askanonbinary

[askanonbinary]

Do you have any good links/reads on nonbinary and masculine nonbinary/queerness through history? Both my partner and I are trans and thinking on a lot of gender stuff and don't really know where to start

I absolutely do! If you are looking for individual stories, these might interest you:

Zinaida Gippius 

Social Men

Claude Cahun

If you are looking for a book to read this is a favourite of mine:

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender

Kit Heyam

(Affiliate link above)

[askanonbinary]

im a young non-binary and im having difficulty finding and choosing a name. i tend to be really indecisive with stuff in general so im scared if i choose a name i’ll stop liking it. ive got a lot of names i like but nothing quite fits. any tips on finding names?

You don't have to stick with a name forever. Most people I know have gone through multiple names on their journey to their "forever name." In fact, some people I know don't have a forever name and just change a lot. Some people I know have multiple names. I do. I go by Zoe, Leo, or Zoe Leo. I do this in my personal life and my professional life. Some people switch names depending on their feeling, but some - like me - are up for being called whatever name you want.

My point is take some pressure off. If you choose a name and stop liking it, then you just use a different name. The best way to find what fits and what doesn't is to use a new name and test it out!

I can be here to write about you in the 3rd person if you need, there are also name and pronoun testers that can be helpful here.

Good luck!!

-Mod Zoe Leo

#ask #Anonymous #mod zoe leo

[askanonbinary]

AANB Has Opted-Out of AI Sharing

I wanted to let all of you readers and those who offer submissions to know that this blog has opted out of AI sharing, so anything you share is as safe as we can make it.

-Mod Zoe Leo

#mod zoe leo

[askanonbinary]

anyone of any gender or identity can use whatever pronouns they want. trans men can use she/her, trans women can use he/him, nonbinary people don't have to use they/them or neopronouns, genderfluid people don't have to alternate pronouns, anyone can use they/them, it/its, ze/hir, xe/xem or neopronouns, cishet people can use whatever pronouns they want. anyone can use whatever pronouns they want

pronouns are not locked or tied to genders. destroy the binary in your mind that dictates that pronouns have an assigned gender, presentation, or identity. they don't. the only thing a pronoun set means about you is that you like to use those pronouns. have fun, be yourself

[askanonbinary]

I wanted to update y'all on this. Since I did this, more people around the office are correctly gendering me. Almost no one has used she/her without immediately correcting themselves. One person tried neopronouns. Everyone else is leaning into they/them, but idk it's like this helped them to see.. I'm not a girl. That's not me. I am a trans. My pronouns are not optional.

So in short, I am taking away that they/them is great and accessible.. but cis people can easily pretend they don't exist. But neopronouns are weird enough cis people have to pay attention.

In other words, neopronouns are net good and using them peofessionally is good.

i just came out with neopronouns at work and i'm so nervous i could actually throw up

#neopronouns #mod zoe leo

[askanonbinary]

I wanted to reblog this here because I think it's so important to share the visibility and encouragement. So far, 4 people have heart reacted to my announcement in the teams chat and one person has thumbs up reacted. 3/4 managers have heart reacted, and so I know they have my back. I know my office is accepting and kind, which is why I felt safe enough to do this at all... But I was and still am really scared.

I said my my teams announcement that I realized I couldn't be frustrated by the lack of normalization of neopronouns in professional spaces without working towards that normalization. So here's a reminder:

Your neopronouns are not silly, nor childish, nor unprofessional. The pronouns that make you feel safe and understood, that correctly refer to you are good and do not need to be sanitized.

i just came out with neopronouns at work and i'm so nervous i could actually throw up

#neopronouns #mod zoe leo

[askanonbinary]

Past experiences don't negate your identity now. Sometimes identity can be fluid, sometimes the label or identity that fits you now may not have been the one that fit you in the past.

[askanonbinary]

I'm a lesbian and a demigirl can I also use the term trans or non-binary? I'm 14 years old... and can I also use neutral and feminine pronouns or just neutral?

You can use whatever terms and pronouns make you feel like you.

Mod Zoe Leo

#ask #marikaulitzbr #you make the rules #no one else

[askanonbinary]

if you’re like. 14 and trans on tumblr rn and getting ur first anon hate from terfs. word of advice. stop responding to that shit. theyre only gonna send more, it’s only gonna make you spiral even if you put on a strong face. report + block messages as soon as they come in, don’t let them sit in your inbox it’s gonna make you feel like shit. turn off anon for a few days, block anyone suspicious in your notes liberally for a little while. repeat as needed. don’t give them the time of day. it sucks, but like. i dont know any trans person on the internet with any following who hasn’t gotten some disgusting messages. just. be safe yknow

#block them and ignore them #trust me from experience #when I (mod gillian) post screenshots mocking them its purely as a bit and I have already blocked them

[askanonbinary]

I have a small question about neopronouns, if that’s alright!I identify as a cis female (I think), however I go by she/they pronouns since I feel like they suit me, I guess. However, recently I’ve taken a liking to shroom/shroomself pronouns, because they just.. make me happy! I feel all bubbly and excited when someone uses them to refer to me, because they seem to fit my personality, if that makes sense. So, I’ve decided on she/her and shroom/shroomself. 

However, when I told one of my friends this, they told me that going by female pronouns and neopronouns could be offensive and disrespectful to others who are struggling to find out who they are. I just wanted to know whether or not it could be offensive at all. I don’t wanna hurt anyone ;w;

————————————————

Pronouns are tools of gender expression no different than clothes or hairstyle. They are not “owned” by one gender (or gender group) and so using neopronouns as a cis person is 100% not offensive.

This line of thinking kept me from using non-binary pronouns for years before I did because I thought they were off limits to me, and even though I felt comfortable in them, it wasn’t my place and it would be offensive for me to use them. Which is one of the reasons that pronouns are open to everyone.

It’s also important to normalize and spread acceptance of neopronouns so any increased usage from anyone is always appreciated.

This message and the prospect of a cis person using neopronouns brought a smile to my face and I hope Jaxie knows shrooms decisions for shroomself is beautiful!

#mod zoe leo #pronouns #neopronouns

[askanonbinary]

viewing queer identities as “this is the label that makes me happy and feels most accurate now” rather than “this is who I am, was, and always will be” will definitely take the pressure off, friends. changing your mind is proof that you have one.

[askanonbinary]

Can I use It/It’s as my Pronoun set?

If that's what you want, go for it!

-Mod Zoe Leo

#ask #mod zoe leo #pronouns

[askanonbinary]

One of the hosts on my large Zoom event yesterday listed , "khe/kher" pronouns in their name. They were a busy moderator so my direct chat was unanswered. What do these pronounds reflect?

They reflect that khe/kher is the pronoun set this person uses?

Pronouns are not defined by a gender because anyone from any gender can use any pronoun set. So no one can define what someone's usage of a particular pronoun set means except the person using them in that instance.

In general, though, it is impolite to ask unless you have a rapport and a relationship with that person where they would recognize that question as curious and respectful as opposed to invalidating and rude.

-Mod Zoë Leo

#ask #mod zoe leo #pronouns

[askanonbinary]

to the person who sent this anon in the middle of the night.

Come off anon and put your chest into it.

Hell, I am once again extending my offer, if you pay me, I will come on your podcast for you to explain my gender to me. Not 100 dollars anymore though, this inflation shit is nasty, its 150 now.

-mod gillian

#mod gillian #transphobia #I open the askbox of this blog for the first time in ages and I'm greeted with this dogshit

[askanonbinary]

lowering the social stigma of gender nonconformity also lowers the threshold of how bad people have to be suffering before they’re willing to discuss their feelings openly. I guarantee you that a TON of humans who felt vaguely alienated by/uncomfortable with their assigned gender have lived and died within a cisgender identity framework, because the enormous social cost of being honest just wasn’t worth it if they weren’t miserable. that was a bad thing!

letting people weigh their options for themselves without putting a thumb on the scale is freeing. so of course we’ve started hearing people discuss wildly unusual ways of experiencing gender. it does not matter whether the teenagers who made up the goofy-sounding new gender term you’re annoyed about end up being capital-T trans or not. it just matters that they feel safe talking about it, because everyone benefits from that. you cannot lower one threshold without lowering the other. this is a feature, not a bug. this is a good thing!

[askanonbinary]

What is a gender neutral word for "Girllll💅 or "DUUUUUDE!!😳"? The best I can come up with is them but pronounced like "DAAAMN"

Y'ALL works with either emoji or adding extra letters

Mod Zoe Leo

#y'all #mod zoe leo #i am from the se us #and we are right #y'all is a superior word

[askanonbinary]

hi, im afab and i get a lot of dysphoria from my period. some people have told me to get on birth control and skip the placebo pills, but im scared that the feminine hormones in the bc will have an effect on other things, like make my boobs bigger or something like that. do you know if this is a thing or am i just overthinking? idk what to do

birth control pills do not make your boobs bigger. The hormones responsible for breast growth and the hormones in hormonal birth control are different hormones. Using hormonal birth control to stop or lessen your periods for dysphoric reasons is a very common thing.

-Mod Zoe Leo

#mod zoe leo #i bet y'all thought you saw the last of me #dysphoria #birth control #periods