Tumgik
Text
42K notes · View notes
stages of getting pepper sprayed:
augh fuck thats spicy
AUGH FUCK THATS SPICY IN MY EYES
dont touch your eyes for the LOVE OF GOD DON'T TOUCH YOUR EYES
panic attack simulator, no amount of breathing will feel like enough oxygen
water wont save you. soap wont save you. milk wont save you. the only thing thats going to help is blotting it off with a paper towel or something, and airflow. fans or wind just SOMETHING. if airflow stops for .02 seconds its back to THE WORST
blinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblink x500
ok this is fine now, feels like a sunburn but manageable.
ok now i gotta shower to get the rest off AUGH FUCK. GODDAMN IT SHIT FUCK.
repeat cycle of airflow until dry and shower until it doesn't hurt so bad
do not touch Sensitive Bits for like. a week. DONT.
0 notes
one of my greatest pet peeves in fiction, and it is truly stupid I know, is that no one seems to understand how genuinely hard it is to kill someone via stabbing. stab wounds have a mortality rate of like 5%. especially abdominal stabbing. tv shows and movies show dudes getting stabbed one time in the lower abdomen with a tiny knife and then they fall over. like what did he die of precisely. that man died of Small Knife
29K notes · View notes
AUGH FUCK
0 notes
@killbaned 2nd time! this time with tear gas too! all part of an 8 week job training full of the Worst People I've ever met! im having a Nice Time
2 notes · View notes
fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk
208K notes · View notes
help me leftover 5mg of oxy, you're my only hope
1 note · View note
argh fuck (pt 2)
0 notes
btw this is not a “which do i find LEAST disgusting” poll. this is for the freaks who want to be covered in natural substances
11K notes · View notes
Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from
Tumblr media
103K notes · View notes
Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.
But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.
And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.
And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.
20K notes · View notes
16K notes · View notes
Tumblr media
putting this one forward to be heard by the great people’s jury of tumblr.com because i like to start arguments over nothing
21K notes · View notes
Tumblr media
any ideas guys
4K notes · View notes
polls are the most eye opening part of tumblr bc this whole time all the posts are like fuck yeah gay sex crime stealing steal from Walmart get high and eat pussy but every poll is like I will remain celibate as long as I live . Why are u all lying about eating pussy and smoking weed
27K notes · View notes
Tumblr media
feeling emo for the murder siblings
(don’t tag as ship/proshippers dni)
478 notes · View notes
Do You Know This Disabled Character?
Tumblr media
Retired Hunter Djura is blind in one eye.
174 notes · View notes