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amareiboosh · 2 months
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Being overstimulated is such a weird thing to explain to people. Like "hey sorry, I'm not mad at you and this is nobody's fault and I'm not blaming anyone for it happening, I am aware this is a part of regular everyday life but I am mentally crumbling because There Have Been Things Happening nonstop for 5 hours straight back to back with no breaks, and I really need to sit down in complete silence for like 15-25 minutes, after which I will be completely fine and can proceed as normal. But if I'm not allowed to have that, I will resort to violence."
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amareiboosh · 2 months
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I miss being with someone who accepts me
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amareiboosh · 2 months
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When will it be my turn, for someone to look after me?
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amareiboosh · 3 months
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It's not an easy year but we made it through. I'm so proud of us💕
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amareiboosh · 3 months
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amareiboosh · 3 months
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It's too much to ask to be allowed to feel things, I'm expecting too much by wanting empathetic responses all the time and validation, I'm demanding and high maintenance, I'm asking too much all the time, my existence is asking too much.
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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6 days later, back in the same place.
I tried all day to stop the day from being ruined. I tried stopping the argument before it started, I tried acknowledging while saying I don't hold the same opinion, I tried responding to the concerns with practical change, I tried carrying on somewhat like normal, I tried sitting with and comforting and reassuring, I tried apologising
I tried I tried I tried.
For what? Probable migraine as usual. Sleeping in different beds. Nastiness and misery all day.
Why am I bothering? I feel like I'm trying so hard but really the only way to not have this happen is if I shut up and submit, there is no way of holding different opinions and being okay in this household. Everything is okay until I do something he doesn't agree with or I say something wrong. I can't physically do everything 'right' all the time.
I'm so tired. I feel like I'm in an unhealthy relationship. K used to call him abusive sometimes. They used to fight constantly. C and I rarely fought over the past few years. Am I the problem? I really don't know. I was really trying today to fix things, resolve things, make things better..
Not trying hard enough I guess.
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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Well that's a mixed bag 😂
someones probably already done this but
put in the tags the first thing that comes up when you type:
a
b
c
d
i'll go first
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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Images that you would probably not see again @thoughtstherapy
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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I'm tired of feeling tired
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amareiboosh · 4 months
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amareiboosh · 5 months
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Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List
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amareiboosh · 5 months
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If I could remove myself and make you happy, I would.
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amareiboosh · 6 months
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I'm not doing a very good job of being a good girlfriend right now. Nor am I doing a good job of being the caring role which I do for work and have considered myself to do at home too. Honestly, I'm not doing a good job of anything.
I'm trying to think about trauma, noticing, recognition.. but then I get upset because I don't feel like I receive any support, recognition, acceptance, awareness.. help. And then that makes me angry for not getting what I need and guilty for needing what I'm not getting and for getting angry about it.
I've had a headache for 4 days. A mind numbing, at times totally unbearable headache. And I know he's struggling, I know it's hard to lose your job and not know what's next. But it's also hard to have a headache for 4 days, to be denied your house move over and over again, to feel nauseous all the time, to feel continually like your partner doesn't love or want you because of the way he doesn't hold you when you need it.
And maybe he feels the same.. He'll be moving into the house too and while I'm in pain I'm not holding him either.. But I'm forever saying how hard it is to not feel wanted or loved and he doesn't try to fight back against that feeling at all and I'm just so alone. I feel worthless.
I can't show myself compassion because I'm obviously not deserving of it or I would get some from him. How do I get myself out of this cycle without love from anywhere?
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