You were the reason i started having nightmares. Living nightmares, not the ones you have while asleep. I have nightmares that i will fall for someone like you again. That you will take the form of someone else and hurt me again. I wish i could say i got over you, but i havent. And now that enough tears have fallen on my phone screen I know that you were never meant for me. It’s not okay, because you made me believe you were. But i was just a toy you used to spend your time. I have so much going through my head about you. I dont know how to express them. You were another thing that darkened the black hole inside my heart. I hope someday when you’re married, with children, happy, you suddenly think of me. You think about what i could have given you, but you tossed it away and dismissed my love.
You feel like a drug to me. A drug that makes you feel wonderful under the influence, but at some point it wears off, just how you left, and then I feel so low, not being able to touch you or look you in the eyes.
Φοβάμαι πως η απόσταση μεταξύ μας θα σε πάρει μακρυά μου. Φοβάμαι πως θα σε χάσω κάθε λεπτό, κάθε μήνυμα που ανταλλάζουμε, κάθε μέρα που περνάει χωρίς να σε φιλώ.
I wish I met you at a different stage in your life. I wish you were right where I am. Ready, ready to be with me. But you’re not and in some ways I get it. I never meant to fall for you or develop feelings.
But that’s how I am. When I fall for someone, I fall hard.
My best friend calls lovers who come back into your life, “flamingos”. What she means is, that flamingos leave in winter to go somewhere hotter but they always come back in time for summer. And just like that, a lover comes back into your life, even unexpectedly. I don’t know if I like that term anymore though, because like I said, even if they come back, they always leave (you).