amestilskin

[amestilskin]

being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five

[amestilskin]

Writing Prompt #2671

"I thought you would miss me."

"Yeah, no, I don't miss being talked down to and yelled at. I've learned I deserve better than that."

[amestilskin]

If it seems obvious to you that I misunderstood something, please point out to me that I misunderstood.

I'm still trying to learn how to communicate properly. I haven't been in therapy for months, so it's harder to do it on my own (and it was hard with guidance).

I have unmedicated ADHD. Doing this shit is harder than a neurotypical can imagine.

Yoda's phrase doesn't help me in the slightest.

Sorry Yoda.

I haven't been medicated in 15 years.

I'm struggling.

"Don't try to communicate, you need to just do it."

For the love of God, be in my head for a day. A week! My head is noisy. I've got TV static, music, critics, repetitive memories, repetitive phrases, anime titles on repeat, quotes on repeat, belittling phrases said by others on repeat.

Have I mentioned before that I have an anxiety disorder?

Yes, I have.

This is exhausting.

Going back to watching videos on how to be a better manager.

#delete later #vent

[amestilskin]

Lock screen has been like that for awhile, but decided to change my home screen.

Why is Roxton fanart so hard to find?

#neopets #kanrik #roxton a colchester iii #neotag #lock screen #home screen #side blog

[amestilskin]

Either I'm gonna get have a stiff drink when I get home,

Or I'm gonna have a break down.

I'll find out when I get there. 🙃

#delete later #stressed #vent #pissed off

[amestilskin]

I know I don't post much, but I will be posting even less due to upcoming training (most of which is online. About 48+ hours worth).

I'm going to refer to this training as cram school because that's basically what it is. I have to do all of this online training to do a 4-day in-person training.

In-person training isn't until next month.

Wish me luck! I've been waiting almost a year for this training.

#delete later #work

[amestilskin]

Finally hung up my paintings!

#my art #paintings #glow in the dark

[amestilskin]

Carry Me Down (Resurrected) by Demon Hunter.

I already love the song, why'd they go and make it better?!

Lol

#delete later #ramble #music

[amestilskin]

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

[amestilskin]

[amestilskin]

Ring of Fire in Cloudy Skies © Bryan Minear

[amestilskin]

Dishes are caught up, laundry is folded and put away...

I guess I'm mentally doing better.

#delete later #mental health

[amestilskin]

Do you ever have dreams that feel so real, yet so out of character, that it throws you off for the entire day? Like, you know it didn't happen, but a part of you believes it did?

#delete later #dreams

[amestilskin]

Easter.

I will be offline on all social media this coming Sunday. I had completely forgotten about the holiday, and now my anxiety has spiked. I don't have a good association with the holiday, although I've tried making it better by having my dog search for Easter eggs (I know it sounds silly, but I enjoy her eagerness).

I am shaking. I don't really know why, but I am shaking.

#delete later

[amestilskin]

#neopets #neotag #neopet plushies #gelert

[amestilskin]

Apple, strawberry and keylime.

[amestilskin]