antlersandwings

[antlersandwings]

oh gods no I think a suddenly orphaned little one is wandering around my house. I was about to turn on to my street coming home about 20 minutes ago and coming around a curve I saw a car ahead of me in the opposite lane start frantically flashing their headlights... There's a minor detour I took so I didn't have to drive by them (I'm incredibly paranoid abt strangers in cars at night specifically) but as I was turning I saw the briefest outline of them walking in front of their vehicle and now... Now there's suddenly a little deer wandering my neighborhood calling out at 3:30 am and I want to go help it so, so badly but I also really need to get to sleep... :( My heart hurts. I hope it makes it through this

#i hear it calling out and i just. little one I'm here i wanna help you so badly #i think it went back into the woods at this poing I don't hear it anymore #and that poor driver #i hope their car didn't get too damaged. that must've scared them so badly :( #they also warned me the moment i was in view and while it did terrify me im so grateful for it #i got followed home one night like two years ago now and the option that makes the most sense is that they were friends of my neighbor #and thought i was him bc we had almost the same car at the time #but i have absolutely no idea if it was them but holy shit I'm so scared of strangers in cars at night now #nothing bad happened like they drove away after a little bit of just. sitting at the end of my driveway while i felt like screaming #but nothing has happened since. so i think I'm in the clear. but holy shit it was just. chilling. i know they couldn't have known #what i even look like bc it was like 1am and they were behind me #at no point could they really have seen my face but just. why why did they follow me who were they i hope it necer happens again #antlers #anyway little one i am so so sorry that you have to go through this #i really hope it still has one parent to help it along

[antlersandwings]

Oh I was also a mountain lion too at some point. Sierra Nevadas maybe?

#maybe i was very attatched to homeward bound when i was little #therian #very ironic that their main prey is what else but white tailed deer #helpful that i lived main predator before main prey. not that i was a deer in an area w mountain lions but still #made me a bit more Aware™️ #also v funny that most of my family goes deer hunting every year and i eat a lot of venison (and boy do i like it) #also always been a fan of steak that's still a bit bloody. medium rare please! #no wonder I've also always been a *I'm gonna climb that big rock* person #claws

[antlersandwings]

Current "when does the soul enter the body" theory: not all at once. It influences the construction of the brain on a metaphysical level and is tied to it during the process. If the brain never reached completion then the soul is still just as attached until death when it becomes whole again.

#i feel like there's something that lines up with the time periods in our lives when we typically start looking into these things #maybe the soul is finishing up some later connections and that's when things start finally Clicking? #and if a significant number of people discover these things in times of Wanting A Sense Of Self #then couldn't that be the soul gently nudging them to things they loved before? just as a habit continuing between lives? #hm. unironically much to think about #musings

[antlersandwings]

Once spring starts, so do the mushroom cravings. Not surprising after a cursory google search abt a certain animal's diet lmao

#antlers #misc #i just mmmm omomomom tastey #also found a great way to cook them #sauté them up however you like then just before they're done crack a couple eggs on top and cover #serve w toast!! super tasty #next time I'll be sure to use an appropriate level of garlic salt whoops #also i feel like i get such specific cravings each season #winter is root veggies #spring is mushrooms. and also the new leaves on trees sometimes (i do not eat them but the desire is there. they look so tenderrrr) #summer is just like. most fruits. berries. some nice flowers #autumn is acorns. and pumpkins #and I've had most of these since as far back as i can remember in this life #i think mushrooms is the only relatively recent one bc they just seemed so strange to me before i first tried them a few years back

[antlersandwings]

Deciding to pinpoint exactly when I lived/died was a good idea, it also tells me where I lived and why I died the way I did. I found possibly another (human) life from the ‘90s, and I wanted to see if all the pieces would fit. They absolutely would.

Knowing that I - in this human life - would’ve been conceived around early October 1998 and keeping that almost-9 months as a buffer - (because really, I’m trying to figure out when the soul enters a new body. I assume the spirit needs to be there first which I believe comes with the first heartbeat - maybe the soul comes at the first breath? Regardless.)  - lends me to believe I was shot late summer 1998. I know I lived as a deer for a few years, and backing it up to the end of my previous human life pens my birth in spring 1996. It makes sense, I already knew I wasn’t Old by deer standards, and I had lived through at least two winters. I was old enough to have had a mate and offspring. In a basic search while making this post, I found that indeed I could’ve done that in my 2nd winter. 

However, giving myself such a small window between that death and this birth, and knowing that my death would’ve been during deer season made me realize that I wouldn’t have lived in my current region. Hunting season (firearm) is November/December here, and it had to have taken place earlier than that.

So, I got to searching. I found a very nice webpage with dates of deer hunting of various types from all 50 states, and not only did I find a few potential candidates due to their earlier seasons, but I found that a lot of said earlier seasons are because of youth hunting. I was shot in the hindquarters, and for a bit was thinking it could’ve been just an inaccurate shot. But, with this new information, wouldn’t it make sense that it may have been a younger, less-experienced hunter? Maybe they didn’t know the gun all that well, maybe they didn’t expect the recoil, etc.

Now, depending on when the soul does come to the body, I could be searching for nothing of merit - if that is the case, then I could’ve been anywhere in a normal hunting season.

The point is, everything still fits, and I am once again reminded of how important it is to listen to intuition and trust yourself when it comes to reincarnation. Things will fit. The things you find will make sense, temporally at the very least. 

I would still really like to figure/find out when the soul comes in. Maybe when the brain is developed? I’m unsure, might never really be sure, but I sure am going to try.

#antlers #so i should mention (if it's not clear already) #that I have a pretty scientific view of reincarnation #or at least... physical view? #i'm not sure of the correct term right now. #but man i have been hammered by many short lives in the 90's #4 of them probably #2 were human and 2 were not #i don't even think my hamster life lived much more than a year #and before that i had a ~14 y/o human life leading into the 90's #and before that i was 20 at most #probably not even that old #man i've had so many short lives #at least the first half of the 1900s was one longer one #and the later half of the 1800s was a different one #directly following one where i was also like 5 years old #man. i hope my soul takes a rest for a bit after this one #i don't want the next life to be so fundamentally Tired down to their/my bones #reincarnation #musings #it really never gets old to see puzzle pieces fitting together like this

[antlersandwings]

ate a turnip for the first time today, root vegetables make deer brain go WHEEEEEEEEE

#thanks @ my dad for telling me that deer love to scrounge up root veggies late autumn/winter #specifically the turnips i ate (raw w a little salt) were planted at the edge of my grandparents' property #to try to keep the deer from eating their garden apparently #i had no idea they planted a line of turnips to do so #never had turnips before. gotta say they're another winner #so crisp and cool. mmm #i as a human don't like raw potaoes but no wonder i've always enjoyed at least the idea of eating them raw #but along with a couple past-life human brains. yeah. root vegetables good. #antlers

[antlersandwings]

not gonna change my url but i have figured out i was a hamster pretty recently. lived in russia somewhere. probably near/in moscow, was a pet to a very sweet little blonde girl. she was very nice and fed me tasty treats like berries and yogurt chips and almonds! I hope she is doing well now.

#i don't remember much of her but #hamsters only live a couple years anyway so #cheeks #i'm not sure what kind i was either but i'm feeling dwarf hamster

[antlersandwings]

Honestly kinda feel bad for the hunter who shot me. I got away, but I still died from it. But if he was anything like my dad in this life is, not only did he lose a bullet and the deer he shot with it, but he probably felt bad about wounding a deer and being forced to let it suffer.

There wasn't snow on the ground, so tracking me was nearly impossible. The bullet hardly even slowed me down in the moment, so I was able to get pretty far away.

Even if I didn't understand who he was back then, I understand now and it's not like I hold anything against him. A lot of deer hunting is for population control. I'd lived a good several years anyway - I mean it's not like I was old but I wasn't *young* either.

I hope my mate survived the winter, my only wish is that I could've helped her through it again.

#musings #antlers

[antlersandwings]

I'm not a deer, but I was a different animal who was shot and killed, so I really resonated with that post. I think I died within minutes, because I was surrounded by snow and probably froze before I bled out. I try not to think about it, but that post made me look at it in a different way.

I'm so sorry that happened to you darling Even if you aren't afraid of it in the moment, dying still isn't fun. Freezing especially is... painful. I'm glad my post resonated with you, though! And I certainly don't speak on behalf of everyone in my writings haha, so I can't say how I found things was the same for everyone. But still, I'm glad I could help! I hope you're having a good [insert time of day for you here]!

#anon #my first message on this blog! I'm honored. #i really am sorry about what you went through love #that sounds like an awful way to go #i at least remember it was warm when i died. I'm sorry you froze

[antlersandwings]

The more I think about it, I think I was too hasty in believing that I was shot and killed instantly. I might not have lasted very long afterwards, but I survived at least a few days later. I remember how Instinct told me death was coming, and when it was setting in. It's so strange, to really just Know that you are going to die soon. Like, you can just feel it. But you're not afraid. You have no reason to be. Your injury doesn't even hurt all that much after a bit; it's easy enough to ignore. Maybe a bone was broken, but you can still walk. Maybe it got infected, but you have no concept of time like humans do: a minute isn't anything more than a breeze blowing across the grass and a few bites of food.

You can feel the passage of time, as all things can, but it's more of a flowing stream than a staircase. It's not something you pay attention to in itself. The weather grows colder so you prepare for and get through another winter. Another hot summer. Your antlers grow in. The trees begin the change again and you remember the strange creatures that walk on two legs and somehow hurt or kill you from so far away. Even if you don't know what they are, you know they're Bad.

You don't notice one getting close until you hear the noise. You feel something like a tooth sink into your hindquarters, but it doesn't come back out. You run, knowing it's your only chance at surviving another day. Instinct screams at you that you have to get away or you'll die. A day passes, and Instinct starts telling you that you are not going to come out of this. A few more days, and you are starting to die.

Eventually, you wake, tongue hot and mouth parched, a strange burning throughout your entire being and you know this will be the last time you wake. It doesn't scare you. Why would it? You are going to return to the dirt you came from, and this will not be the last time, nor was it the first.

#antlers #forest therian #deer therian #therian #otherkin #deer kin #white tailed deer #instinct #musings

[antlersandwings]

guess who just bought a bunch of acorns so I can finally eat some when I'm home next weekend

#FINALLY #i can satiate the craving I've had literally my whole life #mentioned it to my dad and he was (humorously) like 'well i can't say I've ever had that craving' #but I'm excited for him to try them! i found a v simple article on how to prepare and roast them #antlers #also i got shot but didn't die immediately #i think i got shot in a meaty part of my hip and it got infected

[antlersandwings]

No wonder I've always had (but never acted on) the desire to eat an acorn whenever I see one. Apparently they're not only a deer's main source of protein but they constitute 25% of a deer's autumn/early winter diet

#antlers #tbf I don't see acorns often #we don't have any on our property but there's apparently at least one somewhere in the woods across the street #the squirrels sometimes leave shells under our fir trees #acorns aren't safe for human consumption right? like i would/could get sick if i ate one? #bc if they're safe I'd try one some time but i don't think they're safe #... #oh cool if i take them out of their shells and soak them in hot water and seitch it out once it turns brown until it becomes clear #i CAN eat them! #oh man there's so many on campus once we go back #we have some pretty big oak trees on campus i can't wait #and i won't take many of course. just like a handful. #no wonder there's so many deer on campus! and squirrels too of course.

[antlersandwings]

A cozy pile of fawns 

(Via)

#;-; #so little... #antlers

[antlersandwings]

Sometimes it's like "the softness of the forest, the clarity of the air, everything feels limitless and yet somehow so small. Does our consciousness truly reside inside us or does it float like a bubble that we are merely inside? If life was once merely our brains relentlessly moving us forward onto another day or survival, who's to say it's any different now? We operate on desires but is that the only difference?"

Other times it's like "aaaa a tree branch glistening in the rain. I would like to monch but I shall not."

#antlers #every time I see plants after a rain Deer Brain says *snack AND drink* and then human brain says *no dumbass that's how humans get sick* #i haven't given in yet and i don't plan to for obvious reasons #humans aren't meant to eat leaves off a tree obvs #but reminders like that are nice #therian #deer therian #forest therian

[antlersandwings]

I remember living off of instinct.

Humans are undoubtedly ruled by desire, as we have the capability to do so. It is not inherently a bad thing, though it is far more complicated.

Instinct is not a voice not a thought - but a feeling, and yet not a conscious one. It is knowing somehow that the weather will turn. It is knowing you need to find food. It is knowing that creature is dangerous. It is knowing the season of dead and dying things is approaching. It is like a window inside your mind that generates these things. It's such an innate thing that it's hard to describe as someone who no longer runs on it, but it is a clear form in my mind. It is knowing which leaves are good. It is knowing how much brush to lay under to keep hidden and warm enough. It is knowing that soon there will be more of you and knowing from which others they will grow.

Instinct is such a strange thing to us now. We are too developed to run solely on it again, and I truly believe that to be cognizant and fully sentient is better, even if it is far more complicated. Instinct was driven by the need to keep living, for we could not comprehend that one day we would not be.

#antlers #therian #deer #white tailed deer #forest therian #deer therian #musings #how i remember the dappled sunlight through what i now see as emerald green leaves #the smell of the soil under fallen leaves and the carpet of pine needles

[antlersandwings]

Slicing wind and grimaced sun– these angry things will whistle through you swift as a whip cracks and lightning crackles, jagged light singing through your every turn. But the earth whispers: it will not hurt like that– it is cold, and lonely, and you will ache with the ever-shifting dance of roots, but you will find the rest of a pain that never burns. Feel the way the damp wanders through your bones and hum its slow, velvet song. The melody is familiar. The earth croons: forget.

#antlers #and how i forgot

[antlersandwings]

Intro post, informal version:

Hello! I've been studying reincarnation for years now, and I've come to recognize the feelings that come with it to signal who I was and who I will be.

I believe the soul and spirit are two different things - the spirit being the life-force itself, that which goes to the afterlife upon death; and the soul being what carries on throughout space and time and universes upon universes. The spirit gives us breath, the soul carries the knowledge of past lives and future lives and shapes us accordingly. We cannot truly exist without both.

My spirit is that of an angel, the rank of which escapes me at the moment however I may remember it as being a Seraph. I asked the Lord if I may come down to Earth to help two people have the child they so desperately wanted, and he allowed me to as long as I knew it would be difficult. My name is Salael. Just as well I should state I was (is?) under the jurisdiction of That Monotheistic God, but am a practicing pagan devoted to several other deities and have entirely divorced myself from my Christian upbringing save for undoing my baptism (I came very close and even started but began to panic at the possibility of cutting myself off from such a core part of me).

I've also come to understand that in a life not too long ago, possibly only a few years before my most recent birth, I walked these forests on hooves. I was a White-tailed deer. I also have a theory as to how I died and potentially who did it, but that is not for this post necessarily.

I have other blogs for my human lives on this planet and other lives in other universes, but I felt like these two were too different to include with either previous category. It felt wrong to include my incarnated angel side with my fictionkin or earthen lives content, because I neither consider myself "angelkin" nor do I feel like it belongs with a solely-reincarnation-based blog at all. This is a blog for all of my... Experiences (?) that don't fit easily with either.

So there it is! I hope you enjoy your stay here.

#intro #antlers #wings #mine