beingthelightinthedarkness - Tumblr blog

beingthelightinthedarkness · 1 year

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To Hope...

To Hope…

I have become a pessimist. Growing up, I believed in impossible things. I believed in miracles. I believed things would eventually work themselves out. Now, however, I always find myself thinking of the worst possible scenarios, some not even possible. This flip has been somewhat gradual over the past decade or so, driven by the multitude of challenges faced over the years and my bodies own…

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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“I, Too” by Langston Hughes

I, too, sing America. I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the kitchen When company comes, But I laugh, And eat well, And grow strong. Tomorrow, I’ll be at the table When company comes. Nobody’ll dare Say to me, “Eat in the kitchen,” Then. Besides, They’ll see how beautiful I am And be ashamed— I, too, am America.

Image: Therese Patricia Okoumou scaling the Statue of Liberty on July 4th to protest America’s deportation and incarceration of children

https://patch.com/new-york/new-york-city/woman-scales-statue-liberty-helicopters-circling-police

Poem: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47558/i-too

#poems

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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Black History Month: "Stop-And-Frisk" by Claudia Rankine

I knew whatever was infront of me was happening and then the police vehicles came to a screechinghalt in front of me like they were setting up a blockade. Everywhere were flashes, a siren sounding and a stretched-out roar. Get on the ground. Get on the ground now. Then I just knew.

And you are not the guy and still you fit the description because there is only one guy who is always the guy fitting the description.

I left my client’s house knowing I would be pulled over. I knew. I just knew. I opened my briefcase on the passenger seat, just so they could see. Yes officer rolled around on my tongue, which grew out of a bell that could never ring because its emergency was a tolling I was meant to swallow.

In a landscape drawn from an ocean bed, you can’t drive yourself sane–so angry you are crying. You can’t drive yourself sane. This motion wears a guy out. Our motion is wearing you out and still you are not that guy.

Then flashes, a siren, a stretched-out roar–and you are not the guy and still you fit the description because there is only one guy who is always the guy fitting the description.

Get on the ground. Get on the ground now. I must have been speeding. No, you weren’t speeding. I wasn’t speeding? You didn’t do anything wrong. Then why are you pulling me over? Why am I pulled over? Put your hands where they can be seen. Put your hands in the air. Put your hands up.

Then you are stretched out on the hood. Then cuffed. Get on the ground now.

Each time it begins in the same way, it doesn’t begin the same way, each time it begins it’s the same. Flashes, a siren, the stretched-out roar–

Maybe because home was a hood the officer could not afford, not that a reason was needed, I was pulled out of my vehicle a block from my door, handcuffed and pushed into the police vehicle’s back seat, the officer’s knee pressing into my collarbone, the officer’s warm breath vacating a face creased into the smile of its own private joke.

Each time it begins in the same way, it doesn’t begin the same way, each time it begins it’s the same.

Go ahead hit me motherfucker fled my lips and the officer did not need to hit me, the officer did not need anything from me except the look on my face on the drive across town. You can’t drive yourself sane. You are not insane. Our motion is wearing you out. You are not the guy.

This is what it looks like. You know this is wrong. This is not what it looks like. You need to be quiet. This is wrong. You need to close your mouth now. This is what it looks like. Why are you talking if you haven’t done anything wrong?

And you are not the guy and still you fit the description because there is only one guy who is always the guy fitting the description.

In a landscape drawn from an ocean bed, you can’t drive yourself sane–so angry you can’t drive yourself sane.

The charge the officer decided on was exhibition of speed. I was told, after the fingerprinting, to stand naked. I stood naked. It was only then I was instructed to dress, to leave, to walk all those miles back home.

And still you are not the guy and still you fit the description because there is only one guy who is always the guy fitting the description.

Picture above: Glenn Ligon Untitled (speech/crowd) #2

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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Really though, please remember:

We all deserve joy. Pleasure and peace and love, too.

Welcome your anger and sadness and grief when they finds you. Sit in it, swim through it, give love to what you’ve lost and the bits of your life left behind. Go slowly. Breathe.

Then remember you deserve joy! And let yourself bask in it when it finds you. Dance in it, laugh in it, grown in it. Give love to all that you have and all that you are. Linger in it. Rest.

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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That was fun

Tumblr is still very political

I am definitely far from the “Christian” community compared to where I was a decade ago (Still love the Lord, not so much the Western Church. Long story...)

Still crazy I met my husband on this site and it’s going on 10.5 years and 5 children (#5 due next week!)

Essentially a time capsule for a moment in my life that I can look back on but have moved past.

#me #myself #i #rothehumbled #life #bye now

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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#rothehumbled

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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Moon interlude. By astrofalls.

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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I kinda missed singing Coldplay songs so...

#music

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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Well, well, well...

Not actually here but here we are.

What is life?

#me #myself #I #Obligatory post

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 2 years

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"Can You Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say?"

“Can You Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say?”

“Nobody Right, Nobody Wrong” Michael Franti & Spearhead If I’ve learned anything in the last decade, it’s the lasting impact of words. I used to be extremely careless with mine and have paid for it. Now, I’m currently in the process of working out what is too much and what is not enough. Do I stay silent or speak up? How much do I share or keep to myself? Who should I tell or not tell? Is it…

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#2021 #action #inaction #nobody right nobody wrong #opinion #Personal #professional #responsibility #truth #words

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 3 years

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Does The End Truly Justify The Means...

Does The End Truly Justify The Means…

Something I’ve been contemplating lately is how I’ve wronged others over the years, especially the past decade as I struggled with myself and YHWH. I’ve lost a lot of relationships over the years, some I didn’t think would end no matter the hardship or growing pains. Then one day I read somewhere: in someone else’s story, we were the villain at one point or another. The truth of that struck me…

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 4 years

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What Am I Even Doing...

What Am I Even Doing…

I’ve been asking myself this for a couple years now. I have not arrived at any conclusions yet. The main theme I keep taking away as I try to figure this out: don’t let fear stop you.

Fear is such a debilitating thing. It’s the murderer of dreams. It’s the parking park of life. It’s also overly used.

At its base, fear is useful. It helps us pay more attention to what’s going on around us,…

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 4 years

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Are You a Captive of Your Past?

“Everywhere you go, there you are.”

Everything that has happened up to now has led you to this point in your life, good or bad. Mistakes suck, but look at how much has been learned. Look at how far you have come. Joy and peace are possible in the present and the future despite whatever past you have.

You may have scars. Those scars are a testimony of strength, of everything you’ve gone through.…

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 4 years

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Working on believing and trusting His promises 🌈 Despite the fact that I've seen Him provide over and over again, doubts still plague my mind because I think "Why me?" 🌈 Instead I'm trying to think, "Why NOT me? He has chosen me. I am loved." 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 #Trust https://www.instagram.com/p/B5u3pJDntPej09S-p-f2FxWqWYHNq8RzMzvNi80/?igshid=7a46mblfcnv0

#trust

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 4 years

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I love our back yard views ☀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B5K-4i3l_9QVMrxndY3se1aEaoLTNcyU0GILR00/?igshid=1ghxc41eh3nlu

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 4 years

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This is a great example of who my husband is: while at work he put out honey for the bees. Always taking care of someone or something 💚😘 I love you, @thewitchkeeper https://www.instagram.com/p/B5GDIdKnC4Lnv8E3QFztJq8NsJEgcszqyz0iyA0/?igshid=i5pkwnfmqzwd

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beingthelightinthedarkness · 4 years

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A good lesson to finish out 2019 and start 2020 with 🍻 https://www.instagram.com/p/B445igUn6nopT8gd7qZ0uTRvD_HHuaaMt8rgtI0/?igshid=1plogcz7pw9p6

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