bianca24t

[bianca24t]

Life update: still stuck between a rock and a hard place!

About to graduate but unsure where to go or what to do!!! I still want to save lives 🩺

[bianca24t]

[bianca24t]

Literally that’s all we can do!

[bianca24t]

[bianca24t]

Hi Guyssss! Currently on a winter holiday break! Need some suggestions on gooddd anime, kdrama, tv shows, etc. to bingee on!!

Help… PLS!!!

[bianca24t]

Blog #3- Blank

There once was a girl, scared of the world. Frightened of responsibility, terrified of commitment, uneasy of predictability. The girl cried and longed for her brain to tell her what to do and how to do it and for her heart to tell her what, who and how to love... The girl sighed, defeated, tired. "How to save myself," she thought.

The girl fell into an abyss. No happiness, no laughter, no joy. But she kept going not knowing what else could be done.

The abyss took her to places unknown, with people unknown. A machine she felt.

Then one day, a small bright light sparkled in the distance. Hope. A sliver of sunshine. A glimpse of possibility. "A way out," she thought.

She moved closer, nearing the ball of light. But ever time she moved the light seemed further and further away from her. She looked around in the abyss. A sign, a building.. a place familiar. She continued forward. Something inside her felt different, the uneasiness seemed to ease. She looked up.. people, faces familiar. She continued forward.

The ball of light grew, now towering over the girl. She was finally able to see. Everything around her glistened, in full color. Vibrancy of greens, blues, yellows.. Songs were heard, laughters were shared, people were talking. No longer in the abyss she felt hopeful.

Inside her something changed. Happiness, laughter, eagerness. Joy. She didn't recognize herself. But loved her new self. She was not frightened but determined for responsibility. Hopeful for commitment, and seeked adventure. She was magnificent.

#creative wrting #emotions #friday feels #writing #lifeisgood #i hope this makes sense #i love this

[bianca24t]

“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being excited about what could go right.”

— Unknown

[bianca24t]

oh god, this is going to be so personal but one of the reasons about creating this blog is to open myself up, without censoring things. anyways, i wrote this on 12th of August, 2020 and i have no idea if anyone feels like this too, even though this writing belongs to a year before my feelings did not change at all.

I feel like I’m drowning. It has been over five months since quarantine starts, most of the time I’m at home doing home related things. I had plans; I was going to be a volunteer, I was continuing to work at the library and save money for Erasmus, and of course... I was supposed to go to Erasmus this September. My college shot down by the government, I don’t have a “safety” lab experience plan anymore. I emailed a lot of labs for this summer. They didn’t return...

I’m looking for a job during these days, I feel like I’m drowning, I don’t enjoy my time anymore, I feel depressed, I feel like I cannot be happy again. I still have huge dreams for my future but... who knows huh? I feel powerless, I have this sense of paralysis, I don’t think I can go back to college because of the COVID-19. I hate distance education, I hate it. It does not teach at all.

Future me, are you there? Reading this? Tell me everything is going to be all right. I need to hear this. I’m losing hope for my future, not just my future, I’m losing hope for the future. I had so much plans and dreams when I started to college. I was happy, hopeful, surrounded with people that I love and enjoy, I was free. Free. I miss this feeling.

I’m trying to do something, I’m trying to be productive, but I know the feeling of being productive, I do not have this feeling for almost 5 months. Seeing my planner empty drives me crazy. I feel useless although I’m a volunteer editor of an e-journal and a volunteer podcaster. It feels like not enough, I want to go to the labs and be an observer, making experiments on human beings and do statistics. God, I miss college.

Future me, I hope you are not living in *****(my country), are you? Economics is going down in here, little enjoyments like getting your favorite tea or coffee, or your favorite noodle, are so expensive. I’m trying to save my money, but it is not easy at all.

p.s: photos are not belong to me, i got them from pinterest.

[bianca24t]

“And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien

[bianca24t]

“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.”

— Brian Andreas, Story People (via thelovejournals)

[bianca24t]

via weheartit

[bianca24t]

I may have lost someone who didn’t love me, but you lost someone who truly loves you.

Unknown (via thoughtkick)

[bianca24t]

[bianca24t]

[bianca24t]

Books: transports a single cushioned sofa tucked in the corner of the room into glorious castles, lovely flower fields, train chases, and outerspace. Can take us down rabbit holes, make us fall in love with a marquesses, frighten us in the swiss alps, and make us breath summer air, all under the afternoon sunlight cushioned onto one spot holding the crisp pages of adventure.

[bianca24t]

[bianca24t]

source