alyssaallyrion

[alyssaallyrion]

So... I managed to write my first songfic on NejiHina today (before going to work). It was just that I've got inspiration after reading another very good (and angsty) good one, so I had to write it. A few details on it:

This diverges from my main AU, but is like an alternative ending version of it, so the development is very similar.

The introductory lines are inspired by 'I love you' - Billie Eilish, but this is not that song's fic, for that I'll use for a couple moments in my main AU.

This is a bit of a stretch, but do is inspired by the song I'll name.

I'm not considering any religion references of the song and I'm taking it as purely metaphorical. This has nothing to do with religion or religious characters.

This was written in a single afternoon, so please, consider it while reading. It's also my first posted fic (I've written already for my giant alternative ending but I won't post any of it 'till I finish).

English is not my native language. I tried to write in as proper grammar and sense as I could, but it can be flawed.

The dialogue part is a bit awkward. I'm not good at writing that, I'm better at describing feelings than at addressing them directly.

If you don't like NejiHina or at least have some respect for it, don't read it at all, keep going, I'm not craving for fights.

So... Here it goes.

My sweetest downfall

NejiHina fic.

Song: 'Samson' by Regina Spektor.

This can't be. No, this have to be a lie. A genjutsu, perhaps? She activated her Byakugan but saw no abnormality on her chakra. What kind of jutsu was this? Because, if this was no jutsu, then what kind of reality, monstrous reality, was she in?

Her heart stopped beating in a sense, but it was his that stopped. Why?! Why now?! Why here?! After all they went through, when she finally understood, when he finally reached up to her, when they finally would... Now they wouldn't.

There was no happy ending, there was no future, so as life was the cruelest thing one could imagine.

That same life that just yesterday gave her all ever possible happiness, and today was drawing her in the deepest and most devastating pain. That same life that doomed him 'till his end, that was forever so unfair with such a precious existence. He could never had a single thing he wanted. He was vanishing in front of her, he was losing his life as her tears fell, he was smiling at her with so love filled eyes, even at the most burning pain, even at the darkest moments when all light of life abandons you, even in the edge of death.

He was smiling.

He was smiling as well the day they met. His hair was long and beautiful, she recalled, but it was his smile that made her trust. After the formalities, they were led to the main room where the elder and her father took him in, along two elder ladies that were well known for healing the clan members when in need. She was forbidden to enter, and yet at 3 years old she knew barely nothing, she had a doom sensation in her chest. As if she knew it all. When his screams were heard, 2 hours later, she desperately tried to drag the door open and reach him, but her little and weak body got her nothing. She heard her father's voice and then, he started to cry. Why was his father crying? She had never heard or seen him do such a thing.

-It has to be done, Hiashi. - The elder said, emotionless. -You must be strong, as you are the head of the clan. How are you supposed to protect the clan if you are not able to mark this child? It makes no difference that he is Hizashi's son.

Hinata stood on that cold door until her nanny got her to bed, after she fell asleep wishing the door would open and she could make sure he was ok. She had only met him this morning, but something about him made her feel like she had always known him, not from before, after all she was only 3 and he was 4, such was not a long life. It felt as she knew him for an eternity, for uncountable previous lifes. And of course, the sensation was so strong that she could not understand, given how young she was.

Even now, as she stood in front of his dying body, she still couldn't.

But now, in her memory, the years went by and she was a 12 year old teenager, afraid of life. Her father dismissed her, her sister looked down on her, and yet, none of that made her hold herself in pain as much as the fact that he hated her. When she first noticed, her heart froze. He, that after the terrible times of her third birthday, run the next morning with a bright smile on his face to her, a flower in his hand.

-Hinata-sama, father and I were invited to your training practice today. I'm so happy 'cause I'm allowed to see you. -His words were chosen as if it was an adult speaking, but the serious tone on those words coming out on his childish voice made them all even more adorable. -Here, I brought you a gift -His smile grew even larger as he offered her a single white Lily his father helped him pack this morning.

The two adults entered the dojo first, so Hinata was left out with that child.

She wasn't excited at all. Her father always said that her moves were weak, but this child in front of her was vowing to make her stronger. He went as far as to say that he would give his life for her. And he did. Little did she knew back then that he was feeling the same pull, the same sensation of knowing her from multiple past lifes.

But when, as teenagers, they were matched against each other, his eyes reflected none of the love and tenderness he did then. His face had no smile, as he had not smiled ever at her since that day he came to see her training. As she stood in front of him, trying to held herself with dignity, he tried to diminish her until the point of breaking. She thought she saw the tiniest spark of fear in his eyes as she passed his face as she fell to the ground, after the fatal attack. For a second, yes, for a brief second, he seemed to love her still. But she held no hope. All these years she had been loving him and yet being torn apart from him more and more had left a mark on her heart, and she held no more hope of him coming back. She even tried to move on, and she almost did when she met a certain noisy blonde that would never give up. She admired his courage first, then, his fussiness numbed the pain and felt like a warm touch of the sun to the coldness in her heart. And she thought she could love him. No, she was sure she must had been loving him already. But it was not the same. She felt easy and tranquil on his presence, even happy, but she never felt as if life itself was pulling her to him, as if he sustained her the way gravity sustains all things on earth.

Time went by, and against all odds, the sweetest child she ever met came back. Yet he was no longer a child. His face had the serenity of the wisdom only a long life gives you, which suited perfectly his beautiful, almost ethereal facial features, the tall and straight nose, the big eyes that seemed to be looking at a world from afar, the rounded lips that were always resting in an indescriptible seriousness, but that would smile for her (and only for her) every once in a while. He was a lot taller than her by now, and his shoulders were almost twice as wide than hers. His hair was long and luscious brown silk. His hair was long, as when they met. It was always long.

When the hatred on his eyes was gone, he came to her and told her he would fulfill his promise, and so, he spent 3 long years training with her. It was hard for his teammates to understand at first, why was him rejecting them to spend his time and training with her? Her own friends thought it was weird as well, and they didn't trust him after he almost kills her once. His teacher, nevertheless, encouraged her even more than he praised him, for they would spend their youths in such a marvelous way. Her teacher just silently understood. And soon, they all did as well.

At some point she failed to point out on those three years, his eyes were filled with love again. She couldn't tell when the exact moment was, but the day she realised it, she knew deep down, for sure, that he was her sweetest downfall.

And as she was overjoyed to have him back, even if he was never going to say it, her feelings towards that blonde boy turned in the greatest and most eternal gratitude, for he was the one that brought them back together. So when the war came, Hinata was ready to make her best effort to protect him, to give her life even, since she could have happiness again thanks to him. For she could have his love again, thanks to Naruto.

But war was evil and cruel, and much darker than she could ever have imagined. Every day was a torture thinking who could be the next one to fall. Only one person could never fall, as for Hinata never knew someone as strong or as smart as him. He was invincible on her mind.

After several days of war, all feelings and resolutions can change, and though he had promised himself of never speaking of his love for he was not deserving, the immense pull he felt since the very first moment he laid his eyes on her when he was 4 years old was getting stronger and stronger, to an unbearable degree. The night approached and he knew she was going to be on her tent. So close yet so far. He spent a good couple of hours debating himself, trying to repell the urge, but there was nothing to do against the fated force that love was. And this was a fate he didn't want to fight anymore. So he entered the tent and found her wide awake, tears rolling down her cheeks. He kneeled immediately to wipe her sweet tears and whisper some counseling words impregnated with the love of his voice, that he was not yet ready to speak of.

-Neji-niisan... No, Neji... Please...-She said when she managed to stop the tears and to get out of her mind the thoughts of all the shinobis dying in front of her eyes.

-Hinata...what could I... -He tried, but she interrupted him.

-Your promises are the only thing I believe in Neji, you are the only one that could ease my heart... I'm sorry, I can't help but be this weak. I wish I could be like you, as strong and confident as you, with no weaknesses as you...

-I do... I have a weakness. The greatest and still sweetest weakness a man could ever have... Only if something happens to you, only because of you, and still, I won't be defeated until I know you are save because...

-Because I've loved you my whole life -She ended up for him, knowing the words on his heart for they were the same on hers. -Please, promise you'll always be with me. - She sobbed.

Then, as if something superior possessed them, Neji held her delicate face between his big hands and leaned to put on her lips the most tender, chaste kiss. Below the pale light of the moon, she cut a string of his perfect, silky long hair. She treasured that string of hair for the rest of her existence, as much as she treasured the memories of that night, the only night they ever had. After she carefully packed his hair on her amulet, he shortened the distance between them.

-Well done my love -He said.

And he kissed her tenderly, lovingly, sweetly and passionate all at the same time. His hands touching so lightly her skin as if she was the most delicate thing to ever exist. His lips found their way through her clavicle as his nose rose her neck inhalating her smell, drunk of her. And he kissed her all night non stop, rediscovering and enjoying her beauty and every cell of his body rejoiced on the victory of his love, he kissed her as if that night would never end, he kissed her until the yellow sun appeared and the clarity of day came.

They went to the battlefield the next morning feeling complete, for the first time in their lives.

But cruel fate decided that, this same day, they were to be torn apart. Her body instinctively turned to face him when her Byakugan spotted him getting in the way of those spikes to protect her. Her face contorted in pain as his blood stained her cheeks when he was pierced and the most heart wrecking scream fell out of her lips.

She fell on her knees, and her whole self felt numb. The time stopped, only the silence and darkness surrounded her as his life went away. As her own life went with him. What would life matter anyway? Her love for him was the first thing she ever really knew. She was devastated and furious, for life denied him every bit of happiness he could ever achieve.

Yet he smiled. With all the love he ever felt for her in his eyes, and eternal gratitude for the previous night he could finally have her, he smiled. He couldn't live to defy his destiny, he couldn't break that invisible force that leads all of our moves. His name would be forgotten, he was not going to be a hero that survived the horrors of war and led the world to salvation, no one was going to know who Neji Hyuga was or that he existed at all in a few decades. Still, he smiled. Hinata would never know, but Neji did, his smile was of pure and sincere happiness, for he have had it all.

[alyssaallyrion]

just saw a “only one bed” fic with the major character death warning

#I cannot even imagine what ship this would be #but I’d read this fic in a heartbeat lol

[alyssaallyrion]

One of my favorite moments related to Neji and Hinata is when they fought Zetsu back to back.💜☯️

#this is absolutely gorgeous #hinata and Neji make such a good team #and couple lol #NejiHina #neji #hinata

[alyssaallyrion]

[TEAM 8]

(with a slight redesign, I made them a bit older) 

Hinata and her handsome boys!

Keep reading

#this is so lovely #team 8 has the best friendship #hinata #kiba #shino

[alyssaallyrion]

Few things bring me more joy than embarrassing husband dearest by telling his friends that I like to write fanfiction.

#it’s his fault tho #should have just stuck to the bar with them or something not bring them over & distract me from writing

[alyssaallyrion]

Title: standing still in kaleidoscope

Rating: T

Ship: Neji/Hinata

Notes: Originally written for Hyuga Clan week, but life & covid got in the way, so editing took forever

ao3 link

*** Neji is four years old when he meets Hinata for the first time. She’s a tiny, delicate thing, hiding her face shyly in the sleeve of her father’s yukata.

“Meet your cousin Hinata, Neji,” his father says, “She’s your uncle Hiashi’s daughter.”

Hinata, still clutching her father’s sleeve, slowly lifts her head. Bright pink blush dusts her cheeks when their eyes finally meet, and Neji’s breath hitches in his throat.

“She’s so cute, father,” he murmurs, an unbidden warmth rising in his face.

“Don’t be shy,” Hiashi says, lightly nudging Hinata ahead, “You need to greet your cousin.”

Her steps are soft, almost unsure when she walks forward, but her back is straighter than the angle of a kunai as she bows to him.

“Good evening, Neji-onii-sama. I am happy to meet you,” she says.

She looks up at him and smiles bashfully, and, suddenly, Neji’s heart is racing, and it is as if the world spins around him. And though he doesn’t understand the feeling blooming in his chest, he cannot stop himself from smiling back at her.

“I am happy to meet you too, Hinata-san.”

*** Even at a young age, Neji knows he is special. His father proudly notes that Neji has the purest Byakugan in centuries and orders him to train tirelessly to make it even stronger. Clan techniques come easy to Neji – so much so that even his instructor, an old, dour man who had trained two generations of the Hyuga heirs and who, thus, was nigh impossible to impress, cannot stop praising him.

“He could be a shinobi within the year,” the instructor tells Hizashi after one of their training sessions, “If the Academy has kept to the old ways.”

Hizashi looks at Neji then and nods as a rare – and for that, all the more precious – smile spreads across his lips. Pride swells in Neji’s chest as he tries – and fails – to hide his own pleased smile. He lives to make his father proud.

*** One morning, he sees Hinata on the terrace overlooking the training yard, perched against a tall wooden pillar supporting the roof. Never the one to slack off during practice, Neji puts his all into the fight that day – and then some. His instructor is openly delighted, commending his quick mastery of the Vaccum Palm, and Neji knows he should be proud. Yet, somehow his instructor’s praise seems almost unimportant as soon as Hinata approaches him.

“That was amazing, Neji-onii-sama,” she says, smiling bashfully, “You are so strong.”

Her eyes are wide and full of wonder, and she’s looking at him as though he’s truly something special, and Neji’s heart flutters as pride swells in his chest, spreading through his body. His hands ache from exertion, and his knuckles may well bruise in the morning – but all that matters is that she’s smiling at him, soft and light.

“I…I could teach you if you want,” Neji offers hastily, realizing he’s been staring too long.

“Thank you, Neji-onii-sama,” Hinata replies,” But I have only started my Gentle fist training, so I am hardly a capable student.”  

“I see,” Neji says.

“But if you’ll allow it, I would love to come to see you train,” Hinata adds, blushing ever so slightly as she smiles at him, “Because I’ve never seen anything quite like it!”

It is then that Neji learns he cannot bring himself to refuse her.

*** True to her word, Hinata comes to watch him train every day – until one crisp winter morning, Neji notices her usual perch on the terrace is empty. He is distracted, stealing glances at the terrace at every opportunity, but to no avail - she never comes.

After training, Neji hardly has the patience to wait for his instructor to finish his critique. As soon as the old man is done, Neji rushes into the house and tracks down Hinata’s nursemaid.

“Hinata-san is receiving her seal today,” the woman explains to Neji, “She will have to rest a few days but do not worry, Neji-sama, you will see her before the week’s end.”

Neji freezes, color draining from his face. Hinata was a member of the branch family, yet, somehow, it never consciously occurred to Neji that one day she too would receive the Caged Bird seal. He had only seen the seal in action once, and the memory still churned his stomach. The thought of Hinata – his sweet, delicate Hinata – getting hurt like that makes Neji sick.

He cannot wait days to see her – he needs to know she is alright. Once the night falls, Neji slips out of his chambers and steals through the dimly lit halls of the compound to Hinata’s room. Outside her door, Neji glances around cautiously before stepping inside.

Hinata’s lying on her bed, seemingly asleep. Neji notices wrappings on her forehead, and when white moonlight streaming into the room through the uncurtained window touches her face, his heart clenches with worry. Her face is bloodless, paler than the pure white of her bandages – paler than the morning frost – and no person so ever be so.

He takes a soft step towards her and then another, and, suddenly, Hinata stirs in bed. Before Neji has a chance to think, she opens her eyes.

“Neji-onii-sama,” she murmurs, confused, her voice a little faint, “Is this a dream?”

“I’ve come to check on you,” Neji explains, shifting from foot to foot, unsure if he should approach her, “Your nursemaid had told me about the ceremony. Are you hurt?”

“I...I don’t remember,” Hinata frowns lightly, “I think I have fainted.” She looks at Neji and smiles softly at him, “But I am better now. Thank you for checking on me, Neji-onii-sama.”

“Thank goodness,” Neji responds, watching her carefully, “I was worried for you.”

Wrapped in her lavender coverlet, pale and exhausted, Hinata looks so small, so precious, and so vulnerable, and, at that moment, there is nothing Neji wants more than to protect her.

“I’m sorry I missed your training earlier,” Hinata says, pulling her coverlet closer about her, “Had I known earlier that I would receive the seal today, I would have warned you. But I promise I will be there in the morning.”

“You should rest,” Neji protests, “That can wait until you recover.”

“But I want to see you,” Hinata pouts, looking at him through her eyelashes, and, yet again, Neji finds himself unable to refuse her.

*** She’s back at her usual spot on the terrace every morning, and everything slowly falls back into place. If the mark on her forehead causes her any discomfort, Hinata never shows it, and Neji’s equal parts are relieved and worried, hoping that she isn’t hiding her pain to avoid worrying him.

They’ve taken to drinking tea on the terrace after his training sessions, and Neji finds himself looking forward to it every day.

“Here, Neji-onii-sama,” Hinata says, offering him a cup.

As he accepts the tea, his fingers brush against her ever so slightly, and his heart flutters as warmth rises in his cheeks.

“Thank you,” Neji says, quickly bringing the cup to his mouth in an attempt to hide his unbidden blush.

With a nod, Hinata picks up her cup from the tray. Neji watches as she holds it with both hands, staring blankly at the smooth surface of the tea, not taking a single sip. She’s still for a long moment, and Neji knows her well enough to tell that something’s bothering Hinata.

“My father had spoken to me earlier today about the role of the main and branch families,” she says, finally looking at Neji, “And I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Neji frowns, confused, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“He told me it’s the main family’s duty to lead and the branch family’s duty to protect. But how can I protect you, Neji-onii-sama?” Hinata continues, tears welling in her eyes, as she clenches her cup till her fingertips turn white, “You are so strong, and I am so weak. So I must apologize for being so useless!”

And then she’s bowing to him, her forehead pressed against the smooth boards of the terrace floor. Anger bristles in Neji’s chest, bright and sharp, and he almost tosses away his cup. Reaching forward, he firmly grips Hinata’s shoulders and lifts her in one swift motion.

“Never say that,” he says, his voice trembling with rage. Scared by his anger, Hinata tries to recoil, but his fingers dig tight into her upper arms.

“You are not useless,” he continues, his eyes finding Hinata’s, “And if you are weak now, I will train with you to make you stronger.”

“But Neji-onii-sama...” Hinata protests meekly, but Neji cuts her off.

“If you do as I say, one day you will be strong enough to protect anyone – even me,” Neji says forcefully, “Until that day, however, I will be the one protecting you.”

Hinata blinks at him slowly, wide-eyed and confused. “But what about the tradition? You can’t be protecting me...”

“All the more reason for you to get stronger faster,” Neji replies.

Hinata’s silent for a long moment as she looks at Neji. Then, slowly, a timid smile blooms on her lips. “Alright,” she says, “I’ll do my best to not disappoint you, onii-sama.”

*** They bury Hinata’s father on a cold winter morning.

Neji watches, helpless, as, standing by Hiashi’s open grave, Hinata clutches her nursemaid’s hand, endless tears streaming down her cheeks. Neji wants to console her, but his chest is tight with guilt – he had heard the hushed whispers floating around the compound.

As they lower Hiashi’s body into the grave, Hinata wipes her tears with his kimono sleeve. She leans forward, picks up a handful of frozen dirt, and tosses it on the coffin. She’s still, almost frozen in place as her father’s grave is filled with soil, but once the undertakers are finished, she runs.

And Neji cannot leave her alone, not like this – so he follows. He finds her in the small garden by the river – her favorite place in the compound - sitting on the ground by a large, barren oak tree, her knees pulled close to her chest, her face hidden in her hands. Her whole body shudders from her quiet sobs, and Neji’s heart breaks at the sight.

“Hinata,” Neji calls out softly as he slowly approaches her.

When she doesn’t respond, Neji walks up and crouches down in front of her.

“First mother died, and now father’s dead too...” Hinata stutters, her voice trembling with tears, “And I am all alone. What will I do?”

“You are not alone,” Neji says ardently.

Hinata doesn’t respond, only pulls her knees in closer when another heart-shattering sob wrecks her body, and Neji cannot bear it. Reaching over, he pulls gently yet firmly at Hinata’s hands, moving them away from her face, forcing her to look at him. Her wide, scared eyes are full of tears, her face is red from cold and rubbing, and Neji wants nothing more than to pull her close, to comfort her, but he doesn’t dare.

Instead, he repeats, “You are not alone – you have me.” Hinata blinks at him, confused, and Neji adds, “And I will never leave your side.”

For what feels like an eternity, Hinata looks him in the face without saying a word, as if searching for some answer only she knows, and Neji’s heart races in his chest – he desperately wants her to believe him.

“Promise?” she murmurs faintly.

“I swear,” Neji replies ardently, lightly squeezing her small, soft hands in his.

“I trust you, onii-sama,” Hinata nods, and Neji’s heart is in his throat. Having Hinata’s trust is a delicate and precious gift, and Neji would gladly give up his life to preserve it.

*** Neji and Hinata grow inseparable. They train together almost every morning and often drink tea on the terrace afterward. Neji enjoys meditating and always invites Hinata along, finding her quiet presence calming. In turn, Hinata frequently brings him to a little garden she cares for, and Neji tries his best to help out where he can.

On a starry spring evening, when they are sitting on a terrace together, drinking tea, Neji confides in Hinata that his father had hardly spoken a dozen words to him since the funeral.

“Hizashi-sama is grieving deeply,” Hinata comforts Neji, lightly putting her hand on top of his, “You should give it time.”

Neji stifles a sigh and nods. For weeks he’s been feeling that something had shifted imperceptibly in the way his father looked at him after his uncle’s death, but Neji cannot put the feeling into words. Sometimes, he wondered if it was just his imagination - after all, his father had always been rather withdrawn. Shaking his head, Neji chases away the thoughts.

“I suppose so,” Neji says before rising to his feet. Once standing, he reaches down to Hinata, grasps her forearm, and heaves her up, “We should get back to training.”

*** Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, and, yet, the invisible rift between Neji and his father never disappears. Ever obstinate and proud, Neji resolves that if he cannot win his father’s love back, he will at least have his respect by becoming the strongest member of the Hyuga clan. The thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but Neji refuses to dwell upon it, instead throwing himself into training with renewed ardor.

The academy exams feel like a child’s play compared to his grueling training regiment.

“I’ve spoken to the academy teachers, and while they all recognize that you are more than ready to become a shinobi, the Hokage had strictly forbidden anyone under the age of ten from graduating,” his instructor sighs when the results of entrance exams are released, “Fast-tracked graduations saved the village during the third war, but, it seems they are too good for it now.”

Listening to his instructor’s grumble, Neji only shrugs – if he must attend the academy, he will do just that.

Later that evening, Neji finds Hinata on the terrace, waiting for him with a small tray carrying a teapot and two cups by her side. When Hinata sees him, she smiles bright and unabashed.  

“Neji-onii-sama, congratulations!” she exclaims.

The way she looks at him makes Neji’s chest swell with pride as warmth rises in his cheeks, yet he doesn’t want to show it.

“Thank you,” he replies, approaching Hinata, “But the exam was very easy.”

“Everything is easy for you, onii-sama,” Hinata laughs, offering him a cup of tea, “Could it be any other way? After all, you are the strongest, most amazing person I know!”

Neji almost chokes on his tea as unbidden blush spills across his face. He had gotten used to being praised by others over the years, of course – yet, somehow, any time Hinata complimented him, it felt special.

“I have something for you,” Hinata continues, handing over a small parcel wrapped in soft fabric. When Neji opens it, he sees two shiny new kunai.

“I went to the weapons shop earlier, and when I saw them, I thought of you...” Hinata stutters, pink blush dusting her cheeks, “I know that our clan techniques make weapons unnecessary, but I heard they can be useful at the academy. I hope you like them, onii-sama.”

“I do,” Neji assures Hinata, and her blush deepens, “Thank you, Hinata-san. I’ll always keep them with me.”

*** No one is surprised when Neji graduates at the top of his class. Once a genin, he ends up on Maito Gai’s team. While the eccentricity of his sensei – and one of his teammates – often grates on Neji’s nerves, he’s secretly delighted as his sensei is one of the most well-regarded shinobi in the village.

The rift between Neji and his father grows wider every year, but Neji forbids himself from dwelling upon it, laser-focused on his goal to become the strongest Hyuga.

Hinata graduates from the academy the year after Neji, also with top marks. While training with him had undoubtedly made her strong, Neji thinks she doesn’t have the disposition for shinobi life. Still, as a branch house member, she has little choice in the matter.

To her credit, Hinata takes her circumstances in stride.

“Of course, I want to be a shinobi,” she tells Neji when he asks her once, “You are going to be a shinobi one day, Neji-onii-sama, and you are the most special person I know – of course, I want to be just like you.”

The memory of that conversation brings a blush to Neji’s face even years later. He’s never been easily flustered, yet something about Hinata always sent his heart racing and brought color to his face. Neji assures himself that it’s only because she’s important to him as a member of his family and tries his best to avoid dwelling upon it.

She’s my cousin – it’s only natural to feel protective over her, Neji thinks, attempting to justify his decision to confront Inuzuka and Aburame upon learning that they were assigned to Hinata’s team. After all, how else could he ensure they know to behave around her?

“What do you mean behave?” Kiba bristles instantly at Neji’s words, “Who do you think we are, some kind of monsters that would hurt Hinata for fun?”

“You should forgive him, Kiba,” Shino says, placing his hand firmly on Kiba’s shoulder, then turning to Neji. Dark glasses hide his eyes, making his expression unreadable, “Why? Because I don’t think he’s meant to offend us. He’s only here because he loves Hinata and cares for her well-being.”

The words catch Neji off-guard, knocking the air out of his lungs as a kaleidoscope of memories rushes through his mind. Could it be that he...?

No, of course not. What a folly... He only loves her like family – no more, no less. 

“Just treat her with kindness,” Neji says, looking first at Shino, then at Kiba, “And we will not have a problem.”

Neji tries his best to put the conversation out of his mind, to forget what Shino said. After all, what can he possibly understand? The boy knows all there’s to know about bugs – and nothing about people. And yet, for months, any time Neji looks upon Hinata, Shino’s words haunt him.

*** Neji is fourteen when he becomes a chunin – and only a day older when he finds out he’s been promoted to jonin. His father is openly delighted and offers Neji a rare, content smile when he announces that Neji should have a seat on the clan council from that day forward.

“It is a great honor to be offered a seat on the council at such a young age,” one of his father’s companions says.

Neji bows and offers words of gratitude, but his heart remains cold – though he had seemingly earned his father’s respect, the distance between them remained as vast as ever.

Later that night, Gai-sensei takes his team to dinner to celebrate Neji’s promotion, and Neji invites Hinata along. They run late, and by the time Neji and Hinata arrive at Yakiniku Q, Neji’s teammates are already there. Lee and Tenten took the left side of the booth, leaving the right one to Neji and Hinata while Gai-sensei sat at the head of the table.

“Finally, the man of the hour is here,” Gai-sensei smiles brightly as Neji and Hinata approach the group.

The booths at Yakiniku Q are notoriously small, and when Neji and Hinata settle in, her left side ends up pressed tightly against his right. Hinata feels soft and warm against him, and, sitting so close, Neji can smell the faint lavender of her shampoo, and his heart races.

“I’m so sorry, Neji-onii-sama,” Hinata murmurs, blushing lightly, “But there is nowhere to move. If you prefer, I could get a chair...”

“No, it’s alright,” Neji replies, trying to sound even toned as his heart flutters in his chest.

The evening passes in a flurry of laughter, lively conversation, and congratulatory toasts.

“I am so proud of you,” Neji, Gai-sensei says, raising his drink. He’s deep in his cups, and youthful tears stream freely down his cheeks, “Only my eternal rival had become a jonin at a younger age. I know you will go on to accomplish great things.”

“Thank you, Gai-sensei,” Neji replies, utterly distracted by the soft press of Hinata’s thigh against his leg.

After dinner, Neji and Hinata walk back to the compound. The summer evening is delightfully warm, with a soft flowery scent filling the air, and they decide to take a longer route home across the Naka river. On a small wooden bridge not too far from the compound, Hinata asks Neji to stop.

“It’s such a beautiful sunset today, onii-sama,” she says, smiling lightly at Neji, “It would be a shame to miss it.”

Neji nods, smiling back at her – he still could never bring himself to refuse Hinata. She leans against the bridge railing, resting her chin on her palm, and Neji follows suit. Hinata looks wistfully at the setting sun, but Neji cannot stop looking at her. She looks so beautiful in the soft glow of the dying light that his breath catches in his throat, and his mouth feels dry.

“You know,” Hinata says, still looking at the sun and smiling softly, “I always knew you were destined for great things. You really are something special, Neji-onii-sama.”

Warmth rises in his face, spilling bright blush across his cheeks, and Neji’s grateful that she’s so taken by the sunset.

“There is something I want you to have,” Hinata continues, turning to him. With one swift motion, she unclasps the small silver pendant she’s wearing and offers it to Neji, “This was my mother’s, and I have been told that she had given it to me for protection. Now I want it to guard you.”

Neji looks at the pendant in her outstretched palm and reaches forward, gently closing Hinata’s hand with his fingers.

“I cannot accept,” he says, looking her in the eyes, “It is your keepsake from your mother.”

“It was hers, but it is mine to give now,” Hinata protests, then adds, in a soft pleading tone, “Please, onii-sama. My heart will not rest unless I know it’s with you, keeping you safe on all those dangerous missions.”

Hinata glances at him through her eyelashes, and Neji feels his resolve crumble – he’s very strong, but still only a man.

“Very well,” he says, “If that is your wish.”

Hinata smiles her rich little rosebud smile, and Neji cannot help but smile back. He lets go of her hand, and Hinata reaches forward, placing the pendant around Neji’s neck. The soft brush of Hinata’s skin against his sends shivers down Neji’s spine, and when he looks at her, his heart is in his throat. As she fumbles with the clasp, her face is only inches away from his. His gaze drops to her lips – if he leans just a little he could...

No, he cannot even think about it.

“There, Neji-onii-sama,” Hinata murmurs, moving her hands away, “All done. Now I will know you’ll always come back.”

To Neji’s surprise, she doesn’t step back – instead, she remains still, looking him straight in the face. She’s so close that he can smell the strawberry juice she drank at dinner on her breath, and Neji finds this closeness utterly intoxicating. His heartbeat thunders in his ears as he leans forward ever so slightly to see if she will pull away, but she doesn’t.

“Neji-onii-sama...” she murmurs softly, looking at him through her eyelashes as bright blush dusts her cheeks.

He doesn’t respond, only leans in closer. Her warm breath ghosts his lips, making his head spin.

“Neji-sama, Hinata-san,” Natsu’s voice catches him off guard, “There you two are. We’ve been looking for you everywhere at the compound. Now hurry, before your father becomes cross with me.”

Hinata’s cheeks are deep crimson when she takes a step back, and she isn’t looking at him, and Neji wonders if he had, perhaps, misunderstood and overstepped his bounds. But, as they walk back to the compound side by side, the back of Hinata’s hand brushes ever so slightly against his, and Neji cannot stop smiling.

*** At fifteen, Hinata has blossomed into a true beauty – and Neji isn’t the only one who noticed. Neji sees how Kou stares at Hinata when she isn’t looking and how he goes out of his way to seek out her company. She is too sweet, too friendly to refuse him, and oftentimes Kou ends up accompanying Hinata around the compound as she does her errands. Seeing Kou near Hinata fills Neji’s heart with sharp, burning jealousy and leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Neji knows he has no right to feel the way he does – and yet he cannot still his heart.

One day after a mission, Neji comes to visit Hinata in her garden, only to see Kou there, sitting on a small bench under the oak tree. Hinata, who is watering sunflowers, notices Neji first.

“Neji-onii-sama,” she smiles bright and airy, “You are back!”

Kou’s face drops for a moment before he regains his composure. “Welcome back, Neji-sama,” he greets Neji, and there’s the slightest hint of tension in his voice.

It must be Neji’s lucky day, however, because as soon as he steps through the garden’s gates, Natsu appears right behind him to fetch Kou to help train the younger kids.

“He’s quite persistent, isn’t he?” Neji remarks once Kou and Natsu leave.

“Kou-san is just very friendly and has been kind enough to keep me company,” Hinata says, setting down the watering can and wiping off her forehead with the back of her hand, “Although – and please don’t tell him that because it would be quite mean – I still haven’t found a way to tell him politely that sometimes I like to garden without observers. Like today, for example.”

“If you’d like, I can come see you later,” Neji offers, his heart twinging. Ever since he left on his mission five days ago, he’d dreamed of seeing Hinata again, but if she wanted some alone time, he would never try and impose his company.

“Huh? Why would...” Hinata frowns, walking up to Neji. Her eyes widen as realization slowly dawns upon her face, “Ah, Neji-onii-sama, I didn’t mean it that way!”

“It’s alright,” Neji says, “I understand.”

“But you don’t,” Hinata says, stopping right before him. Neji raises an eyebrow, confused, watching as she bites her lower lip as if hesitating before looking up and meeting his eyes. “You see, Neji-onii-sama,” she says, shifting from foot to foot, “The truth is, I treasure our time together with all my heart, and I would never ask you.”

There is ardor behind her words, and Neji’s heart races as warmth spills through his veins when she looks at him with open, earnest eyes.

“Good,” he says as evenly as he can muster, fighting the blush rising in his cheeks, “Because I’m not planning to leave – not until I’ve helped you with all those flowers, at least.”

“Thank you, onii-sama,” Hinata smiles, radiant and sweet, and Neji knows he’s made the right decision.

*** It dawns fair and clear on the day Neji’s peace is torn asunder. After an early morning meeting, his father announces Hinata’s betrothal to Kou, with the wedding date set for her seventeenth birthday.

Kou is openly delighted, accepting congratulations with a pleased smile, and Neji feels sick. He wants to leave the council chamber to find Hinata and talk to her – he knows she’d never agree to this union. He cannot go, however, not before offering customary congratulations to Kou, and Neji grits his teeth and steels his heart.

“Congratulations,” Neji says, the word bitter and burning on his tongue.

“Thank you, Neji-sama,” Kou replies, “Your support of our union means a lot.”

His smug expression is almost more than Neji can bear. Anger, bright and bristling, rises in Neji’s chest, threatening to spill out of his mouth through cruel words he will, no doubt, regret. Instead, he turns around and walks out of the meeting chamber without saying another word. He’s halfway down the hall when, suddenly, he hears his father’s voice behind him.

“Neji, there’s something we need to speak about.”

*** “I’ve seen the way you look at her,” his father says, closing his study door behind them.

It’s been years since Neji had last seen his father’s office, yet, surprisingly, the room appears the same as he remembers, as though time didn’t exist here. His gaze travels, unbidden, to the small shelf above the fireplace, and he sees it – the picture of him and Hinata and their fathers, all smiling brightly, taken on Hinata’s fourth birthday. Just a few weeks before Hinata’s father died.

“I’m not sure I follow, father,” Neji replies, even-toned.

His father looks at Neji bemused, “Do you consider me a fool or a blind man?”

Neji says nothing. Hizashi walks over to his desk and takes a seat, gesturing for Neji to sit down across from him. Neji stifles a sigh – he can tell that the conversation will be long. Still, he does as he is told.

“No matter your answer,” his father says once Neji’s seated, “I’ve brought you here with one purpose – to tell you that you need to put this folly out of your mind. Hinata may be of the branch house, but she’s still my brother’s daughter, and I will not permit you to toy with her.”

“Toy with her?” Neji echoes, dumbfounded.

“Call it what you will,” Hizashi says, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “But the intention is the same. The elders will never approve of this union, and you will only ruin her for marriage.”

White-hot anger blooms in Neji’s chest, clawing at his throat. Ruin her for marriage?

“You are mistaken about the nature of our relationship, father,” Neji’s voice almost trembles with anger as he speaks.

“Am I? I was young once, too, you know,” Hizashi interrupts, staring Neji straight in the face, “Kou marrying Hinata would be better for everyone – and I forbid you from even thinking of interfering in this betrothal.”

Bitter smile tugs at Neji’s lips, “And the elders say Kou is free to marry Hinata, even though he is of the main family?”

“But he is not the heir!” Hizashi replies forcefully, anger spilling across his features, “The rules are different for you. You are the future leader – and you must do your duty.”

“And what does duty to the clan demand in these circumstances?” Neji’s voice drips with poison as he holds his father’s gaze.

“To let this marriage go through,” Hizashi says calmer, having regained some of his composure, “To accept your own, suitable match from the main family that I will choose for you when the time comes.”

“And if I have no desire for such a match?” Neji bristles instantly, feeling nauseous from his father’s mere suggestion.

Hizashi sighs and presses his fingers against his temples before looking back at Neji. “I do not see what you stand to gain by being so obstinate. Before the year’s end, Hinata will be Kou’s wife. Do you intend to spend the rest of your days grieving some childish fantasy?”

“And Hinata,” Neji interrupts, ignoring his father’s question, “Did you bother to ask if she wants this marriage?”

“Hinata has been informed and will do her duty,” his father says intently, “As will you.”

Blood pounds in Neji’s ears, and his throat feels dry when he looks Hizashi in the face. Anger, hot and bright, spills into his veins, burning him from the inside. How easy it must be to talk of duty for a man who has never cared for anyone, not even his own son. No, he will not listen to his father anymore.

Before Neji can get up from his seat, Hizashi speaks again.

“Do not think I have no compassion for your circumstances,” Hizashi says slowly.

“If you do, father, you must forgive me, for I haven’t noticed,” Neji replies bitterly.

Suddenly, a soft, chagrinned smile appears on Hizashi’s face. “You still have so much to understand,” he shakes his head before looking Neji in the eye again, “Do you really think you were the first heir to the main family to fall in love with a branch family member?”

The revelation stuns Neji.

“And what happened then?” he asks flatly.

“What always happens in our family,” his father replies, looking away. He’s silent for a long moment before turning back to Neji, “Everyone did their duty.”

But Neji is done with duty. Without saying another word to Hizashi, he gets up from his seat and storms out of the study to find Hinata.

*** He finds Hinata in the garden, tending to a flowerbed of white lilies. Her hands are buried in dirt as she prunes and pulls the weeds surrounding the flowers. Her face is exhausted and pale, but the red splotches on her cheeks betray that she’d been crying, and Neji’s heart clenches.

“Hinata-san,” Neji calls out softly, walking through the garden gates. She freezes as though startled by his voice and quickly raises to her feet.

“Neji-onii-sama,” she says, turning to him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you approach.”

“It’s alright,” Neji replies, “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

He stands in front of Hinata and looks her in the face, searching desperately for the right words but doesn’t find them.

“You don’t want to marry Kou, do you?” he says instead, as blunt as ever.

Hinata doesn’t meet his gaze, not at first, but when she finally looks at him, Neji’s heart sinks. Her expression is still, her gaze – resigned, and nothing in her face betrays any emotion.

“My feelings have no bearing on my marriage,” she says, even-toned and quiet, “And thus hardly matter.”

“They matter to me,” Neji protests ardently, stepping forward and taking Hinata’s hands into his.

Hinata’s eyes widen in surprise and the slightest tinge of pink blooms upon her cheeks.

“Thank you, onii-sama,” she says softly, but her voice quivers, “I’ve always been grateful for how much you care about me and my happiness. But, I’m afraid, in this case, there is nothing to be done.”

Hinata’s words claw at his very soul, and Neji’s heart is in his throat.

“So then,” Neji murmurs, his voice hoarse, “You intend to go through with this marriage?”

“It is my duty to obey the orders of the main family,” Hinata says lightly, “If Hizashi-sama and the elders have determined that this union will benefit the clan, who am I to question their will?”

Neji’s heart sinks as a cold, heavy feeling spills through his veins. Noticing the shift in his demeanor, Hinata gently squeezes his hand.

“I truly wish it wasn’t so,” she says, smiling softly and sadly.

She looks so lost, so delicate, and so vulnerable, and Neji’s heart shatters at the sight. He cups her hand with both of his, sweeping his thumb across her palm. Her nails are broken and dirty from the yard work, and her hand seems very small and soft against his. There is so much Neji wishes he could tell her – if only he had the right words.

And, instead of everything that cannot be said between them, Neji leans in and kisses her fingers, hoping and praying that she will understand – it is an act of despair.

*** It’s been two moon’s turns since Neji last spent the night in the compound. The knowledge of Hinata’s upcoming wedding is enough to endure already without having to witness the preparations, and Neji accepts any dangerous mission that would keep him away from the village.

“You should take care of yourself,” Tenten scolds him when Neji almost runs out of chakra from using Byakugan too many hours in a row, “Have you considered what would happen if you get burned out and lose focus during a mission?”

Tenten’s right, of course, as she usually is about these things – a week later, on a mission to the Land of Iron, Neji gets careless. Next thing he knows, a kunai’s driven up to the hilt between his third and fourth ribs. Despite his teammate’s efforts to keep pressure on the wound, blood seeps through their fingers, and slowly, Neji’s consciousness dims. As he slips into oblivion, Neji’s haunted only by Hinata’s face.

*** When Neji comes to his sense, he’s in his room at the Hyuga compound. Hinata’s sitting by his bedside, her worried eyes trained upon Neji’s face. She looks pale, and deep shadow pool under her eyes, betraying that she hasn’t slept in days.  

“Neji-onii-sama,” she murmurs, sighing with relief, “Thank goodness you are finally awake. I was so worried.”

“How...how did I get here?” Neji asks, sitting up on the bed.

“The backup team managed to get you just in time,” Hinata explains, “Tenten said had the medic-nin been just a few minutes late, then...”

Hinata’s voice trails off as she glances to the side and bites her lip. Her small hands are clutched tightly in her lap, and Neji’s heart clenches.

“There is no need to worry over that,” he murmurs softly, leaning in, gently putting his hand atop Hinata’s forearm, “I’m here now.”

Hinata nods, a small, timid smile blooming on her lips. “I knew you’d come back,” she whispers, “You’ve never broken your promise.”

Neji’s hand slides down her forearm, resting atop Hinata’s folded hands. She looks at him with wide, wondering eyes and doesn’t pull away. They are so close, closer than they have been in months, and unbidden warmth spills through Neji’s veins as his heart races.

Looking at Hinata, he wonders how he’d ever stayed away from her so long when everything in him was so desperate, so eager to be by her side. He knows she’d been promised to another, yet he cannot help himself as longing twists in his chest, urging him to lean in.

“Hinata...” he breathes out hoarsely, her name a plea on his lips – a warning.

Hinata’s still watching Neji, mesmerized, through her eyelashes as he shifts closer. His flutters in his chest, and his head spins when Hinata’s soft breath ghosts his lips. He’s about to close the distance between them when, suddenly, Hinata blinks, and something shifts in her expression. The next thing Neji knows, she’s pulling away, a bright crimson flush burning on her cheeks.

“I...I’m sorry, Neji-onii-sama,” she stutters, not meeting his gaze, “You must be exhausted. I should let you rest.”

Neji’s heart drops as a cold feeling rises in his throat, threatening to suffocate him. What was he thinking? Hinata was promised to another, and even if she weren’t... Even if she weren’t, who is to say she ever shared Neji’s feelings.

A bitter feeling uncoils in Neji’s chest. Had he been deluding himself, thinking that one day she may come to see him the way he saw her?

“It’s alright,” Neji says, even-toned, his own words scratching at his very soul, “I will rest now. Thank you for checking on me, Hinata-san.”

Hinata nods but doesn’t meet his gaze. She shifts on the chair as if to get up, yet, to Neji’s surprise, remains seated. Time stretches around them as Hinata remains still, almost frozen in place. Perplexed, Neji notices that she’s clenching her fists, her knuckles white from her grip, her short nails leaving half-moon imprints on her palms.

“Hinata-san, is everything alright?” Neji asks. Though his heart aches, he cannot help but worry for her.

“You know, Neji-onii-sama,” Hinata says, still looking down at her hands, “When they brought you here, injured and unconscious, I made a promise to myself. I promised that when you wake up, I will tell you the truth.”

“The truth?” Neji echoes.

Hinata raises her head and looks Neji in the face. Her eyes are full of bright, unwavering resolve, and, suddenly, Neji’s breath catches in his throat.

“Yes,” she nods, “I promised myself to tell you that you were right. That, even though Kou is a good and kind man, I do not wish to marry him.”

Neji’s eyes widen in surprise as he looks at Hinata. Though he had been certain she didn’t want to marry Kou, he never expected her to openly admit it.

“But that’s not the whole truth,” Hinata continues as a soft, sad smile blooms on her lips, “And I wanted to keep it to myself because I am promised to another, because you are the heir to the main family, and I do not wish to complicate your life. But when they brought you here...I realized I could no longer keep this secret in my heart. I hope you can forgive me for being so selfish.”

“What are you saying?” Neji asks, his voice barely a whisper as his heart thunders in his ears.

“That I love you, Neji-sama.”

Neji doesn’t remember leaning in – only the moment his lips found Hinata’s, and when he kisses her, he loses time. She’s delightfully, intoxicatingly soft and warm against him, making Neji’s head spin and his heart flutter. Hinata sighs softly against his lips when he pulls her close, and, suddenly, the very axis of Neji’s world has shifted imperceptibly.

When they pull apart, bright blush burns on Hinata’s cheeks, and Neji cannot hide a content smile, despite the heat rising in his own face.

“Neji-sama,” she stutters, “I...”

“I love you too,” he interrupts Hinata, “Ever since I first saw you.”

She looks at him with wide, incredulous eyes, and Neji never thought she could turn ever more flushed. Smiling softly, he takes her hands in his, brushing the back of her left hand gently with his thumb. For a long moment, they are quiet, reveling in their closeness.

With a soft sigh, Hinata finally pulls away.

“We cannot do this again,” she says, with a small, sad smile, “Even though I love you, I am still promised to another.”

Neji chuckles - as if he’d let anyone else have her now that he knew he was the one who had her heart.

“You will not marry Kou – you have my word on that,” Neji says, lifting Hinata’s chin with his hand, making her meet his gaze, “I will speak with father as soon as he returns to the village and the wedding will be off.”

Hinata nods, content, and Neji pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her. As she rests her head on his chest, Hinata murmurs, “I trust you, Neji-sama.”

*** On the day his father returns to the village, war comes to Konoha. In the war, they see many things – more than any person should ever have to see. For three days, they are wrapped in the chill of the grave, followed by the screams of the dying and the whispers of the dead.

*** The war is bitter beyond imagining – living in the aftermath is harder.

Hizashi Hyuga laid down his life for his homeland in the Fourth War, and at eighteen years old, Neji finds himself the youngest head of the Hyuga clan, with all the power – and responsibilities that come with it.

“I will talk to Kou and inform him that the betrothal has been broken,” Neji tells Hinata.

“Let me be the one to speak to him,” she protests, and, yet again, Neji cannot refuse her.

He never learns what Hinata had told Kou. Only, an hour later, there’s a knock on his study door, and Kou’s bowing low, asking for Neji to break off his betrothal to Hinata. As the new head of the Hyuga, Neji’s all too pleased to grant this first request.

*** The following months are spent settling clan disputes, restoring the compound from the damages caused by war, and scouring ancient scrolls for ways to remove the Caged Bird seal. His decision to meld main and branch families had been highly contentious with the council, but Neji has never been the one to back down. He’d seen enough in his short life to know that the old system brought more grief than use.

Hinata’s by his side every step of the way, supporting him with wise, measured counsel and, on occasion, tempering his proud nature, and for that, Neji is grateful.

When, after weeks of searching, he finally discovers the jutsu to end the Caged Bird seal, Neji insists that Hinata be the first one to have her seal removed.

“Are you scared?” Neji asks softly, settling down in front of Hinata on the cool wooden floor of his study.

“No,” Hinata shakes her head and smiles lightly, “I trust you.”

Neji nods and leans forward, gently lifting Hinata’s bangs with one hand to reveal the mark on her forehead. Taking a deep breath, he concentrates, making a sign with his free hand. Between a heartbeat and the next, nothing happens – then, slowly, the mark starts to pale.

Hinata lets out a sharp, shaky breath through her teeth and almost loses balance, but Neji steadies her. When he looks at Hinata’s forehead again, the mark is gone.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, his heart clenching with worry as he holds Hinata.

“A little dizzy, but otherwise alright,” she says, trembling slightly, “Is it gone?”

“It is,” Neji confirms, and a bright smile blooms upon her face.

“Thank you,” she murmurs.

*** It is on a crisp spring morning that Neji asks Hinata to be his wife. They’ve trained together since dawn, and, as Neji looks at Hinata, sweat-slicked and flushed, drinking tea sitting next to him on the terrace and telling him excitedly about the new flowers she’s planting in the garden, the words slip his lips, unbidden.

Hinata stills, then tilts her head to the side, looking at him with curious eyes.

“I thought you’d already promised to be by my side forever,” she smiles coyly, looking at Neji through her eyelashes.

“I have,” Neji readily agrees, shifting closer, “But you haven’t.”

Neji knows she loves him, and yet, his heart is in his throat as he awaits her answer.

“Well, then we must fix this dreadful oversight,” Hinata chuckles, and Neji pulls her in and kisses her.

*** Neji thinks it is a kind of karmic justice when Kiba and Shino corner him a month before the wedding as he’s leaving the Hokage’s tower – just like he did to them all those years ago.

“Treat Hinata with respect,” Kiba frowns and crosses his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to look intimidating, and Akamaru barks in agreement.

“Treat her with kindness, and we will not have a problem,” Shino adds, echoing Neji’s own words.

As Neji looks at Hinata’s teammates, he cannot help but smile. It warms his heart to know that Hinata always had friends outside the family to rely on and that they care deeply about her well-being. He recognizes now how sorely he misjudged them all those years ago.

“You have my word,” he promises.

*** On their wedding, Hinata is a tiny, delicate thing – utterly breathtaking, clad in her white and silver kimono. Neji can hardly keep his eyes off her long enough to accept congratulations with the grace and poise befitting the head of the Hyuga clan.

Their wedding is a grandiose affair – the elders have insisted that the head of the clan simply cannot get married in a small ceremony at the temple. Still, seeing all their friends eat, drink and make merry brings a smile to Neji’s lips, and he cannot begrudge the elders their decision. The wounds left by the war are still fresh in everyone’s hearts, but it’s good to see that their friends can still enjoy the simpler pleasures of life.

Smiling, Neji reaches for Hinata’s hand and pulls it to his lips, brushing featherlight kisses against her knuckles. Hinata glances at him coyly through her eyelashes and smiles her rich little rosebud smile, sending Neji’s heart racing.

“Do you think they will notice if we sneak away?” Neji murmurs into her ear, enjoying the bright pink blush the question brings to her face.

“I think we can take our chances.”

#neji hyūga #hinata hyuga #neji hyuuga x hinata hyuuga #nejihina #hyūgaclanweek

[alyssaallyrion]

rt if you like damaged goods

#Hisoillu vibes I think

[alyssaallyrion]

#confessor is right lmao #we stan a volcel in this house #neji

[alyssaallyrion]

i’m here to have a good time, not a canon-compliant time.

#always lol

[alyssaallyrion]

Title: i prayed one word (i want)

Rating: M

Summary: An errant confession of forbidden love, a grief-fueled tryst in the night - war has a way of bringing out the things that otherwise would stay concealed. Only the war is over, and peace has come, and it's time to pick up the pieces.

Notes: Originally intended as a one-shot for Hyuga Week, but covid got in the way and then this turned into...well, whatever this is. 

ao3 link

Chapter 1

“Neji-nii-san, Neji-nii-san!” Hinata calls out desperately, her voice trembling from quiet sobs as she falls to her knees beside him in the dirt.

Neji struggles to keep his eyes open – he’s lost a lot of blood, and searing agony piercing his entire being drained him of what little remained of his strength. The world around loses sound and color with every passing moment, as unbearable chill slowly seeps into his very bones. Neji has seen enough in his time as a shinobi to know what this means for him.

Yet even as death’s frigid breath ghosts across his skin, all Neji can think about is Hinata. Fighting blood and bile rising in his throat, Neji grits his teeth and reaches out for her. Hinata shifts forward, meeting him halfway, cupping his hand with both of hers and pressing it to her cheek. His calloused, bloodied hand seems to scrape obscenely at her fair skin, but she leans firmly into the touch.

“Neji-nii-san...” her entire body shudders with a violent sob.

“Shh,” Neji murmurs gently, trying to wipe off her tears, but his fingers do not move.

Hinata looks at him with wide, terrified eyes, and it’s more than Neji can bear. She has always been his most precious person – that is why he chose to give up his life for hers without a second thought. He wanted Hinata to survive, live a long, happy life, have a family, and grow old with the person she truly loved. With Naruto.

He’d never meant for her to look so utterly heartbroken.

“How could you throw your life away like that, nii-san?” Hinata’s voice is barely a whisper, “We had sworn that we would break the vicious cycle of sacrifice between the main house and the branch house!”

Through pain, soft smile tugs at Neji’s lips. She doesn’t realize it – and how could she? After all, Neji knows he’s always been so difficult to understand. He wasn’t dying for Hinata because she was of the main branch or because she was the daughter of the clan leader. No, the truth was much simpler and, for that, all the more inexorable: he did it because he was in love with her. He loved her deeply, with all his heart, ever since he first laid his eyes upon her all those years ago – and he had every intention of taking this secret to his grave.

After all, he had no right to burden her with his feelings, not when he knew she was in love with someone else. Not when she looked at Naruto Uzumaki as if he were the sun.

“I’m sorry I won’t be by your side to help, Hinata-sama,” he tries to speak softly, but his voice is hoarse, “But I know that if anyone can change the ways of our clan, it’s you.”

“Neji-nii-san, please…” Hinata’s voice breaks as she clutches his hand tightly, “Please…”

“Please don’t cry,” Neji rasps, barely able to lift his head to look at her. Grief-stricken and exhausted, somehow Hinata still looks heart-shatteringly lovely.

“Why did you try to protect me?” Hinata sobs, “If I had known you’d do this, I would never...Neji-nii-san, please don’t leave me.”

If he could think clearer, Neji would have kept his mouth shut, would have taken never spilled his secret, but he is nigh delirious from pain and blood loss. His thoughts are muddled, confused fragments - and truth slips unbidden before he can bite his tongue.

“I love you,” he murmurs, “I would have died a thousand deaths if it meant you could live.”

Neji’s breaths come shallow and ragged. Blood gurgles in his lungs, slowly suffocating him, and his eyelids feel impossibly heavy. The world quickly fades into the darkness, and the last thing Neji sees before he closes his eyes is Hinata’s face.

“I think I understand now, father,” Neji muses, as his mind drifts off, “What true freedom is.”

“Neji…” Hinata calls out, but he cannot answer.

* * * “Neji-nii-san,” a quiet, familiar voice tugs at the edges of his consciousness, “Neji-nii-san.”

Neji struggles to open his eyes – his entire body feels foreign and heavy like lead. He feels utterly exhausted when, after a long moment, he finally forces his eyelids open.

The world around him is nothing but a blur of washed-out colors. Neji blinks once, then again, straining to see his surroundings among faint contours and shadows. Instantly, dull pressure winds like a snake around his temples, squeezing his head, and a jolt of bright, burning pain bursts behind his eyes, forcing Neji to wince.

“Neji-nii-san,” he hears Hinata gasp somewhere beside him, “Thank goodness you are awake!”

Slowly, the world begins to take shape, and Neji finds himself staring at the white ceiling of Konoha’s hospital room. Right by his bedside is Hinata, her wide, worried eyes trained upon him. There are deep shadows under her eyes, and her cheeks look sullen, and Neji knows she hasn’t slept in days.

“Hinata-sama,” he breathes out, his voice entirely too hoarse. His mouth feels dry, and the pressure around his head winds even tighter, but the soft, timid smile that blooms on Hinata’s lips almost makes him forget about the pain.

“You need water,” Hinata says, reaching over to grab a bottle from the small bedside table.

Neji stirs, trying to sit up, but the slightest movement brings a wave of sudden, searing pain.

“Please be careful, nii-san,” Hinata frowns, turning back to him, “Tsunade-sama said you should not get up when you awake, or you’ll disturb your wounds.”

“For how long?” Neji rasps, utterly unenthused by the impending bedrest.

“I’m not sure,” Hinata responds, “She said she’ll need to examine you once you are awake.”

Neji tries to nod but finds himself unable to move his neck. Hinata shifts forward, bringing the water bottle to his lips. Usually, Neji’s pride would have forced him to refuse the help, but he’s in too much pain and absolutely parched, so he does not argue. He drinks greedily, as though he hasn’t had a single drop of water in years, and when the bottle is empty, it still doesn’t feel like enough.

“I’m sorry,” Hinata murmurs apologetically, “I’ll go get you more water.”

As she shifts back into her seat, Neji feels her hand brush lightly against his, and suddenly, bright blush blooms on her cheeks.

“I...I will be right back,” Hinata stutters, and she’s on her feet, and next thing Neji knows, she’s almost halfway to the door.

Before she has a chance to leave, the door slides open, and Neji sees Lee and Tenten in the corridor.

“Hinata?” Tenten frowns, stepping into the room, “I thought you’d left to get some rest like you promised. Do you want Tsunade-sama to yell at you?”

“Tenten, Lee-san, Neji-nii-san is finally awake!” Hinata interrupts.

Before Neji can react, his teammates are by his bedside, chattering excitedly.

“I knew you were going to pull through!” Lee exclaims, beaming brightly at Neji and giving him a thumbs up, “Gai-sensei has always told us that nothing can beat the power of youth! And, besides, you are my eternal rival, my man of destiny – how could you possibly leave before we get to have our rematch?”

“I’m happy to see you too, Lee,” Neji sighs, smiling softly, “But please don’t cry.”

But he’s too late – Lee’s already sobbing, threatening to drown them all with his youthful tears.

“What would our team do without you?” Lee cries out and shifts forward as if to hug Neji. Painfully aware of the extent of his injuries, Neji winces internally, but before Lee can hug him, Tenten stops him in his tracks, grasping his forearm with a firm hand.

“What do you think you are doing?” she frowns at Lee, “You are going to disturb his wounds! What do you think Tsunade-sama will say then?”

Lee turns pale at the thought, and Neji can hardly blame him – few people were more terrifying in their wrath than the Godaime.

“I’m so sorry,” Lee mutters apologetically.

“And you,” Tenten continues, as she turns to Neji, still frowning, “Were you just going to leave me all alone to look after these two? That’s quite selfish if you ask me.”

“I’m sorry, Tenten,” Neji chuckles, but she doesn’t let up.

“You better not try something like this again,” she says flatly, then looks back at Lee, “Go find Tsunade-sama. I’m sure she’ll want to know that Neji’s awake.”

“Of course!” Lee nods enthusiastically before giving Neji a bright smile, “I will be right back.”

With that, he crosses the room with what looks like a single jump, flings the door open, and sprints into the corridor.

“Just so you know, I would have kicked your ass in the afterlife if you left me to deal with all this energy all by myself,” Tenten sighs, sliding her weapon scroll off her shoulder. After momentary contemplation, she leans it against the nightstand and settles on a small chair by Neji’s bedside.

“Then I’m glad I’m still here,” Neji laughs.

“You should be,” Tenten looks at him with serious eyes, “Tsunade-sama really is a miracle worker. To say that you had one foot in the grave would be a horrible understatement.”

Neji frowns - while he is acutely aware that he sustained grave injuries, his memories of the war are hazy at best, all overshadowed by the recollection of blinding, searing pain piercing his entire being.

“Tenten,” he says, calm and even-toned, “What happened?”

Concern, clear as day, spills across Tenten’s face, “You don’t remember?”

“No,” Neji admits flatly.

Tenten is silent for a long moment, as if hesitating, then she asks, “Do you remember Obito Uchiha and the Ten-Tails?”

Neji nods, trying not to wince from the jolt of pain the movement causes – that much he does remember.

“Well, when he attacked Naruto, Hinata tried to protect him, to be his shield,” Tenten’s voice trails off momentarily before she continues, “And you... You chose to become a shield for her.”

It is as though Tenten’s words unlock his memories, and Neji starts to remember. He remembers the burning pain as the stakes pierced through him, remembers choking on his own blood and Hinata’s pale, tear-stained face as he tried to console her with his dying breath. As he told her that...

Neji’s heart drops as a chilling wave of anxiety clutches his throat, threatening to suffocate him. She knows. Neji feels dizzy – the secret he’s carried in his heart for so many years had been pried out of him by pain and delirium.

If he were dead, his errant confession could, perhaps, have been excused – after all, worse things have been forgiven to the deceased. Only, Neji isn’t dead – and now she knows.

Neji’s mouth feels dry as a frigid wave of fear spreads through his body, seeping into his very bones. They spent years healing their relationship from the rift caused by his father’s death, and now an ill-fated confession may have ruined everything they’ve worked so hard to build, placing an insurmountable distance between them.

Neji knows Hinata loves Naruto – he should have also known to keep his mouth shut.

The door slides open, sending Neji’s heart racing with anxiety. Hinata walks in, carrying several water bottles, and Neji cannot bring himself to look at her.

“Here is more water,” Hinata says softly, placing the bottles on the bedside table.

“Thank you,” Neji murmurs, not meeting her gaze.

“I wonder what’s taking Lee so long,” Tenten says, looking towards the door, “I really hope he hasn’t gone to Gai-sensei’s room again to attempt yet another one of his challenges.”

“Gai-sensei is also here?” Neji asks, turning to Tenten. Her words catch him off guard, although knowing their sensei, he shouldn’t be surprised.

Tenten glances briefly at Hinata before looking back at Neji and nodding. “He has opened the Eight Gates to save us all,” she explains carefully.

Neji’s eyes widen in surprise, “And he lived?”

“Yes,” Tenten nods, “Somehow, he lived.”

Silence falls upon the room as Neji slowly tries to process what he’s heard. The consequences of opening the Eight Gates were hardly a secret, and, knowing Gai-sensei, Neji had always suspected that one day he would give up his life using that technique to protect those he cared about. Yet, somehow, he survived.

“Neji-nii-san,” Hinata’s soft voice distracts Neji from his thoughts, “Your bandages... Here, let me help.”

Still unable to meet her gaze, Neji waits with bated breath as Hinata shifts closer. She leans in, reaching for his forehead bandages, and her long hair ghosts across his forearm. The sensation sends shivers down Neji’s spine, making his heart race. Her hands are soft and cool against his skin, and Neji’s breath catches in his throat as she lightly tugs at his bandages.

“Does it hurt?” she asks, looking at him with worried eyes, “The spot where the seal used to be?”

It takes a moment before Neji realizes what she’s saying.

His cursed mark was gone.

He knows he should be happy – he’d spent years dreaming of the day he’d get rid of the cursed mark, of the day he’d finally be free. Only, now these thoughts do little to quell the unease rising in his chest.

If the seal was gone, does it mean he lost his Byakugan as well?

He has always prided himself on having the strongest, clearest Byakugan in the history of the Hyuga. He could hardly imagine being a shinobi – and even just living his life – without it.

“No,” he finally manages, his voice hoarse and his mouth dry.

Before Hinata can reply, the door to his room flies open, and in marches Tsunade-sama, followed by Lee. Tsunade-sama looks as though she had about two hours of sleep in the last fortnight and entirely too much sake, but that much Neji expects. During peacetime, medic-nin worked long, grueling hours, but during wartime, they were expected to work to the bitter end – and then some.

“Good, you are finally awake,” Tsunade-sama says, walking up to Neji’s bed, “How are you feeling? I have to say, you are stronger than you appear - hardly anyone could have survived that.”

“Uncomfortable, but alive,” Neji replies flatly. “Uncomfortable” is a monstrous understatement, but Neji’s never been the one to complain about physical pain.

“Considering that your internal organs were shredded into ribbons and we had to use chakra glue to put them back together, you should count yourself lucky,” Tsunade scoffs, rolling up her sleeves before placing her hand on Neji’s forearm, “Just a little more damage and it could have been all over for you. Now stay still.”

Her chakra courses through his veins, cool and prickly, and Tsunade frowns before pulling her hand away.

“How much longer do I need to stay here?” Neji asks.

“Until I’m sure that all your internal organs have healed properly,” Tsunade cuts him off, then crosses her arms in front of her chest and adds, “And don’t even think of leaving before I discharge you.”

Neji barely stifles a sigh – the last thing he wants is to spend weeks on end in this hospital bed. He watches as Tsunade-sama picks up his chart from the bedside table and glances over it before pulling out a pen from her pocket to make notes.

“Tomorrow, I am going to have Yamanaka come in and check on your mind,” she says, still looking at the chart, “Just to make sure that the destruction of the seal didn’t have any nasty side effects on your bran. While I don’t think it’s likely, it’s still a possibility we can’t rule out just yet...”

“What about the Byakugan?” Neji interrupts before she can finish, “Has it also been... destroyed?”

Tsunade-sama is quiet for a moment, biting the tip of her pen as she studies his chart again.

“No. No, it wasn’t,” Tsunade says, frowning. She makes another note in the chart before looking Neji in the face, “Do you know why the seal disappeared?”

While Neji cannot be sure, he knows enough of the Caged Bird seal to hazard a guess, but before he can voice his suspicions, Tsunade continues.

“You were dead,” she says flatly, “It was for less than thirty seconds, but you were dead. Fortunately for you, that wasn’t enough time for the seal to destroy your Byakugan - but it still managed to damage it.”

“Damage it?” Neji echoes.

“Yes,” Tsunade nods, setting his chart back on the bedside table, “But, although the damage is fairly extensive, I imagine that with proper care and training, you will be able to restore it to its full potential. But just so we are clear – proper care means you cannot use it for at least a month until the injuries heal. Otherwise, you will only worsen the damage.”

Neji frowns, barely able to stifle a sigh – in all his years of being a shinobi, he’s overstrained his Byakugan only twice and, on both those occasions, was able to use it again only a day later. And now, he has been forbidden from using it for over a month. <i>And who knows how long training to restore its full abilities will take...</i>

It seems Tsunade picks up on his soured mood. Putting her hands on her hips, she glares at him and says, “You should be grateful you are alive at all, with all the injuries that you’ve sustained.”

Before Neji can argue, Hinata’s gentle hand is on his forearm.

“Neji-nii-san,” she says lightly, “When Tsunade-sama clears you, I will help you train your Byakugan like you once helped me.”

All words of protest die on Neji’s lips when she looks at him timidly through her eyelashes and smiles that soft rosebud smile.

“I will help you too!” Lee eagerly chimes in, “In fact, I promise to make five hundred laps on my hands around the village every day that I do not dedicate at least two hours to training with you.”

He never changes, does he? Neji thinks but cannot stop himself from smiling.

“Thank you, Lee,” he says.

“I’m also here to help if you need me,” Tenten adds, resting her chin on her hand, “And I’m sure Gai-sensei would be eager to train with you too.”

“The last thing Gai should be thinking about right now is training,” Tsunade-sama says, “So don’t go around encouraging him. Because if I catch him doing push-ups in the hospital bed just one more time, I swear...”

Neji notices the quick glance Tenten shoots at Lee as she mouthes something that seems awfully like, “I told you so.”

Suddenly, the door to his room slams open, interrupting Tsunade. In the doorway, he sees Shizune, frazzled and disheveled, breathing heavily as if she has just run through the entire hospital.

“Tsunade-sama, we need you in the operating room immediately!” she exclaims.

“I won’t have any time to eat today, will I?” Tsunade sighs, then looks at Neji, “Get some sleep - I will check on you tomorrow.”

“And you,” Tsunade frowns, turning to Hinata, “Didn’t I tell you to go home and rest? You can’t be sitting by his bedside day and night.”

“I’m sorry, Tsunade-sama,” Hinata stutters, bright blush blooming on her cheeks.

“I’ll ban you from the hospital if you don’t listen,” Tsunade adds, making her way to the exit, “So you better do as I say.”

“Well, Neji, you heard Tsunade-sama,” Tenten says, as soon as the door closes behind Tsunade and Shizune, “Looks like it’s time for you to get some rest. We’ll come to visit you tomorrow morning.”

“Bright and early!” Lee adds with a bright smile, “We’ll wake up at dawn and come see you right away.”

“That’s way too early,” Tenten argues, “It dawns at four o’clock; how is he supposed to get any sleep?”

Neji looks at her with gratitude - while all shinobi are intimately acquainted with functioning on very little sleep, on the rare occasion that Neji did have a day off, he preferred staying up late into the night and sleeping longer in the morning.

“Very well,” Lee concedes, “We’ll be here as soon as you wake up.”

“Thank you,” Neji tells his teammates.

Tenten rises from her seat and picks up her weapons scroll, sliding it back over her shoulder. She waives at Neji and heads to the door, followed by Lee, who shoots him a bright smile. They are halfway across the room when Tenten turns and looks at Hinata.

“You aren’t planning to defy Tsunade-sama, are you?” she asks, tilting her head to the side and eyeing Hinata curiously.

“Of course not,” Hinata says hastily, light blush dusting her cheeks, “It’s just that... I’ll catch up with you in the corridor, if that’s alright?”

Tenten nods, and she and Lee walk out of the room, leaving Neji and Hinata alone.

Neji’s heart is pounding in his ears as the wave of anxiety rises in his chest. He knows Hinata better than anyone, and he knows there’s only one reason she stayed behind – she has something to tell him. Hinata doesn’t look at him – her gaze is downcast, her eyes transfixed upon her hands folded in her lap.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay by your side,” she murmurs.

“It’s alright, Hinata-sama,” Neji assures her, “I will be just fine.”

Hinata nods and bites her lip, still looking at her hands. Neji wants to say something, anything to quell his own unease, yet, somehow, his mind is blank. Suddenly, Hinata raises her head and looks him straight in the face.

“Neji-nii-san,” she starts slowly, “I’m very grateful for what you have done for me, but there is something you need to know.”

Neji’s heart sinks as a shiver runs down his spine. He would have been naive to think he could have gotten away with that errant confession. His thoughts are frazzled, and his mouth runs dry as he frantically tries to come up with the words that would convey just how sorry he was for burdening her with his secret.

“The truth is,” Hinata continues before he manages to get a word in, “While I am grateful, I would have been very angry with you if you died.”

A moment passes before Neji realizes what she’s saying, and when he does, he’s surprised by the confusing amalgamation of relief and disappointment that washes over him.

“My apologies, Hinata-sama,” he offers with a slight smile, “I’ve never meant to upset you.”

“Then you better live a long, happy life,” she replies, looking at him with serious eyes. Her expression softens between a heartbeat and the next, and she adds, “Please.”

“I promise,” Neji says.

Hinata studies his face for a second, then nods, “I’ll hold you to it.”

She hesitates momentarily before getting up from her seat. Looking around the room, she asks, “Do you need anything? I could bring you your pillow from the compound – these hospital ones can be really stiff – or would you like some herring soba? I could stop by the cafe before I come to see you tomorrow...”

“Hinata-sama,” Neji interrupts, warmth rising in his chest at her concern, “There is no need - I will be just fine.”

“Ah, very well,” Hinata says, blushing ever so slightly, “But please don’t hesitate to tell me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Neji says. Hinata nods and smiles, satisfied and heads to the exit. In the doorway, she stops and glances at him over her shoulder.

“Goodnight, Neji-nii-san,” she says softly.

“Goodnight, Hinata-sama,” he replies.

Hinata walks into the corridor, closing the door lightly behind her, and Neji’s left alone in his hospital room. It seems the last bit of his energy has left with her, and he struggles to keep his eyes open. It is a losing battle, of course – as soon as his eyelids fall shut, Neji drifts off.

#neji hyūga #hinata hyuga #nejihina #neji x hinata

[alyssaallyrion]

Please asuma… just help him

#team 10 supremacy

[alyssaallyrion]

"hes a 10 but-" hes a 0. and i want to kiss him so bad

#peak otp feels honestly

[alyssaallyrion]

Broke: Thinking Gai is unfuckable.

Woke: Knowing Gai is the only character with sex appeal in this god forsaken series.

#entire Konoha screaming crying because he’s a 10 but you’ll never be his eternal rival 😔😔😔

[alyssaallyrion]

Has this been made before? 

#what does that Facebook report button say? #‘I’m in this picture and I don’t like it’ I think lol

[alyssaallyrion]

HUNTER X HUNTER IS BACK

[alyssaallyrion]

no way... he's back

#ahhh 💔💔💔 #kurapika

[alyssaallyrion]

Omg omg omg Hunter x Hunter is coming back soon 😭😭😭

#I can’t believe #after all these years #😭😭😭