sometimes i'm shocked by it. you know when you put in new contacts after using old ones for a while and you're like oh the trees have leaves and everyone around you laughs? every time i find something new i love i feel like i'm seeing leaves for the first time. yesterday i remembered i love sudden rainstorms. oh yeah, i love this thing. my heart is full of trees i forget to notice.
i forget the last time i was happy like this. but that's the good thing. i will be happy like this again, and so will you. it just shows up and you remember, suddenly, oh yeah.
thinking about “you haven’t met all the people who will love you” and like!!! you also haven’t found all the things that will make you happy!!!! there will always be new authors and musicians and artists whose work you will one day discover and love!!!! there will always be new hobbies and skills for you to learn and feel fulfilled by!!! there will always be new things around the corner that will bring sudden and unexpected happiness!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are scrolling through Tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about, or you’re looking for a sign. It is going to be okay. Just breathe. You are alive and you matter.
You are not annoying or difficult if you demand people use your correct name and pronouns. You are not annoying or difficult if you change your name and pronouns multiple times. You are not annoying or difficult if you use neopronouns. Your name and pronouns are important and you have the right to have them respected.
eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.