antiapathy-rawr

[antiapathy-rawr]

I searched for love my entire life. I know it to be as i’ve learned it to be. Love is pain it is heart ache but it is also the missing piece you just couldn’t place. Love is the galaxy but the it’s still full of pain. I needed love desperately yet as i grew and found what i thought i needed and it brought back to me overwhelming heart ache. I never really found what i seeked up until now. Yet i think even if this love i feel growing in my heart we’re to hurt me as well ld still believe in the very thing that brought me to my lowest again. Call me a well of never ending hope for the love i seek and wish for others. I will always sadly love endlessly.

Written by:XFLOW

#short poem #female poets #original poem #poetsandwriters #my poetry #poetic #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry

[antiapathy-rawr]

so i came out to my aunt the other day. i hadn’t realized that i never really told her i was pan. so it basically went like this.

Me:Where should i get my nose ring here or here(basically wanted to know if i should get a septum or regular piercing)

Aunt ty: You like girls?

Me: Well yea aunt ty i do but i’m really confused on where i should get it

Aunt ty: oh my gosh.

My mom: i think regular is fine

yea so then my aunt said she wanted to talk to my mom for a bit more. i think i shocked her. the point of this was to say i didn’t even think about saying it i just said it. I was completely comfortable with saying i was into girls and i’ve never really had that before and it just made me really fucking happy because i spent a lot of time not telling people(family) and i was just in a really homophobic environment and that felt very freeing in a way. Also to all my people out there you can’t come out to their family it gets better i promise.

#pansexual #thanks for coming to my ted talk #coming out #happyday #i hope everyones having a good day/night! #lgbtq #lbgtqpride

[antiapathy-rawr]

The separation provided makes me feel flush and divided. Away from my other half i feel alone again at last. I can’t keep losing the best parts of me. Soon my heart will only open with a key. Please take me from my confines and help me up so i can rise. Rise away from the world as i know and go to my beyond and see if there i shall grow. A world that failed what was my soul is now what i want to change. A heartless person the last thing i need around but please i will love you so you will feel better days. I am not a bar but i will make you whole. And yes they are allowed to go yet please stay for another drink it’s on the house i just don’t want to let you out.

WRITTEN BY:XFlow

#female poets #original poem #my poetry #poetic #poem #poems on tumblr #spilled writing #spilled poetry

[antiapathy-rawr]

Shell

i am a shell with a mirror. I am a bitter reflection of what i didn’t think i was destined. A piece of a puzzle to never have been used. A distant thought in the minds of others. I am what people think about last and still forget me. I am what no one wants to ever be. A shell. A mere thought of death sometimes brings me ecstasy. A solution to escape what my life was fated to be. A way to escape the pain brought onto me. I am a shell. I have lost my soul and will lose it again once i have found it. I am on multiple paths in my mind. I’m back to always crying. I am a shell of merely the image of what i gave other people as a peace offering. I am what everyone thinks of me. yet inside i am simply empty. Nothing left for anyone to see i guess you could say i’m broken glass bad luck simply surrounds me. Or maybe i’m a black cat always causing mischief. Yet i know i am a shell with nothing left to hope. An idea someone never finished thinking. I am lost and forgotten. I am unwritten and undetermined. I’ve lost passion yet i have a sort of fire inside me. It’s the rage and anger blazing. What’s left of my heart is tar and hard. I am cold to everyone who knows me because i am a shell. I have left all the images of me to be for them and i keep my personality for me. I am alone because i shut them out and live my life accordingly. I am a shell and no one will ever crack me because i’m a thought left unthought, a memory long forgotten, a symbol of nothing, a soul that wanders aimlessly, and empty.

WRITTEN BY:X Flow

#poetic #original poem #spilled poetry #spilled emotions #spilled writing #spilled thoughts #poems on tumblr #female poets #my poetry

[antiapathy-rawr]

Love being my cryptonite i find it strange to be so drawn to it. It may end my life yet my soul is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. My little poison in the bottle. An obsession i simply couldn’t let go of. The end of my straws. A simple loss of the soul cures the problem which is why i let mine go. Love no longer has space in my being. For my peace I am willing to spend my life alone.

written by: X Flow

[antiapathy-rawr]

i am wilted. petals lost in the wind. i have lost my beam of light and long forgotten my happy water. long and lost almost dead to the world. clouds constantly surrounding my gloomy. i stay in wait hoping the sun will come back one day.

Written by:X Flow

#poetry #poem #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled poetry

[antiapathy-rawr]

FLOWER CHILD

I find peace in flowers and I love the sky

The clouds molding and flowing together is what I want inside

I love the smell of the flowers and each petal so delicate

They remind me of my heart with each layer comes a new skin

Oh the waves of the sky a path they don’t even know

Gosh they were always gorgeous in my mind

But with beauty comes a flaw

The horrible color when the flower dies the scent is far gone

The angry pain when it’s about to rain in the night and day sky

I love nature it sits with me but when things die it hurts me as well

A flower child to heart a hippie if you will but without the hallucinogens

#hippyvibes #flower child #original poem #poetic #spilled poetry

[antiapathy-rawr]

I miss the clueless bubble from being in love

The bliss in the ignorance it provided

Being blind yet I could feel the sun

I miss it all

The love and kisses

The thought I could really have been in love

It amazes me the mere idea is funny

Me the dark soul full of bright light

Inhabiting a body worth nothing to me

A mess of a personality

I find it wonderful

It gives me hope that all people should have it with them

[antiapathy-rawr]

I am alone in a world with billions of people. I celebrate me and everyone else. I am silent in my non welcome environments. I speak to be heard yet am always ignored. I am trying to be the voice for me and others who don’t have the voice to speak. Hear our cries we are alone and need a hand. No more lies.

#original poem #poetic #spilled poetry #poetry #poetsandwriters #poets on tumblr

[antiapathy-rawr]

Who I am

I feel like I’m not seen or heard. I wrote things so someone can hear me. I draw so someone can know how I feel. I pour my emotions into a cup and offer it to the world. I freely express when I can, yet in this damn place no one really knows who I am. I am the girl too shy to speak but I’m also the girl first to talk. I am the girl with insecurities up to her knees. But I also feel confident just being me. I’m the girl who hurts herself when the time is right but I refuse to see anyone do the same nor will I allow someone to hurt me. I’m the chaos in the morning and the calm in the night. I’m a mess of different things. I’m the pansexual girl afraid to come out to her family. I’m the girl who cries in the tub. See I know who I am and warn those who want to. I’m not mean nor self centered I just want to be heard and for maybe someone to listen. I jump so quickly to please. I leap to attachment then later my trust issues worsen due to it being the wrong person. I am me and that’s all I can be yet no one knows fully who I am just the persona they keep for me. Someone who died long ago.

#unknown #spilled emotions #spilled writing

[antiapathy-rawr]

I think I’m bitter. I put up guards to protect what’s left of my broken heart. I’m not sure it had a chance from the start. Yet I blame no one but myself for the pain I may have caused or felt. I find it very neat the holes that run so deep. All put up in a line each one bigger or smaller than the next. Deep voids of regrets. I’d never change a thing without the mistakes I simply wouldn’t be me. I would be who I was now and although I’m unhappy I’m not always down. Some would say I was a clown because of the way people laugh when I’m around but no not from jokes just from my looks or face.

#spilled writing #spilled poetry #dark mind

[antiapathy-rawr]

Love

I was so in love with the idea of true love even though I knew it wasn’t real. I thought to simply think of someone all the time and feel your heart skip beats just at the thought of them or their presence was a type of thing that only happened once. I do still believe in true love I sadly may never stop. Yet if my theory is right I’ve already had that love and will never have it again and that hurts me. That love was the type of love I would have killed to have.

#spilled thoughts #spilled emotions #spilled writing #rant #words words words

[antiapathy-rawr]

These are just beautiful 

Art by Nkjuls

[antiapathy-rawr]

After being in love but the once I could never want to do it again. It was addictive I craved them so much through my day when we started growing apart it was hard everyday. The end of it all almost broke me entirely. I was numbing to my emotions until it poured out of me like a leaky faucet. I still love them and yes I know that may sound bad but I’m not in love with them cause it almost drove me mad. The constant worry then the pain. Love is a dangerous game that I truly could no longer play.

#original poem #poetic #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #poetry #spilled writing #spilled emotions

[antiapathy-rawr]

I think it’s the eyes

They are the key to the soul

I always look at the eyes

You know once I saw eyes I just couldn’t think to look away from. It was honestly the biggest mistake I could have ever made because those eyes were attached to someone who brought me the greatest love and caused me horrible pain. Those eyes if I ever saw them again could kill me. Those perfectly dark eyes to the perfectly imperfect person I let into my heart for it to only be hurt worse than before. A mistake I don’t regret but a mistake none the less.

#spilled writing #spilled thoughts #spilled emotions

[antiapathy-rawr]

Even in my brightest hour I still manage to find myself lost in the dark. When I’m happy my heart is full of sparks and when i’m sad my heart feels as though it stopped. I’m what people cal crazy in what we assume to be a normal society but I rather be told I’m out of the box. I go beyond normality and venture into an outside thought. I’m different which I never ever thought was something wrong. The normal people who can live and breathe through the day are the ones I find strange. I guess my normality is different from others and I don’t judge the ideas of others but to me nothing is ever as normal as you might think.

#spilled writing #spilled thoughts #poetic #not sure what it is #not sure where i was going with this #not sure what that says about me

[antiapathy-rawr]

Life is a box of nothing wrapped with a pretty bow

A treasure chest full of air your almost died to have

It’s a promise of something you never knew yet right before you get it your heart is snatched from you

Life is the last piece of hope in the box

Life is the color black in every interpretation

Happy isn’t a thought when I think of life but rather I think pain

My mind travels to the crippling fear it brings

I think of your flesh losing its color

I think of the immense pain it puts you through and I couldn’t want to save you more

#spilled emotions #spilled writing #writers on tumblr #spilled thoughts