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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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*inside a food hall*
Gryffindor: *looking at menu* “What’re you getting, Puff?”
-silence-
Gryffindor: “Puff?” *sees Puff isn’t to the right of him anymore* “Where’d you go-“
Hufflepuff: “I’m getting takoyaki.”
Gryffindor: *turns around to see Puff slightly behind to the left of him*
Hufflepuff: “And maybe some fries.”
Gryffindor: *looks to his right again and sees a self-moving food serving robot.* “…did the robot scare you?”
Hufflepuff: “…no…maybe…yes…”
Gryffindor: *laughing and teasing Puff*
Slytherin: *glares*
Gryffindor: *stops laughing*
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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No Seafood
Hufflepuff: “You don’t like seafood?”
Gryffindor: “W-why do you look so sad?”
Hufflepuff: “Because you’re missing out on some really good food!”
Gryffindor: “Don’t worry! I can’t eat them anyway!”
Hufflepuff: “Oh…oh is it because they’re um…they’re uh…poison to your body?”
Gryffindor: “Poison?”
Slytherin: “She means allergies.”
Gryffindor: *laughs* “Yeah, I have some seafood allergy.”
Hufflepuff: “Ooohhh okay, that makes sense.”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Undercut
Situation - Puff giving Sly an undercut style…well…about to…
Slytherin: *hands puff the clippers* “let’s just start with this.”
Hufflepuff: “Okay.” *turns it on and feels that it’s too weak* “…um…Sly…I don’t think these work properly…”
Slytherin: “Just try them.”
Hufflepuff: “…okay…” *proceeds to run it on Sly*
Slytherin: “…ow”
Hufflepuff: *looks at clippers and sees that they cut nothing…and a few strands just got tangled and pulled out.*
-silence-
Hufflepuff: “…it didn’t work…”
Slytherin: “…………”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Careful Yolo
Situation - Hufflepuff cutting Slytherin’s hair.
Hufflepuff: “Okay…but what if I mess up?”
Slytherin: “It’s okay, it’ll grow back. Puff, I don’t care THAT much as long as it doesn’t look too ridiculous.”
Hufflepuff: “Okay…yeah, I’m just gonna yolo it.” *soft, slow snip snip*
Slytherin: “…that was the most cautious yolo ever…”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Among Us
Gryffindor: *calls emergency meeting*
Slytherin: “What the f***?”
Hufflepuff: “Yes?”
Gryffindor: “mini red acting sus, he keeps following me.”
Ravenclaw: “Gryff…if you don’t have something useful I’m voting to kick you out…”
Slytherin: “let’s kick him out regardless.”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Pretty Bathroom
Slytherin: “Oh, before we leave the cafe, you need to use the bathroom here.”
Hufflepuff: “I do?”
Slytherin: “You do. Trust me.”
Hufflepuff: “Okay?” *goes into the bathroom*
- few minutes later -
Hufflepuff: *beaming when coming out of the bathroom*
Slytherin: “So?”
Hufflepuff: “The bathroom is sooo preetttyy!”
Slytherin: *handing Puff her bubble tea* “Are you glad you went to the bathroom?”
Hufflepuff: “Definitely!”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Double Knives
Hufflepuff: “Should I go get the um…the double knives?”
Slytherin: “…double knives?”
Hufflepuff: “Yeah, the ones that attach and they crisscross? Like it’s two knives connected and they move like this.” *shows hand motion*
Slytherin: “I’m sorry…Puff, are you talking about scissors?”
Hufflepuff: “…I…did I really just forget the word for scissors…”
Slytherin: *laughing* “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you forgot a word.”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Missing You
Hufflepuff: “Sslllyyyyy” *runs and hugs Slytherin while crying*
Slytherin: *hugging back in confusion* ”Puff? What’s wrong?”
Hufflepuff: “I j-just” *sniffle* “really m-missed you!” *starts sobbing*
Slytherin: *glares at Ravenclaw & Gryffindor who just walked in*
Ravenclaw: “What the? I thought Puff ran back in to set up the games!”
Gryffindor: “Puff!? What’s wrong!?”
Slytherin: “Did you guys bully her?”
Raven&Gryff: *both getting scared of Sly*
Gryffindor: “No, we didn’t! I swear! Tell her, Puff!”
Ravenclaw: “Yeah, she was literally fine like a minute ago! Right, Puff?”
Slytherin: “No lie?”
Hufflepuff: “T-they didn’t do anything.” *Sly wiping Puff’s tears away* “I j-just really missed you today.”
Slytherin: *laughs* “Aw, Puff - I missed you too.”
Gryffindor & Ravenclaw: *sighs in relief*
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Die
Hufflepuff: “Die.” *smacks hands together then starts cleaning the house like crazy*
Slytherin: “…Puff…” *watches Puff running around throwing things away, reorganizing, etc* “…are you okay?”
Hufflepuff: “Yep! Just killed a bug~”
Slytherin: “Thought you didn’t kill bugs?”
Hufflepuff: “I only kill them when they’re inside the house.”
Slytherin: “…ok…” Puff is definitely stressed…
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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The C Chord
Ravenclaw: *writing something down* “Puff, can you play the C chord?”
Hufflepuff: *pauses playing piano* “Sure!” *plays C chord*
Ravenclaw: *scribbles something*
Hufflepuff: “…is that all?”
Ravenclaw: “yeah, thanks…what was that chord you just played?”
Hufflepuff: “…the C chord…is your brain loose today?”
Ravenclaw: *realization* “…I…yeah…”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Human Pet
Hufflepuff: “Okay, but wouldn’t it be better to keep humans as pets if you were a vampire? Constant blood supply, y’know?”
Gryffindor: “Sure, but then what if the humans conspire against you and attempt to kill you?”
Ravenclaw: “Not to mention that vampires don’t have impulse control.”
Slytherin: “Guys, seriously…I love ya’ll…but…It is freaking 3 in the morning. Get out of my room and GO. TO. SLEEP!”
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asahufflepuff · 2 years
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Roller Coaster
Ravenclaw: “You rode a roller coaster? How?”
Hufflepuff: “How? Um, I got on and I rode it?”
Ravenclaw: “No, I mean, you were terrified of them a few years back!”
Gryffindor: “Does this mean you can ride drop towers!?” *jumping in excitement*
Hufflepuff: “No…definitely not…”
Ravenclaw: *very confused and questioning everything they know about Hufflepuff*
Gryffindor: *sulking because puff can’t ride drop towers yet*
Slytherin: *puts arm around Puff and grins* “Puff grew up during our trip~”
Gryffindor: *confused* “In Disney World?”
Ravenclaw: “Oh! What about princesses? Did you meet any?”
Hufflepuff: *super excited and jumping* “I MET ELSA AND ANNA! ELSA IS SO BEAUTIFUL~! I just wish I was able to meet Cinderella.”
Ravenclaw: *smiling*
Slytherin: *sighs*
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asahufflepuff · 3 years
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Missed Call
Hufflepuff: *picks up phone* “Sly?”
Slytherin: “Sorry I couldn’t pick up the phone earlier, what’s up?”
Hufflepuff: “That’s okay. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to Target with me.”
Slytherin: “Target? Why?”
Hufflepuff: “My mom and sis were supposed to, but they got lazy but I was already done getting ready so I just left. Might as well right?”
Slytherin: “Ah, okay…mmm…I’ve been out the whole day so I’m kinda tired.”
Hufflepuff: “Totally understandable. I hope you get some good rest!”
Slytherin: “Thanks. I’ll see you Saturday.”
Hufflepuff: “Bye~” *hangs up*
*20 minutes later*
Hufflepuff: *opens message from Sly* “Wait…how does Sly know I’m wearing pink?”
Slytherin: “Because I have eyes.”
Hufflepuff: *turns around to see Slytherin* “Sly!” *hugs*
Slytherin: “Now we can both debate on what snacks to get together.”
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asahufflepuff · 3 years
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Bilingual Problems…again…
NOTE: purple = Korean, black = English
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Hufflepuff: “I’m going grocery shopping, do we have…the um…dang it…what’s that word?”
Slytherin: “Basil.”
Ravenclaw: “Bread.”
Gryffindor: “Banana?”
Hufflepuff: “Great alliteration practice, but no…the…uughhhh…forget it, imma just….do we have any manzana and ichigo left?”
- silence -
Ravenclaw: “…those 4 years of high school Spanish and weeb days really be shining through.”
Slytherin: “So you remembered the word ‘alliteration,’ but not ‘apple’ and ‘strawberry’?”
Hufflepuff: “Hey, we all collectively forgot the word ‘car keys’ yesterday.”
Slytherin: “…touché”
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Just in case:
(Spanish) Manzana - Apple
(Japanese) ichigo - strawberry
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asahufflepuff · 3 years
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Giant Floatie
Slytherin: *showing Puff how to get on the pool floatie*
Hufflepuff: *jumps on it, slips and falls into the pool*
Slytherin: *sigh* “I’m gonna have to start calling you Gryffindor…”
Hufflepuff: “Um, sure I guess?” *carefully goes on floatie this time*
Gryffindor: “YEAH! BECOME A GRYFFINDOR LIKE ME!” *jumps on floatie Puff is on and both fall in*
Slytherin: *pinching her eyebrows* “I’m done for the day…”
Ravenclaw: *pretends not to see anything and continues to browse through music to blast*
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asahufflepuff · 3 years
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Peppers & Cucumbers
Hufflepuff & Slytherin are on a nice summer evening stroll.
They both had a long day and being tired didn’t help.
Hufflepuff: *sees long green pepper-shaped things hanging from the trees* “Wow, I didn’t know peppers grew on trees-…” *instant realization*
Slytherin: *looks at Puff’s line of sight to see pine trees and busts out laughing*
Hufflepuff: “…I’m stupid…my…my family freaking grows peppers in our yard…how…why…I…”
Slytherin: “I hope you get some good sleep tonight.” *stifling laughter*
- on their way back home and sees the sa,e pine trees -
Slytherin: “Hey, Puff.” *points to pine trees* “Want some cucumbers?”
Hufflepuff: *groaning but laughing* “no…no thank you”
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asahufflepuff · 3 years
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I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad
I’m a faux pa.
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