34. Married. Bisexual. Vegan. 🌱 Lover of all things fantasy, nature, or beautiful. I write fanfics on occasion, and I enjoy many fandoms. ⭐️ Masterlists: Theseus Scamander | Redmayne Characters | Other Fandoms | Newt Scamander
I'm actually crying this time. He was my favorite, most treasured bassist and member of a Jrock group. He was my entire teenage years and graced the binders I made ha...I can't believe this. He was so young still, and his birthday is next month. I don't want this to be real but I know it is and I just can't comprehend any of it. Gods--my heart is broken, for him, his family and members...just all of us fans. He was amazing, and was hilarious and sweet and talented and I just can't. I wish I could bring you back, Reita.
I've been having trouble making a new character because I'm making them super main character lol I feel ridiculous and I keep changing things because I don't wanna be a dork. Help
I mean, if this is for Bg3, do whatever. If this was the tabletop, group sort of game you were making one for, yeah, be a bit more subtle lol because your decision affects others, but this is a game for you, doing it solo. Be as main character-y as you want, that's the fun of it. No one can judge you or make you feel bad for being overpowered, or cliche, etc. That's the fun of RPG's with character creation, we go solo and can play as whatever we want with mods, RP-ing and the like. :) So don't feel like a dork, it's fun being the main character lol
So I'm using 2 modded classes: Sea-Forged and a Warlock Subclass called the fathomless. My dude, Kaladin, is a pirate/smuggler of sorts but a good man. He was shipwrecked in my HC of him, and was offered life in return for his loyalty to some old sea God/entity, hence his Warlock side. Lol Those two classes seemed to fit and I am loving the sea-forged one a lot! Especially since it also gives musical proficiency.
I feel awful saying this but do you ever just get tired of everything being a social issue or what not? Sometimes I just want to enjoy being online for the fun and relaxation of it but I feel like an ass if I ignore politics or social issues
All. The. Time. Lol Don't feel bad, especially for those of us with jobs that are tiring, demanding, etc. I love my job, but at the end of the day, I just want to play/get online or watch TV and relax. I don't wanna be depressed by news, I don't need someone demanding I give my attention to world issues every second of every day I have of free time, and sometimes I just want to enjoy a fandom without it becoming an argument about some social/political issue....it's tiring, we can be honest about that. Doesn't mean you don't care. it just means your free time is your free time, and if you want to turn your brain off to enjoy it, by all means. There's more than enough time to dedicate to caring, but it doesn't need to be all 24 hrs of a day. Or even a week! Life is hard and short, realistically speaking. To expect someone to never simply enjoy their time for themselves is ridiculous.
I can't find a straight answer anywhere but if I deny Astarion sex, will I be locked from continuing thr romance?
So long as you sleep with him once in Act 1, you're good. I usually reject his first advance, so if you do, you're still good if that's what you're concerned with. So long as you don't reject his advance at the party, then you won't be locked out.
Fun point, rejecting him the first time gives you the chance to have all dialogue moments with him. If you sleep with him the first time, you miss out on the party dialogue about the bad wine, and you get the pick up lines one instead. But reject him, and you get all of them. He'll still proposition you a second time after the party and you'll get the pick up lines one! So I recommend that, personally.
Will you write Astarion fanfics? I've been waiting actually hehe I know you had like 2 but more????
That's very sweet of you! I'm flattered, and I would love to...I'm just lazy lately. I haven't written for any of my Fandoms. I don't even really read fics lately either (I'm very picky though...to a fault I'm sure) and if I do write or read, it's male tav I'm into with him, so if you're hoping for female, unfortunately that doesn't capture my interest :(
I just came to prefer it. The first playthrough I was a woman, and it was fun but I don't know, just felt...no chemistry haha I figured I'd give a male a shot, since I rarely create males in these types of games, and I ended up loving it and I guess my Tav's personality felt more natural with the game to me. Also, I like the idea of being able to be Astarion's soft top...don't judge me. I wanna baby the man as a muscular man 🥹
Honestly, this one really stings. I'm not crying but something about it breaks my damn heart. He made so many childhoods, DBZ is what got me into anime. Fuck
Akira Toriyama has passed away...
May he rest in peace.
Thank you so much, sir. For everything.
I wanna hug this post, OP. Such great points with no animosity towards varying opinions. Because same, someone paid for the game, play it as you will but I am seeing plenty fans trying to adamantly make him a certain way that makes no sense. Always to each their own, but I think some get so caught up in their own interpretations they don't allow for others and act like it's meant as offense towards them. It isn't.
Look, I have traumas like Astarion, so yes I'll see his dialogue my own way based off my own experiences, so it irks me when I see fans try the "He laughed it off, so he's obviously fine with it." No. Just no. That is not the only answer for that or interpretation. People with traumas like this, obviously it varies but my point is this is why you can't just say the laugh is a yes, will often play things off because it's easier. I can attest to that, and it sucks and I will admit I'm still struggling over a decade later. I love my husband, he's safe and understanding but there are times I've had sex with him when I don't want to (he doesn't know this or ever forced me) because I'll revert back to that mentality of "I have to, I just have to" because to me that's how I keep people, that's what I'm good for, that's all anyone needs from me." People who haven't gone through sex abuse will never know how fucking easy it is to say yes. Yes means safety in the grossest ways, but its sometimes so much easier than 'No'. I can spin it a thousand ways, but the truth is: I don't want to do this. So for me, yeah, yeah I don't have an interest in poly personally but if that's all you think his laugh and confirmation mean or can mean, then you're wrong. There are many ways for someone to take that dialogue, and for me it meant exactly what I do to make myself cope.
In light of the new astarion voice lines in reaction to mizora, I think we finally need to put to rest the whole monogamous vs polyam astarion discourse. Here's the thing. Polyamory is never explicitly discussed or negotiated at any point during the astarion romance. You get individual instances of astarion being okay with various things, like a one night stand with the drows or halsin. It's unclear in the coversation about halsin if he's agreeing to a one night stand or a three-way relationship deal, he just gives you a general go ahead to do whatever you want with halsin because he trusts you. But then halsin doesn't stick around at the end of the game, and by the time he leaves he's only ever been with astarion in the context of the drow orgy (which is optional), and only sexually. Halsin is only interested romantically in the player char from what we're shown. Everyone is free to headcanon otherwise or write whatever fics they want, but as long as we're arguing about canon we have to be very specific. Nothing about any of the conversations with astarion suggest polyamory. They might have suggested a sort of open relationship situation before, but now with mizora, we have proof that there was no negotiation or blanket consent given off screen for having sex with other people, and in fact, it hurts astarion deeply to see his partner engage in sex with someone else.
Now, you can argue it's because he didn't consent to it beforehand, fair enough. Let's walk through what that conversation could've looked like, shall we? If you'd have asked him if you can sleep with mizora, he could've either said yes or no, it's pretty straightforward. From how upset he is, and the fact that he doesn't bring up you not getting his approval beforehand, we can infer his answer would've been "no" (because if he would've said yes anyway, you would get the type of reaction you get with ascended astarion, a "next time invite me" type response). So then, why would astarion say no to mizora specifically, if asked? After all, he's presumably okay with meaningless sex, even when he's not involved, because he lets you sleep with one of the drows all by yourself. And presumably he's also okay with it when feelings are involved, if he's truly okay with the halsin arrangement. So what part of sleeping with mizora is different? Why would he suddenly disagree with it if he was previously okay with similar arrangements?
Here's the thing. Astarion says yes to things out of pressure. Obviously he tells you so himself in act 2, "i didn't know how to say no", and that's corroborated by his dead expression during the drow 4/5some. He says yes to things, hates them, and then depending on how violated he feels afterwards, he decides whether or not it's a forgivable transgression on the part of his partner. He HAS to do it after the fact, because prior to it, he doesn't know how he will feel, he doesn't know if something specific is going to be the thing that tips him over. When he says "i didn't know how to say no" in act 2, it's not just that he instantly knew he didn't want to have sex with tav and went along anyway, it's also that he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, and maybe mistakenly believed he could put up with it, until he actually did it. With the drows, the only difference is that he does put up with it, by dissociating. For astarion, something is either too much, or something he can tune out and deal with. He never expresses any "mild" discomfort that you can talk to him about, except for when he's anxious you want to have sex with halsin because he doesn't put out. And even then, there's nothing you can say that will make him disapprove of the halsin thing, short of completely breaking up with him. He voices an insecurity, sure, but even when told that insecurity is legitimate, he still agrees to the halsin situation.
This is why I need everyone to understand, there is no polyam negotiation with astarion, he blanket accepts everything until he snaps, because that's what trauma victims do. I'm not saying this out of a desire to prove astarion is monogamous, either. If the game showed healthy communication about this I wouldn't be here arguing about any of this. Polyamory is valid and can be done in a healthy way, but what you have in the game is not a representation of polyamory, it's a representation of a trauma victim not knowing his own limits and chugging full speed ahead until he snaps. The mizora exchange just cements that further. The roll you have to pass to get him to stay with you isn't "let's discuss boundaries, i didn't know this wasn't allowed", it's "this didn't mean anything". If this man was already okay with meaningless sex on the side, why would you need to convince him of it? All you're doing is manipulating him, and the result of that manipulation isn't even "okay, you can have meaningless sex from now on as long as we talk beforehand", instead, he says he forgives you. There's no implication that this could happen again, if only you have his consent, he just forgives you for this one transgression and agrees to move on. And let me be perfectly clear, I've shipped polyam ships before, I don't have an inherent bias against it. But we all, collectively as a fandom, need to learn to read the room. The signs of discomfort are all there, it doesn't help anyone if we put on horse blinders and ignore them. My only desire is to see astarion interpreted faithfully, not to start or contribute to a war people seem to be having about the validity of polyamory in general or in real life.
So, in conclusion, we need to separate headcanons from canon. Canon is, at best, unclear on what Astarion is comfortable with. It helps no one to act like this is a clear cut issue on either side, but imo it's more harmful to potentially force him into situations he's uncomfortable with than to just let him lead, since he doesn't propose any of these arrangements himself, and never does them for his benefit, only his partner's.
And one last thing. This is not to say "don't do these things because they're bad". They're in the game so you can do them and roleplay however you want. However, we need to be realistic about the kind of characters we're playing. If your tav pressures astarion into these various situations, that's not a good-aligned tav, and that's okay, as long as you're not pretending otherwise. I love an evil durge playthrough as much as the next person, but none of it would be cathartic or fun if the whole time I was under the impression that murder is actually fine and good.