked when Tae and Jisoo began ‘dating’,” he continued thoughtfully. “They said that people long ago accepted your relationship, however informal it might have been and despite the fact that it was technically not allowed, and that they believe people will be equally accepting of it once it’s official and contractually legal.”
Initially, his words caught you off guard, but as they sank in you realized that this assertion really wasn’t all that far-fetched. None of the other guys had been surprised when you told them you were dating. The only thing they were surprised about was that it took so long for it to happen. Jimin was the only one to whom Tae actually expressed his feelings about you, but the others managed to pick up on everything all on their own.
Thinking through things, you decided that Eunji and Donghae were another two people that likely would not be all that surprised to discover you and Tae were together. Strangely enough, they had been incredibly sympathetic and even somewhat angry when Tae and Jisoo revealed their ‘relationship’. At the time, you just thought they felt bad that you were being forced to spend time with someone so unpleasant, but looking back now, you realized there was clearly more to it.
During that long and terrible month the two of them frequently inquired about your love life and also encouraged you to set up more Tinder dates and get drinks with them after work so you could meet someone. They often did that right in front of Tae in what was now a painfully obvious attempt at making him jealous. Their scheming was, of course, quite unnecessary given that you two were actually already dating, though, it definitely still had an effect on him, evoking a possessiveness which manifested in the most pleasurable of ways when you got home.
For years they had playfully teased you about your relationship with Tae, noting how often he flirted with you and also calling you out for flirting right back. You always brushed them off, and assumed they regarded your flirtation as totally harmless, but perhaps they had suspected more than they were letting on. They were, after all, your best friends here at Big Hit. If anyone was paying close enough attention to see the truth, surely it would have been them.
However, even people outside of yours and Tae’s close friends seemed to have caught on over the years, the most notable being none other than Hyun. A few weeks after the incident on the roof, he had contacted you and asked if you would be up for grabbing coffee sometime, not as a date, but just to talk. You agreed and met up with him a few days later down in the café at Big Hit.
The first thing he did was apologize again for his behavior, but he also then said that, while he still deeply regretted his actions, he was grateful that he now had the opportunity to learn from his mistakes and do better. He asked if you would be willing to answer some questions about how you felt when he said or did certain things over the years and you said yes. The two of you then spent an hour talking about a host of topics related to dating like the different ways people express interest, the assumptions often made on both sides, and the pitfalls for miscommunication. It ended up being a really great conversation, one that you felt was truly productive for both of you.
Towards the end, Hyun mentioned that Tae had come to see him in the editing room the Monday after everything happened. While he didn’t specifically use the word ‘threaten’, he did say that Tae made it crystal clear that he would no longer have a job at Big Hit, or anywhere else in the entertainment industry, if he ever touched you again or made you uncomfortable in any way. You were honestly shocked to learn that Tae had done that, not to mention incredibly flustered, but Hyun, however, did not seem the least bit surprised.
“He’s always been very protective of you,” he said matter-of-factly, giving you a knowing smile.
“It’s obvious he cares a lot about you,” he then added thoughtfully, his expression growing slightly wistful before he continued. “And, that you care a lot about him.”
At the time, you convinced yourself that the affection Hyun thought you and Tae felt towards one another was strictly platonic. The alternative was just too painful to even contemplate given that Tae was busy recording the song with Jisoo and your love had never felt more unrequited. Worse than that, though, the alternative was dangerous. If Hyun realized your relationship contained romantic feelings, even if they sadly were only one-sided, he could end your career in a heartbeat.
In hindsight, it was overwhelmingly obvious that Hyun knew the true nature of your relationship, even if it remained unbeknownst to the two of you for another few months. He had seen how jealous and protective Tae grew whenever he asked you out. He had realized that every time you turned him down because of your ‘busy schedule’, you were really choosing Tae over him. He had witnessed you two together, off in your own little world, talking and laughing and flirting as if no one else existed, least of all him. He had known.
And yet, he had said nothing. He had not reported you. He had not attempted to blackmail you. He had not caused trouble in any way, shape, or form. He had just accepted it and moved on. Realizing this monumental fact, you allowed yourself to hope that, in time, others would do the same.
“The fact that it’s you, Taehyung, and not anyone else, also makes all the difference in this situation,” Bang PD went on, pulling you back to the present moment. “You are one of the most adored and respected idols here at Big Hit and are also already known to be family-oriented and, self admittedly, a hopeless romantic. You falling in love with Y/N, but waiting three years to tell her and then hiding your eventual relationship because you were afraid of losing her honestly just makes you all the more endearing.”
“If we tell people the truth, that you couldn’t bear to be separated from your pregnant wife who you deeply love and want to take care of, what is anyone really going to say?” he then questioned.
Upon hearing those words, you and Tae immediately turned to look at each other, your eyes wide in shock. You had not mentioned your news to anyone other than Jisoo, and thought you had been discreet at the hospital last night, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Turning back to face Bang PD, you saw a guilty expression clearly written on his face.
“Sejin accidentally saw the pregnancy test on the bedside table just before you left the hospital,” he revealed, sounding deeply apologetic.
“He did not tell me this when I spoke to him last night,” he went on slowly, choosing his words carefully. “He only shared the news this morning when I called him to discuss your future here at Big Hit. I asked him point blank how soon he thought you might be looking to start a family since Taehyung mentioned last night that you were already discussing children. He was caught off guard and didn’t know how else to respond other than to tell the truth.”
“He feels extremely guilty to have discovered and shared this highly personal information without your permission and I too feel guilty that I have discussed it and now taken away the opportunity for you to tell me yourselves,” he admitted as he bowed his head in remorse.
“However, I do feel it’s important that you know the decision to allow you to stay was made with this precious knowledge in mind,” he then said sincerely. “I want you to know that I am fully supportive of both your relationship and of your soon-to-be family.”
In the last few minutes you had already felt a flicker of anxiety about how and when you would tell him the news and if it would make him regret his decision to allow you to stay. The fact that he already knew and was genuinely supportive was a massive relief. You were about to thank him for providing you with this much needed peace of mind when he suddenly pulled something else out of his desk drawer.
“I also want you to know that Big Hit is going to be fully supportive as well,” he then said as he spread the papers in his hands out across his desk.
“These are the floor plans for the new building we will be moving into next spring,” he went on, a hint of excitement in his voice. “I think you might be interested in what will be located on the North end of the third floor.”
Confused and curious, you peered over at the paper in question. It took a few moments to orient yourself and figure out where to look, but when you did, you immediately knew what Bang PD wanted you to see.
“A childcare center,” you whispered as fresh tears welled up in your eyes.
“Yes. Starting next spring, Big Hit will offer onsite childcare services to all of its employees,” he explained. “With several of our idols now married or soon-to-be married and thinking of starting families, and many staff members having children already, it was an easy decision to make. Anyone who chooses to have their children cared for at the center will be guaranteed time throughout the day to visit with them. When the time comes, the two of you can take that time together or separately, whichever you prefer.”
Discovering you were allowed to stay had been overwhelming enough as it was, but this revelation was almost too much to handle. You were barely holding it together, filled with so much joy and gratitude that you thought you might burst, and you knew Tae was fairing no better. After taking one look at the floor plan, he dropped his head into his hand and began to softly cry.
Having this kind of support from Big Hit would be monumental for you both as new parents. It would make your transition back to work so much smoother and help you find that elusive balance between career and motherhood. It would also enable Tae to be that much more present in your children’s lives, allowing him to easily and safely spend time with them even when the schedule was busy. This development alone had already seemed life-changing, but what Bang PD said next made you realize it had only scratched the surface.
“Taehyung, for you and the rest of the members of BTS, family support will also extend beyond this building,” he began tentatively.
At the sound of those words, Tae looked up at you, his eyes wide in wonder and anticipation, before turning to Bang PD.
“From now on, you will be allowed to bring your families with you whenever BTS travels for extended periods of time,” he revealed, pausing for a moment to let the immense weight of that statement sink in. “The finer details of everything are yet to be worked out, but they will likely travel with you on your chartered flights and will stay with you as well. Big Hit will provide childcare whenever necessary and tutoring too when the time comes.”
“We will, of course, have to be extremely careful so as not to allow any information about your partners or children to get out, but I am confident we can handle it with proper planning and increased security,” he continued thoughtfully.
“Obviously, we will need to make some special arrangements for the upcoming tour, though,” he then quickly added.
“Y/N, may I ask when you are due?” he questioned gently.
For a second, you forgot how to speak. Your brain was still going a mile a minute as you struggled to comprehend everything he had just said. The idea of your children being allowed to travel with you and Tae, of you all being together as a family, was truly mind-blowing. It was honestly never something you considered to be even a remote possibility, even in your wildest dreams. It simply was not something that happened in the K-pop industry. Idols were expected to either put off having a family until they retired or have one that they rarely saw. There was no in between. No compromise.
That is, until now.
“July 15th is my expected due date,” you told him bewilderedly.
He nodded his head and was quiet for a few moments, no doubt running through the tour schedule in his head to see where exactly your due date fell. The tiniest amount of worry crept into your mind as you wondered if he was going to be upset with how unfortunately timed your pregnancy was, but once again he surprised you with his compassion and composure.
“It will be entirely up to you and Taehyung to decide how much of the tour you participate in, if any,” he finally said. “If your doctor clears you for travel and you are feeling up to it, you could come for the North American leg of the tour and maybe even part of the European leg. Obviously, you would need to be home by mid-spring and would then remain there once your child was born.”
“We would, of course, have someone on the medical staff oversee your prenatal care while you were traveling, but if you would be more comfortable staying home throughout your pregnancy that is perfectly fine,” he then assured you. “We could have you temporarily transferred over to another group that isn’t on tour until you take your maternity leave this summer.”
“Taehyung, you will also need to decide how much of the tour you’ll participate in,” he added, turning his attention back to Tae. “If you could make it through Festa and Muster in June and then possibly attend a few shows in September that would be great, but if you need more time off before or after the baby is born I understand completely.”
Of all the incredible revelations this meeting had brought, this one was perhaps the most earth-shattering. It was one thing for accommodations to be made for when Tae was busy with BTS commitments, but it was something else entirely for him to be released from those commitments altogether. It was a huge deal for a member to miss any event, let alone a concert, and was something that only happened in dire circumstances. And yet, here was Bang PD, saying Tae could miss a month or two of their world tour without consequence.
Unsure how to even begin to express the tangle of thoughts and emotions inside you, you glanced over at Tae, hoping he might have found the words to say, only to discover he was infinitely more overwhelmed than you were. He was staring at Bang PD with an absolutely astonished expression on his face, his eyes wide, mouth agape. For a whole minute he said nothing, just stood there in utter disbelief, barely even seeming to breathe, until he finally broke the silence.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice little more than a whisper.
“I-I’m so grateful for it all, truly, but I just…I just don’t understand,” he stammered as his voice began to waver and his eyes filled with tears once more. “When we signed you said the rules would never change.”
Bang PD drew in a long, deep breath before letting it out very slowly. As he did, his gaze traveled all over the room, taking in the sight of the numerous photographs and awards and mementos that lined the walls, most of which commemorated some notable milestone or accomplishment BTS had achieved. Looking back at Tae, a somber expression on his face, he cleared his throat and began to speak.
“I have been reconsidering a number of Big Hit’s policies for some time now,” he admitted as he leaned his elbows on the desk and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I know other members have also experienced hardship in their relationships, but what you’ve gone through with Y/N has been particularly eye-opening. It’s painfully clear to me now how near-impossible you felt it would be to have and maintain a healthy relationship with her if she wasn’t with you because of her job at Big Hit.”
“Obviously, I’ve always known that BTS’s schedule is very demanding and that it interferes with everyone’s personal lives, but I didn’t realize it was to such a large and heartbreaking extent,” he went on, letting out a deep sigh before he continued. “I want you all to be committed to the group’s shared vision and success, but not at the cost of your current and future happiness.”
“The rules were established before you debuted, back when you were all so young and inexperienced, but so much has changed since then,” he acknowledged. “You’ve grown, and will only continue to grow, not just as artists, but as individuals and as men, as husbands and fathers someday too.”
“Bit Hit needs to grow with you,” he then said with a note of finality.
“Thank you,” Tae said after a few moments of silence, his voice soft and sincere, as he bowed his head respectfully. “Your kindness and support means more to me than I can put into words. I deeply appreciate all that you have done for me over the years and all that you continue to do for Y/N, myself, and our unborn child. I promise to never take the incredible opportunity you’ve given us for granted and to continue performing to the absolute best of my ability as a member of BTS.”
“You are most welcome, Taehyung,” Bang PD said back with a smile. “You have dedicated over a third of your life to BTS and given myself and Big Hit so much. It is my pleasure to offer this to you in return.”
You were about to say something as well when Bang PD’s phone suddenly started to ring. After glancing down to see who it was, he said he unfortunately needed to take it. The call was brief, he gave little more than a few ‘Hmms’ and ‘OKs’, and before you knew it he was hanging up.
“I do apologize, but I am urgently needed at the police station with Jisoo and our lawyer,” he said regretfully, standing up from his desk.
“Why don’t we plan to meet again in a couple days,” he then suggested as he put on his coat. “That way you can take some time to absorb all of this and talk through everything together. Y/N, assuming you decide to stay, we’ll need to discuss when and how to reveal your relationship with Taehyung to the rest of Big Hit. There are also a couple of other things we’ll need to go over like security and NDAs and the like.”
“Please stay here as long as you’d like to collect yourselves before leaving,” he added gently. “I know it’s been an overwhelming and emotional afternoon.”
You and Tae both stood up and bid him farewell, shaking his hand and thanking him again for everything. He had opened the door, and was just about to step through and leave, when Tae suddenly called out to him.
“Sir, was it Namjoon-hyung?” he asked hesitantly.
This question had been on the tip of your tongue since the moment Bang PD said someone came to visit him this morning. Like Tae, you had assumed it was Namjoon, your guardian angel. He was the obvious choice, having been in your corner right from the very beginning, which is why Bang PD’s response came as such a surprise.
“No,” the older man said after a moment, a small smile playing on his lips. “The person I met with this morning, the one who convinced me you two should remain together here at Big Hit, was Mrs. Choi.”
With that, he took his leave, giving a final wave before stepping out into the hallway. The second the door closed and you and Tae were alone, the reality of everything that had transpired in the last hour finally hit you.
You weren’t being fired. You weren’t getting sued. You weren’t even being punished at all. Instead, you were being given the most precious gift anyone can ever ask for.
Time.
Time with Tae, the love of your life and your best friend, the father of your unborn child and your soon-to-be husband. Time spent talking and laughing and being with him. Time spent growing with him and learning from him and discovering a million more reasons to love him. Time spent watching him and his brothers follow their passion and change the world.
Time spent with him and your children. Time spent playing with them and teaching them things and showering them with love and affection. Time spent watching them discover they had the most wonderful, caring, and incredible father in the entire world. Time spent together as a family, one that was happy and whole and not separated by time zones and thousands upon thousands of miles.
Looking over at Tae, and seeing his own eyes already filled with tears, you lost it. In an instant, he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you as close as possible, enveloping you in his warmth and comfort and love. As you sobbed into his chest, absolutely overcome with emotion, he pressed endless kisses to your temple and rubbed your back in the most soothing, loving way.
“You can stay, Jagi,” he whispered as his own tears freely fell. “You can stay.”
“You can stay and we can be together,” he went on, gently rocking you in his arms. “Our family can be together.”
“I’ll take care of you and our baby, sweetheart,” he then vowed, his voice soft but resolute. “No matter where we go, no matter how crazy things get, I’ll take care of you both. I’ll keep you safe and make sure you’re healthy and happy and so, so loved. I’ll be the best husband and father I can be, I promise.”
Moved by his words, it took you a few moments to gather yourself to the point that you could speak and even then your voice was breaking over every other word.
“I’ll take care of you too, Tae,” you promised, pulling back to look at him. “I’ll take care of you and support you and love you always. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I love you so much,” you then told him as the joyful tears continued to pour out.
Though his eyes were still glistening with his own tears, he looked almost as happy as he did last night when you first told him you were pregnant. After gazing at you for a few moments, he reached up to cup your cheeks and rub away your tears with his thumbs before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and sweet and truly magical and, when he pulled away and looked at you so adoringly, still holding you so tenderly, you knew without question that this was the happiest moment of your entire life.
“I love you too, Jagi,” he confessed, giving you a shy, boxy smile. “I always have and I always will.”
~~~
Author’s Note:
Thank you all for following along with me on this incredible journey. When I started writing this story in my head while out on a long run back in January, I never dreamed it would have evolved into what it has now become. It has truly been a labor of love writing this and I thank each and every one of you who took the time to leave comments and send me messages. Your feedback and support meant more to me than I can put into words.
There were will an epilogue to this story that I hope to publish sometime in the next month. I am also planning on releasing drabbles every now and then. They will be of both past and future events and will also be from Tae's POV on occasion.
Part of the reason why it took so long for this last chapter to be released is that I've already started writing another story. I tried to hold off on beginning it until this one was done, but I got too excited lol It will be another Tae Idol!AU, however, that is where the similarities with TGTBT end. The title is 'Shattered Glass' and, like TGTBT was loosely centered on Tae's song 'Sweet Night', the new story will revolved around 'Stigma'. It will be angsty and smutty and honestly quite dark. It will be a roller coast for sure - friends to enemies to friends to lovers! I'm having a blast writing it so far and hope to have the first chapter published in the next month or so.
Thank you again for your love and support! 
Borahae 💜
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blackswan18 · 2 years
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Writer Problems
When you really need to finish one fic, but then start writing another to procrastinate 🙃
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 53 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 7.0k
warnings: cursing, smut, blackmail
Chapter 53: Too Goo To Be True - Part 1
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You woke to the feeling of soft lips lightly brushing against yours and the sound of even softer words whispered into the stillness of the morning.
Wake up, sleeping beauty.
I’ve just given you a true love’s kiss.
With all your might you tried not to react, tried to feign sleep in the hopes that Tae would continue spoiling you with tender kisses and sweet words as he attempted to rouse you, but you simply could not stop a tiny smile from spreading across your face.
“At last,” he then whispered excitedly. “She has awoken from her endless slumber.”
At that, your smile widened. This silly, sweet side of Tae was just so endearing. You’d been awake for less than a minute and already he had you swooning, your heart threatening to burst due to cuteness overload.
“Are you my Prince Charming?” you asked shyly, your eyes still closed as you snuggled against his bare chest.
“Yes,” he replied happily, smiling into the kiss he then pressed to your forehead. “And, you are my beautiful princess.”
You were smiling from ear to ear now, completely smitten with the man in whose arms you laid. Tae had this incredible ability to take any moment, however brief or ordinary, and make it feel special and memorable, truly magical. Being with him was honestly like living in a fairy tale, one that you had feared for so long was too good to be true, but now trusted and believed with all your heart was real.
After laying there for a few more minutes, basking in the warmth of both his love and his embrace, you finally opened your eyes and pulled back to find him gazing at you with a soft, intent expression. As he brushed away a wisp of your hair and then cradled your face in his hand, you felt that familiar fluttering in your chest. Yesterday he had said you were the most precious thing in the world to him and right now, with how lovingly he was looking at you and how tenderly he was holding you, you truly felt like you were.
“What are you thinking about?” you asked a moment later, having grown a bit shy under his gaze.
He didn’t respond right away and instead took his thumb and lightly ran it along your lower lip. As he did, a tiny shiver went up your spine as the atmosphere in the room shifted ever so slightly. The love was still clearly there in his eyes, but it was now accompanied by an unmistakable glint of lust.
“Last night,” he finally confessed, his sultry voice shooting right through you. “And how much I loved being with you like that.”
“Being so close to you,” he went on, your breath hitching as he leaned in and tilted your chin up with his finger. “Feeling all of you.”
“It was incredible,” he then murmured, his lips just a breath away from yours.
“It was,” you agreed quietly, feeling dizzy and lightheaded, utterly intoxicated by him.
The next thing you knew, he had closed the distance between you and captured your lips in a deep, sensual kiss that had memories from last night instantly flooding back to you.  
How it began with an innocent goodnight kiss that lingered on and on before eventually turning messy and desperate. The way his lips caressed the sensitive skin of your neck while he teased his fingers along the waistband of your shorts. The rush you felt when he whispered in your ear that he missed being inside you and hearing your pretty sounds and feeling you come around him. How he slowly removed your clothes and then licked and bit his lips as his gaze shamelessly roamed over you. The searing hot kisses he trailed all the way down your body, how he softly sucked and nipped as he went, and all the sinfully sweet words he murmured against your skin.
Want to take care of you
Make my sweetheart feel so good
Worship your beautiful body that’s carrying our baby
Show you just how much I love you, Jagi
How he then used his mouth to express that love, but didn’t use words. His insatiable hunger as he pleasured you until your body was trembling and your mind was devoid of all thoughts except him. Breathlessly telling him that you wanted and needed him. Him reaching over to the nightstand out of habit. You reminding him that you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant when you were already pregnant. The adorably sheepish grin he then gave you. The passionate kiss you shared as he laid his body down on yours.
Making love without anything between you for the first time. How it felt so much more intimate and meaningful, every sensation heightened and the pleasure beyond anything you’d ever experienced before. The way he held you so close and gazed into your eyes as he slowly and deeply thrust into you. The physical and emotional bliss of coming together. How truly whole you felt afterwards, sharing languid kisses and confessing your love over and over again while your bodies remained intimately intertwined.
~~~
An hour later you were in the kitchen savoring the one cup of coffee you were now allowed to have every day and waiting for Tae to finish showering so you could hop in. He had pleaded for you to join him, promising with puppy dog eyes that he would be on his best behavior and that you two would only clean each other, but you knew better than to believe that. Even after last night’s three rounds and this morning’s two, it was clear that neither of you were satiated. His appetite was particularly ravenous, having admitted last night that you being pregnant with his child was something he found extremely sexy. If you had gotten in the shower with him just now he surely would have misbehaved, you obviously would have had to punish him, and you two definitely would have then missed the meeting with Bang PD and the lawyer that you needed to be at in forty-five minutes.
As you stood there leaning against the kitchen counter, mug in hand, your mind began wandering to all the questions that needed to be answered and decisions that needed to be made. If Jisoo would actually try to blackmail Tae and what would happen if she did. How to tell your families and close friends about the pregnancy. If they would be as supportive as you hoped. When to get legally married and when to have the wedding reception. How to begin telling other people about your relationship with Tae. If they would believe that your marriage was genuine and that your baby was truly wanted. What jobs you would apply for once you left Big Hit. When and if you would go back to work after you gave birth. If you would be a good mother.
However, there was one thought that weighed more heavily on your mind than all the rest combined: whether or not Tae would actually remain in BTS. Last night after your ultrasound, while you were laying with him and waiting to be released, you fell asleep for a little bit. When you woke up you found him on his phone scrolling through his contract. He said he was just glancing at it, but you knew there was more to it than that.
He had reluctantly agreed when you told him that you still wanted to wait before you made any decisions, but in the hours since then your own feelings had become muddled. As adamant as you had been back at the hospital that you two could make it work once you left Big Hit, you couldn’t deny the anxiety you now felt when you imagined what life was going to be like moving forward. You thought you were going to have time to adjust and gradually settle into your new routine, but that notion had gone out the window the moment you saw those two pink lines.
The truth was, you being pregnant changed everything. So many new and exciting, but also stressful things were about to happen and you honestly didn’t know if you could handle them all without Tae by your side. Given how inseparable you’d been for the last three years, the idea of being apart for even a little while made your heart legitimately ache. The hectic and unpredictable nature of his regular schedule would be hard enough to deal with, but sadly there would be a far greater challenge awaiting you both if he chose not to give up his idol life.
After not touring at all this year, BTS was set to embark on a massive world tour next year. Once they kicked things off in February with several shows in South Korea, they would spend almost two months in North America and then a month in Europe. At the end of May they would come home for Festa and Muster which would last most of June. They would then spend the rest of the summer touring Japan and Southeast Asia before the tour concluded with a big three-day finale back in Seoul at the end of September. Other than a couple weekends off here and there, and a two week break in mid-summer, they would be going nonstop for almost eight months.
And, you would be giving birth right in the middle of it all.
Putting down your suddenly tasteless coffee, you dropped your head into your hands and let out a long, frustrated sigh. The truth was undeniable: if Tae was considering leaving BTS before, he was surely now convinced that it was what he needed to do. There was just no way he was going to want to be away from you while you were pregnant, let alone once the baby was born.
This realization caused a flurry of conflicting emotions to well up inside you. You wanted more than anything to have him with you, to share all of the experiences of pregnancy and new parenthood together, but wanting that made you feel so guilty. To be with you he would need to make an enormous sacrifice, one that would undoubtedly cause confusion and hardship and heartbreak for so many people. Even if he said it's what he wanted, even if it was what was best for your family and relationship in the long run, allowing him to do it still just felt so selfish. Tae offered so much to the world as a member of BTS, so much love and joy and positivity, and also received so much in return.
Could you really allow him to give all that up?
The answer to that question was elusive, but just as you began to chase it around your mind, you heard a knock on the apartment door. It was soft, so soft that you thought for a moment that you had imagined the sound, but when you heard it again a few moments later, you realized that it was most definitely real.
As you walked down the hallway towards the foyer, you decided your visitor must be one of the guys. Tae had texted their group chat late last night and told them that you fainted while at Big Hit and were taken to the hospital, but that you were discharged and were doing alright. He mentioned that the situation involved Jisoo, and also let them know that Bang PD and several others now knew about your relationship, but didn’t go into much more detail since he wanted to talk to them about everything in person. He said nothing about the pregnancy, though, partly because it wasn’t something to be shared over text, but also because it was still a little early to tell people.
All of the guys had responded with concern and well-wishes and both Jimin and Namjoon had texted back separately asking if there was anything that the two of you needed. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised you at all if one of them decided to pop over just in case to make sure that everything truly was alright. However, after undoing the deadbolt and lock, you opened the door and were brought face to face with the absolute last person you were expecting.
Jisoo
The fact that she was standing in front of you was surprising enough, but it was the state of her appearance that was most shocking. In the year and a half that you had known her, you had never seen her look so unkempt. She was completely bare faced, having not even bothered to hide the dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was undone, piled in a messy heap atop her head. Her clothes were plain, a bit grungy, even: black leggings with scuffed white sneakers and a blue crew neck sweatshirt that was clearly distressed not by design, but by years of wear and tear. The color was faded and bleached in some spots, the ends of the sleeves frayed and covered with black smudges you had a sneaking suspicion were mascara. Her eyes were red and puffy, the unmistakable aftermath of fallen tears, and wide with fear and anticipation.
The sight before you was disarming, automatically eliciting emotions you never thought you could feel for the woman who stood before you. She looked broken, a mere shell of a human, and no matter how hard you tried to fight them, genuine feelings of concern and sympathy flickered inside you. Despite everything she had said and done to you and Tae, despite how much she had hurt you both, you simply could not find it within yourself to take pleasure in her own obvious pain.
The two of you spent what felt like hours staring at each other in complete silence. As you watched her gaze briefly travel over you, and saw it linger on all the skin exposed by Tae’s loose-fitting V-neck tee shirt, the irony of the situation sank in. You were the one now covered in marks, ones that had obviously been given to you by the man whose clothes you were wearing, the man that you still shared a home with and were clearly still dating. The dramatic reversal of your roles should have given you at least a small amount of satisfaction, but it didn’t. Instead, it caused a pit to form in the bottom of your stomach.
“I-I’m glad you’re still here,” she finally said, sounding slightly relieved, somewhat surprised, but mostly nervous.
“I was hoping to speak with you and Tae,” she went on, barely able to meet your eye.
Struggling to comprehend not only the words she was saying, but the entire situation, you continued gaping at her in disbelief. She wasn’t supposed to be here right now. She wasn’t supposed to have been the one to reach out. You and Tae hadn’t met with Bang PD and the lawyer yet. You hadn’t made a plan for how to handle everything. Namjoon wasn’t here and the conversation wasn’t being recorded. It was all wrong. The whole situation was all wrong.
And yet, something inside you was telling you that you should hear what she had to say.
Wordlessly, you stepped aside and ushered her through the door. After closing it, you turned and walked with her down the hallway towards the kitchen. When you got there, you gestured for her to take a seat at the island counter.
“I’m going to go get Tae,” you said after a moment of debating whether or not it was OK to leave her alone in the apartment. “Just...wait here.”
She nodded in reply and you turned to leave the room, but before you could even take a step, Tae’s voice rang out from within the apartment.
“Jagi, I had a thought in the shower,” he called from down the hall. “If we turn the office into the baby’s room, should we move our bedroom into the room next to it? I’m worried about it taking too long to get all the way across the apartment if the baby needs us in the middle of the night.”
You froze, your heart absolutely plummeting in your chest, as you realized what Tae had just inadvertently revealed to Jisoo. He had only been in the shower for a few minutes when she knocked and you thought for sure he would still be in there now. Obviously, though, you were wrong and now your precious secret was out.
“I'm also worried about not being able to hear when something is wrong,” he added, now sounding like he was getting closer. “I know we’ll have a baby monitor, but what if it doesn’t work for some reason? What if our baby spends the whole night crying all alone while we’re asleep? Just thinking about that makes me want to cry.”
“We definitely need to-,” he then began before abruptly stopping when he turned the corner and saw Jisoo.
For a few seconds he just stood there in stunned silence, staring at her with wide eyes, but as soon as he snapped out of it he was at your side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest in a protective embrace. You couldn’t see his face, but from the terrified look on Jisoo’s you knew he was giving her his most intimidating death glare.
“What are you doing here?” he spat, his voice cold and sharp as ice.
She flinched, physically recoiling from his verbal assault, but her gaze remained fixed on you.
“You’re pregnant?” she whispered.
Your first instinct was to deny it, but you realized a second later that it was pointless. There was honestly no other explanation for what she had just heard Tae say.
“I am,” you admitted sheepishly. “We found out last night after I went to the hospital.”
“You went to the hospital?” she breathed out, her eyes wide in shock.
“I fainted after Tae told me the truth about his grandmother’s ring,” you said hesitantly, Tae hugging you tighter as you spoke. “I hadn’t eaten in a while and my blood pressure was already low because I’m pregnant. When I got really overwhelmed my body just shut down.”
You truly hadn’t said that to guilt her, you’d just wanted to explain the situation, but the way her face somehow fell ever further upon hearing them made it crystal clear that the weight of your words was absolutely crushing. Against all reason, you felt your heart clench at the sight.
“Jisoo, why are you here?” Tae asked again, his tone now even more threatening.
She took a few moments before answering, looking down at the floor and taking a deep breath as she clearly tried to compose herself.
“I came to apologize,” she finally said, looking up at the two of you. “And to explain.”
Tae said nothing in reply, just stared back at her, his gaze piercing and his jaw tightly set. He was clearly skeptical of her intentions which was absolutely warranted given everything she had done. Your own reservations were swirling around inside you, but there too was that same voice from before, urging you to listen.
“I think you know already that what I said last night wasn’t the truth,” she began quietly, guilt written all over her face. “But, I just want to make it absolutely clear that nothing inappropriate ever happened between Tae and I.”
“It was so wrong of me to make it seem like something had,” she continued as her voice started to tremble. “I-I’m truly ashamed that I did that.”
“I’m so sorry,” she then confessed as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry for all of the terrible things I did and said. I’m sorry for lying and manipulating you and trying to come between you. I’m sorry for everything. If I could go back and undo it all, I would. I’m not asking for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it, but I just…I just need you to know that I’m so sorry.”
For the longest time, the room was dead silent save for the faint ticking from the clock on the nearby wall. Your head was swimming with an infinite number of indecipherable thoughts. To be honest, you hadn’t expected to ever receive an apology from Jisoo. She had acted so deliberately and with such calculated malice that it seemed unfathomable for her to actually feel guilt or remorse. The fact that she did, and had just expressed those feelings to you with what sounded to be true sincerity, left you completely at a loss.
“Why?” was all Tae finally said, his tone harsh and demanding. “Why did you do this to us?”
“I-I…It just…I was…,” she stammered before her voice trailed off and a few tears began trickling out.
“I trusted you,” he went on, his voice rising in frustration. “I trusted you and you betrayed me. You ruined what was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life. You jeopardized my entire future, everything I’ve spent years waiting and hoping for. You hurt me deeply, more than anyone else ever has and probably ever will, but far worse than that, you hurt Y/N. You hurt her and tried to drive her away, knowing how much I love her and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”  
“Why would you be so cruel?” he then shouted, now shaking with rage. “Why would you be so fucking selfish?”
At the sound of his words, something inside Jisoo seemed to snap. In an instant, the sad, shameful look she had worn since the moment you first laid eyes on her vanished and gave way to one of seething anger.
“Because someone was blackmailing me!” she yelled back at him.
“Someone who knew about your relationship was threatening me,” she continued, an unmistakable hint of fear now mixed in with her anger. “And I-I just panicked.”
Of all the reasons she could have given, that was the absolute last one you ever would have expected. As you and Tae wordlessly stood there, both of you too shocked to even attempt to respond, she pulled out her phone and navigated to her text messages. After scrolling for what felt like an eternity, she finally set her phone down on the counter and turned it around so you could see.
There on the screen was a photo of a beach with a beautiful sunset. On that beach, standing a couple feet into the water, was a man holding a barefoot woman in his arms. She was snuggled up against him, her head on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his neck, and his lips were pressed to her temple in a kiss.
The scene was so tender and intimate and romantic.
And so heart-stoppingly familiar.
You gasped, your hand flying up to cover your mouth, as Tae stiffened beside you, his grip on your waist tightening like a vice. The evidence was right there in front of you, clear as day, and yet you simply could not believe it. Your magical moment on the beach with Tae, the one that changed your life forever, had been secretly witnessed and photographed by someone.
As she swiped through several more photos, you saw Tae turning around and carrying you across the sand back towards the road. The quality of the photos was shockingly good and you could clearly tell it was him in most of them. Having nuzzled into his neck because you were feeling shy and nervous, your face was hidden in all of the photos except for the last. In that one, Tae had just reached the road and you had finally pulled back to look at him. It wasn’t the best angle, but anyone who knew you would be able to recognize you in a heartbeat.
“I was sent these photos one night three weeks ago by a random number,” Jisoo said to break the silence.
“It took me a few minutes to realize they had been taken at the Itaewon Class photoshoot,” she went on, her voice hushed and shaky. “As you know, I wasn’t there, but I remembered you saying that it took place at the beach and that Y/N went with you.”
“I was confused and nervous as to why someone was sending them to me,” she admitted, sounding genuinely fearful. “But, before I could reply, more messages came flooding in.”
The photos she showed you next were infinitely more disturbing than the ones from the beach and had you clutching Tae’s shirt in absolute horror. You and Tae loading things into your car outside of your old apartment. You and Tannie playing in what was supposed to be the private courtyard of the apartment complex. You driving through the gate and into the parking garage underneath the building. You walking out of the front doors of the Big Hit building. You shopping at the grocery store while wearing Tae’s gray sweatshirt. There were a bunch more of you out and about around Seoul, all of them taken at what appeared to be frighteningly close range, and then came the text messages.
[Unknown 8:44 PM] Who is this woman?
[Unknown 8:46 PM] She shouldn’t be touching Tae.
[Unknown 8:47 PM] She shouldn’t be in his home or playing with Tannie or wearing his clothes.
The next set of photos were no longer of you and Tae, but of Jisoo and Tae. They clearly weren’t taken by the sender and instead seemed to have been gathered from the internet. Most of them showed their interactions at various events they’d both attended, like her kissing him on the cheek at last year’s Golden Disc Awards. There were also a number of screenshots from the Instagram Lives they did over the summer when they were recording the song. A couple of them were even fan edits, ones you had previously seen circulated on Twitter by delusional TaeSoo shippers.
[Unknown 9:15 PM] Are you mad that he left you for her?
[Unknown 9:16 PM] You should be.
[Unknown 9:16 PM] She doesn’t deserve him.
[Unknown 9:17 PM] You don’t deserve him either.
[Unknown 9:20 PM] No one does.
“By this point, I was already so creeped out,” Jisoo said, sounding truly frightened. “This person was obviously a crazy sasaeng fan who was obsessed with Tae and had been stalking you both for months. I don’t think they knew about the fake dating cover, but they clearly thought Tae and I were actually dating at some point and figured out that you and him were currently together.”
“They were following you everywhere you went, Y/N,” she added as she looked at you with wide, terrified eyes. “Everywhere.”
You shuddered, the hairs on the back of your neck rising up as your stomach dropped. Someone had been following you and watching you and photographing you for months and you’d had absolutely no idea. As a tidal wave of fear and disgust and dread crashed over you, Tae drew you even closer, holding you in the tightest, most protective embrace as he pressed his cheek to your temple.
“I was going to tell you,” Jisoo then said, her voice laden with regret as fresh tears pooled in her eyes. “I was going to tell you so you could alert the police and get the Bit Hit security team involved. I was, I promise.”
“But, then they sent this,” she all but whispered as she scrolled down to reveal another set of messages and photos.
[Unknown 10:20 PM] She can’t be with him anymore.
[Unknown 10:22 PM] Make her go away.
[Unknown 10:23 PM] Do it or else.
Below those distressing, threatening messages was a photo of a girl sitting at a café, a drink in one hand, her phone in the other. She looked to be a bit younger than you, the presence of a backpack on the chair beside her indicating she was likely still in school. She had big, almond eyes, pink heart-shaped lips, and long, dark brown hair that cascaded down her back in gentle waves. Her beauty was striking. It was the kind you couldn’t help but notice and admire. The kind you would remember and recognize again if you ever saw it. The kind, you then realized, that was standing right in front of you.
“Jisoo, who is that?” you asked quietly.
Watching as the anguish spread across her face and her lower lip began to quiver, tears pricked at your own eyes as you realized you already knew the answer to that question.
“It’s my little sister, Hyejin,” she cried before a terrible sob tore through her and she completely lost it.
Without even thinking, you slipped out of Tae’s hold, strode over to Jisoo, and gathered her in your arms. She melted into your embrace instantly, burying her face in your shoulder as she began sobbing uncontrollably. As you stroked her back and whispered comforting words, you watched as Tae started swiping through more photos.
They were just like the ones of you, candid and invasive and wholly unsettling. Hyejin shopping at the mall. Walking down the sidewalk. At a restaurant with friends. In her car at a gas station. Through the window in what appeared to be a dorm room. There were just so many photos and below them were more threats, each one more frightening than the last. At some point Jisoo responded, at first refusing to get involved, but eventually conceding once it was clear the sasaeng fan could not be reasoned with.
Beside you, Tae looked stricken, his face drained of all color as he stared down at Jisoo’s phone. He hadn’t said a word, but you knew exactly what was going through his mind. Family was everything to Tae; he loved and protected his fiercely. He went to extraordinary measures to keep them hidden and allow them to live safe, normal lives. It broke his heart that he often couldn’t be there with them, that he had to miss things like his brother’s baseball games and sister’s dance recitals, but he had no other choice. The risk of him being recognized and his family being exposed was just too great. If anything ever happened to them because of him, he would never forgive himself.
“I don’t know how this happened,” Jisoo sobbed into your shoulder, almost incoherently. “I’ve always been so careful. I’ve never posted photos of her. I’ve never gone out in public with her. I’ve never shared any of her personal information. I've been an idol for six years and no one has ever found her before now.”
“Hyejin is only seventeen,” she went on despondently. “It’s my job to take care of her and keep her safe, but I didn’t do that. She’s in danger and it’s my fault. All of this is my fault.”
With every word she spoke, your heart broke a little more. From the conversations he’d had with Jisoo over the last few months, Tae had gathered that she didn’t have the best home life while growing up. After her parents went through a bitter divorce when she was very young, she and Hyejin ended up living with their father. He never remarried, but their mother did and then moved far away not long after. From that point forward, Jisoo became somewhat of a mother figure to her younger sister, doing everything she could to help raise the young girl and also protect her from their father who unfortunately was not always the kindest man.
After joining the drama club simply to get out of the house, Jisoo quickly discovered that she had both a talent and passion for performing. With encouragement from her performing arts teacher, she eventually auditioned with YG entertainment when she was sixteen and was accepted as a trainee. Becoming a trainee allowed Jisoo to escape, but it also meant leaving her sister behind which made her feel unbearably guilty. Despite her hectic schedule as a trainee and eventual idol, Jisoo visited home as much as possible to continue taking care of Hyejin and, as soon as could afford it, arranged to have her enrolled in a private boarding school just outside of Seoul.
It was rare for Jisoo to step out of her cold, hard idol persona, even when she was alone with Tae, but when she’d spoken of her sister he had noted an undeniable warmth and tenderness. Though she often tried to play it off, it was clear to him that she absolutely adored the girl and would do anything for her. In what you now realized was the most ironic and heartbreaking turn of events, it had actually been Jisoo’s quiet, but unwavering love for her sister that ultimately convinced Tae that she could be trusted to safeguard your love.
“I’m so sorry,” Jisoo said again, finally lifting her head to look at you. “I know I shouldn’t have given in, but I was just so scared. I didn’t know what to do. They knew so much about her and were threatening such terrible things. I was so afraid of what would happen if I asked for help. I just panicked.”
“I just wanted them to stop,” she added softly, looking and sounding so terribly distraught. “I just wanted them to leave my little sister alone.”
As you watched tears once again well up her eyes, and felt your heart ripping apart, you were struck with a truly devastating realization: the sasaeng fan targeted Jisoo as a way to get to you. Had they been able to discover your identity, it wouldn’t have been Hyejin being threatened, it would have been Jia and Nari. A gut-wrenching mixture of relief and guilt immediately welled up inside you. What would you have done if that had happened? What would you have done if someone threatened the people you loved most in the entire world?
The answer was immediate: you would have done anything to protect them.
“I know,” you told her as the first few tears began spilling down your own cheeks. “I know and I understand. I have two sisters and I love them more than life itself. I can’t even imagine how scared you must have been.”
“I’m so sorry that they did this to you because of me,” you went on, now crying in earnest. “I’m sorry and I forgive you.”
“I forgive you too,” Tae added softly as he wrapped an arm around you and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“We’re not going to let this person hurt you or your sister,” he then vowed. “We’ll figure this out together, I promise.”
~~~
Jisoo accompanied you and Tae to your meeting with Bang PD and the Big Hit lawyer. With your support, she told them everything she’d shared with you, showing them the messages and photos and explaining what had happened. Bang PD was extremely concerned about the breach in security and quite disappointed that she hadn’t come forward sooner, but mostly he was upset that you’d all gone through such an awful experience.
He and the lawyer spent the next few hours explaining what would happen moving forward. Sadly, it was nothing new for one of their idols to be threatened and blackmailed, though they did acknowledge that this was a particularly messy situation. The authorities would be contacted immediately to help track down the person who had contacted Jisoo and bring charges against them. In the meantime, security would be heightened for you, Tae, and Jisoo as well as Hyejin.
Given that this person had been holding onto these photos for months, the lawyer was fairly confident that they had no actual intentions of releasing them. Usually when someone had compromising photos or information they wanted one of two things: money or attention. Money was clearly not the motivator in this situation; this person could have made a fortune by selling the photos of you and Tae, but had chosen not to. As long as ‘Jisoo’, aka the police using Jisoo’s phone, kept contacting them, they would be happy and cooperative, ideally long enough to be found.
When it was time for Jisoo and the lawyer to leave and go to the police station, you got up to give her a hug goodbye. She instantly returned it and then asked if the two of you could talk real in the hallway. Once the door closed she apologized again, not for what had transpired over the last three weeks, but for everything that had happened over the last year and a half. With a blush, she bluntly admitted to having always had a crush on Tae and being jealous of you. Even before you were together, she’d noticed the way he looked at you and spoke of you and suspected that he thought of you as more than a colleague or friend. She flirted with him nonetheless, and held out hope that maybe he’d someday return her feelings, but while they were recording the song together over the summer she finally accepted he was legitimately in love with you.
She said it stung to sing a love song with her crush, knowing that he wrote it for another woman, and that it hurt even more when Tae reached out to her almost two months later asking to fake date her to hide his relationship with you. To her it was a slap in the face since she thought she’d made it pretty obvious over the summer that she was genuinely interested in him. Given how aloof Tae could sometimes be, you knew it was entirely possible that he’d missed even the clearest signs that she’d given him.
In hindsight, she realized that she never should have agreed to the fake dating arrangement. She thought she could separate her feelings and approach the situation objectively, but she was wrong. She felt bitter and frustrated and honestly confused at times and she took it out on you by being petty and pushing the envelope when she was with Tae.
Her heartfelt apology was one you deeply appreciated and accepted without hesitation. Had you been in her shoes, you’re honestly not sure you would have handled it any better. You knew it would have absolutely crushed you to have Tae hold your hand and kiss your cheek and call you Jagi, but not actually mean any of it.
After saying one final goodbye, and promising to talk with her later to hear how everything went with the police, you went back into Bang PD’s office. He was on the phone with someone from the security team so you wordlessly sat down and waited for him to finish. As you gazed out the window at the Han River, contemplating how truly unbelievable the last twenty four hours had been, Tae reached over from where he was sitting beside you and took your hand. Turning to face him, you found him holding up a finger heart with his other hand which instantly brought a smile to your lips.
“I know it’s been such a long and tiring day for the two of you, but before you leave there is still one more matter that we need to discuss,” Bang PD tentatively began after he finally hung up the phone.
“Your relationship,” he then simply stated after a brief pause.
Amidst all the drama regarding Jisoo and the sasaeng fan, you had almost forgotten that this conversation was likely to take place today. Even though you had long ago accepted its inevitable outcome, you found yourself feeling incredibly nervous now that the moment had finally arrived. Sitting up straighter in your chair as Tae gave your hand an encouraging squeeze, you waited with bated breath for the Big Hit CEO to continue.
“I’ll be honest, my gut reaction last night was to forbid Taehyung from revealing your relationship to anyone here at Big Hit even after you left so as to avoid any controversy,” he admitted warily, causing your heart to seize.
“One of my biggest concerns is a potential scandal,” he went on. “We have done an excellent job so far maintaining the privacy of everyone’s relationships, in large part because our staff has been so compliant with their nondisclosure agreements, but I worried about how news of your relationship would be perceived internally. The optics are not great, especially with Jisoo being involved as well, and I feared there would be significant backlash once word got out.”
“However, I had a meeting with someone this morning who convinced me that a different, but equally drastic action needed to be taken,” he then said, giving you both a tight lipped smile.
Just then, he opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a large manila envelope. It was unlabeled, save for the red ‘confidential’ stamp in the upper left hand corner. After holding it in his hands for a few moments, he eventually laid it down on the desk and then gently slid it over to you.
Picking it up with your free hand that was shaking ever so slightly, you realized that whatever was inside was rather thick and immediately your mind began racing. The envelope said ‘confidential’ so it must contain some sort of legal document. Did he just serve you court papers? Was Big Hit actually suing you for breach of contract?
“Sir, what is this?” you asked quietly, trying desperately to keep your voice from trembling.
“Why don’t you open it and find out,” was all he said in reply.
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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TGTBT Update
The next chapter is coming soon, I promise! After pouring my heart and soul into this story for almost 8 months, my type-A, perfectionist self needs to make sure that it gets wrapped up with the prettiest bow.
In the meantime, please swoon over our adorable and loveable TaeTae 💜
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 52 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 7.0k
warnings: a lethal amount of fluff
Chapter 52: I Carry Jagi
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As you stared at your doctor with wide-eyes, mouth parted in absolute disbelief, your hands subconsciously came to rest on your abdomen.
“I’m pregnant?” you questioned in a small, breathy voice.
“You are,” she confirmed with a tentative smile. “Both the urine and blood tests came back positive.”
She then walked over to the bed, pulled a clear bag out of her pocket, and handed it to you. Inside was a little plastic cartridge with your name written on it. It didn’t look quite like the ones you’d buy at the pharmacy, but it was very clearly a pregnancy test.
A pregnancy test displaying a positive result.
One of the very first questions the nurse asked when she did your initial examination was if there was any chance you were pregnant. Like every other time you had been asked this question by a medical professional, you immediately and automatically replied ‘no’. She said they would still do the tests since it was standard procedure, but you truly thought nothing of it at the time. It wasn’t until she left the room that you remembered that Tae had also wondered if you might be pregnant just two days earlier, but even then you still didn’t consider it to be a legitimate possibility. You two had only been having sex for a little over a month and had used protection every single time. The idea that your protection had somehow failed and you then happened to convince during one of the first few times you had sex seemed downright preposterous.
Looking back now, you realized there were actually numerous indications that this idea was not that far-fetched. You had been convinced that the nausea and body aches and fatigue you experienced this past week were all psychosomatic symptoms of your mental distress, but you failed to note the fact that, even when your mental health was infinitely worse several years ago, it hadn’t physically manifested to anywhere near this extent. The overly-emotional state you’d recently been in was another sign you had clearly missed. Although you had always been a sensitive person, you typically internalized your feelings instead of letting them out. During the last month, though, you had shed more tears than ever before in your life, sometimes with good reason, but honestly, sometimes without.
However, upon hearing your doctor’s next question, you realized there was another, far clearer signal that you had somehow not seen amidst the chaos of the fake dating fiasco.
“Do you recall the date of your last period?” she asked gently. “That will tell us how far along you are.”
To be honest, you never really kept track of your period. It had always come pretty regularly and, at least until recently, you never had any reason to believe that would change. Racking your brain, you tried to think of the last time your life was inconvenienced by this oh-so-wonderful aspect of womanhood. With a blush, a memory suddenly came to mind: you gently stopping Tae’s hands when they began wandering during a heated make-out session and then sheepishly telling him that you had your period.
You were embarrassed because you had completely forgotten and then been the one to escalate things with your own teasing touches, but he didn’t bat an eye at your admission. Instead, he said with utter sincerity that it didn’t bother him at all and that he still wanted to make you feel good in whatever way you were comfortable with. You were so appreciative of his words, but also a bit taken aback by them, especially since your college boyfriend barely touched you when you had your period, something which always made you feel a bit ashamed.
After pressing your lips to his, you shyly suggested that the shower might be the best place for you two to continue. He gave you a small, slightly mischievous smile in response before scrambling off of the bed, scooping you up in his arms bridal style, and then carrying you to the bathroom. Under the stream of hot water, while he murmured sweet nothings and filthy praises between slow, sensual kisses, he used his long, lithe fingers to not only make you feel good, but to make you feel beautiful and perfect just the way you were.
That intimate experience had taken place in your hotel room in Los Angeles during the second half of your trip to America. You had shared similar ones in the days that followed, but none, you suddenly realized, since returning home.
“It was about six or seven weeks ago,” you admitted quietly, feeling positively mortified that you had not noticed your missed period and therefore understood its massive implications sooner.
“Many women don’t realize they are pregnant this early on, especially if they weren’t actively trying to conceive,” she replied, clearly noting your embarrassment and trying to make you feel better.
“And, based on your reaction, I’m guessing you weren’t actively trying?” she then gently offered, absolutely no hint of judgement in her voice.
“No, we weren’t,” you confessed sheepishly as your face flushed. “So this...this is a big surprise.”
Over the next ten or so minutes, your doctor shared with you a rather overwhelming amount of pregnancy-related information. She explained that this was likely one of the reasons why you fainted due to the fact that your blood pressure drops during pregnancy which can lead to dizziness and actual fainting spells in some instances. She mentioned that you needed to start taking prenatal vitamins immediately and also encouraged you to make an appointment with your OB-GYN as soon as possible. She also let you know that someone would be coming by in a little while to perform an ultrasound to check the health of the fetus.
As grateful as you were for her support and guidance, you couldn't deny that you were relieved when she finally excused herself and exited the room. You just needed a moment alone to catch your breath and begin trying to process everything. Laying back down on the bed, you took the pregnancy test out of the bag, held it up in front of you, and stared at the two tiny, pink, life-changing lines.
Pregnant.
You were pregnant.
The baby that you and Tae had somehow conceived despite always using protection was currently growing inside you, had actually been growing inside you for a month and a half, and would be born in approximately seven and a half months at which point you and Tae would become real life parents.
The thought was absolutely mind blowing.
And, given that today had already been one the most overwhelming and unpredictable days of your entire life, that was saying a lot.
An infinite number of possibilities and questions and worries began rushing through your mind, but before you had a chance to contemplate even a single one, the door suddenly opened again. You immediately stuffed the pregnancy test underneath the pillow behind you before Tae entered the room.
“I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” he said, closing the door and removing his disguise. “That was Bang PD. He wants us both to meet with him and the lawyer tomorrow morning before I meet with Jisoo later in the day. He thinks Namjoon-hyung should go with me, which I agree is probably a good idea.”
“He also thinks I should…,” he continued before he looked over at you and immediately went quiet.
You were staring at him, the father of the child you just discovered you were carrying, with big, searching eyes, your heart thrumming in your chest with nervous anticipation.
“Jagi, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern as he quickly came to sit down next to you on the side of the bed. “Did something happen while I was gone?”
You opened your mouth to say ‘Yes’, to tell him the news you had just received which would change both your lives forever, but the words would not come out. They were stuck there in your throat, thick and heavy, threatening to suffocate you.
“Sweetheart?” he questioned worriedly.
After trying and failing to speak for almost another full minute, you eventually decided to forgo words entirely. Instead, you reached underneath the pillow behind you and pulled out the pregnancy test. With a trembling hand, you held it out to Tae, your heart threatening to leap out of your chest as he carefully took it from you and looked down.
Witnessing the exact moment that Tae realized he was going to be a dad was a truly breathtaking experience, one that you knew would be forever etched into your memory. His initial expression was one of total shock, his eyes wide and his mouth agape, but when he looked up at you and saw you smiling shyly, it morphed into one of pure, unadulterated joy. When he gave you the biggest, brightest, boxiest smile you’d ever seen on his beautiful face, your mind cleared of all thoughts save one.
I hope our baby has his smile.
“Jagi, you’re pregnant?” he whispered, gazing at you in wonder and amazement.
You nodded your head as your smile grew.
“Our baby is right here?” he then asked as he gently placed his hand on your abdomen.
“It is,” you replied quietly, bringing your hand down beside his and carefully lacing your fingers.
He was silent for several moments as he looked once more at the pregnancy test, down at your joined hands resting on your abdomen, and finally back up at you. Bringing his free hand up to cup your cheek, he then leaned in to give you the sweetest of kisses. As his lips moved against yours, slowly and tenderly, like he was savoring every single second, his thumb gently caressed your cheek. When he finally broke this kiss and pulled back to look at you, his eyes were filled with tears.
“Sweetheart, this is the happiest moment of my entire life,” he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted - a family with you, my best friend, my beautiful Jagi.”
His words enveloped you like a warm, comforting embrace, one that made you feel safe and loved and cherished. As confident as you were that this was going to be his reaction, hearing him voice his feelings so passionately and sincerely meant the absolute world to you. Knowing that he wasn’t just supportive, but truly excited, allowed you to finally embrace your own feelings.
“This has been my dream for three years, Tae,” you confessed, gazing into his misty eyes, tears pooling in your own. “I love you with all my heart and I’m so excited to be starting a family with you.”
“I love you too, Jagi,” he replied, still tenderly stroking your cheek. “I love you and our baby so much. I’m going to take care of you both and be the best husband and father I can possibly be. I promise I’ll always be there for you and for our family.”
Husband
The instant that word left his lips, you froze as the cold, harsh reality of your situation came crashing down upon you, shattering the blissful state you had been in just seconds ago. While you deeply appreciated his beautiful promise for the future, it sadly did nothing to lessen the blow that he had unintentionally just dealt you. With his declaration, Tae had reminded you of a simple, but crucial fact, one whose gravity had truly not occurred to you until this very moment:
Tae wasn’t your husband, at least not yet.
And, more importantly, he wasn't your husband when your baby was conceived.
It was this sobering realization that caused the first few tears to begin sliding down your cheeks.
The sad truth was that the stigma around premarital pregnancy was still very strong. In the K-pop world specifically, where there was already so much drama regarding idol’s relationships, it was an even bigger issue. This fact was put on wide display earlier in the year when the lead vocalist from the group EXO, Chen, announced his engagement to his pregnant girlfriend. Many people in their fandom and elsewhere in the K-pop community were supportive, but a surprising number of people were not. They said terrible things about him and his fiancé, calling him selfish and reckless and accusing her of trapping him with the pregnancy. Some even went so far as to call for his immediate removal from the group.
If word ever got out that lovable, innocent BTS darling, Kim Taehyung, was having a baby out of wedlock, with his own stylist of all people, it would be a massive scandal. There was obviously so much more to the story than that, so much nuisance regarding the situation and your relationship as a whole, but all of that would surely be lost within the media frenzy. The public debate and backlash could spell the end of Tae’s career, jeopardize everything BTS has spent almost a decade building, and, worst of all, cause so much hurtful speculation about you, your relationship, and your baby.
Even if the truth was never revealed to the general public, you and Tae would certainly still face judgment. You trusted that your family, Tae’s family, and the rest of the guys would be supportive, but after that you honestly weren’t sure. It pained you to admit that many of your own relatives would no doubt find your situation to be rather shameful. Some of them were extremely conservative and believed you shouldn’t even have sex before marriage. They might never say anything directly to you, but you knew they would wonder and whisper and forever view you differently.
At Big Hit, the fallout would likely be even more extreme. Bang PD and the management team certainly weren’t going to be thrilled to learn of this scandalous surprise, especially since they were already worried Jisoo might divulge information about your relationship. Everyone else in the company would also surely have opinions on the matter. You and Tae being together was going to be enough of a controversy as it was and an unplanned pregnancy would only add more fuel to the fire. People like Eunji and Donghae might have your back, maybe even Mrs. Choi as well, but other staff members were absolutely going to gossip. You were leaving Big Hit soon, so you thankfully wouldn't have to deal with that for very long, but Tae would have to endure it for at least the next five years.
Complicating things further was the fact that many of the people in your life would not be allowed to know you were with Tae until after he left Big Hit. There weren’t hard and fast rules about who you could or couldn’t tell, but you were supposed to keep the circle of people as small as possible and everyone you told had to sign an NDA. People like distant relatives and casual friends were going to eventually find out that you were pregnant, but you wouldn’t even be able to fully explain why you had to keep your relationship with the father hidden which would only make things look that much more suspicious.
The unavoidable truth was that people were going to have questions regarding the nature of your relationship once they learned that you and Tae had gotten pregnant before you were even engaged, let alone married. Even if they someday came to accept that you were in love and happy to be raising a child together, they might always have lingering doubts about the true reason why you got married. Knowing that people might forever question the sincerity of your commitment to one another honestly just broke your heart.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Tae asked, his brow furrowing slightly as he studied your face. “Those don’t look like tears of joy.”
“Are you nervous about becoming a parent?” he offered when you didn't immediately reply. “If you are, that's perfectly OK. I’m nervous too, but it’s going to be alright. We’re going to figure everything out together. You're going to be an amazing mom. I just know it.”
“It’s n-not that,” you replied weakly, your heart melting upon hearing his sweet words of assurance.
For the second time that night, you took a deep, steadying breath and summoned the courage to tell Tae something that you knew would be extremely hard for him to hear.
“I’m afraid that people will judge us,” you whispered.
“I’m afraid that they will think you’re only marrying me because you got me pregnant”, you then admitted tearfully, glancing down at the ringless finger in your joined hands.
“That they’ll think we were just hooking up and being irresponsible and that our baby…,” you went on before your voice broke.
Looking back up at Tae, you found that the tender, loving expression he had worn since the moment you gave him the pregnancy test had vanished and in its place was one of unbearable sadness. You knew your next words would only amplify the anguish he already felt, but you just couldn’t hold them in. They were simply too great a burden to bear by yourself.
“That our baby was a mistake,” you finally confessed with a terrible sob.
Tears instantly welled up in his own eyes, but before you had a chance to see them fall he climbed onto the bed beside you and lifted you up onto his lap. Safely cradled in his arms, you began sobbing into his chest, holding absolutely nothing back as feelings of fear and sadness and guilt poured out of you. He was clearly trying to be strong for you, stroking your back soothingly and pressing endless kisses to your temple, but you could tell from the deep, shuddering breaths he took that he too was struggling to keep it together.
“T-That’s not going to happen,” he stammered out, his voice hoarse and strained, filled with such obvious pain. “I’m not going to let that happen.”
“I won’t let anyone think those awful things about us and our baby,” he then vowed as he lightly rocked you in his arms. “I won’t, Jagi. I won’t.”
“I have always wanted you to be my wife and always wanted to have a family with you,” he went on. “I’ll make sure everyone knows that.”
“I-I promise,” he added quietly, almost to himself rather than to you.
You desperately wanted to believe him, to dismiss your fears and trust that he could protect you both from this hurt, but you knew in your heart that this promise was one he could not keep. No matter what he said or did, the truth was people were going to think what they wanted to think. Some would take the time to understand and appreciate your long and complex and beautiful love story, but some unfortunately would not. Some would judge you and doubt you and accuse you and you would just have to learn how to live with that. When he said nothing more, just held you to him ever more tightly as a heartbreaking silence fell over the room, you knew he too had accepted this reality.
The two of you stayed there like that for a long time, Tae gently running his fingers through your hair while you absentmindedly traced patterns across his chest with your own. You felt incredibly guilty for ruining the joyous moment by sharing your fears, but you also knew it was for the best that you were both aware of what was likely to come. Sooner or later, people would find out about your situation and, when they did, they would inevitably begin asking questions and sharing their opinions. You two needed to be prepared for how you were going to respond and then cope with the pain that would undoubtedly be caused.
“Jagi,” Tae suddenly said to break the silence. “We can get married right away - tomorrow even, if I could meet with your dad first - but no one outside of our family and close friends needs to know that it happened after you got pregnant.”
It took you several moments to register the words he had spoken and their greater implications, but when you finally did you raised your head off of his shoulder to look at him.
“Are you…are you saying we should lie about when we got married?” you asked hesitantly.
“Sweetheart, what does being married mean to you?” he asked in reply, his tone warm and affectionate.
You were quiet for several moments while you considered his question. On the surface, marriage was a formal, legal union between two people, but its true meaning ran so much deeper than that. When you thought of marriage, the very first thing that came to mind was the one your parents had shared for twenty five years. You thought of all the ways, both big and small, that they showed their love for one another. You thought about how they wholly accepted one another, faults and all, and helped each other grow. You thought of all the compromises and sacrifices they made and how their relationship and your family was always their top priority. And, above all else, you thought of their unwavering commitment to each other right up until the very end.
“That you’re committed to spending your life with someone and to loving and supporting them no matter what,” you finally answered, your eyes shimmering from the remembrance of those sad, but beautiful memories.
“That is exactly how I feel,” he replied, wiping away your tears that had fallen. “And, in my eyes, we’ve already made that commitment.”
“We made and sealed it when I gave you this,” he then said softly as he took your hand and ran his thumb along your couple’s ring.
“This ring was a promise of marriage, sweetheart,” he confessed as he brought your hand to his lips and placed a little kiss to your ringed-finger. “A promise of forever.”
“You knew that, right?” he then asked, giving you a small, slightly bashful smile. “You knew then that I wanted to be your husband and for you to be my wife?”
As you laid there in his arms, gazing into his eyes and seeing nothing but love reflected in them, you thought back to that morning in your bedroom when he gave you the ring…
For a moment you were utterly speechless. You knew without question that it was not a coincidence that this ring matched the one he wore around his neck and the knowledge of that fact was overwhelming in the best way possible. The statement he was making by giving it to you was clear as day and had you falling impossibly deeper in love with him.
“Baby, it’s absolutely beautiful,” you said breathlessly as he gently took the ring from you and slipped it onto your finger. “Thank you so much.”
You then crawled out from under the covers and climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he automatically snuck his around your waist. He was sporting the biggest, brightest smile, one you found yourself instantly mimicking due to the abundance of love and joy that was blooming in your chest.
“You’re beautiful,” he said shyly as he pulled you closer and brought his lips to yours for a slow, sweet kiss.
“I love you, Jagi,” he then said softly after breaking away and looking deeply into your eyes. “I know things are difficult right now, but if you’re ever feeling anxious or scared or are having doubts about anything I want you to look down at this ring and remember that I will always love you.”
At his words, happy tears instantly pooled at the corners of your eyes. He always knew just what you needed, always knew just what to say to reassure you.
“I’ll always love you, too,” you said quietly as you pressed your lips against his once more and took his hand, intertwining your fingers and bringing together the two rings you now wore to symbolize your commitment to one another.
In that moment you knew that all you needed to do was trust in him and the love you had for one another. If you did that, no matter what anyone else did or said, you two would surely be OK...
“I did,” you finally replied as a shy smile spread across your face. “As soon as I saw the purple color, I knew.”
“I was so excited because I wanted that too,” you then confessed, now beaming back at him. “More than anything.”
At the sound of your words, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before pulling back to look at you with a soft smile and adoring eyes.
“Sweetheart, I consider that the day that our lifelong partnership truly began,” he then said sincerely. “We exchanged those rings and vowed to always love each other in our own little special commitment ceremony.”
“Tannie was the witness,” he then added cheekily. “In fact, he was the ring bearer.”
At that, you couldn't help but smile and let out a soft laugh.
“We’ve been living out that commitment since then, Jagi, and that's what's most important,” he went on, growing serious once more. “We’ve been through so much, but we haven't given up on each other or our future together. We’ve acknowledged our mistakes, apologized and offered forgiveness, and promised to work on ourselves so we can become better partners and have a stronger, healthier relationship. We’ve continued to love and support each other no matter what.”
"If anyone questions the timeline of everything we’ll say that we had a private ceremony, that you got pregnant shortly after and we couldn’t be happier about it, and that we plan to have a wedding reception next year to celebrate with our family and friends," he then continued, sounding so sure and confident. "But, the fact that we didn't legally get married on the day of that ceremony isn't anyone’s business but our own."
As you gazed up at him, taking in his soft, earnest expression and the warmth it radiated, all of the fear and doubt that had been lingering in your heart melted away. What he was proposing wasn’t about fudging dates or saving face or avoiding a scandal. It wasn’t about lying. It was about acknowledging and embracing and protecting the most important truth of all: that you and Tae were deeply in love and fully committed to each other and to spending your lives together when your baby was conceived.
You didn’t need a legal document to prove that. Anyone who thought you did didn’t understand the true meaning of marriage anyway and therefore didn’t deserve to be given an opportunity to pass judgement. You and Tae had every right to protect yourselves and your baby from those people and anyone else who might hurt you, intentionally or otherwise. If that meant not publicly disclosing the date on which you actually signed a marriage license, you were perfectly OK with that. In all honesty, that day would never feel like the true beginning of your life together anyway.
“Can we celebrate the day of our little special commitment ceremony as our anniversary?” you then asked hesitantly, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he replied, giving you an adorably shy smile.
After reaching up to brush away a loose strand of your hair, he cupped your cheek and pulled you in for the softest, sweetest, most loving kiss, one that somehow, after all this time, caused a million butterflies to begin fluttering in your chest.
“You know, you called me Tannie’s mommy for the first time when you had him bring me the ring that morning,” you reminded Tae once he finally released your lips. “I loved the way it sounded and couldn’t help but imagine you calling me that when we actually had children.”
“Mommy,” he said softly, rubbing his nose against yours. “You’re going to be a mommy very soon.”
“And, you’re going to be a daddy,” you replied back as you kissed the tip of his nose.
“I am,” he said excitedly as a giant grin spread across his face. “I can’t believe it. I’m going to be a dad. You’re going to be a mom. We’re going to have a baby!”
He bent down to give you another quick kiss before lifting you up off his lap and laying you down beside him. You assumed he was going to come lay next to you so you could cuddle, but then he scooted down towards the foot of the bed and laid by your legs instead. You were confused at first, but when he gently lifted your shirt up a little you finally realized what he was doing.
“Hi little one,” he whispered against your tummy before placing a kiss just below your belly button. “This is Daddy.”
“I can’t wait to meet you and give you all the snuggles and kisses,” he cooed. “I can’t wait to see you and Mommy together and hold you both in my arms. My sweetheart and our baby.”
“I already love you so much,” he went on. “I love you and Mommy both so much, more than anything else in the whole world.”
As you watched him pepper more kisses all over your tummy, each one punctuated with an adorably loud ‘mwah’, you thought for sure that your heart would burst. Since the day you watched Tae play peekaboo with Son Sung Deuk’s baby for ten straight minutes, you knew he would one day make a great dad, but not even that sweet interaction could have prepared you for this. It had only been twenty minutes, but dad-to-be Tae was already beyond anything you could have imagined in your wildest dreams. You truly could not have asked for a more loving, supportive, and wonderful partner to raise a child with.
“However, because I love you I feel obligated to inform you that you are our first baby and that we have absolutely no idea what we’re doing,” Tae suddenly admitted, which made you giggle. “We’re going to read all the parenting books and ask your grandparents for advice and try our very best every single day, but it might be a little rough in the beginning. It’s going to take Mommy and I a little while to become fluent in baby language so I apologize in advance for any miscommunication. Hopefully we can resolve any issues amicably over a bottle of warm milk, but if you have any major concerns you can file a formal complaint with our family’s HR manager, Tanju.”
You were cracking up now, not just because of what he said, but how he said it. He sounded so serious and professional and wore a completely straight face. It was honestly as if he was in some super important business meeting brokering a huge deal.
“Being the first baby will have its perks, though,” he went on, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he spoke. “We’ll love you longest out of all of our children so you can rub that in your future sibling’s faces if they’re ever mean to you. You’re going to be the first grandchild on either side too, so you know you’re going to get extra spoiled because of that. And, you’re also going to be the first BTS baby which is quite the honor. Everyone thought Joon-hyung and Aera or Jin-hyung and Yuri would be first, but Mommy and I swooped in and beat everyone. We honestly weren’t even trying to win the race, but our baby-making skills were apparently just that good.”
At this point, you were laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. How he had managed to come up with all of that off the top of his head was simply beyond you. Of all the reasons why you loved Tae, of which there were many, his imagination and sense of humor were two of the biggest. It was moments like these that made you realize just how lucky you were to be in love with your best friend. With him by your side, you knew there would never be a dull moment as long as you lived.
“Basically, what I’m trying to say is that Mommy and I are awesome, we love you so much, and everything is going to be alright,” he then said, his stoic expression finally slipping as he cracked a smile. “We can’t wait to meet you in a couple months and introduce you to everyone, but until then you just focus on growing big and strong and maybe trying not to make Mommy too sick if you can help it.”
After whispering one more ‘I love you’ and giving your stomach a final kiss, Tae crawled back up to lay beside you. As he wound his arms around you and pulled you close, you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. Laying there together like that, you felt truly and completely at peace.
“I’m going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to make fun of me,” Tae suddenly said a few minutes later, sounding rather serious.
“OK, I promise I won’t,” you replied back, lifting your head to glance at him.
He was quiet for a few moments, his hands nervously fidgeting at your sides as he looked anywhere but at you.
“I already have a list of like thirty potential baby names,” he finally admitted with a sheepish smile.
“You do?” you whispered, giving him major heart-eyes as a big, dopey grin spread across your face.
“I do,” he confirmed, blushing wildly as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table where it had been charging. “I randomly thought of some a few months ago and wrote them down so I wouldn’t forget. Since then I’ve been adding to the list whenever I think of another one.”
He navigated to his ‘Notes’ app, clicked on one plainly titled ‘Names’, and then handed his phone over to you. There were a bunch of names on the screen in front of you for both boys and girls, but it was the first one on the list that immediately drew your attention.
“Jimin is the first name you thought of?” you asked before you burst out laughing.
“It wasn’t the first one,” he defended with a pout. “I just put it at the top of the list when I added it.”
“He says we have to name one of our kids after him so he can nickname them ‘Mini-Min’,” Tae then told you with a silly smile.
“Jimin would request that we name a kid after him,” you said back, rolling your eyes teasingly.
“What if we name one Taemin?” you offered a moment later. “That way they’ll be sort of named after you, but can still have the nickname ‘Mini-min’.”
“That could be a good compromise,” he replied, nodding his head in agreement. “I’ll add it to the list and run it by Jimin.”
For the next half hour you sat there together in your hospital bed, him leaning against the wall with you between his legs, snuggled against his chest. With one hand he held you safely to him, his fingers rubbing back and forth in a gentle, soothing way across your tummy underneath your shirt. With his other hand he held his phone up in front of you both while he scrolled through endless lists of names as well as numerous articles about pregnancy and babies and parenthood. It was all a bit surreal, and a little overwhelming too, to be honest, but knowing that you would be tackling everything together comforted you and made you far more excited than you were nervous.
When the ultrasound technician arrived a short while later, Tae quickly put his disguise back on which honestly made you a bit emotional. Even if the ultrasound was only going to show fuzzy black and white images of a little bean, it was still your little bean that you would be seeing for the first time. He was going to be wearing the biggest smile, you just knew it, and it broke your heart a tiny bit to know that you wouldn’t get to see it. However, you understood that he needed to be careful, not just for his sake or your sake anymore, but for the sake of your baby.
The technician was incredibly friendly and thankfully didn’t make any sort of fuss over the fact that Tae was clearly wearing a disguise. She talked to you both normally, carefully explaining what she was going to be doing and answering any questions that either of you had before she got started. From how nervous yet excited you both were, she correctly guessed that this was your first baby and then assured you that everything you were feeling right now was completely normal.
Tae held your hand the whole time she prepped you, periodically giving it little squeezes while his thumb softly stroked yours. When it was just about time to begin, he brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a little kiss through his facemask. As your joined hands then came to rest on the bed beside you, the technician began reaching over to grab the ultrasound transducer before suddenly stopping and turning back to face you both.
“You can take your disguise off if you’d like, Mr. Kim,” she said quietly, giving Tae a small, hesitant smile. “I promise I’m not going to tell anyone that you and your partner are expecting...or that you’re in a relationship to begin with.”
“For starters, it would be medically unethical, but, regardless, I would never betray your trust or violate your privacy like that. I respect you and the rest of the members too much to ever do such a thing,” she then said, her tone unmistakably sincere.
As your mouth dropped open, you looked over at Tae to find that his eyebrows had shot up above his sunglasses in obvious surprise.
“How did you…,” he began, his grip on your hand tightening as he spoke.
“Your voice,” she confessed shyly. “And your bracelets...and the fact that your sunglasses are Gucci.”
“I’m sorry if it's weird that I recognized you and I’m sorry if I’m being too forward,” she then quickly added. “It’s just...you shouldn’t have to hide right now.”
“Yes, you are ‘V’, the K-pop idol for BTS, but you are, first and foremost, Kim Taehyung, the person,” she went on passionately. “You deserve to enjoy this experience openly and proudly like every other expecting father. The two of you make such a cute couple and I can tell that you love each other so much. You should be able to share this special moment together without anything taking away from it.”
For perhaps the hundredth time that evening, tears welled up in your eyes, only these ones were decidedly happy. Her little speech was wonderful and adorable and everything you wanted and needed to hear. It was like she had read your mind and vocalized all of the thoughts she found swirling in there. You could tell from how sincerely she had spoken that she was suggesting this not just so she could catch a glimpse of Tae, but because she truly cared. Even though you had only known her for ten minutes, and even though Tae technically wasn’t supposed to reveal himself to anyone, you felt in your heart that you could trust her. So, when Tae turned towards you, silently asking for your thoughts, you nodded your head.
“What’s your name?” he asked as he turned back to face her.
“Chaewon,” she replied, now looking slightly nervous.
“Thank you, Chaewon,” he then said as he removed his mask, sunglasses, and hood. “Thank you for the kindness and respect you’ve shown us. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”
“Yes, thank you so much,” you added, giving her an appreciative smile.
“You’re welcome,” she replied politely. “But, I’m really just doing my job.”
“As a medical professional and as an ARMY,” she then added with a little grin.
Tae gave her a big, boxy smile in return before turning back to look at you. He leaned down and gave you a kiss, told you again that he loved you so much, and then took your hand once more.
“OK,” he said, barely able to contain his excitement. “We’re ready to see our baby.”
~~~
It was almost 2:00 AM when the Big Hit company driver pulled up in front of the apartment complex. The trip home from the hospital had only taken twenty minutes, but that had apparently still been long enough for you to fall into a deep sleep. By the time you had fully woken up, you weren’t even in the car anymore, you were in Tae’s arms and he was already walking into the lobby.
“Tae,” you mumbled sleepily. “I can walk.”
“Nope,” he quickly replied. “Not allowed.”
“Jagi carries baby, I carry Jagi,” he then stated proudly.
Smiling to yourself at how unbelievably adorable he was, you didn’t protest again and instead just burrowed deeper into his warm, loving embrace, your hand resting over the front pocket of his shirt where the sonogram printout was safely tucked. You and Tae had both cried during the ultrasound, softly when the first image came up on the monitor, but in earnest when you saw your baby’s heartbeat. It was, without a doubt, the most incredible experience of your life. As he whisked you past the garden of beautiful purple flowers, humming happily to himself while he pressed little kisses to the top of your head, you felt more certain than ever that everything wouldn’t just be alright, it would be wonderful.
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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Hello! Im enjoying your story too good to be true! can i be added to the taglist?? thank you!
Yes! Absolutely :)
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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TGTBT Update
Next chapter is dropping soon! Hopefully in the next day or two. Just wanted to give you all heads up so you can book appointments at the dentist 🙃💜
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 51 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 8.2k
warnings: none
Chapter 51: The Candle And The Sun
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The moment the paramedics closed the ambulance doors, the gravity of the whole situation finally started sinking in. You had a terrible fight with Tae during which you accused him of cheating and still needed to have what would surely be a heart wrenching conversation with him about it. Your secret was out and you were going to be fired. And, you had fainted, been unconscious for over a minute, and were now headed to the hospital, one of your least favorite places on Earth.
Each one of those experiences was incredibly stressful in and of itself so the fact that they all occurred within the span of an hour was downright overwhelming. As the ambulance roared to life, you could feel the panic beginning to envelop you, but then suddenly Mrs. Choi reached over from where she was sitting beside you and took your hand. She didn’t say anything, just gave you a smile which you returned, but with that small, simple gesture you felt yourself instantly relax. You weren’t alone. It was going to be OK. Taking a deep, steadying breath, you pulled out your phone with your free hand and sent a few quick messages to Tae.
[Taehyung 7:52 PM] I know you’re busy meeting with Bang PD, but I just want to say I’m so sorry for everything.
[Taehyung 7:52 PM] Thank you for taking care of me and sticking up for me and coming with me.
[Taehyung 7:53 PM] I love you and I’ll see you soon.
The drive went by rather quickly and before you knew it, you were being wheeled into the emergency department at the Seoul National University Hospital. Bypassing the horde of people in the waiting room, you were immediately escorted to a private, secluded room just as Bang PD had requested. It looked a little on the nicer side compared to the other hospital rooms you’d had the misfortune of frequenting throughout your mom’s illness, but all in all it was about what you were expecting: cold, sterile, depressing. Thankfully you weren’t alone when the admissions nurse left the room; Mrs. Choi was there to help you get settled in and keep your nerves from running amuck. Even still, you were anxiously waiting for Tae to arrive.
[Taehyung 8:14 PM] Just got to the hospital.
[Taehyung 8:18 PM] I’m in room 304.
[Taehyung 8:20 PM] Mrs. Choi said she can meet you at the back entrance when you arrive and bring you here.
While you waited to hear back from Tae, Mrs. Choi and you made idle chit chat. To your surprise, she did not chastise you for your blatant disregard of the rules of your contract. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all about the massive revelation from the roof and the consequences you were surely going to suffer as a result. On the contrary, she was nothing but supportive, reassuring you numerous times that everything was going to be OK and urging you to rest. Her presence was extremely comforting and you found yourself feeling increasingly grateful that she had offered to come with you.
When the door to your room opened fifteen minutes later, your heart immediately leapt thinking Tae had finally made it, but it sunk back down just as quickly when you realized your visitor was just another nurse. After Mrs. Choi quietly excused herself to the waiting room to give you privacy, the nurse began doing an examination. She checked your vitals again and asked you some general questions about your health and medical history. Next, she had you go into the en-suite bathroom to provide a urine sample so they could run some tests. Finally, she drew some of your blood so even more tests could be done. Once you were done with all that, she let you know that a doctor would be in with you shortly and then exited the room, leaving you alone for the first time since everything happened.
[Taehyung 8:38 PM] They just took my blood and I didn’t even cry.
[Taehyung 8:38 PM] You would be so proud.
[Taehyung 8:39 PM] But, I still wish I could have held your hand.
[Taehyung 8:40 PM] Are you close?
[Taehyung 8:45 PM] Or at least only your way?
You couldn’t deny that you were beginning to get ever-so-slightly stressed that Tae hadn’t arrived yet or, at the very least, responded to your texts. Back on the roof, Bang PD had made it seem like their conversation would be brief, but it had now been over an hour since you left Big Hit. If the whole point of letting Tae come was so that he could be with you during the examinations and procedures and other things that frightened you, why was Bang PD keeping him this long?
When the door opened again a little while later and it once again wasn’t Tae, but rather your doctor, your heart plummeted even further. She was an older woman with a kind face and an even kinder voice, but her warm smile did nothing to calm your nerves. She agreed with the paramedic’s initial assessment, that you fainted due to a combination of low blood sugar from not having dinner and emotional distress from your fight. However, she did still order an electrocardiogram to check for any heart arrhythmias and said a technician would come by soon to administer the test. After telling you to just sit tight and giving you another encouraging smile, she then left the room.
[Taehyung 9:01 PM] They’re going to do an ECG to make sure my heart is OK.
[Taehyung 9:01 PM] I’m kind of nervous.
[Taehyung 9:02 PM] I hope you can get here soon.
As the seconds ticked by and still you received no response, your heart sank lower and lower and lower. You knew an ECG was a standard, completely harmless procedure, but you still wanted Tae there with you when it was performed. You wanted him to hold your hand and rub your thumb with his and remind you that everything was going to be OK. For twenty minutes you sat there staring at your phone, willing it to light up with a message notification, but sadly none ever came. When the door finally opened again and the ECG technician wheeled in the machine, your heart crashed down on the cold basement floor of your chest. Fighting back tears, you sent off a few more messages before putting your phone away so the test could begin.
[Taehyung 9:12 PM] Tae?
[Taehyung 9:12 PM] Is everything OK?
[Taehyung 9:13 PM] Are you still coming?
The second the tech left the room a half hour later, you glanced down at your phone only to be met with the same devastating sight as before: no new messages. Reading and rereading the unanswered string of evermore desperate-sounding ones you sent to Tae, a pit grew in your stomach as you began seriously considering the possibility that he wasn’t actually coming. You wondered if Bang PD changed his mind and decided not to let him come after all or worse, if he never intended for Tae to come in the first place and had only said that so he would leave the roof. You would be disappointed to learn that either of those things were true, but both of them were better than the other explanation swirling through your mind: that Tae had decided not to come.
He had been so affectionate and protective back on the roof, and had promised that the two of you would be OK, but what if that had just been a gut reaction? What if he had only acted that way because he felt guilty that you fainted? What if, now that the crisis was over and he’d had time to think through everything that happened, he was having second thoughts about you and your future together?
You knew it wasn’t productive or healthy to contemplate such things, but you couldn’t help it. You were alone and anxious, physically exhausted and emotionally unstable. The memory of Tae’s reaction to your accusation played on an endless loop in your mind, how his face had crumpled and his lower lip began to tremble before the first few tears slowly spilled out. He looked heartbroken, absolutely shattered, and it was all your fault. If he couldn’t forgive you for the hurt you’d caused and didn’t want to be with you anymore, could you even blame him?
Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you tried to corral your toxic, wandering thoughts. He promised he would be there and he promised you two would be OK. He promised. He wouldn’t break that promise. He wouldn’t have said those words if he didn’t mean them.
Right?
In an attempt to calm yourself down, you started singing ‘Sweet Night’ in your head. You tried to imagine the way Tae had done it back on the roof, how soft and soothing his voice had been, but the melody running through your mind right now was the opposite of comforting. It was unmistakably sorrowful, but two lines in particular had your breath hitching and your heart leaping up into your throat.
Now my forever’s falling down Wondering if you’d want me now?
Tae told you once that he wrote ‘Sweet Night’ from the perspective of his future self. Years from now, once he left BTS and you left Big Hit and the rules of your contracts no longer applied, he would come find you and confess his love. The window that was your time spent as colleagues and friends would be closed, but the door to your future as so much more would be wide open. You would walk through it together and the sadness of having once been ‘ships in the night’ would be forgotten entirely.
Unfortunately, that beautiful, picture perfect scenario is not the one that ended up playing out. After slowly drifting towards one another for three years, you grew impatient. You blatantly disregarded the will of the tides and instead chose to force your way forward with reckless haste. But, when the vast expanse of space between you finally disappeared, you didn’t pass by each other as nature intended, you collided, the result of which was your improbable, forbidden, whirlwind romance. And now, rather than floating on in opposite directions, the door still open to one day meet again and move forward together, you were both sinking to the bottom of the sea.
Maybe this was what you deserved. You broke the rules and cheated the system. You tried to have your cake and eat it too, but your plan backfired horrendously and now you were in danger of losing everything. In one fell swoop, you could lose the love of your life, your best friend, and your job. It would be a terrible end to your journey, but you would really only have yourself to blame.
Tears welled up in your eyes as the harsh reality began setting in. It had been almost two hours since you left Big Hit. If Tae was coming, surely he would have arrived by now. While there could still be a valid reason for why he wasn’t with you, his silence warned you not to get your hopes up. At this point, you realized it would probably be best for you to just acknowledge that he wasn’t coming and maybe even tell him you were doing fine on your own. That way if he had chosen not to come he wouldn’t feel so guilty and you also wouldn’t look so pathetic.
With a trembling hand, you pulled out your phone and began typing the message, trying to strike the right balance of contrition and nonchalance. After writing and rewriting it countless times, you were finally about to press send when suddenly the door to your room opened yet again. There in the doorway was a hooded figure, wearing a black facemask and dark sunglasses. The disguise was excellent, the average person would have no idea who was hidden behind it, but you knew instantly who it was.
Tae
For a few moments he just stood there, taking in the sight of you curled up on the bed in a sad, lonely heap, but then he was quickly stepping into the room. The instant the door closed behind him you burst into tears. In a heartbeat, he crossed the room and climbed onto the bed beside you, ripping off the hood, mask, and glasses as he went. As he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest, you buried your face in the crook of his neck and sobbed, letting out everything you had been holding back since you woke up back on the roof in a terrified daze.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he said guiltily between kisses to your temple. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”
“I meant to be here hours ago, but my meeting with Bang PD ended up being so long and then the security team had concerns about me coming here,” he went on as he rubbed your back soothingly. “My phone was dead so I couldn’t text you and I didn’t realize until we left just how late it had gotten.”
“But, I…I should have found a way to let you know what was happening,” he then added quietly as you continued to weep, your frail body racking with sobs. “I should have had someone else text you or Mrs. Choi. God, Jagi. I’m so sorry. You…you must have been so worried.”
It took you several minutes to calm down enough so that you could actually speak. The emotion you were most overcome with was relief, but there was a small part of you that was frustrated with him. The last two hours of radio silence had been torture. Just the briefest of messages from him could have put you at ease and stopped you from spiraling.
“I was afraid you weren’t coming,” you finally confessed, your words shaky and muffled.
“I texted you a bunch of times, but you didn’t respond,” you went on. “I started worrying that something was wrong.”
“I-I thought maybe you changed your mind about us being OK,” you then added, your voice breaking at the end.
He hugged you to him even more tightly as he realized just how much worry he had caused you by leaving you all alone and in the dark for so long.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he replied back, his voice thick and strained, filled with such pain. “Of course you would worry like that after two hours without hearing from me. It was so careless of me to let that happen. I should have realized the meeting would be long and asked to use someone’s phone as soon as the lawyer got there.”
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated before pressing a long kiss to your forehead.
Any trace of frustration you felt over his lack of communication vanished that instant. You just couldn’t be upset with him. Not when he sounded so remorseful and you were just so happy that he was finally there. And, not when it seemed like he had a valid and highly disconcerting reason to have been too distracted to get in touch with you.
“Baby, it’s OK,” you assured him, pulling back to look at him. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
“But…why did you have to meet with a lawyer?” you then asked nervously. “Are we in that much trouble for breaking our contracts?”
“No, it’s not that,” he quickly replied, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, we barely talked at all about our contracts and the fact that we broke them or how we’re going to be disciplined.”
Those words came as quite a bit of a shock, but it was his next ones that had your blood running cold.
“We actually spent the entire time talking about Jisoo,” he then said, his voice hushed.
At the mention of her name, a shiver went up your spine. So much had happened in the last few hours that you had almost forgotten what had been the ultimate catalyst for it all, but suddenly you were right back there with her in the elevator. Just remembering the smug smirk she had given you through the mirror as she flashed you those hickies was enough to make your insides churn.
“From the very beginning Bang PD was suspicious of my ‘relationship’ with her, not because he thought I was fake dating her to hide another relationship, but because he thought she might be blackmailing me,” Tae revealed with a shudder. “That’s obviously a serious accusation and he had no proof so he hadn’t said anything to me yet, but he’s been keeping an eye out for any signs that she was coercing me into being with her.”
“He had a meeting with her recently to discuss her contract renewal and the topic of our ‘relationship’ came up,” he went on. “She apparently made it seem like we were going to be together for a while, but did so in a way that felt strange and forced, like she knew for a fact that I wouldn’t be breaking up with her anytime soon. He said he just got a bad feeling from the conversation and that it reinforced his worry that something was wrong.”
“He was actually going to ask to meet with me next week to talk about it, but then everything happened tonight. When we met in his office, I told him the whole story about the fake dating cover, including that I was planning to propose and how she manipulated the situation and tried to break us up. He’s now more worried than ever that she might try something,” he then said nervously.
“Tae, what exactly do you mean by ‘try something’?” you questioned, fear evident in your shaky voice.
“He thinks that if I confront her and try to end the fake dating agreement, she’ll threaten to reveal our relationship to the public,” he admitted, looking and sounding deeply concerned.
“Which is why he called in one of the Big Hit lawyers so we could talk through our options and make a plan,” he then quickly explained. “They want me to meet with her and secretly record it so we can go to the police with hard evidence if she tries to threaten or blackmail me.”
Up until now, you hadn’t really even thought about what you and Tae were going to do with regard to Jisoo. You were so focused on the future of your own relationship that it hadn’t occurred to you that he needed to end the fake one he was in with her. As much as you wanted to believe that Bang PD and the lawyer were overreacting, that they were taking such measures out of an abundance of caution, you knew in your heart that their concerns were completely justified.
She had already done unspeakably terrible things and proven she was a cruel, sadist person who only cared about herself and couldn’t be trusted. The idea that she was going to let things between her and Tae end in a quiet, amicable manner was simply absurd. A wave of anxiety crashed over you upon realizing how much more pain she could cause you two with all the information she had about your relationship. She knew so much, enough to ruin Tae’s image and possibly even his entire career, enough to jeopardize not only your privacy and safety, but that of the other members and their partners
“Jagi, it’s going to be OK,” he assured you, noting your fearful expression. “We have help now. We don’t have to do this alone. For all we know she might not even try anything, but if she does Big Hit will protect us.”
“Before I meet with her, though, I need to know everything. What she said and when she said it. How she threatened you. How she was able to do this to us,” he then added, his tone somber.
“Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?” he asked gently as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I promise I’m not going to be mad and that we’re still going to be OK after you do.”
With a heavy heart, you nodded and then started recounting everything that had led you to this fateful moment. You admitted that the night she suggested they ‘up their game’ was when you began questioning her motives. You also confessed that was when you first wondered if he secretly enjoyed spending time with her. You explained how she then started taunting you the following Friday afternoon and how you initially just clapped back saying you didn’t care about them ‘playing pretend’. You told him about her insinuation that they had done something inappropriate in her recording studio and how you noted his cagey behavior when you asked him about it later that night.
One of the hardest things to tell him about was your elaborate plan to rub your relationship in her face. You confessed to purposefully getting him all worked up with the lingerie, sexting, and bondage last Sunday and by wearing his clothes, promising to do the photoshoot, and teasing him during the fitting the next day. You admitted that you’d made it obvious to her that you’d not only had sex the night before, but that the two of you were going home during lunch to have sex again. You told him about her chilling response of ‘He’s lying to you’ and how you saw the message from ‘J’ shortly after, but how seeing Jimin’s text convinced you everything was OK.
You told him about all the revelations you’d had this past week and how you planned to tell him everything last night, but that him coming home and acting so strange instantly set you back on edge. You explained how everything had continued to unravel throughout the day as you realized he was lying to you and avoiding you. And, finally, you recounted the awful encounter with her in the elevator which had proven to be your breaking point.
“I know I asked you to tell me, and I’m glad that you did, but it was still really hard to hear all that, '' he said quietly after you finished, the hurt deeply etched onto his face.
You could tell from the way he was nervously biting his lower lip that there was more he wanted to say, but that he was struggling to say it. After trying and failing several times to get the words out, he ultimately just closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against yours.
“You can tell me, Tae,” you gently encouraged him, despite how scared you were to hear the words that were causing him such angst. “Whatever it is, I-I want you to tell me.”
It took him another full minute to gather the courage to speak and when he did his voice was filled with such sadness that your eyes instantly filled with tears.
“I waited for you, Jagi,” he finally said. “I waited for you and then I gave myself to you because I love you with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Knowing that you allowed yourself to believe I was cheating on you makes me feel like you don’t respect that commitment that I made to you,” he then confessed.
“You know how meaningful intimacy is to me,” he went on after a few moments of heartbreaking silence. “It’s a way for me to be close to you and take care of you and show you how much I love you. Whether we’re just kissing or we're making love, it’s always special to me. It’s always something I cherish and never take for granted.”
“I know how awful Jisoo made you feel, and I know how guilty she made me look, but it still just hurts so much that you thought I could ever share that experience with someone else,” he admitted before his voice gave out and the quietest of cries left his lips.
His words cut you to the bone and rendered you absolutely speechless. You knew you had hurt him with your accusation, but the true depth of his sorrow was almost too unbearable to behold. As tears began silently streaming down your face, cold tendrils of self loathing slowly wrapped themselves around your mind. You did this. You caused this pain to the person you loved most in the whole world.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” you went on sadly, knowing your words would never be enough to convey all that you felt. “I’m sorry I believed her and didn’t trust you. I’m sorry I manipulated you to get back at her. I’m sorry I accused you of cheating. I’m sorry I messed up your proposal surprise. I’m sorry I got you in trouble with Big Hit.”
“I’m sorry I ruined everything,” you finally sobbed.
“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin anything,” he said as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek. “I’m upset about what happened because we both got hurt, but I’m not angry at you and I certainly don’t blame you.”
“This was my fault,” he went on, sounding so unbelievably guilty. “I didn’t take care of you. I didn’t keep you safe.”
“I-I let this happen. I let her hurt you, hurt us,” he added as his voice broke.
“I never should have trusted her and put you through this in the first place,” he said regretfully, his own tears falling freely now. “She hurt us over the summer, almost ruined our relationship before it even started, and I still let her back into our lives. You told me that first night that you were afraid to trust her and tried to tell me again two weeks ago, but I didn’t listen.”
“I promised I wouldn’t let her hurt you, but I broke that promise,” he confessed quietly as he rubbed away your tears with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he then whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Baby, you don’t need to apologize,” you replied guiltily, bringing your own hand up to cradle his face. “I’m the problem. You said I was strong, but I’m not. I’m broken.”
“Please don’t say that, sweetheart,” he pleaded as he took your hand in his and kissed your fingertips. “You’re not broken.”
“You were scared and overwhelmed because I put you in an awful situation,” he admitted, his voice thick with shame. “It was thoughtless of me to be keeping secrets and sneaking around while we were in the middle of this mess with Jisoo. Even if she wasn’t manipulating everything I said and did, I should have realized how hurtful it would be for me to act that way and how it might have looked.”
“But, I should have just talked to you,” you replied with a frustrated whimper, more tears now spilling out. “I should have been honest about how I was feeling all along and I should have told you when she began taunting me and I started having doubts.”
As you said those words, you collapsed back into his embrace, your head coming down to rest on his chest just over his heart. For several minutes he didn’t respond, he just held you close while he gently ran his fingers through your hair, periodically pressing little kisses to your forehead.
“Why didn’t you?” he finally asked with such sorrow in his voice that it made your heart ache. “Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you so much?”
It was the million dollar question. One you knew he would ask. One you had asked yourself countless times already over the last few hours. The most obvious answer was rather simple: you were insecure and terrible at communicating your feelings. However, as you thought back to what transpired on the roof, recalled the way Manager Sejin, and even Bang PD to some extent, had reacted to the situation, something finally dawned on you. Although you absolutely were insecure and terrible at communicating, you realized that there was another, far more complicated and rather heartbreaking reason for why you had been holding back all this time.
“Jagi, I can’t read your mind,” he then said sadly, like it was a personal failure that he did not possess this ability. “If we’re going to get married and you’re going to be my wife, you need to be able to tell me things, even things you think will be hard for me to hear.”
You knew he was right and decided it was time to tell him the full truth, even though you knew it was going to absolutely crush him. After spending several minutes in silence, nervously tracing patterns on his chest with your finger, you took a deep breath and then finally spoke.
“I don’t feel equal to you,” you confessed quietly.
“You’re Kim Taehyung, world-famous K-pop idol who is adored and respected by millions and who has all this wealth and influence and power, but I’m just... me,” you went on. “I’m just a lowly stylist that no one knows or cares about who is still paying off college loans and will never be anyone special or do anything significant.”
“You’re so successful and incredible and so many people would kill to be in my shoes that sometimes I feel like I should just be happy and grateful to be with you at all, even if it’s in a way that hurts me,” you admitted.
“And, being forced to hide and lie and keep everything a secret hurt me,” you then added, clutching his shirt tightly as fresh tears pricked at your eyes.
You took a few moments to collect yourself, taking several deep, steadying breaths. He gave you all the time you needed, affectionately rubbing your arm while he patiently waited for you to continue.
“When we came home from America I told you I wanted to tell the truth and leave Big Hit, but you convinced me to stay and keep lying. Then you made the decision to fake date Jisoo without talking to me first and just expected me to be OK with it,” you said next, your voice now beginning to tremble.
“I-I wasn’t OK with it, but I didn't know what to do. I felt trapped, Tae,” you said, pausing briefly to let that sink in and also gather yourself again. “You clearly thought it was a good idea and what was best for us so I just put on a brave face and tried to be strong for you. I didn’t want you to get in trouble. I didn’t want to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to be safe and happy. Even once Jisoo started saying stuff and I realized you were lying to me, I was still just so afraid to confront you because I didn't want to hurt you or make you upset.”
The words were pouring out of you now and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop them, but you didn’t want to stop them. After days and weeks and months of bottling everything up, you were suddenly desperate to let it all out.
“I didn’t tell you my feelings because they felt less important than yours,” you finally said, choking back a sob. “Because I felt less important than you.”
You hadn’t fully understood that this was how you felt until now, but the moment those words left your lips everything came into sharp focus.
“You’re the sun, Tae,” you told him, voice barely above a whisper. “You’re the sun and I am just this tiny, flickering candle.”
“Compared to you I just feel so inferior,” you then revealed as the tears began pouring out again. “Not even in terms of status or talent or wealth, but as a person. Part of it is definitely my own insecurity, but a lot of it is because that’s honestly how society views us. You are literally worth more than me - to Big Hit, to this country, to the world - and that fact has never been more painfully clear to me than tonight when Manager Sejin's first reaction to what happened was to be more concerned about your reputation than my wellbeing.”
“Up on the roof everyone was talking about me and making decisions that directly affected me, but I wasn’t even part of the conversation,” you continued dejectedly, remembering how powerless you felt at the time. “I was legitimately afraid to speak because I didn’t want to make someone upset or get you in trouble. The one time I tried to talk, I was literally told to ‘stay out of it’. I felt like my opinion and my feelings didn’t matter, so I stopped trying to share them and just stayed quiet.”  
“I know I can’t expect you to read my mind, but if we’re going to get married and you’re going to be my husband, you need to understand that because of your job and who you are I often feel like I have no voice,” you finally confessed.
Upon letting all of that out, you felt a massive weight lift off your chest, but the relief you felt was short lived when you saw the look of absolute devastation on Tae’s face. You had done exactly as he asked, told him something you knew would be hard for him to hear, and the result was just as excruciatingly painful as you feared it would be.
“Jagi, it breaks my heart that you feel this way because of me,” he said despondently, his eyes brimming with tears.
“Of course you're important and special. Of course your opinions and feelings matter,” he went on as a few drops began sliding down his cheeks.
“Y-You’re not a candle, sweetheart. You’re not even just the sun. You’re the entire universe,” he cried before he buried his face in your hair.
Every single one of his muffled sobs was like a knife in your heart and every time he said ‘I’m sorry’ the blade twisted. It killed you to know your confession had made him feel so terrible, but you kept reminding yourself that it was for the best. Keeping all that in for so long had only ended up causing more hurt to you both in the long run. The only way for things to get better was to have everything out in the open and move forward with no more secrets.
“Baby, look at me,” you said as you cupped his cheeks and lifted his head up so his gaze met yours. “You’re not the reason I feel like this. I know you don’t view me as less than you and you’ve certainly never treated me that way. Our relationship is just unique and complicated and a bit stressful sometimes. It has been challenging in ways that I wasn’t prepared for and didn’t fully understand until now, but I don’t want you to blame yourself.”
“I just need you to remember that it can be a little overwhelming and intimidating at times being with someone as famous as you,” you then said gently. “I’m going to go back to therapy so I can learn how to better deal with those feelings and also communicate them to you. I just want you to be aware that this is something I struggle with so you can help me work through it, OK?”
“OK,” he hiccupped, nodding his head in your hands. “I can do that.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said then softly, gazing into your eyes with a look of pure devotion. “I meant it this morning when I wrote that I want to be a better man for you. I promise I will be. I’m going to take care of you, Jagi. Now and always. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you or make you feel less than ever again. I’m going to make sure you always feel safe and respected and equal in our relationship.”
“Which is why I’m going to leave BTS,” he then stated without an ounce of hesitation in his voice.
For the second time that evening, time came to a screeching halt.
“What?” you breathed out, utterly shocked by that statement and convinced you had somehow heard him wrong.
“I’m going to leave BTS,” he repeated calmly, looking you in the eye as he spoke.
You stared back at him in stunned silence for several seconds, your eyes wide in disbelief upon realizing he had, in fact, said those words.
“Tae, no,” you protested. “Y-You can’t leave because of me, because I’m insecure and broken. I just need to get better. I need to be a better partner for you. And, I-I will be. I’m going to get help and work on myself so I can handle everything. You’re not the problem. BTS isn’t the problem. I’m the problem, but I promise I’m going to be better.”
“Sweetheart, you’re not broken and you’re not the problem,” he said, his tone unmistakably sad. “Please don’t say those things about yourself. It hurts me when you do.”
“I’m not leaving because of you, I’m leaving for you, for us,” he then added.
Your mind was absolutely spinning as you tried to comprehend what he was saying. Never in a million years did you think you would be having this conversation with him right now. This was not at all the outcome you were expecting or hoping for when you shared your feelings with him and you found yourself now regretting having said anything at all. You had clearly overwhelmed him by unloading all of that while he was already feeling stressed and guilty which was causing him to have these highly irrational thoughts.
“But, you’re…you’re still under contract for five more years,” you said back as the realization dawned on you. “You can’t just leave.”
“Actually, I can,” he replied, sounding almost nonchalant despite the gravity of his words. “I would have to pay a really big fine and give up my Big Hit stock, but I could afford it and it would be worth it.”
His calmness only made you all the more anxious. He was talking complete nonsense right now and didn’t even realize it.
“Tae, you’re upset right now and not thinking straight,” you said, trying desperately to reason with him. “It’s been an incredibly stressful night and you’ve been through so much. I know you feel guilty about what I said and are worried about what’s going to happen once I leave Big Hit, but you leaving too isn’t the answer.”
“Jagi, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, long before all of this happened,” he revealed, his voice soft but resolute.
“You know I almost didn’t re-sign in 2018 and that I was struggling again earlier this year,” he then reminded you gently. “Everything that’s happened over the last few months, and everything you just told me now, has only reinforced the way I was already feeling.”
Upon hearing him say those words, you stopped panicking and looked at him, really looked at him, and couldn’t help but notice just how composed and confident he seemed right now.
“How have you been feeling?” you asked quietly.
“Like I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he replied, suddenly sounding so very tired.
“I never wanted all this,” he then admitted. “I was literally going to be a farmer, which I was perfectly OK with, but then I auditioned at Big Hit essentially by accident and somehow got chosen and now here I am almost ten years later with this crazy life as a world-famous K-pop idol.”
“I don’t regret it,” he quickly added. “I love the guys and ARMY and I genuinely enjoy making music and performing. I’m grateful for our success and all the incredible opportunities I’ve been given and the fact that I can now take care of my family. And, most importantly, I’m grateful that I met you.”
The shy smile that crept onto his face as he said that last bit had your heart absolutely melting. As alarming as this conversation was, you couldn’t help but give him a bashful grin in return.
“I know things have been difficult for us at times, but the last two months have still been the happiest of my entire life. Being with you makes me feel so fulfilled and so excited and hopeful for the future. I can’t wait to marry you, my best friend and the love of my life, and raise a family together,” he confessed with such passion in his voice. “That’s what I’ve always wanted.”
“But, that’s why I need to leave,” he then said softly as his expression grew sad.
“I love BTS, but I love you more,” he admitted, gazing deeply into your eyes. “I don’t want to spend the next five years being on different schedules and hardly seeing each other, only for me to then go into the military and be away from you for another year and a half. How are we supposed to have a strong marriage and a happy family if that’s our life? How am I supposed to be a good husband and father if I’m never there?”
“I know we’ll never have a completely normal life because I’ll probably always be a public figure, but if I left BTS things would be so much easier for us,” he went on, sounding so serious and certain. “I could start acting. I’ve already gotten so many offers to be on shows and in movies. I could start working at a studio right here in Seoul. That way I wouldn’t have to travel all the time and be away from you. We could start our family right away and raise our children together as equal parents instead of you bearing so much more of the burden. I’d be there to support you and make sure you could continue pursuing your own career goals. We’d have more time to visit our parents and go on trips and do things together as a family.”
“It would be so much easier,” he repeated earnestly. “We could be so much happier.”
As terrified as you were hearing him talk like this and knowing the chaos that would ensue if he actually were to leave BTS, you could not deny how tempting all of that sounded. A life where you could actually be together the majority of the time would be so wonderful. One where there was stability and consistency, where he wouldn’t have to regularly leave for days and weeks and months on end. You believed with all your heart that Tae would be a great husband and father even if he stayed with BTS, but you knew he was right when he said things would be easier if he left.
And yet, you knew you needed to be the rational one right now. Although you believed him when he said he had been thinking about this for a while and that this wasn’t just a knee-jerk reaction, you knew that what had happened tonight and what you’d been through over the last few months was coloring his perspective. Keeping your relationship a secret had been a complicated and stressful situation, but it wasn’t indicative of what life was going to be like for you two going forward. Being apart so much would make things harder, especially once you started having kids, but not having to hide anymore would also make things easier. You were certain you two could make it work and that everything would be OK. You just needed to help Tae calm down long enough to realize this too.
“Tae, it means more to me than I can put into words that you would be willing to make a sacrifice like that for us,” you said as you leaned in and gave him a short, sweet kiss. “I can tell you have given this a lot of thought, and I admit you do make a lot of great points, but I don’t think now is the right time to make this kind of decision.”
“First things first, we need to get through everything with Jisoo. Then at some point I obviously need to meet with Bang PD and Big Hit HR. Hopefully they’ll just let me resign and not actually fire me. I think Mrs. Choi might still be willing to be a reference for me so that will help immensely in my search for a new job,” you continued.
“Can we please just wait before we make any big decisions?” you asked gently, giving him an encouraging smile. “I don’t want you to do something now that you’ll later regret. There’s no reason to rush. Let’s take our time and adjust to our new situation and see how things go.”
For several moments he didn’t respond, he just stared at you with an intent, slightly skeptical look as if searching for any hint of reluctance on your face. You just gazed back at him pleadingly, silently begging him to trust that this was truly how you felt, until eventually his features softened.
“Ok,” he finally conceded with a sigh. “We can wait and see.”
“But, if it’s not working, if we’re not happy and we feel like we’re drifting apart or you don’t feel supported and I feel like I’m missing out on things, I won’t hesitate to leave,” he then added sincerely. “You are the most precious thing in the world to me, sweetheart. I can always find another job, but I can never find another you.”
Grateful that he seemed to have backed away from the metaphorical edge, you were just about to breathe a small sigh of relief when the door to your room suddenly opened. You tensed up immediately because Tae didn’t have his mask or glasses on, but relaxed once you realized it was only Mrs. Choi.
“Sorry to disturb you, but Manager Sejin says there is a call for you, Taehyung,” she said softly as she tentatively poked her head into the room. “I believe it is Bang PD.”
“Shoot, I need to take this,” Tae said to you regretfully as he disentangled himself and stood up from the bed.
“I’ll be back soon, Jagi,” he then said before leaning down and kissing your forehead.
“Ok,” you said back with a shy smile.
He disguised himself once more and then walked out of the room, giving Mrs. Choi a quick nod as he passed by her. After he was gone, she lingered by the door for a few moments, seemingly wrestling with herself over something. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she finally spoke.
“You two make a lovely couple,” she said tenderly.
“Thank you,” you replied back, your voice catching a bit as you got ever-so-slightly choked up.
“For everything,” you then added after a moment.
“You’re welcome, dear,” she said back, giving you a genuine smile before excusing herself.
Once the door was closed, you laid back down, plopped your head onto the pillow, and gazed up at the ceiling in bewilderment. Of all the surprises tonight had brought, including your secret being revealed and Tae confessing he was both planning to propose and seriously considering leaving BTS, Mrs. Choi being supportive of your relationship might just be the most earth shattering. It was strange, but her approval actually meant a great deal to you. Over the last three years, she had probably spent more time together with you and Tae than anyone else. Her belief that you made a good couple was quite comforting and gave you so much confidence that everything would be OK.
And right now, after everything that you’d both been through and were still facing, you needed all the assurance you could get that you and Tae were going to be OK.
Five minutes later the door to your room opened again. You assumed it was Tae, back from his call with bang PD, but it was actually your doctor. As she walked in she was sporting another warm smile, but something about her was noticeably off.
“Y/N, how are you feeling?” she asked.
“I feel fine,” you answered honestly. “Not dizzy or nauseous or anything like that.”
“Good, good,” she replied easily as she made a few notes in your chart.
“So, your ECG results came back normal, but we’re going to keep you here a little longer for observation since you are a high-risk patient,” she then informed you.
“High-risk?” you questioned nervously, giving her a confused look. “What classifies me as high-risk?”
An apprehensive, slightly sheepish look flashed across her face before she uttered the absolute last words you were expecting to hear.
“That fact that you’re pregnant.”
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blackswan18 · 3 years
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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 50 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 4.0k
warnings: none
A/N: Sorry for the delay on this one! It was my husband’s 30th birthday last week and I was a little swamped getting ready to have family over to celebrate :)
Chapter 50: I Promise
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“Y/N. Can you hear me? Sweetheart, please wake up. Please come back to me…”
The words were faint at first, softer than a whisper, but they grew louder and louder until eventually you heard them clear as day and recognized the voice that was speaking. It was his voice, your favorite voice in the whole world, the one that whispered the sweetest nothings, sang the most beautiful songs, and spoke the most loving words.
“Tae?” you mumbled out, curling your fingers around the hand you hoped was his.
“She’s finally awake...yes, I will…OK, thank you,” you heard him quickly say to someone.
“I’m here, Jagi,” he then said tenderly as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m here.”
Slowly opening your eyes, you found him kneeling over you, worry written all over his tear-stained face. When you glanced over his shoulder and saw the night sky, you realized you were laying on the ground. The next thing you noticed was that your feet were propped up underneath your bag and his jacket was draped over you. Confusion settled in as you tried to remember how you ended up in this position but couldn’t come up with any sort of explanation.
“Sweetheart, you fainted,” he told you, reading your bewildered expression. “You were unconscious for over a minute.”
“I kept calling your name, but you wouldn’t wake up,” he went on, looking at you with wide, terrified eyes.
“I-I’ve never been more scared in my entire life,” he then added, his voice breaking as he leaned down and kissed your forehead.
He kept his lips there for several seconds and when he pulled back to look at you his eyes were glistening. His grip on your hand tightened a bit as he looked away momentarily, taking a deep breath as if to collect himself. Even in your hazy state you could tell that he was shaken by what had happened and trying to be strong for you. The fear and helplessness he must have felt was something you could fully empathize with; you had watched him collapse backstage once after a particularly grueling string of performances and had nearly had a heart attack because you were so worried. Wanting to comfort him with a hug, you began trying to sit up, but he immediately stopped you.
“Don’t get up, Jagi,” he said, his voice laden with concern as he urged your shoulders back down. “It’s not safe yet.”
“You need to keep laying down,” he continued more softly as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you get up now you could get dizzy again.”
“I called 911 and they sent an ambulance,” he then told you hesitantly. “I just want you to rest until they get here, OK?”
“A-Ambulance?” you questioned nervously, a wave of anxiety coursing through you upon realizing where an ambulance would take you. “No, no, no.”
“I-I don’t want to go to the emergency room,” you said, panic rising in your voice as you shook your head and withdrew from him. “Call them back and tell them not to come.”
It was no secret to Tae that you were afraid of hospitals. After practically living in one all those months when your mom was sick and slowly fading away, you had developed a serious aversion to them. You were OK going to regular doctor’s appointments at outpatient clinics, but going to the hospital itself was a whole different story. Just seeing one on television or in a movie always brought you right back to those dark days, ones where all you ever got was bad news and all you ever felt was hopelessness. The idea of stepping foot in one had you filled with absolute dread, especially if you were going to be the patient.
“Jagi, you were unconscious for a long time,” he said worriedly as he caressed your hand to try and soothe your nerves. “You have to be seen by a doctor to make sure you’re OK.”
In the back of your mind you knew he was right. Usually when someone fainted they woke up after only a few seconds. Being out for more than a minute was definitely a red flag, one that didn’t necessarily mean anything was seriously wrong, but which indicated medical attention was recommended. Still, the idea of going to the emergency room, and being taken in an ambulance, no less, was absolutely terrifying.
What was most frightening, though, was the idea of being taken in an ambulance from Big Hit, the place around which all your lies and secrets revolved. Ambulances weren’t discreet. They didn’t arrive quietly and sneakily whisk you away. They showed up with loud sirens and flashing lights. They made a scene, one which everyone in the building, and anyone outside the building, for that matter, would be drawn to.
“B-But if an ambulance comes here p-people will see and then they’ll ask q-questions about us and why we’re up here together and why I fainted and…,” you stammered out before an awful realization suddenly hit you and your voice trailed off.
Your fight with Tae is why you fainted
Memories from before you fainted came flooding back to you like a torrential acid rain, seeping into every crevice of your mind and scorching your every thought. All the terrible things you said when you accused him of cheating. How completely devastated he looked afterwards. The truth about his grandmother's ring and his plan to propose. Jisoo’s betrayal and how you walked right into her trap. It was all such a mess, one you now couldn’t help but feel responsible for. Once again you had let your insecurities get the best of you, but this time you feared the damage you’d caused was simply beyond repair.
“Oh god, our fight,” you whispered as the guilt welled up inside you and your eyes filled with tears.
Reliving this awful moment, the one where you realized you made the biggest mistake of your life, was the cruelest form of torture. You felt like you had woken up from a bad dream only to discover that reality itself was the true nightmare. It made complete sense now why your body had simply given out when you finally learned the truth; the weight of this revelation was absolutely crushing. As the tears started pouring out, you felt your chest tightening and your throat closing. You were on the verge of losing it entirely when Tae reached out to you.
“Sweetheart, please don’t cry,” he pleaded, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to be alright. I promise we’ll talk about everything and figure it all out soon, but right now I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?”
Closing your eyes and focusing on just the feel of his warm hands cradling your face, you felt yourself slowly coming back from the edge.
“The only thing that matters right now is that you’re OK,”  he then said softly as he brushed away your tears with his thumbs.
“I know you’re nervous about the ambulance coming here and taking you to the hospital, but I’m going to be with you the whole time,” he assured you. “No matter what happens.”
“Y-You promise?” you asked between shuddered breaths.
“I promise,” he replied earnestly.
“Now let’s just rest until they get here, OK?” he then said as he laid down on his side next to you. “Can you come lay down with me?”
“OK,” you hiccupped.
You laid your head back down and closed your eyes. The ground was hard and cold, rather uncomfortable, but you tried your best to relax, taking slow, deep breaths of the crisp night air. While you were laying there, Tae began gently running his fingers through your hair and softly singing ‘Sweet Night’, two things he often did when you were feeling overwhelmed. In his touch and the sound of his voice you found comfort and by the time he finished the song you had finally started to calm down. For the first time since you woke up in a terrified daze, you felt like everything was going to be OK, but then the elevator suddenly opened up behind you.
In the blink of an eye, the safe, peaceful atmosphere Tae had created for you was shattered as the roof filled with people: two paramedics, Bang PD, Manager Sejin, Mrs. Choi, and a couple other administrative staff members. Tae pulled his hands away from you the moment he heard the doors open and scrambled to button up his shirt while getting to his feet, but it was clear from everyone’s curious expressions that they had seen him in that compromising position beside you.
The next thing you knew, you were being hoisted up onto a gurney. The jarring movement brought another wave of lightheadedness as well as some nausea and for a few moments you just laid there, eyes tightly screwed shut as you tried to get it together. The fact that everyone then started talking all at once only made things worse, but the paramedics quickly quieted everyone and began tending to you.
As they took your vitals, they asked you a flurry of questions about what happened, how you were feeling, your medical history, and so much more. It was incredibly overwhelming and you were grateful Tae was there helping you answer their questions since your memory was still fuzzy. It briefly registered with you that he probably shouldn’t be revealing that he knew things like the medications you took, but everything was happening so fast that you didn’t have time to warn him.
“Can you please explain to me again what happened,” one of the paramedics asked, directing the question to Tae.
“Y/N was sitting up here for a long time because she was upset about something. I don’t know how long, but I think at least a couple hours which means she didn’t have dinner. I went looking for her and when I found her we had an argument and she got really upset and afterwards she fainted,” he explained nervously.
“I caught her before she fell, laid her down and elevated her feet like you’re supposed to, and then called 911. They had me check her pulse and breathing which seemed normal, but when she still wasn’t awake after a minute they sent the ambulance. She finally woke up soon after that, but she was really confused at first and didn’t remember what happened,” he continued.
“Was this argument physical in any way?” the paramedic then asked, now looking at you.
His insinuation that Tae might have purposefully done something to hurt you made your insides churn. It simply couldn’t be further from the truth. He had spent all night looking out for you and taking care of you.
“No, of course not,” you said immediately.
“Tae would never hurt me,” you then added, your voice catching as tears pricked at your eyes.
Instinctively, Tae reached down and took your hand, carefully interlacing his fingers with yours. You knew he shouldn’t have done it with all these people around, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. In that moment, it was infinitely more important that he knew you trusted him wholeheartedly and didn’t blame him for what happened.
The whole time you were talking with the paramedics, Bang PD and Manager Sejin were anxiously waiting in the background, talking heatedly amongst themselves. You saw Bang PD receive several phone calls and each one seemed to make him more flustered than the last. The moment they heard the paramedic ask if the argument was physical, though, they rushed over.
“I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t mean to make you upset,” the paramedic then said gently. “We just have to ask in a situation like this.”
“It sounds like it was a simple faint triggered by a combination of low blood sugar and emotional distress,” he went on after a few moments. “You’re probably fine, but since you were unconscious for so long we need to take you to the hospital to rule out anything more serious.”
“O-OK,” you replied weakly.
“We’ll be leaving soon. I just need to speak with my partner first,” the paramedic then said before he turned and walked away.
You knew a trip to the emergency room was likely unavoidable, but having it confirmed still sent a wave of panic washing over you. Were it not for Tae gently rubbing your thumb with his to remind you that you weren’t alone and it was going to be alright, you might have started hyperventilating again. Looking up at him, you were met with the sight of an encouraging smile, but the comfort it brought you was unfortunately short-lived.
“Taehyung, what were you thinking?” Manager Sejin demanded the moment the paramedic was out of earshot.
“You had an altercation with a female staff member that has resulted in her needing to be hospitalized. Your 911 call was surely recorded and could get leaked. These paramedics have also seen you and know everything. A crowd has already gathered outside the building because of the ambulance. The press won’t stop calling and asking what’s happened and who’s hurt,” he added angrily. “Do you have any idea how all of this looks?”
Manager Sejin was usually very kind and soft-spoken so seeing him so upset was rather alarming. The last time you had seen him like this was the evening of The Late Late Show interview when Tae had slipped up and said ‘Jagi’ on live television. It had devastated Tae to know that someone he looked up to and respected so much had been so disappointed in him and one glance at his crestfallen expression told you he was once again feeling that shame.
“Tae didn’t do anything wrong,” you interjected hesitantly, trying to smooth things over. “It was an accident and he was only trying to help.”
“Y/N, please just stay out of this,” Manager Sejin replied curtly. “You’ve done enough already.”
Upon hearing those sharp words, you stiffened. You knew having an ambulance come here was going to create drama, but you were definitely not expecting this level of hostility. All at once, your hope that everything was going to be alright began to crumble.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Tae said back, his words coming out surprisingly harsh, especially given he was talking to one of his elders. “None of this was her fault.”
By now Mrs. Choi had made her way over to the group. Standing beside the gurney you were laying on, she placed her hand on your shoulder in a way that felt somewhat protective.
“If she wasn’t up here in the first place none of this would have happened,” Manager Sejin argued as he peered down at you disdainfully.
“But, you should have contacted one of us before you called 911,” he then continued, looking back at Tae. “That way we could have handled this situation discreetly.”
“Please tell me you are not suggesting that the reputation of BTS is more important than the health of one of your employees,” Mrs. Choi suddenly said, her tone icy as she glared at the older man.
“Enough,” Bang PD hissed before anyone could say anything further. “We’re not having this conversation here.”
“Taehyung, go downstairs and wait for us in my office,” he then added sternly. “Once the ambulance leaves we can discuss what to say to the press and how to minimize your involvement in this situation.”
“No,” Tae immediately said. “I’m going to the hospital with Y/N.”
“Absolutely not,” Bang PD replied, his tone severe and unyielding. “This is already enough of a fiasco. If you go to the hospital someone will surely recognize you. It would be a PR nightmare, not to mention a huge security threat.”
“I’ll wear a mask and a hat and sunglasses,” Tae quickly offered. “I promise I’ll keep a low profile.”
“Taehyung,” the older man protested, clearly growing frustrated.
“Tae, it’s OK,” you murmured.
“No, it’s not OK,” he said quietly, looking down at you with a worried expression. “You’re hurt and it’s my fault and I have to be there to take care of you.”
Your heart simultaneously swelled and dropped at his words. The truth was you did want him there, needed him there, honestly, but the situation was quickly getting out of hand. The more he pushed to come with you, the worse everything would get. You gazed back at him with wide, searching eyes, silently begging him to back down, but he didn’t.
“I’m not letting her go to the hospital by herself,” Tae then said more forcefully as he turned back towards the group. “Being there makes her anxious because of everything that happened with her mom.”
“She won’t be by herself,” Mrs. Choi said, giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “I’ll ride with her to the hospital.”
As much as you wanted Tae to be the one coming with you, you found yourself feeling genuinely comforted by the thought of Mrs. Choi accompanying you. That day you met with her in her office you had actually told her more than you initially intended to about your mom, more than you had even told many of your close friends. It had felt surprisingly natural to open up to her like that. She didn’t know everything that you went through, but she knew enough to understand that your apprehension about going to the hospital was very real.
“See? She won’t be alone,” Bang PD placated, jumping at the opportunity to hopefully end this once and for all. “And, I’m sure Mrs. Choi will keep you updated on how she’s doing.”
“You don’t understand,” Tae said, running his hair through his hair in frustration. “I have to be there. I promised I would be there.”
“Tae,” you breathed out as you tightly gripped his hand.
He had already been acting dangerously affectionate and protective, but right now he was being entirely too obvious. Any second now someone was going to start putting two and two together and you would both be screwed. Although you were planning to leave Big Hit soon and reveal your relationship, these were not the circumstances under which you envisioned doing so.
Honestly, you were going to suggest to Tae that the two of you wait until a couple months after you resigned to announce you had started dating. Sure, people might make assumptions that you had gotten together before you left, but at least then it would be too late for either of you to be disciplined. By that time you would also be settled into a new job and wouldn’t have to worry about a black mark on your record hindering your career.
“Taehyung, please be reasonable,” Bang PD implored, his patience beginning to grow thin. “It is not practical for you to go with her, nor is it appropriate. They’ll be running all sorts of tests and she’ll need privacy.”
“We’ll call her emergency contact and have them meet her there,” Manager Sejin then added, his tone ever so slightly biting. “They can take care of her.”
The undertone of hostility in those remarks did not go unnoticed by Tae and ultimately proved to be his undoing.
“Her emergency contact is me,” Tae shot back furiously, his composure finally snapping. “I’m the one who is supposed to take care of her and make sure she’s safe and healthy and happy.”
“I already failed her once,” he then admitted, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. “I let her get hurt. I let this happen. I-I have to make it right now.”
“I have to go with her to the hospital,” he declared. “I have to hold her hand when they draw her blood because she doesn't like needles. I have to help her explain her family medical history because it’s hard for her to talk about her mom without getting really upset. I’ll have to force her to eat the hospital food because she needs to regain her strength, but she’s such a picky eater. I’ll have to ask the nurse for an extra blanket because she’ll definitely get cold, but will be too shy to tell anyone. I’ll have to call her sister and tell her what happened because Y/N never wants anyone to worry and always tries to take care of herself without asking for help. I have to be there for her and make sure she’s OK because I would never forgive myself if anything ever happened to her.”
“So either you let me ride in that ambulance or I drive myself to the hospital, because I’m not breaking my promise to be there with her,” he then all but shouted.
For a few moments no one spoke as the weight of Tae’s outburst slowly sunk in. He might not have outright said it, but he had clearly said more than enough for them to put the pieces together. With bated breath, you watched as everyone’s eyes flickered back and forth between you and Tae and then down at your joined hands. Slowly but surely, you saw the realization dawn on each one of them.
“You’re not dating Jisoo,” Bang PD simply stated after what felt like an eternity.
“You’re pretending to date her,” he went on, his voice surprisingly even, “to hide your relationship with Y/N.”
Tae didn’t respond, but the guilty expression he wore was more than enough to let Bang PD and everyone else know that his assertions were correct. The two administrative staff members who had been listening in on the conversation let out audible gasps. Manager Sejin muttered something under his breath as he shook his head in disbelief. Mrs. Choi said nothing, but you felt her grip on your shoulder tighten ever-so-slightly. Bang PD just stared at Tae, an unreadable expression spread across his face. He didn’t look angry nor did he look all that surprised. Honestly, it was almost as if he looked a little relieved.
You laid there in stunned silence, still barely breathing as you clutched Tae’s hand like it was the only thing keeping you from floating away. After a few moments, when the initial shock finally began to wear off, you found a strange sense of calm settling over you. The truth was finally out. There would be consequences for sure, and you would obviously have to deal with them at some point, but right now the emotion you felt most strongly was relief: the crushing weight of all those secrets had finally been lifted. And, of all the ways for your big secret to ultimately be revealed, you supposed having Tae give an adorably flustered speech about all the ways he would take care of you was a pretty good one.
“You’re not going in the ambulance and you’re not driving yourself,” Bang PD finally said to break the silence.
“You will be taken by a company driver and will also be accompanied by Manager Sejin,” he then added after a moment of suspense.
“You will be dropped off at the back entrance of the hospital and then discreetly escorted to the private and secluded examination room Miss Y/L/N will be residing in,” he went on authoritatively, now speaking to the paramedic who had rejoined the group at some point amidst the chaos.
“Absolutely sir,” the paramedic replied. “I will call the hospital now and make arrangements.”
“Taehyung, if you would please now go to my office it would be greatly appreciated,” Bang PD then said calmly. “There are some things I’d like to discuss with you before you leave.”
“Yes sir,” Tae said respectfully, his expression of absolute astonishment mirroring your own.
Just before he turned to leave, he bent down, placed the tiniest kiss on your cheek, and then whispered in your ear, “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”
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