ask-thedepressedkidatthetable

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

Been reading The Lottery in my own pace and wowwww! It's so good!

#ooc

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

#character inspiration | sylwia #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

#inspiration #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

Selene by Nádia Maria

#art #surrealism #nadia maria #flesh #character inspiration | alex smite #[queue] #space

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

I didn’t realise this until adulthood but handmade birthday piñatas are the apex of parental devotion. I spent the week cooking for my ravenous teenage cousins and felt a bit crestfallen at times that I was spending so long making something that was going to disappear within minutes—but with piñatas it’s so much worse, they exist to be savagely maimed. Year after year my father asked his kids what shape they wanted this year’s piñatas to be and he spent weeks painstakingly making them in the basement after work, only to watch a bunch of oversugared bat-wielding kids gleefully destroy them in less than 10 minutes. 

I mentioned this to him and he said he remembered researching tarantula anatomy for the giant spider piñata I asked for when I was 4, trying to make the fangs the right shape and to cut the crepe paper into very thin ribbons so the thing would look appropriately fuzzy, and I was like “and I don’t even remember it because I was four!! spending so long building a beautiful object only so your kids will have fun destroying it, knowing they won’t even remember it, is such a selfless endeavour” and he said “my other motivation was that you said you wanted the spider to look real & scary so the kids at your birthday party would be terrified of it and you’d get to scoop up all the candy and I wanted to support your slyness & ambition”

#character inspiration | alex smite #character inspiration | william starchild #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

my actual most toxic trait is that i earnestly believe with all my heart that i could survive truly horrific injury or stranding in the wilderness, withstand torture, fight and win against opponents twice my size and strength, or even return from death itself through sheer force of will and frothing primal rage, but when faced with minor inconveniences i immediately start looking for a warm place to curl up and die like an injured forest animal

#ooc #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

The silt verses chapter 37

I will keep making cool silt verses fanart until more people listen to this podcast, I am desperate.

#inspiration #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

Sylwia momentarily tore her hand away from her face, waving it dismissively. "Difficult." And far too expensive for the services they offered. Sylwia would have rathered waste Carter's money on near anything else. "Besides, whom would we "put a hit out" on?" She was genuinely curious and looking forward to any forthcoming response.

"Which is all the time then?" She huffed, shaking her head. She didn't have anything more to say to that, because her options were too dismissive or too genuine for their relationship. They seemed to bounce between the two worlds, almosts and nearly whispered words along in the dark or the jokes and adventures Carter brought her. If nothing else, life with him was thrilling. "No! That's not what I meant!" Sylwia said desperately, sitting up, grasping his hands and wrists with new tears down her face. She was fucking it all up this time. "I don't blame you." It wasn't the three words they hadn't said yet, and it wasn't an apology, but she hoped Carter understood that she meant it like all those things at once! That she wanted to stay.

Sylwia looked away. What else were they going to steal from them? What- did they have to move faster? Take these moments while they still had them? She opened her mouth, quickly shutting it. No, she couldn't do that. She wished she could, but things were already moving at a dizzying pace. "Oh god," Sylwia said, pulled out of her thoughts all of a sudden. "not this shit again." She really had a hard time believing so many women were interested in Carter! And despite having evidence, seeing old flames try to throw themselves against the other again, it just never registered because it always felt like they were after a name change and lifestyle. They weren't there for Carter. "How many times do I have to listen to this?"

"Thank you." Just- god, she knew it must have been a lot, more than she ever wanted to know, but it was just such a relief to hear Carter say that he'd handle everything. Her knight in a shining, overpriced shirt. Sylwia half smiled at the thought. "I feel like I owe people so much." She said. "Like, all the time." Maybe if she gave enough she wouldn't feel like a bad person anymore.

"I can only imagine. First a photo today, then a full-length video tomorrow. Your father's publicist wouldn't be bale to handle it." Of course they'd have to make it public! It was the only fitting way! "I-" Yeah, yeah, maybe she would actually ask Carter's sister about it one of these days. Learn how to pick herself up rather than asking Carter to carry her. "You're the one that wants to go outside all the time, of course you use a narrative to justify it. I don't mind the indoors."

Ooh . . . a hard choice. Honestly, she was surprised he brought Clue up, she wouldn't have imagined that being a favorite for him. "I could play Cards Against Humanity with you."

"Maybe they keep rejecting her application because she's an old hag who'll die before paying off all her debts." Oh, it was needlessly mean but it amused her, the faintest hint of a laugh escaping her as she dried her face best she could. It was difficult to do while one-handed and still trying to conceal her face! Why she was hiding from Carter she didn't know.

"You're just saying that." Sylwia said, registering the silence between them late. Carter hadn't immediately came back with another one of his smart retorts. She had to dab at her eyes again. lip quivering as she squeezed his hand tighter. She hadn't meant to kill the conversation! "I regret Monopoly night." That fight night- and that came out all wrong! She could see it flash across his face like she'd slapped him. "I- I-" She already had it planned out in her head. All the perfect words. Why were they so difficult to say? "I would have let you take a picture of me. Not- not. . ." It was still coming out wrong, but the clarity was fading and she didn't know what to say anymore. "They stole something from us." She finally managed, hiccuping immediately afterward.

If she had realized- Stupid, stupid girl. - That the least of her problems were Carter respecting her boundaries, maybe she would have taken that leap. Maybe they would have a million little things no one could take from them.

Sylwia frowned. "I thought that was all Twitter was for." It was a platform- like so many others, to argue! What was a pointed insult in a sea of hurtful words? "I don't want to look at the statement." She said softly. "I have nothing to say to them." It felt too much like feeding the trolls to her. "I- please. Just deal with it." Carter dealt with this all the time! Him and his family knew what to do!

Sylwia laughed, hiding her face away again. She tried not to laugh, she really did, Carter's head was big enough as it was! But it got to her. "My god, is that all you can think of at a time like this? I'm surprised you didn't suggest a movie after." Sylwia huffed, playfully swatting his hand. Not that it was a bad suggestion. "How do you do it without hiding all the time?" She asked seriously, looking up at him. She didn't know how she was going to manage this. She could feel them. They were outside the house, watching, waiting for their chance.

"Do you have any other games? Other than Monopoly? We . . . We could take those to your room."

#sylwia&carter #eeliabwrites #[ you know I'll always wait for you! ] #[ also I don't think you took that long! xD ] #[ speaking of; I thought #'oh; do a little of this today; little tomorrow ] #[ nope! it all just came out at one time! ]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

Safia Elhillo, from Girls That Never Die: Poems; “Geneva”

[Text ID: “To ask for help would be to speak & of course we never spoke.”]

#character inspiration | justin timpest #alex&casper #character inspiration | alex smite #heartxshaped-bruises #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

🤍“𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐞.”🤍

#faceclaim | justin timpest | owen teague #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

i think "oh my childhood doesn't even impact me that much" & then im Afraid To Sit in The Living Room

#character inspiration | alex smite #character inspiration | sylwia #character inspiration | justin timpest #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

yesterday i was hiking with my dog and passed by a family with their 14 yo princess of darkness trotting behind them in very unsuitable clothes and uncomfortable shoes that clearly weren't meant to get dirty on forest mud. oh the quintessential teenage experience of doing something in a way that is stupid and sucks because it's important that it's your own way 🫡

#character inspiration | alex smite #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

The quickest way to make everyone think you've lost your mind is to learn like two things the CIA has done and then try to explain it.

#character inspiration | justin timpest #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

"You have to fight for what's worth it, not just bullshit." Alex let out a huff, rolling his eyes. Yeah dude, he knew. He'd watched enough band interviews to recognize the shape. "Such a shame you have to hold back their natural shape." He teased. If he had dope fantasy vampire claws like Aiden could have had, he wouldn't have ever trimmed his nails! "Oh, should I? Well I don't see your name on the door!" Which, to be fair, could be said for Alex. He hadn't even written his name on that white sticker in the mailbox. Caused some problems that way with getting old mail that wasn't meant for him. Alex finally let go. "You want it to be our place?" Like, for real?

"Oh? Not even Batman? What if Batman starts getting on your case?" Alex waved his hand flippantly. "Never mind that." He dismissed. Besides, it was obvious! Wasn't even half! He said what he meant! "I'm not hiding anything. You just haven't asked." Alex grinned up at the other. "Can't it be a little bit of both?" Revenge was a dish best served creatively and in two courses.

Aiden listened to Alex's words, gently nodding his head in understanding. "I know, sometimes it is hard to give up that fight, but I promise you that I will do my best to not fight, it's getting too tiring to fight." He spoke softly, a gentle and content hum escaped his lips as Alex continued to play with his fingers, it was far too soothing to him to ask him to stop. His eyes watched as he noticed Alex inspecting his nails. "I have to keep them like that, for guitar playing of course." He chuckled. "Well since I am here all of the time, maybe you should consider it our place." He replied with a teasing grin on his face.

"I mean I am sure something else could pop up in my life and start to make me even more mysterious, not even the best detectives will be able to figure me out." Aiden joked looking at Alex with a smile on his lips. "What do you mean even half, what are you hiding from me Alex and should I be concerned or be your partner in crime in all of this." He asked, curiosity filling his voice.

#alex&aiden #fangsandmagic

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

You're dead serious. I'm alive silly. We're not the same

#alex&rhy #[queue]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

In a minute, Sylwia would move onto the next cigarette, not stopping until her hands stopped shaking so much. She had expected it'd be like that all night, silence in the other's company as they remained with their own thoughts, staring at the stars or distant traffic. She stared at the other, leaning on the railing and running a hand through her hair, dragging it forward to cover her face a bit more. Her elaborate, artistic makeup that usually covered half her face was smudged and completely worn away around her eyes. Shameful, really. She usually looked better than this. Not that she was ever much to look at. "Hello." So, why now? Most times they could barely be bothered to give a nod in passing- was it so loud? Had it sounded so bad? "Yes." Sylwia's voice was still a bit raw, and moreover, she really had no clue what to say to the other. Small talk had never been her strong suit and direct responses were polite back home. It had never really gone over well here. Not that anything had ever really gone well for her. Location was irrelevant.

Silence settled between them like she had ended the conversation and cut any possibility of connection out of their futures. She just didn't know how to fix that. Never did, right? Sylwia pushed any unpleasant feels she had on the matter deep, deep down, taking another drag of her cigarette. "Yourself?" Maybe that was how they could talk, about him because Sylwia doubted anyone wanted or needed to hear more about her. It wasn't like this was this was the first time they'd gotten into these fights.

open to: f/nb (30+)

muse info: Kenji Ishihara. 36. private investigator. Bio here

Connection: Your muse shares a wall with Ken. He’s the quiet mysterious type that hardly ever says a word to your muse until one day he checks in on them after hearing them have a huge fight with their s/o, maybe even offer to rough them up as a joke ( except maybe not really joking).

Kenji was staring up at the stars absently, smoking a cigarette against the wall of the complex's communal balcony, until the sound of the door opening drew his attention. As the loud squeak of rusted metal signaled he was no longer alone up there, he turned to see his neighbor stepping out into the cool night, watching silently for a moment as his mind flashed to the shouting he’d heard through the walls not even a half hour earlier. It sounded like a serious fight and he’d been half-tempted at the time to knock on their door to step in. They’d never said more than a word to each other in passing, mostly due to Ken not being the most outgoing type, but something in the other person’s voice had put him on edge and compelled him to want to make they were okay. It didn't help the fact that this was not the first time he'd heard them through the walls like that before. He'd never said anything because he typically stayed out of other people's business unless he was paid to get involved.

“Hey,” he said softly, making his presence know as he took another slow drag. “Come to look at the stars?” He asked. Kenji wasn't really one for making small talk but he figured it was a good way to try and gauge if his neighbor was alright without outwardly asking and making things awkward or uncomfortable. If it turned out the other didn't want to talk he wouldn't push it, but at the same time, he couldn't just play the silent treatment and act like they didn't exist like he normally would most days.

#sylwia&kenji #thedevilsbckbone #[hello hello! hope this is alright for you <3]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

Is it normal to feel this empty? Is it normal to feel this numb? Is it normal to exist without really existing?

— I guess there's something wrong with me

#character inspiration | alex smite #tw depressive #[queue]