asstrophysiques

[asstrophysiques]

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

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“ew thick water gross and weird” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!! “ew why buy pre-cut vegetables when you can cut your own” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!!! “I don’t need a device to help me put my socks on I’m not lazy” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU !!!!!!!!! “Why drink liquid meals when you can cook them” ITS!!!!! NOT!!!!!! FOR!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!

[asstrophysiques]

Church of Whale Fall

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My experience with queer media lately:

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what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”

[asstrophysiques]

free my woman she did all of that but i dont care

[asstrophysiques]

the thing about team 69 is that griddlehark is about exactly as insane as you'd expect given their circumstances, which only serves to make cam and pal even funnier. they don't have any fucking excuse, they had an entire society around them, why are they that bad? why is their closest parallel for unhinged devotion and codependency the two repressed teenage lesbians who were the only children on their entire fucking planet? like team 69 works because each pair looked at the other and very incorrectly went "finally, some normal fucking people" but cam and pal did that to themselves on purpose where gideon and harrow were basically forced into that absolute disaster of a situationship. it's great

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the weird thing is, when I view my job as some sort of background extra it becomes much more palatable. people go to a library and see me shelving a stack of books in my cardigan and glasses (now with glasses chain!) and they go "yeah, that's exactly right. that's how it's supposed to be in a library." and for some reason, that's comforting? the work is whatever, and the customers are customers, but sometimes it feels like I'm being paid just to make sure this places looks right, and I find that very fun.

[asstrophysiques]

i think gideon should have had twitter

original tweet:

[asstrophysiques]

a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

[asstrophysiques]

I just don’t get it. How can our society act so goddamned normal about seahorses. How can anybody so casually accept that that’s a fish???

This is one of nature’s most anatomically perverse of all beasts. A FISH, like a carp or a bass or a beta is a fish, but it bent its body straight up only to bend its head permanently back down. It stretched its skull into a pipe. It tapered its tail like a lizard, specifically like a chameleon. It can also move its eyes independently by the way, you know, like a chameleon. Fun fact, it can change color to express its mood, like you know whatever does that. It doesn’t properly swim anymore. It buzzes its few remaining fins like an insect’s wings to float itself around at a snail’s pace. It lives its whole life clinging to coral branches or seaweed, which means it decided to become a “tree dweller” in an environment where gravity didn’t even matter anyway. The males get pregnant. They make noises at each other by rubbing some of their neck bones together. Every day, EVERY DAY a mated pair does a little dance and a little neck bone song so they remember which two seahorses they were. They’re a beautiful precious obscenity. Nothing so adorable ever made such a strong case against a logical creator.

They have as little skin and meat as they could get away with. Their skeleton is almost all they are.

[asstrophysiques]

You can't be talking like that, statics homework

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do you think a dude ever had sex with another guy

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I promise you, relationship anarchy is a good thing. Tell your friends you love them. Go on dates. Domme them. Take them to weddings. Have a relationship with the sub from the dungeon where she does your taxes or you mow his lawn. Help your neighbor plant begonias and become their honorary granddaughter. Become friends with your partner’s partners. Cuddle with your book club and talk about Polysecure or something, idk.

I don’t care. Just stop expecting every relationship to follow a specific pattern and instead find the beauty you both want in your specific relationship with that other person.

Life is more than the nuclear family and strict pseudo-Christian mythological ideals.

[asstrophysiques]

Church of Whale Fall

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The Reverend Daughter and her Cavalier bride

As a lesbian on tumblr there was never an if tlt was going to become my fav book series ever, there was only when

[asstrophysiques]

It's occurred to me that although many Locked Tomb characters have died and still managed to hold on to their positions as major onscreen characters (or gained a new position as a major onscreen character after death, e.g. Ortus) it's not really a "death is cheap" universe like Homestuck was for example, where every single character has died at least once and it was all no big deal. But it's clearly also not a "death is final" universe. So I want to propose a new category for the Locked Tomb: "death is expensive". That is, if your blorbo dies, there is still a solid chance that they will reappear onscreen at a later date, but you will have to pay a hefty fee of body horror and/or self-destructive codependent body-sharing or equivalent value for that privilege