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agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
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The Broken Fan - Chapter 7
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: New life, New house, overwhelming isn't it?
Warnings: Panic attack, panicked reader, panicked Jensen, swearing
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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"How did it go?"
Jensen sulked in the doorway with a disappointed look and my heart nearly shattered in my chest. Today was the day he was telling Jared, his best friend, his brother, about us.
He was so excited, but so terrified. He wanted Jared to understand, to listen and really hear him out but to be fair, that is a difficult thing to do when your not in the situation. He was scared Jared was going to disapprove, or tell him he's being stupid. He was scared that his brother wouldn't stand behind him, wouldn't be there after this.
And from the look on his face, he was right. Jared didn't like us being together. He didn't approve at all. Jensen ducked his head as I rushed over with tears in my eyes, hugging him tightly to my chest. "I'm sorry Y/N." he spoke with a light giggle.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I pulled my head back, noticing the smirk on his face. Before I could say anything, he burst into laughter and raised his hands in defense. "I'm so sorry Honey, I was trying to mess around but you looked so cute and sad that I didn't know when to tell you I was joking."
My mouth gaped open and I had to hold back from laughing to get my sweet revenge. I plastered on the best hurt face I could and pushed my hands through my hair. "Wow Jensen... I can't believe... Why would you do that to me?"
His laughter stopped as his expression dropped, concerned eyes boring into mine. "Honey, I'm sorry, it was a stupid joke..."
I spun away from him to hide the smile. "Yes! It really was, actually it was cruel. Your a jerk." He reached out to touch me but I knew I had to present the grande finale before I could let him know I too was joking, so I rushed away to the bathroom and slammed the door.
A mere seconds later his knuckles were tapping on the door, his voice coming out soft and desperate. "Please come out, Y/N I'm so sorry, honey talk to me."
I shook my head and smiled before standing up and facing the door. "No, I'm sorry!"
"For what?"
Laughter started pouring out as I opened the door, watching the shocked expression appear on his face. "Sorry for getting you back."
He was frozen, his eyes darting around like he was trying to figure out how to react, but as soon as the wide smile appeared, we both burst into laughter, leaning into eachother.
"You are so evil!"
My head tilted back as laughter poured through me, "How am I evil? You started this!"
He shook his head as the laughter died down, eyes boring into mine with such love and adoration to the point where I could barely breathe just staring at him.
I cleared my throat and a nervous smile ghosted over my lips, "So seriously, how did it go?"
His smile nearly lit up the room as he pulled me into his chest, hugging me tightly. "It went really well. At first he was kind of silent and in shock, understandably, but he said he's never seen me this happy and just wants the best."
"That's amazing!" My heart was pounding in my chest and the relief soaked through. I knew Jared was the one person Jensen really counted on for their opinion and if he didn't approve or support this, I really don't know if Jensen would still be here with me.
"We should get ready to leave." Jensen mumbled in my hair, "I love you honey."
My heart melted, my eyes glancing up to face him, "I love you too Jensen. So much."
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You know those iconic movie scenes where the couple takes their very first road trip, and there's a whole montage of them singing together, sharing food, messing around with each other, and you just stop and think, my god how I want that?
I always thought those movie scenes were so cheesy and ridiculous. You can add romance to anything with the right music. But two hours ago, Jensen and I got in the car together and... well, there definitely should be a montage on our lovely road trip together.
Somehow, I felt closer to him than I've ever been, and we have only been driving for three hours now. We shared stories of our hardships and held each other's hand when it was too much, we laughed and made jokes and sang our hearts out and cried together.
These were the parts of our relationship that people didn't understand, from the outside it seemed so fast and stupid, I've only known him for two weeks.
But if they sat in this car and watched how we talked and loved each other, it would seem like we have been together for years.
I have been driving for the past two hours while Jensen napped on the sat beside me, head resting on the window. I couldn't help but allow my eyes to linger on his sleeping form, cringing everytime his head smacked against the window when I hit even the smallest of bumps.
My hand came on his shoulder gently as I shook him awake, "Hey, Jensen, c'mon lay your head on my lap, it's more comfy."
He smirked sleepily as he moved closer towards me, his head moving downwards to rest onto my lap, hand on my hip holding his place. Honestly, staring at the way he was laying on me, i had to hold back the tears at how adorable he was, how amazing it felt to be able to take care of him for a change.
It's insane how many things have changed since I came to the convention. I had a shitty job with an asshole boss, no friends or family, nobody to count on or talk to. I was alone and forgotten. Yet here I am, side by side with somebody amazing, somebody who genuinely cared about me, the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever baggage I had he was prepared to be there, and god I've never loved somebody more.
And I'd prove that to him, every single day.
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The GPS chimed through the silent car announcing that we were approaching our destination. I couldn't help but frown at the idea of the road trip being over, even as excited I was to start our new lives, I'd miss this.
I pulled on the side of the road, my hand resting on his cheek gently to wake him up. His eyes fluttered open and he yawned deep in his chest causing me to giggle. "You feel better?"
He nodded and kissed my leg before sitting up in his spot. "Thank you for letting me sleep honey, I'm sorry I didn't entertain you more."
"It's totally fine, you were tired." I reassured, leaning closer to peck his lips. "Also, staring at your cute face while you were sleeping was entertaining enough."
He smirked against my lips and deepened the kiss, making my head dizzy with lust. "Oh really?"
"Mhm."
He pulled away and winked, leaning back against the seat, "So instead of paying attention you decided to risk our lives because I was too cute?"
I nodded as a smile pulled on my lips, "It's worth it. Anyways, we are almost there, so I need you to let me know what I'm looking for"
"It's a house." He spoke, looking out the window, "Your almost on our street so just keep going and than turn left, it's the first one there."
The car rumbled back to life as I pulled onto the road, anticipation flowing through my body as the GPS announced we were pulling up. I was so excited yet every part of me was screaming in fear, this was it, the moment we started our lives offically.
I turned onto the street, my jaw dropping and eyes widening at the sight of the biggest house I've ever seen, surrounded by a beautiful white gated fence. There's no way that this is...
"This is it." He read my mind.
I pulled into the driveway and rolled down the window, staring at the place I was about to call my home, the emotions were overwhelming and nerve wrecking, yet filling me with unbelievable happiness at the same time.
"Wow Jensen.." I whispered nearly inaudibly, "Your house.. holy shit, this is gorgeous."
He chuckled deep in his chest as he leaned on his seat, pecking my head sweetly. "Our house baby."
i shook my head and turned towards him, the fear becoming more evident on my features causing him to frown. "I-I don't even know what to do with a house like this, I've only ever lived in my car."
His hand reached towards my cheek, brushing the skin with his thumb gently, "All you need to do is look pretty and get a good night's sleep, and you could never fail the pretty part."
I blushed deep in my cheeks and took a breath before I slid out of the car, waiting for him to join me. My heart was pounding with every step towards the door and my head was spinning, was I dreaming? There was no way this was real.
His hand reached to mine, squeezing tightly as he unlocked the door and gestured me inside.
My eyes were darting right and left, unsure where to land, or what to focus on first. I could feel my chest growing tighter as I waited for him to take the lead and thankfully he did.
He lead me room to room showing me around, and every room was just as much overwhelming as the next. I was confused, and unsure of myself. I've never lived in a house like this let alone stepped into a house like this before, how was I going to stay here everyday? What if this panic feeling inside my chest never goes away?
Don't get me wrong, the house was gorgeous, every little detail put in just opened my eyes to who Jensen really was, and I loved it, I could die happy in this house but the thought of me fitting in here was unsettling, how in the world was I going to even find my way around without Jensen being my personal tour guide?
"Jensen..." I whispered as my head grew dizzier by the second. He looked back at me with concern and worry in his eyes, stepping closer to hold my arm. "Can I sit down for a second?"
He nodded as he brought me to our new bed, sitting on the edge beside me. I took a shaky breath inside and leaned onto my knees.
His gaze stayed on me, hand rubbing my back gently as possible, "If it's too much we don't have to stay here honey, trust me it's fine."
My eyes shot to his in confusion, why would he ever leave this place for me? That would be selfish and wrong, terrible for me to ask, I could never do that.
I shook my head and sat up, my hand moving to my chest to try and ease my pounding heart. My eyes darted around the bedroom, it really was amazing. There were balcony doors right across the bed, a large in suite bathroom and a massive closet-not that i could benefit from because I have a maximum of two pairs of pants and 3 shirts.
Jensen leaned closer and grasped my hand in his and I could feel him staring me down with concern even if he didn't need to. I'd be fine, I was fine just overwhelmed and panicked about the feeling inside of me.
"Honey, talk to me please." He pleaded.
"It's stupid Jensen, seriously don't worry about it, I just need a second."
He pushed himself off the bed to in front of me in between my legs. I started into his eyes and swallowed the lump as the anxiety was ready to pour out like a cup that was being filled beyond the brim.
His eyes stayed locked in on mine, such heartbreak and fear overflowing them, and I realized i had to tell him, I had to open up even if it was scary, i owe that to him.
"I'm just... overwhelmed, it's a lot."
He nodded understandably, leaning down to press a kiss to my hand. "I know, i have no problem moving baby, I swear you matter more than four walls and a roof."
I shook my head frantically and stood up away from him. My chest was ready to explode, my air was being cut off and I couldn't see straight, it was too much.
"I-I don't want that, the house is great, gorgeous really. It's just... I've only lived in my car really, and I've never been in a place like this. I'm terrified that I don't fit in this lifestyle, that you made a mistake picking me."
He stood up quickly and wrapped his arms around me from behind, holding me to his chest tightly. His lips pressed down on my head over and over, physically trying to reassure me that he had me, and I wanted it to work, but god it felt like I was being held underwater and nobody could pull me up.
i tried to focus on the way he was telling me to breathe, saying that everything was okay but i was having a difficult time grasping what the hell I was doing here. My mind was swarming with awful thoughts the more I stood here, my eyes taking everything in.
Suddenly the room felt smaller and suffocating, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe.
Jensen stilled against me as he heard my breathing cut off, his head turning to check my expression. He sucked in a harsh breath as he saw my expression, noted how I was pale and struggling to let air inside my lungs.
Without thinking he turned me towards him, pulling me down to sit on the floor in front of him. His hands came on my cheeks as they fluttered in exhaustion. "Honey, Breathe, please breathe."
With a shaky hand, I grabbed the coller of his shirt and held as tight as I could, "I-I can't..."
His concern only grew as he watched the weakness settle in, the light dim from my eyes, and my lips turning light blue.
"Look at me!" He all but yelled causing me to jump, "Look. Take a deep breath okay, Count to 5 and inhale... good now exhale."
I followed his direction the best I could and what felt like forever later, a huge breath of air shot down my throat. We sat in silence as i came down, Jensen waiting until I was breathing stable to relax himself.
"I'm sorry... Jensen." my throat croaked out.
He shook his head and pulled me tight into his lap, "Don't apologize, ever, for feeling the way you do. It's a lot, especially for somebody who's never been in a place like this. Whatever you want to do to make this place more homey for you, let's do it. We can put your clothes away later so it feels a bit more like yours, small steps."
I scoffed and shook my head, "I have no clothes, no stuff, not really."
"He smiled gently, "You will tomorrow, we are going to go shopping."
"No." I nearly yelled, "Your not buying me stuff, I wouldn't be able to pay you back and I don't want you to do that for me."
He rolled his eyes and laughed, "Sweetie, your my girlfriend and I love you. I want to take care of you and that includes making sure my lil lady has clothing and stuff for our new house, right?"
I nodded as my thoughts wandered. How was it that after two weeks, we were so serious. How were we moving this fast? How was he so perfect for me... ME?
"Jensen, can I ask you something?" I whispered.
"Of course."
I sighed and turned towards him. "Do you think we are crazy? I mean... we just met two weeks ago and we are living with eachother, your buying me things and we are saying I love you. Are we completly out of our minds?"
Laughter rumbled out of his chest like thunder as he leaned back, face filled with amusement. "Yeah. I think we are. But what we feel inside is real. I know that i love you, and yes your right it is fast but I think we are making up for lost time. You mean a lot to me Y/N and I really do love you, I don't understand how i fell so fast but all i know is that when I look at you, I know this is meant to be."
My heart swelled as I leaned forward, kissing him deeply with every emotion I could, "I love you too, so much Jensen. Your right, this is meant to be."
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp @creative-writing92
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agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
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The Broken Fan - Chapter 6
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: Jensen and I face some hardships that shouldn't have occured, and he gives me a wonderful surprise.
Warnings: Fighting, mentions of physical assault, descriptions of physical assault/fight, swearing, mentions of injury and blood.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Jensen's POV
The auditorium was filled with people who were cheering and screaming my name, but the only sound that came out clearly was that of my own heart pounding loudly in my ears, like a heavy drum or the rain beating on a window pane.
The memories of our previous conversation was on loop in my mind, the excitement nearly overtaking my body. I couldn't wait. But it was also terrifying at the same time, maybe more in a good way.
You know when you go to the fair and you see a ride you really want to go on, but the fear nearly talks you out of it? Your hands shake, your legs feel like jello, your heart almost skips right out of your chest and for a second you feel like you can't do this, you just want to leave, run away screaming, hide.
But whenever you finally get on that ride and it starts, the fear starts to dissipate and turn into adrenaline instead. Your grimace turns into a smile, screams into laughter, fear into fun.
That's what I was feeling. So excited, but so fucking scared of the uncertainty. What if it goes wrong? What if I ruin her? What if she ruins me?
Sitting next to my best friend, I couldn't help but wonder what he would think of all this. Was I being crazy? Was this too fast?
Either way, if this was wrong, than I never wanted to be right.
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Back to me
It's only been an hour and a half since Jensen left for the panel but I already missed him with every fibre of my being. Was he thinking of me too? Was he okay?
I had to admit, as soon as he left I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't understand how this is real life, how this is happening to me out of all people. Why would he ever want me this way?
My thoughts were heading straight into overdrive as I sat there, alone, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get out of this stuffy hotel room, away from the silence and the scent of him that drove me crazy.
Quickly grabbing my purse, I headed down the hallway to the elevators, thanking Jensen ahead of time for having a private floor so I wouldn't be caught by any superfans up here.
I wasn't ashamed in any form, but I knew how it already looked by us being together, and I haven't even spoken to him about how this could affect our personal lives when word gets out. I couldn't do that to him, so I'd be as careful as could be.
As soon as the elevator doors opened, my chest tightened with anxiety. Fans were everywhere, crowding around the lobby, nearly pressed into each other. I checked the time and realized quickly why, the panel just ended and Jensen was going to be signing soon.
I walked around sheepishly as I stared at the booths set up, trying to stay calm in the sea of voices and screams. I never really was good with crowds of people, and this... well this was my nightmare.
Suddenly, a warm feeling rushed over me, one that I've only ever felt when Jensen was around. The exact same feeling I had when he stared at me from the stage on the day we met.
I lifted my head up as my eyes scanned the room, falling straight onto my person. He was standing at the back of the room in front of his table, a wide smile spread across his face as he waved gently. I smiled and waved back before walking towards where he was.
I was so distracted by his eyes on mine, I didn't notice the same two girls from the other day approaching me from behind. I didn't notice Jensen's smile fading as he tried to move, but was asked to sit down.
Vanessa's rough grip on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts as she spun me towards herself and Amber. They smirked mischievously and I returned with a roll of my eyes, sick of their drama and pettiness.
"Y/N, Wow I didn't expect you to be back after you completely embarrassed yourself in front of Jensen yesterday." She stated smugly.
I laughed underneath my breath and turned to continue walking towards Jensen's tables, as I called out over my shoulder, "The only one embarrassing themselves is you, sweetie."
I was so close to him, only a few feet away but Vanessa wouldn't let up. She grabbed me once again and pulled me closer to her. "Are you one of those crazy fans? The ones that try to pry their way into Jensen's life?"
I scoffed in response, "Not that it's any of your business but you have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh really?" She hissed, as she pulled her phone from her purse, a picture of Jensen and I at the bar last night facing me. I swallowed hard and kept my eyes down, avoiding giving any information out.
"Explain this than."
I yanked my arm from her grip and backed up, "I don't owe you anything, leave me alone Vanessa."
I managed to walk away and get closer to the table, my eyes catching Jensen's worried and concerned expression spread across his face. I offered a reassuring smile, hoping that he could relax and have a good time, he didn't need to worry about this, not now.
I took a deep breath as I tried to push the anxiety out, but as soon as I felt her standing behind me, my nerves only grew. I rolled my eyes and turned towards her, "Listen Vanessa, I understand that your obsessed with Jensen, maybe a little too much, but your not his mother. You aren't his type either so maybe just worry about yourself rather than worry about an actor that doesn't even know you exist."
With that, I turned towards Jensen and gave him a smile before walking back towards the elevator, but unfortunately only made it two steps before a rather large impact hit my back and I quickly fell to the floor.
I turned on my back and before I could react, Vanessa jumped on top of me and started throwing punches, one after another. I held my hands up to block the hits but the little bitch was quick, she threw punch after punch before somebody finally tried to pull her off of me.
I could feel my face bleeding as she kept hitting, kept fighting to attack me, for god knows what reason. I could have easily defended myself, hell I've had fights with people three times bigger than her, but this was Jensen's convention I wasn't going to stoop to her level, I wasn't going to cause a scene here, not in Jensen's place.
Her weight was lifted off of my body and a breath of relief filled my lungs when I realized security pulled her off. My head lulled back onto the floor as I tried to keep calm, praying that I didn't look as bad as I felt.
I turned to face Jensen who was standing only a few feet away, a deep look of heartbreak and desperation covering his face. He tried to come closer, but another security guard had their hand up, blocking him from leaving. I watched as he leaned closer, whispering something to the woman before he disappeared out of my vision.
She came closer to me, slowly helping me stand from my spot before grabbing my arm to lead me out. I was convinced she was kicking me out when she brought me down the hallways to a securely locked door, but when I looked at her with surprise and she offered nothing but a reassuring smile, I figured out what Jensen told her.
Before I knew it, we walked through a door with his name on it and I was in a room that looked like a lounge. She kindly helped me sit before offering to clean my wounds but I politely declined, all I wanted was to see Jensen. He would help me.
She left as soon as he walked in and he stilled at the sight of me up close. A look of dread and heartbreak covered his face as he rushed over to my side, crouching in front of me. "Jesus honey, are you alright?"
I nodded sadly and shrugged, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."
He shook his head and leaned upwards, laying a deep kiss to my temple. "Don't apologize." He reassured as he grabbed a towel to clean the blood off, "Why didn't you hit her back?"
"Because I knew if I did, in the long run that would look horrible on you. If we ever became public people would know me as the girl who got in a fight at the convention. That's not fair to you."
He scoffed as he gently wiped the blood from my eyes. "So you just took a bunch of hits to protect my image?"
"Yes." I stated as I shoved his hand down, "And I would do it again in a heartbeat Jensen. I've been hit before, it's no big deal."
He flinched as soon as the words left my mouth and his head dropped, the image of me ever being hit tearing at his soul.
He shook his head and sighed deeply, "Sweetie, I appreciate what you were trying to do but I want you to defend yourself when somebody hurts you, I don't want to be the reason you get the shit beaten out of you."
I smiled and leaned closer to him, reaching my hand to his chin and bringing it up to face me, "Trust me, in another place I would have kicked her ass but not in a convention-your convention, not when we are about to start our life together."
He frowned as the towel dropped in his lap, his head falling slightly. Guilt filled me as I watched how sad and broken he looked, "Listen, I know you don't understand. But I promise, I'm fine. If I felt like that bitch was going to kill me, I would have 100% defended myself but I knew she was pissed off and was going to get stopped by security, and she did."
"I just..." He whispered, "I hate the idea that you have been hit before, and especially seeing it for myself today. I wish I could have helped."
"I know Jensen. But the way I've grown up, I've had to learn how to defend myself. I know how to handle it and when not to say or do anything. Today, I shouldn't have said anything but I did because she was insulting us. That was my bad so whatever happened after that was my-"
His face shot up as a stern look appeared on his face, "Don't you dare say it was your fault."
I couldn't help but smile at the protective side of Jensen, it was hot and cute at the same time and it made my heart melt knowing he cared this much about me.
"I promise I'm okay." I spoke softly, leaning closer to him.
"Okay." He smiled softly. "I trust you."
"Okay, well you have to get back out there before the fans start busting down the doors trying to find you."
A whole hearted laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head at me, "I will but first let me clean you up."
The room was filled with a comfortable silence as he worked on getting the blood off of me, occasionally placing bandages on the bigger areas that were still bleeding, and by the time he was done, I knew I was even more in love with him than I've ever been.
He smiled and leaned closer, capturing my lips with his in a passionate and meaningful way. I smirked against him as he seperated, standing to help me up off the couch and into his arms tightly.
“Okay I should go.” He sighed, walking back towards the door but stopping before he could turn the knob. “I’ll be back soon. Can you try not to get punched by any more crazy fan girls while I’m gone?”
A loud giggle escaped my mouth as I rushed towards the door, leaning on my tiptoes to peck his lips over and over. I couldn’t get enough of him. I smirked and pulled away, “I’ll try but no promises. Being with you might mean I piss off more people than intended.”
A loud chuckle filled his throat as he shook his head and I swore I’ve never heard something so beautiful in my life. He winked before opening the door and quickly shutting it behind him, leaving me in the room to wait patiently, if I could do that.
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It’s been a good two hours since he left and the separation was already tearing at my soul. It was ridiculous, I should be able to get through a few hours without him, I lived years without even knowing him. What the hell kind of hold did he have on me.
I walked towards the mirror and froze at my reflection, laughing lightly at the site of the bruises and cuts all over my face. I’ll definitely give her this, for a small girl she could really hit.
It amazed me more than pissed me off, the fact that I allowed somebody like her to even try to hurt me like that, was a shock itself.
I’ve been in a few fights in my lifetime, I mean you kind’ve have to be ready for one when your living on the street and the more I ran into people who wanted to start something, the more I learned about self defence.
I wasn’t an animal, I didn’t want to fight or even learn how to, but being a young woman living in a car I’d occasionally run into the stray drunk men who didn’t want to take no for an answer, and local crackheads who wanted to steal my home.
And not once have I ever let somebody attack me or say the things they’ve said about somebody I cared about without hitting back but Jensen was worth it. He was worth everything.
A ping on my phone interrupted my thoughts and an instant smile erupted on my face when I saw his name.
>>Meet me in the back alley in 10 mins, I have a suprise for you.<<
My heart was pounding as I stared at the message, a deep confusion spreading throughout me.
I’ve never gotten a surprise before and the idea of Jensen sneaking around planning something for me, well it made me feel like an excited little girl on her birthday.
I made my way out the hallways and found the exit, stepping outside before my eyes fell on him. He smiled and pushed himself off the wall, towards a large item hidden underneath a tarp.
“What’s going on?” I smiled nervously as he led me towards the covered mystery. His smile was bright and filled with joy as he led me towards the mystery present, hands holding mine tightly in his own.
“You know how yesterday you told me that you had no life here except for me? Well, I realized that this wasn’t the full truth. You do have a life here. One that you can bring with us.”
I titled my head quizzically before he moved towards the tarp and pulled it off, instantly filling me with shock. I gasped as I backed up, tears filling my eyes at my most prized possession. The home I thought I lost.
My car.
My eyes darted between my baby and him as I struggled to find the words. “Jensen… what did you… How did you…?”
He chuckled and stepped closer, hands resting on my shoulders to bring me back to earth. “Amber. When I went back to the signing, she came up to the counter and apologized for Vanessa, than she told me that she was the one who called the tow truck because Vanessa made her. I asked her what type of car, got the info and sent one of my handlers to go get it for you.”
The tears started rushing down my cheeks as I realized how much I really adored this man. He didn’t have to do this and he knew it, but he wanted to. This had to be the most thoughtful action somebody’s ever shown me.
“Jensen..” I whispered as I leaned my head against his chest, holding him tightly against me. “Thank you..”
He nodded, a gentle yet firm kissed pressed on top of my head as his arms tightened around me. “Of course. I know she’s a big part of your life, and she was your home before you met me, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to take a road trip back home tomorrow. It’s a long drive so of course only if your up to it. We could always get her shipped out to Texas.”
My smile spread across my lips as I lifted my head to face him, “I’d love that.”
He leaned down gently before pushing his lips against mine, slowly leading me against the wall. My back was pressed as his hand move to my cheek, deepening the kiss with such love and passion I was seeing stars.
A loud clang interrupted our movements, and we quickly stood straight, trying to focus on where the source came from.
His face dropped when he noticed, his hand moving to my arm to grab mine and pull me away. I froze when I spotted what he was staring at, Vanessa.
Jensen tugged on my arm and I shook my head before pushing him gently behind the car to hide him away from her sight. I leaned against the wall and shook my head, “What do you want?”
She scoffed and stepped closer, inches away from me. “You got me kicked out of the convention you bitch.”
I all but laughed as I kicked off the wall, standing directly in front of her. “I actually didn’t do anything, your the freak who jumped me in the middle of the room.”
“Yeah! Because you are some sort of stalker fan girl who tricked their way into Jensen’s life. You have to be an idiot if you’d ever think he’d fall for a ugly homeless chick like you.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, footsteps started approaching us and I sighed. Clearly Jensen heard enough and was about done with this conversation, as was I.
The look on her face when she spotted him was nearly hysterical, yet aggravated me to the core. She was staring at him with such fake love in her eyes and it drove me crazy. She thought she loved him but she didn’t know a single thing about him, she didn’t have what we did.
“Actually Vanessa” I spoke, interrupting her trance. “He fell for me without even knowing I was homeless. Your attempt to break us apart has failed, it only brought us closer together.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes as she pushed passed me, nearly knocking me on my ass. I bit my tongue in anger as I watched her step inches from Jensen, her hand coming to his chest. “Jensen, I can offer you so much more than this piece of trash, dump her and let me show you how happy I could make you.”
Before Jensen could react or even respond, I lost my cool. I rushed towards her, my arm wrapping around her waist as I spun her to the ground. She fell on her knees and looked up at me with such anger and aggression I nearly felt bad for her.
She quickly stood and came closer until she was merely inches from my face and I instantly knew where this was going. I’ve been in this situation before and the two things I learned were to never show fear, and never back down.
Jensen grabbed my hand and shook his head, “No, this isn’t happening. C’mon.” He tried to pull me away but before we knew it, Vanessa jumped on top of me and pulled me to the ground, just like she did inside the hotel.
Jensen tried to jump in but my hand quickly rested on his leg, pushing him back. The last thing we need is for her to claim assault against him because he was defending me. No, this was my fight and I was going to end it.
I let her get a hit in before my arm came up behind her head, swinging her downwards until she fell directly beside me, causing me to jump on her and lay one hard hit onto her face. I stood up quickly and walked back to Jensen, nearly laughing at the way Vanessa was staring into space with such a confused look on her face.
I leaned closer to her and sighed, “You know why Jensen chose me? Because I don’t act like a crazy fucking bitch like you do. I don’t attack fans based on the fact that they got closer to the man they think they love. You don’t know him, I know him. The only damn reason I let you beat the shit out of me in there was because that was his territory, his place. It wasn’t mine to cause a scene, but you did that yourself. The only reason why I haven’t completely kicked your ass right here and now is because you are not worth it. So get over it. Get over the fact that Jensen fell in love with me and not with you and god damn it Vanessa, grow the fuck up.”
She stayed silent, a look of anger and defeat on her face as she stood from her spot and walked away, leaving us alone in the empty alley.
As soon as she left, I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding in, and swayed against the wall, head resting against the brick to try and keep my composure.
Jensen's hand immediately came to my shoulder as waves of adrenaline shook me to my core. His hand rubbed gently, easing some of the nerves I was still holding onto.
"Are you okay?" He spoke gently.
I shook my head and turned towards him, tears threatening to pour out at any second. "I will be."
His eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked me up and down, "Did she hit you hard?"
"No, that was just.. really scary." My voice cracked as the tears started to fall.
For a second he looked surprised and it nearly made me laugh, but also made me feel so stupid. His arms pulled me closer into his chest and I breathed him in, the scent of his cologne relaxing me in a way I didn't know could happen.
"I didn't know you were scared baby."
I nodded against his chest, "Of course I was scared, I'm not a heartless monster. I hate fighting. I just do it because I have to, but you never know how it's going to end until it's done, and when it's finally finished, god it shakes you."
He nodded understandably as his lips pressed deep onto my forehead, hands rubbing my back in reassurance that he was here and I could finally breathe easily.
The silence was comforting and relaxing in a strange way, the sound of his heartbeat in my ear calmed my tense muscles and I swore I could just live in this moment with him forever.
His chin rubbed against my head as he sighed contently, lifting to take a look at my state. He smiled gently when he noticed the relaxed look across my face, a kiss being pressed gently against my lips. "Are you okay now?"
I nodded, "Mhm, i'm good. Thanks Jensen."
He broke the distance first, backing up and grabbing my hand tightly in his before he stopped to turn towards me, "I do.... you know?"
I stared back quizzically which made him chuckle, a deep red colour spreading across his freckled cheeks.
"Love you... You told Vanessa that I fell in love with you. I think you were saying that to piss her off but you know I do right?"
My heart pounded in my ears and I could feel the blood rushing to my head as those three words I haven't heard before fall from his lips. He... loved me?
"You do?" I questioned nearly inaudibly.
He nodded and this time he was the one who was filled with anxiety, he was the one who was scared. I smiled wide and jumped in his arms, loud laughter erupting from both of us.
"I love you too Jensen."
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp @creative-writing92
50 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 6
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: Jensen and I face some hardships that shouldn't have occured, and he gives me a wonderful surprise.
Warnings: Fighting, mentions of physical assault, descriptions of physical assault/fight, swearing, mentions of injury and blood.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Jensen's POV
The auditorium was filled with people who were cheering and screaming my name, but the only sound that came out clearly was that of my own heart pounding loudly in my ears, like a heavy drum or the rain beating on a window pane.
The memories of our previous conversation was on loop in my mind, the excitement nearly overtaking my body. I couldn't wait. But it was also terrifying at the same time, maybe more in a good way.
You know when you go to the fair and you see a ride you really want to go on, but the fear nearly talks you out of it? Your hands shake, your legs feel like jello, your heart almost skips right out of your chest and for a second you feel like you can't do this, you just want to leave, run away screaming, hide.
But whenever you finally get on that ride and it starts, the fear starts to dissipate and turn into adrenaline instead. Your grimace turns into a smile, screams into laughter, fear into fun.
That's what I was feeling. So excited, but so fucking scared of the uncertainty. What if it goes wrong? What if I ruin her? What if she ruins me?
Sitting next to my best friend, I couldn't help but wonder what he would think of all this. Was I being crazy? Was this too fast?
Either way, if this was wrong, than I never wanted to be right.
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Back to me
It's only been an hour and a half since Jensen left for the panel but I already missed him with every fibre of my being. Was he thinking of me too? Was he okay?
I had to admit, as soon as he left I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't understand how this is real life, how this is happening to me out of all people. Why would he ever want me this way?
My thoughts were heading straight into overdrive as I sat there, alone, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get out of this stuffy hotel room, away from the silence and the scent of him that drove me crazy.
Quickly grabbing my purse, I headed down the hallway to the elevators, thanking Jensen ahead of time for having a private floor so I wouldn't be caught by any superfans up here.
I wasn't ashamed in any form, but I knew how it already looked by us being together, and I haven't even spoken to him about how this could affect our personal lives when word gets out. I couldn't do that to him, so I'd be as careful as could be.
As soon as the elevator doors opened, my chest tightened with anxiety. Fans were everywhere, crowding around the lobby, nearly pressed into each other. I checked the time and realized quickly why, the panel just ended and Jensen was going to be signing soon.
I walked around sheepishly as I stared at the booths set up, trying to stay calm in the sea of voices and screams. I never really was good with crowds of people, and this... well this was my nightmare.
Suddenly, a warm feeling rushed over me, one that I've only ever felt when Jensen was around. The exact same feeling I had when he stared at me from the stage on the day we met.
I lifted my head up as my eyes scanned the room, falling straight onto my person. He was standing at the back of the room in front of his table, a wide smile spread across his face as he waved gently. I smiled and waved back before walking towards where he was.
I was so distracted by his eyes on mine, I didn't notice the same two girls from the other day approaching me from behind. I didn't notice Jensen's smile fading as he tried to move, but was asked to sit down.
Vanessa's rough grip on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts as she spun me towards herself and Amber. They smirked mischievously and I returned with a roll of my eyes, sick of their drama and pettiness.
"Y/N, Wow I didn't expect you to be back after you completely embarrassed yourself in front of Jensen yesterday." She stated smugly.
I laughed underneath my breath and turned to continue walking towards Jensen's tables, as I called out over my shoulder, "The only one embarrassing themselves is you, sweetie."
I was so close to him, only a few feet away but Vanessa wouldn't let up. She grabbed me once again and pulled me closer to her. "Are you one of those crazy fans? The ones that try to pry their way into Jensen's life?"
I scoffed in response, "Not that it's any of your business but you have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh really?" She hissed, as she pulled her phone from her purse, a picture of Jensen and I at the bar last night facing me. I swallowed hard and kept my eyes down, avoiding giving any information out.
"Explain this than."
I yanked my arm from her grip and backed up, "I don't owe you anything, leave me alone Vanessa."
I managed to walk away and get closer to the table, my eyes catching Jensen's worried and concerned expression spread across his face. I offered a reassuring smile, hoping that he could relax and have a good time, he didn't need to worry about this, not now.
I took a deep breath as I tried to push the anxiety out, but as soon as I felt her standing behind me, my nerves only grew. I rolled my eyes and turned towards her, "Listen Vanessa, I understand that your obsessed with Jensen, maybe a little too much, but your not his mother. You aren't his type either so maybe just worry about yourself rather than worry about an actor that doesn't even know you exist."
With that, I turned towards Jensen and gave him a smile before walking back towards the elevator, but unfortunately only made it two steps before a rather large impact hit my back and I quickly fell to the floor.
I turned on my back and before I could react, Vanessa jumped on top of me and started throwing punches, one after another. I held my hands up to block the hits but the little bitch was quick, she threw punch after punch before somebody finally tried to pull her off of me.
I could feel my face bleeding as she kept hitting, kept fighting to attack me, for god knows what reason. I could have easily defended myself, hell I've had fights with people three times bigger than her, but this was Jensen's convention I wasn't going to stoop to her level, I wasn't going to cause a scene here, not in Jensen's place.
Her weight was lifted off of my body and a breath of relief filled my lungs when I realized security pulled her off. My head lulled back onto the floor as I tried to keep calm, praying that I didn't look as bad as I felt.
I turned to face Jensen who was standing only a few feet away, a deep look of heartbreak and desperation covering his face. He tried to come closer, but another security guard had their hand up, blocking him from leaving. I watched as he leaned closer, whispering something to the woman before he disappeared out of my vision.
She came closer to me, slowly helping me stand from my spot before grabbing my arm to lead me out. I was convinced she was kicking me out when she brought me down the hallways to a securely locked door, but when I looked at her with surprise and she offered nothing but a reassuring smile, I figured out what Jensen told her.
Before I knew it, we walked through a door with his name on it and I was in a room that looked like a lounge. She kindly helped me sit before offering to clean my wounds but I politely declined, all I wanted was to see Jensen. He would help me.
She left as soon as he walked in and he stilled at the sight of me up close. A look of dread and heartbreak covered his face as he rushed over to my side, crouching in front of me. "Jesus honey, are you alright?"
I nodded sadly and shrugged, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."
He shook his head and leaned upwards, laying a deep kiss to my temple. "Don't apologize." He reassured as he grabbed a towel to clean the blood off, "Why didn't you hit her back?"
"Because I knew if I did, in the long run that would look horrible on you. If we ever became public people would know me as the girl who got in a fight at the convention. That's not fair to you."
He scoffed as he gently wiped the blood from my eyes. "So you just took a bunch of hits to protect my image?"
"Yes." I stated as I shoved his hand down, "And I would do it again in a heartbeat Jensen. I've been hit before, it's no big deal."
He flinched as soon as the words left my mouth and his head dropped, the image of me ever being hit tearing at his soul.
He shook his head and sighed deeply, "Sweetie, I appreciate what you were trying to do but I want you to defend yourself when somebody hurts you, I don't want to be the reason you get the shit beaten out of you."
I smiled and leaned closer to him, reaching my hand to his chin and bringing it up to face me, "Trust me, in another place I would have kicked her ass but not in a convention-your convention, not when we are about to start our life together."
He frowned as the towel dropped in his lap, his head falling slightly. Guilt filled me as I watched how sad and broken he looked, "Listen, I know you don't understand. But I promise, I'm fine. If I felt like that bitch was going to kill me, I would have 100% defended myself but I knew she was pissed off and was going to get stopped by security, and she did."
"I just..." He whispered, "I hate the idea that you have been hit before, and especially seeing it for myself today. I wish I could have helped."
"I know Jensen. But the way I've grown up, I've had to learn how to defend myself. I know how to handle it and when not to say or do anything. Today, I shouldn't have said anything but I did because she was insulting us. That was my bad so whatever happened after that was my-"
His face shot up as a stern look appeared on his face, "Don't you dare say it was your fault."
I couldn't help but smile at the protective side of Jensen, it was hot and cute at the same time and it made my heart melt knowing he cared this much about me.
"I promise I'm okay." I spoke softly, leaning closer to him.
"Okay." He smiled softly. "I trust you."
"Okay, well you have to get back out there before the fans start busting down the doors trying to find you."
A whole hearted laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head at me, "I will but first let me clean you up."
The room was filled with a comfortable silence as he worked on getting the blood off of me, occasionally placing bandages on the bigger areas that were still bleeding, and by the time he was done, I knew I was even more in love with him than I've ever been.
He smiled and leaned closer, capturing my lips with his in a passionate and meaningful way. I smirked against him as he seperated, standing to help me up off the couch and into his arms tightly.
“Okay I should go.” He sighed, walking back towards the door but stopping before he could turn the knob. “I’ll be back soon. Can you try not to get punched by any more crazy fan girls while I’m gone?”
A loud giggle escaped my mouth as I rushed towards the door, leaning on my tiptoes to peck his lips over and over. I couldn’t get enough of him. I smirked and pulled away, “I’ll try but no promises. Being with you might mean I piss off more people than intended.”
A loud chuckle filled his throat as he shook his head and I swore I’ve never heard something so beautiful in my life. He winked before opening the door and quickly shutting it behind him, leaving me in the room to wait patiently, if I could do that.
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It’s been a good two hours since he left and the separation was already tearing at my soul. It was ridiculous, I should be able to get through a few hours without him, I lived years without even knowing him. What the hell kind of hold did he have on me.
I walked towards the mirror and froze at my reflection, laughing lightly at the site of the bruises and cuts all over my face. I’ll definitely give her this, for a small girl she could really hit.
It amazed me more than pissed me off, the fact that I allowed somebody like her to even try to hurt me like that, was a shock itself.
I’ve been in a few fights in my lifetime, I mean you kind’ve have to be ready for one when your living on the street and the more I ran into people who wanted to start something, the more I learned about self defence.
I wasn’t an animal, I didn’t want to fight or even learn how to, but being a young woman living in a car I’d occasionally run into the stray drunk men who didn’t want to take no for an answer, and local crackheads who wanted to steal my home.
And not once have I ever let somebody attack me or say the things they’ve said about somebody I cared about without hitting back but Jensen was worth it. He was worth everything.
A ping on my phone interrupted my thoughts and an instant smile erupted on my face when I saw his name.
>>Meet me in the back alley in 10 mins, I have a suprise for you.<<
My heart was pounding as I stared at the message, a deep confusion spreading throughout me.
I’ve never gotten a surprise before and the idea of Jensen sneaking around planning something for me, well it made me feel like an excited little girl on her birthday.
I made my way out the hallways and found the exit, stepping outside before my eyes fell on him. He smiled and pushed himself off the wall, towards a large item hidden underneath a tarp.
“What’s going on?” I smiled nervously as he led me towards the covered mystery. His smile was bright and filled with joy as he led me towards the mystery present, hands holding mine tightly in his own.
“You know how yesterday you told me that you had no life here except for me? Well, I realized that this wasn’t the full truth. You do have a life here. One that you can bring with us.”
I titled my head quizzically before he moved towards the tarp and pulled it off, instantly filling me with shock. I gasped as I backed up, tears filling my eyes at my most prized possession. The home I thought I lost.
My car.
My eyes darted between my baby and him as I struggled to find the words. “Jensen… what did you… How did you…?”
He chuckled and stepped closer, hands resting on my shoulders to bring me back to earth. “Amber. When I went back to the signing, she came up to the counter and apologized for Vanessa, than she told me that she was the one who called the tow truck because Vanessa made her. I asked her what type of car, got the info and sent one of my handlers to go get it for you.”
The tears started rushing down my cheeks as I realized how much I really adored this man. He didn’t have to do this and he knew it, but he wanted to. This had to be the most thoughtful action somebody’s ever shown me.
“Jensen..” I whispered as I leaned my head against his chest, holding him tightly against me. “Thank you..”
He nodded, a gentle yet firm kissed pressed on top of my head as his arms tightened around me. “Of course. I know she’s a big part of your life, and she was your home before you met me, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to take a road trip back home tomorrow. It’s a long drive so of course only if your up to it. We could always get her shipped out to Texas.”
My smile spread across my lips as I lifted my head to face him, “I’d love that.”
He leaned down gently before pushing his lips against mine, slowly leading me against the wall. My back was pressed as his hand move to my cheek, deepening the kiss with such love and passion I was seeing stars.
A loud clang interrupted our movements, and we quickly stood straight, trying to focus on where the source came from.
His face dropped when he noticed, his hand moving to my arm to grab mine and pull me away. I froze when I spotted what he was staring at, Vanessa.
Jensen tugged on my arm and I shook my head before pushing him gently behind the car to hide him away from her sight. I leaned against the wall and shook my head, “What do you want?”
She scoffed and stepped closer, inches away from me. “You got me kicked out of the convention you bitch.”
I all but laughed as I kicked off the wall, standing directly in front of her. “I actually didn’t do anything, your the freak who jumped me in the middle of the room.”
“Yeah! Because you are some sort of stalker fan girl who tricked their way into Jensen’s life. You have to be an idiot if you’d ever think he’d fall for a ugly homeless chick like you.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, footsteps started approaching us and I sighed. Clearly Jensen heard enough and was about done with this conversation, as was I.
The look on her face when she spotted him was nearly hysterical, yet aggravated me to the core. She was staring at him with such fake love in her eyes and it drove me crazy. She thought she loved him but she didn’t know a single thing about him, she didn’t have what we did.
“Actually Vanessa” I spoke, interrupting her trance. “He fell for me without even knowing I was homeless. Your attempt to break us apart has failed, it only brought us closer together.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes as she pushed passed me, nearly knocking me on my ass. I bit my tongue in anger as I watched her step inches from Jensen, her hand coming to his chest. “Jensen, I can offer you so much more than this piece of trash, dump her and let me show you how happy I could make you.”
Before Jensen could react or even respond, I lost my cool. I rushed towards her, my arm wrapping around her waist as I spun her to the ground. She fell on her knees and looked up at me with such anger and aggression I nearly felt bad for her.
She quickly stood and came closer until she was merely inches from my face and I instantly knew where this was going. I’ve been in this situation before and the two things I learned were to never show fear, and never back down.
Jensen grabbed my hand and shook his head, “No, this isn’t happening. C’mon.” He tried to pull me away but before we knew it, Vanessa jumped on top of me and pulled me to the ground, just like she did inside the hotel.
Jensen tried to jump in but my hand quickly rested on his leg, pushing him back. The last thing we need is for her to claim assault against him because he was defending me. No, this was my fight and I was going to end it.
I let her get a hit in before my arm came up behind her head, swinging her downwards until she fell directly beside me, causing me to jump on her and lay one hard hit onto her face. I stood up quickly and walked back to Jensen, nearly laughing at the way Vanessa was staring into space with such a confused look on her face.
I leaned closer to her and sighed, “You know why Jensen chose me? Because I don’t act like a crazy fucking bitch like you do. I don’t attack fans based on the fact that they got closer to the man they think they love. You don’t know him, I know him. The only damn reason I let you beat the shit out of me in there was because that was his territory, his place. It wasn’t mine to cause a scene, but you did that yourself. The only reason why I haven’t completely kicked your ass right here and now is because you are not worth it. So get over it. Get over the fact that Jensen fell in love with me and not with you and god damn it Vanessa, grow the fuck up.”
She stayed silent, a look of anger and defeat on her face as she stood from her spot and walked away, leaving us alone in the empty alley.
As soon as she left, I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding in, and swayed against the wall, head resting against the brick to try and keep my composure.
Jensen's hand immediately came to my shoulder as waves of adrenaline shook me to my core. His hand rubbed gently, easing some of the nerves I was still holding onto.
"Are you okay?" He spoke gently.
I shook my head and turned towards him, tears threatening to pour out at any second. "I will be."
His eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked me up and down, "Did she hit you hard?"
"No, that was just.. really scary." My voice cracked as the tears started to fall.
For a second he looked surprised and it nearly made me laugh, but also made me feel so stupid. His arms pulled me closer into his chest and I breathed him in, the scent of his cologne relaxing me in a way I didn't know could happen.
"I didn't know you were scared baby."
I nodded against his chest, "Of course I was scared, I'm not a heartless monster. I hate fighting. I just do it because I have to, but you never know how it's going to end until it's done, and when it's finally finished, god it shakes you."
He nodded understandably as his lips pressed deep onto my forehead, hands rubbing my back in reassurance that he was here and I could finally breathe easily.
The silence was comforting and relaxing in a strange way, the sound of his heartbeat in my ear calmed my tense muscles and I swore I could just live in this moment with him forever.
His chin rubbed against my head as he sighed contently, lifting to take a look at my state. He smiled gently when he noticed the relaxed look across my face, a kiss being pressed gently against my lips. "Are you okay now?"
I nodded, "Mhm, i'm good. Thanks Jensen."
He broke the distance first, backing up and grabbing my hand tightly in his before he stopped to turn towards me, "I do.... you know?"
I stared back quizzically which made him chuckle, a deep red colour spreading across his freckled cheeks.
"Love you... You told Vanessa that I fell in love with you. I think you were saying that to piss her off but you know I do right?"
My heart pounded in my ears and I could feel the blood rushing to my head as those three words I haven't heard before fall from his lips. He... loved me?
"You do?" I questioned nearly inaudibly.
He nodded and this time he was the one who was filled with anxiety, he was the one who was scared. I smiled wide and jumped in his arms, loud laughter erupting from both of us.
"I love you too Jensen."
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp @creative-writing92
50 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 6
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: Jensen and I face some hardships that shouldn't have occured, and he gives me a wonderful surprise.
Warnings: Fighting, mentions of physical assault, descriptions of physical assault/fight, swearing, mentions of injury and blood.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Jensen's POV
The auditorium was filled with people who were cheering and screaming my name, but the only sound that came out clearly was that of my own heart pounding loudly in my ears, like a heavy drum or the rain beating on a window pane.
The memories of our previous conversation was on loop in my mind, the excitement nearly overtaking my body. I couldn't wait. But it was also terrifying at the same time, maybe more in a good way.
You know when you go to the fair and you see a ride you really want to go on, but the fear nearly talks you out of it? Your hands shake, your legs feel like jello, your heart almost skips right out of your chest and for a second you feel like you can't do this, you just want to leave, run away screaming, hide.
But whenever you finally get on that ride and it starts, the fear starts to dissipate and turn into adrenaline instead. Your grimace turns into a smile, screams into laughter, fear into fun.
That's what I was feeling. So excited, but so fucking scared of the uncertainty. What if it goes wrong? What if I ruin her? What if she ruins me?
Sitting next to my best friend, I couldn't help but wonder what he would think of all this. Was I being crazy? Was this too fast?
Either way, if this was wrong, than I never wanted to be right.
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Back to me
It's only been an hour and a half since Jensen left for the panel but I already missed him with every fibre of my being. Was he thinking of me too? Was he okay?
I had to admit, as soon as he left I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't understand how this is real life, how this is happening to me out of all people. Why would he ever want me this way?
My thoughts were heading straight into overdrive as I sat there, alone, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get out of this stuffy hotel room, away from the silence and the scent of him that drove me crazy.
Quickly grabbing my purse, I headed down the hallway to the elevators, thanking Jensen ahead of time for having a private floor so I wouldn't be caught by any superfans up here.
I wasn't ashamed in any form, but I knew how it already looked by us being together, and I haven't even spoken to him about how this could affect our personal lives when word gets out. I couldn't do that to him, so I'd be as careful as could be.
As soon as the elevator doors opened, my chest tightened with anxiety. Fans were everywhere, crowding around the lobby, nearly pressed into each other. I checked the time and realized quickly why, the panel just ended and Jensen was going to be signing soon.
I walked around sheepishly as I stared at the booths set up, trying to stay calm in the sea of voices and screams. I never really was good with crowds of people, and this... well this was my nightmare.
Suddenly, a warm feeling rushed over me, one that I've only ever felt when Jensen was around. The exact same feeling I had when he stared at me from the stage on the day we met.
I lifted my head up as my eyes scanned the room, falling straight onto my person. He was standing at the back of the room in front of his table, a wide smile spread across his face as he waved gently. I smiled and waved back before walking towards where he was.
I was so distracted by his eyes on mine, I didn't notice the same two girls from the other day approaching me from behind. I didn't notice Jensen's smile fading as he tried to move, but was asked to sit down.
Vanessa's rough grip on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts as she spun me towards herself and Amber. They smirked mischievously and I returned with a roll of my eyes, sick of their drama and pettiness.
"Y/N, Wow I didn't expect you to be back after you completely embarrassed yourself in front of Jensen yesterday." She stated smugly.
I laughed underneath my breath and turned to continue walking towards Jensen's tables, as I called out over my shoulder, "The only one embarrassing themselves is you, sweetie."
I was so close to him, only a few feet away but Vanessa wouldn't let up. She grabbed me once again and pulled me closer to her. "Are you one of those crazy fans? The ones that try to pry their way into Jensen's life?"
I scoffed in response, "Not that it's any of your business but you have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh really?" She hissed, as she pulled her phone from her purse, a picture of Jensen and I at the bar last night facing me. I swallowed hard and kept my eyes down, avoiding giving any information out.
"Explain this than."
I yanked my arm from her grip and backed up, "I don't owe you anything, leave me alone Vanessa."
I managed to walk away and get closer to the table, my eyes catching Jensen's worried and concerned expression spread across his face. I offered a reassuring smile, hoping that he could relax and have a good time, he didn't need to worry about this, not now.
I took a deep breath as I tried to push the anxiety out, but as soon as I felt her standing behind me, my nerves only grew. I rolled my eyes and turned towards her, "Listen Vanessa, I understand that your obsessed with Jensen, maybe a little too much, but your not his mother. You aren't his type either so maybe just worry about yourself rather than worry about an actor that doesn't even know you exist."
With that, I turned towards Jensen and gave him a smile before walking back towards the elevator, but unfortunately only made it two steps before a rather large impact hit my back and I quickly fell to the floor.
I turned on my back and before I could react, Vanessa jumped on top of me and started throwing punches, one after another. I held my hands up to block the hits but the little bitch was quick, she threw punch after punch before somebody finally tried to pull her off of me.
I could feel my face bleeding as she kept hitting, kept fighting to attack me, for god knows what reason. I could have easily defended myself, hell I've had fights with people three times bigger than her, but this was Jensen's convention I wasn't going to stoop to her level, I wasn't going to cause a scene here, not in Jensen's place.
Her weight was lifted off of my body and a breath of relief filled my lungs when I realized security pulled her off. My head lulled back onto the floor as I tried to keep calm, praying that I didn't look as bad as I felt.
I turned to face Jensen who was standing only a few feet away, a deep look of heartbreak and desperation covering his face. He tried to come closer, but another security guard had their hand up, blocking him from leaving. I watched as he leaned closer, whispering something to the woman before he disappeared out of my vision.
She came closer to me, slowly helping me stand from my spot before grabbing my arm to lead me out. I was convinced she was kicking me out when she brought me down the hallways to a securely locked door, but when I looked at her with surprise and she offered nothing but a reassuring smile, I figured out what Jensen told her.
Before I knew it, we walked through a door with his name on it and I was in a room that looked like a lounge. She kindly helped me sit before offering to clean my wounds but I politely declined, all I wanted was to see Jensen. He would help me.
She left as soon as he walked in and he stilled at the sight of me up close. A look of dread and heartbreak covered his face as he rushed over to my side, crouching in front of me. "Jesus honey, are you alright?"
I nodded sadly and shrugged, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."
He shook his head and leaned upwards, laying a deep kiss to my temple. "Don't apologize." He reassured as he grabbed a towel to clean the blood off, "Why didn't you hit her back?"
"Because I knew if I did, in the long run that would look horrible on you. If we ever became public people would know me as the girl who got in a fight at the convention. That's not fair to you."
He scoffed as he gently wiped the blood from my eyes. "So you just took a bunch of hits to protect my image?"
"Yes." I stated as I shoved his hand down, "And I would do it again in a heartbeat Jensen. I've been hit before, it's no big deal."
He flinched as soon as the words left my mouth and his head dropped, the image of me ever being hit tearing at his soul.
He shook his head and sighed deeply, "Sweetie, I appreciate what you were trying to do but I want you to defend yourself when somebody hurts you, I don't want to be the reason you get the shit beaten out of you."
I smiled and leaned closer to him, reaching my hand to his chin and bringing it up to face me, "Trust me, in another place I would have kicked her ass but not in a convention-your convention, not when we are about to start our life together."
He frowned as the towel dropped in his lap, his head falling slightly. Guilt filled me as I watched how sad and broken he looked, "Listen, I know you don't understand. But I promise, I'm fine. If I felt like that bitch was going to kill me, I would have 100% defended myself but I knew she was pissed off and was going to get stopped by security, and she did."
"I just..." He whispered, "I hate the idea that you have been hit before, and especially seeing it for myself today. I wish I could have helped."
"I know Jensen. But the way I've grown up, I've had to learn how to defend myself. I know how to handle it and when not to say or do anything. Today, I shouldn't have said anything but I did because she was insulting us. That was my bad so whatever happened after that was my-"
His face shot up as a stern look appeared on his face, "Don't you dare say it was your fault."
I couldn't help but smile at the protective side of Jensen, it was hot and cute at the same time and it made my heart melt knowing he cared this much about me.
"I promise I'm okay." I spoke softly, leaning closer to him.
"Okay." He smiled softly. "I trust you."
"Okay, well you have to get back out there before the fans start busting down the doors trying to find you."
A whole hearted laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head at me, "I will but first let me clean you up."
The room was filled with a comfortable silence as he worked on getting the blood off of me, occasionally placing bandages on the bigger areas that were still bleeding, and by the time he was done, I knew I was even more in love with him than I've ever been.
He smiled and leaned closer, capturing my lips with his in a passionate and meaningful way. I smirked against him as he seperated, standing to help me up off the couch and into his arms tightly.
“Okay I should go.” He sighed, walking back towards the door but stopping before he could turn the knob. “I’ll be back soon. Can you try not to get punched by any more crazy fan girls while I’m gone?”
A loud giggle escaped my mouth as I rushed towards the door, leaning on my tiptoes to peck his lips over and over. I couldn’t get enough of him. I smirked and pulled away, “I’ll try but no promises. Being with you might mean I piss off more people than intended.”
A loud chuckle filled his throat as he shook his head and I swore I’ve never heard something so beautiful in my life. He winked before opening the door and quickly shutting it behind him, leaving me in the room to wait patiently, if I could do that.
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It’s been a good two hours since he left and the separation was already tearing at my soul. It was ridiculous, I should be able to get through a few hours without him, I lived years without even knowing him. What the hell kind of hold did he have on me.
I walked towards the mirror and froze at my reflection, laughing lightly at the site of the bruises and cuts all over my face. I’ll definitely give her this, for a small girl she could really hit.
It amazed me more than pissed me off, the fact that I allowed somebody like her to even try to hurt me like that, was a shock itself.
I’ve been in a few fights in my lifetime, I mean you kind’ve have to be ready for one when your living on the street and the more I ran into people who wanted to start something, the more I learned about self defence.
I wasn’t an animal, I didn’t want to fight or even learn how to, but being a young woman living in a car I’d occasionally run into the stray drunk men who didn’t want to take no for an answer, and local crackheads who wanted to steal my home.
And not once have I ever let somebody attack me or say the things they’ve said about somebody I cared about without hitting back but Jensen was worth it. He was worth everything.
A ping on my phone interrupted my thoughts and an instant smile erupted on my face when I saw his name.
>>Meet me in the back alley in 10 mins, I have a suprise for you.<<
My heart was pounding as I stared at the message, a deep confusion spreading throughout me.
I’ve never gotten a surprise before and the idea of Jensen sneaking around planning something for me, well it made me feel like an excited little girl on her birthday.
I made my way out the hallways and found the exit, stepping outside before my eyes fell on him. He smiled and pushed himself off the wall, towards a large item hidden underneath a tarp.
“What’s going on?” I smiled nervously as he led me towards the covered mystery. His smile was bright and filled with joy as he led me towards the mystery present, hands holding mine tightly in his own.
“You know how yesterday you told me that you had no life here except for me? Well, I realized that this wasn’t the full truth. You do have a life here. One that you can bring with us.”
I titled my head quizzically before he moved towards the tarp and pulled it off, instantly filling me with shock. I gasped as I backed up, tears filling my eyes at my most prized possession. The home I thought I lost.
My car.
My eyes darted between my baby and him as I struggled to find the words. “Jensen… what did you… How did you…?”
He chuckled and stepped closer, hands resting on my shoulders to bring me back to earth. “Amber. When I went back to the signing, she came up to the counter and apologized for Vanessa, than she told me that she was the one who called the tow truck because Vanessa made her. I asked her what type of car, got the info and sent one of my handlers to go get it for you.”
The tears started rushing down my cheeks as I realized how much I really adored this man. He didn’t have to do this and he knew it, but he wanted to. This had to be the most thoughtful action somebody’s ever shown me.
“Jensen..” I whispered as I leaned my head against his chest, holding him tightly against me. “Thank you..”
He nodded, a gentle yet firm kissed pressed on top of my head as his arms tightened around me. “Of course. I know she’s a big part of your life, and she was your home before you met me, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to take a road trip back home tomorrow. It’s a long drive so of course only if your up to it. We could always get her shipped out to Texas.”
My smile spread across my lips as I lifted my head to face him, “I’d love that.”
He leaned down gently before pushing his lips against mine, slowly leading me against the wall. My back was pressed as his hand move to my cheek, deepening the kiss with such love and passion I was seeing stars.
A loud clang interrupted our movements, and we quickly stood straight, trying to focus on where the source came from.
His face dropped when he noticed, his hand moving to my arm to grab mine and pull me away. I froze when I spotted what he was staring at, Vanessa.
Jensen tugged on my arm and I shook my head before pushing him gently behind the car to hide him away from her sight. I leaned against the wall and shook my head, “What do you want?”
She scoffed and stepped closer, inches away from me. “You got me kicked out of the convention you bitch.”
I all but laughed as I kicked off the wall, standing directly in front of her. “I actually didn’t do anything, your the freak who jumped me in the middle of the room.”
“Yeah! Because you are some sort of stalker fan girl who tricked their way into Jensen’s life. You have to be an idiot if you’d ever think he’d fall for a ugly homeless chick like you.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, footsteps started approaching us and I sighed. Clearly Jensen heard enough and was about done with this conversation, as was I.
The look on her face when she spotted him was nearly hysterical, yet aggravated me to the core. She was staring at him with such fake love in her eyes and it drove me crazy. She thought she loved him but she didn’t know a single thing about him, she didn’t have what we did.
“Actually Vanessa” I spoke, interrupting her trance. “He fell for me without even knowing I was homeless. Your attempt to break us apart has failed, it only brought us closer together.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes as she pushed passed me, nearly knocking me on my ass. I bit my tongue in anger as I watched her step inches from Jensen, her hand coming to his chest. “Jensen, I can offer you so much more than this piece of trash, dump her and let me show you how happy I could make you.”
Before Jensen could react or even respond, I lost my cool. I rushed towards her, my arm wrapping around her waist as I spun her to the ground. She fell on her knees and looked up at me with such anger and aggression I nearly felt bad for her.
She quickly stood and came closer until she was merely inches from my face and I instantly knew where this was going. I’ve been in this situation before and the two things I learned were to never show fear, and never back down.
Jensen grabbed my hand and shook his head, “No, this isn’t happening. C’mon.” He tried to pull me away but before we knew it, Vanessa jumped on top of me and pulled me to the ground, just like she did inside the hotel.
Jensen tried to jump in but my hand quickly rested on his leg, pushing him back. The last thing we need is for her to claim assault against him because he was defending me. No, this was my fight and I was going to end it.
I let her get a hit in before my arm came up behind her head, swinging her downwards until she fell directly beside me, causing me to jump on her and lay one hard hit onto her face. I stood up quickly and walked back to Jensen, nearly laughing at the way Vanessa was staring into space with such a confused look on her face.
I leaned closer to her and sighed, “You know why Jensen chose me? Because I don’t act like a crazy fucking bitch like you do. I don’t attack fans based on the fact that they got closer to the man they think they love. You don’t know him, I know him. The only damn reason I let you beat the shit out of me in there was because that was his territory, his place. It wasn’t mine to cause a scene, but you did that yourself. The only reason why I haven’t completely kicked your ass right here and now is because you are not worth it. So get over it. Get over the fact that Jensen fell in love with me and not with you and god damn it Vanessa, grow the fuck up.”
She stayed silent, a look of anger and defeat on her face as she stood from her spot and walked away, leaving us alone in the empty alley.
As soon as she left, I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding in, and swayed against the wall, head resting against the brick to try and keep my composure.
Jensen's hand immediately came to my shoulder as waves of adrenaline shook me to my core. His hand rubbed gently, easing some of the nerves I was still holding onto.
"Are you okay?" He spoke gently.
I shook my head and turned towards him, tears threatening to pour out at any second. "I will be."
His eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked me up and down, "Did she hit you hard?"
"No, that was just.. really scary." My voice cracked as the tears started to fall.
For a second he looked surprised and it nearly made me laugh, but also made me feel so stupid. His arms pulled me closer into his chest and I breathed him in, the scent of his cologne relaxing me in a way I didn't know could happen.
"I didn't know you were scared baby."
I nodded against his chest, "Of course I was scared, I'm not a heartless monster. I hate fighting. I just do it because I have to, but you never know how it's going to end until it's done, and when it's finally finished, god it shakes you."
He nodded understandably as his lips pressed deep onto my forehead, hands rubbing my back in reassurance that he was here and I could finally breathe easily.
The silence was comforting and relaxing in a strange way, the sound of his heartbeat in my ear calmed my tense muscles and I swore I could just live in this moment with him forever.
His chin rubbed against my head as he sighed contently, lifting to take a look at my state. He smiled gently when he noticed the relaxed look across my face, a kiss being pressed gently against my lips. "Are you okay now?"
I nodded, "Mhm, i'm good. Thanks Jensen."
He broke the distance first, backing up and grabbing my hand tightly in his before he stopped to turn towards me, "I do.... you know?"
I stared back quizzically which made him chuckle, a deep red colour spreading across his freckled cheeks.
"Love you... You told Vanessa that I fell in love with you. I think you were saying that to piss her off but you know I do right?"
My heart pounded in my ears and I could feel the blood rushing to my head as those three words I haven't heard before fall from his lips. He... loved me?
"You do?" I questioned nearly inaudibly.
He nodded and this time he was the one who was filled with anxiety, he was the one who was scared. I smiled wide and jumped in his arms, loud laughter erupting from both of us.
"I love you too Jensen."
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp @creative-writing92
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agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 6
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: Jensen and I face some hardships that shouldn't have occured, and he gives me a wonderful surprise.
Warnings: Fighting, mentions of physical assault, descriptions of physical assault/fight, swearing, mentions of injury and blood.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Jensen's POV
The auditorium was filled with people who were cheering and screaming my name, but the only sound that came out clearly was that of my own heart pounding loudly in my ears, like a heavy drum or the rain beating on a window pane.
The memories of our previous conversation was on loop in my mind, the excitement nearly overtaking my body. I couldn't wait. But it was also terrifying at the same time, maybe more in a good way.
You know when you go to the fair and you see a ride you really want to go on, but the fear nearly talks you out of it? Your hands shake, your legs feel like jello, your heart almost skips right out of your chest and for a second you feel like you can't do this, you just want to leave, run away screaming, hide.
But whenever you finally get on that ride and it starts, the fear starts to dissipate and turn into adrenaline instead. Your grimace turns into a smile, screams into laughter, fear into fun.
That's what I was feeling. So excited, but so fucking scared of the uncertainty. What if it goes wrong? What if I ruin her? What if she ruins me?
Sitting next to my best friend, I couldn't help but wonder what he would think of all this. Was I being crazy? Was this too fast?
Either way, if this was wrong, than I never wanted to be right.
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Back to me
It's only been an hour and a half since Jensen left for the panel but I already missed him with every fibre of my being. Was he thinking of me too? Was he okay?
I had to admit, as soon as he left I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't understand how this is real life, how this is happening to me out of all people. Why would he ever want me this way?
My thoughts were heading straight into overdrive as I sat there, alone, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get out of this stuffy hotel room, away from the silence and the scent of him that drove me crazy.
Quickly grabbing my purse, I headed down the hallway to the elevators, thanking Jensen ahead of time for having a private floor so I wouldn't be caught by any superfans up here.
I wasn't ashamed in any form, but I knew how it already looked by us being together, and I haven't even spoken to him about how this could affect our personal lives when word gets out. I couldn't do that to him, so I'd be as careful as could be.
As soon as the elevator doors opened, my chest tightened with anxiety. Fans were everywhere, crowding around the lobby, nearly pressed into each other. I checked the time and realized quickly why, the panel just ended and Jensen was going to be signing soon.
I walked around sheepishly as I stared at the booths set up, trying to stay calm in the sea of voices and screams. I never really was good with crowds of people, and this... well this was my nightmare.
Suddenly, a warm feeling rushed over me, one that I've only ever felt when Jensen was around. The exact same feeling I had when he stared at me from the stage on the day we met.
I lifted my head up as my eyes scanned the room, falling straight onto my person. He was standing at the back of the room in front of his table, a wide smile spread across his face as he waved gently. I smiled and waved back before walking towards where he was.
I was so distracted by his eyes on mine, I didn't notice the same two girls from the other day approaching me from behind. I didn't notice Jensen's smile fading as he tried to move, but was asked to sit down.
Vanessa's rough grip on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts as she spun me towards herself and Amber. They smirked mischievously and I returned with a roll of my eyes, sick of their drama and pettiness.
"Y/N, Wow I didn't expect you to be back after you completely embarrassed yourself in front of Jensen yesterday." She stated smugly.
I laughed underneath my breath and turned to continue walking towards Jensen's tables, as I called out over my shoulder, "The only one embarrassing themselves is you, sweetie."
I was so close to him, only a few feet away but Vanessa wouldn't let up. She grabbed me once again and pulled me closer to her. "Are you one of those crazy fans? The ones that try to pry their way into Jensen's life?"
I scoffed in response, "Not that it's any of your business but you have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh really?" She hissed, as she pulled her phone from her purse, a picture of Jensen and I at the bar last night facing me. I swallowed hard and kept my eyes down, avoiding giving any information out.
"Explain this than."
I yanked my arm from her grip and backed up, "I don't owe you anything, leave me alone Vanessa."
I managed to walk away and get closer to the table, my eyes catching Jensen's worried and concerned expression spread across his face. I offered a reassuring smile, hoping that he could relax and have a good time, he didn't need to worry about this, not now.
I took a deep breath as I tried to push the anxiety out, but as soon as I felt her standing behind me, my nerves only grew. I rolled my eyes and turned towards her, "Listen Vanessa, I understand that your obsessed with Jensen, maybe a little too much, but your not his mother. You aren't his type either so maybe just worry about yourself rather than worry about an actor that doesn't even know you exist."
With that, I turned towards Jensen and gave him a smile before walking back towards the elevator, but unfortunately only made it two steps before a rather large impact hit my back and I quickly fell to the floor.
I turned on my back and before I could react, Vanessa jumped on top of me and started throwing punches, one after another. I held my hands up to block the hits but the little bitch was quick, she threw punch after punch before somebody finally tried to pull her off of me.
I could feel my face bleeding as she kept hitting, kept fighting to attack me, for god knows what reason. I could have easily defended myself, hell I've had fights with people three times bigger than her, but this was Jensen's convention I wasn't going to stoop to her level, I wasn't going to cause a scene here, not in Jensen's place.
Her weight was lifted off of my body and a breath of relief filled my lungs when I realized security pulled her off. My head lulled back onto the floor as I tried to keep calm, praying that I didn't look as bad as I felt.
I turned to face Jensen who was standing only a few feet away, a deep look of heartbreak and desperation covering his face. He tried to come closer, but another security guard had their hand up, blocking him from leaving. I watched as he leaned closer, whispering something to the woman before he disappeared out of my vision.
She came closer to me, slowly helping me stand from my spot before grabbing my arm to lead me out. I was convinced she was kicking me out when she brought me down the hallways to a securely locked door, but when I looked at her with surprise and she offered nothing but a reassuring smile, I figured out what Jensen told her.
Before I knew it, we walked through a door with his name on it and I was in a room that looked like a lounge. She kindly helped me sit before offering to clean my wounds but I politely declined, all I wanted was to see Jensen. He would help me.
She left as soon as he walked in and he stilled at the sight of me up close. A look of dread and heartbreak covered his face as he rushed over to my side, crouching in front of me. "Jesus honey, are you alright?"
I nodded sadly and shrugged, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."
He shook his head and leaned upwards, laying a deep kiss to my temple. "Don't apologize." He reassured as he grabbed a towel to clean the blood off, "Why didn't you hit her back?"
"Because I knew if I did, in the long run that would look horrible on you. If we ever became public people would know me as the girl who got in a fight at the convention. That's not fair to you."
He scoffed as he gently wiped the blood from my eyes. "So you just took a bunch of hits to protect my image?"
"Yes." I stated as I shoved his hand down, "And I would do it again in a heartbeat Jensen. I've been hit before, it's no big deal."
He flinched as soon as the words left my mouth and his head dropped, the image of me ever being hit tearing at his soul.
He shook his head and sighed deeply, "Sweetie, I appreciate what you were trying to do but I want you to defend yourself when somebody hurts you, I don't want to be the reason you get the shit beaten out of you."
I smiled and leaned closer to him, reaching my hand to his chin and bringing it up to face me, "Trust me, in another place I would have kicked her ass but not in a convention-your convention, not when we are about to start our life together."
He frowned as the towel dropped in his lap, his head falling slightly. Guilt filled me as I watched how sad and broken he looked, "Listen, I know you don't understand. But I promise, I'm fine. If I felt like that bitch was going to kill me, I would have 100% defended myself but I knew she was pissed off and was going to get stopped by security, and she did."
"I just..." He whispered, "I hate the idea that you have been hit before, and especially seeing it for myself today. I wish I could have helped."
"I know Jensen. But the way I've grown up, I've had to learn how to defend myself. I know how to handle it and when not to say or do anything. Today, I shouldn't have said anything but I did because she was insulting us. That was my bad so whatever happened after that was my-"
His face shot up as a stern look appeared on his face, "Don't you dare say it was your fault."
I couldn't help but smile at the protective side of Jensen, it was hot and cute at the same time and it made my heart melt knowing he cared this much about me.
"I promise I'm okay." I spoke softly, leaning closer to him.
"Okay." He smiled softly. "I trust you."
"Okay, well you have to get back out there before the fans start busting down the doors trying to find you."
A whole hearted laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head at me, "I will but first let me clean you up."
The room was filled with a comfortable silence as he worked on getting the blood off of me, occasionally placing bandages on the bigger areas that were still bleeding, and by the time he was done, I knew I was even more in love with him than I've ever been.
He smiled and leaned closer, capturing my lips with his in a passionate and meaningful way. I smirked against him as he seperated, standing to help me up off the couch and into his arms tightly.
“Okay I should go.” He sighed, walking back towards the door but stopping before he could turn the knob. “I’ll be back soon. Can you try not to get punched by any more crazy fan girls while I’m gone?”
A loud giggle escaped my mouth as I rushed towards the door, leaning on my tiptoes to peck his lips over and over. I couldn’t get enough of him. I smirked and pulled away, “I’ll try but no promises. Being with you might mean I piss off more people than intended.”
A loud chuckle filled his throat as he shook his head and I swore I’ve never heard something so beautiful in my life. He winked before opening the door and quickly shutting it behind him, leaving me in the room to wait patiently, if I could do that.
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It’s been a good two hours since he left and the separation was already tearing at my soul. It was ridiculous, I should be able to get through a few hours without him, I lived years without even knowing him. What the hell kind of hold did he have on me.
I walked towards the mirror and froze at my reflection, laughing lightly at the site of the bruises and cuts all over my face. I’ll definitely give her this, for a small girl she could really hit.
It amazed me more than pissed me off, the fact that I allowed somebody like her to even try to hurt me like that, was a shock itself.
I’ve been in a few fights in my lifetime, I mean you kind’ve have to be ready for one when your living on the street and the more I ran into people who wanted to start something, the more I learned about self defence.
I wasn’t an animal, I didn’t want to fight or even learn how to, but being a young woman living in a car I’d occasionally run into the stray drunk men who didn’t want to take no for an answer, and local crackheads who wanted to steal my home.
And not once have I ever let somebody attack me or say the things they’ve said about somebody I cared about without hitting back but Jensen was worth it. He was worth everything.
A ping on my phone interrupted my thoughts and an instant smile erupted on my face when I saw his name.
>>Meet me in the back alley in 10 mins, I have a suprise for you.<<
My heart was pounding as I stared at the message, a deep confusion spreading throughout me.
I’ve never gotten a surprise before and the idea of Jensen sneaking around planning something for me, well it made me feel like an excited little girl on her birthday.
I made my way out the hallways and found the exit, stepping outside before my eyes fell on him. He smiled and pushed himself off the wall, towards a large item hidden underneath a tarp.
“What’s going on?” I smiled nervously as he led me towards the covered mystery. His smile was bright and filled with joy as he led me towards the mystery present, hands holding mine tightly in his own.
“You know how yesterday you told me that you had no life here except for me? Well, I realized that this wasn’t the full truth. You do have a life here. One that you can bring with us.”
I titled my head quizzically before he moved towards the tarp and pulled it off, instantly filling me with shock. I gasped as I backed up, tears filling my eyes at my most prized possession. The home I thought I lost.
My car.
My eyes darted between my baby and him as I struggled to find the words. “Jensen… what did you… How did you…?”
He chuckled and stepped closer, hands resting on my shoulders to bring me back to earth. “Amber. When I went back to the signing, she came up to the counter and apologized for Vanessa, than she told me that she was the one who called the tow truck because Vanessa made her. I asked her what type of car, got the info and sent one of my handlers to go get it for you.”
The tears started rushing down my cheeks as I realized how much I really adored this man. He didn’t have to do this and he knew it, but he wanted to. This had to be the most thoughtful action somebody’s ever shown me.
“Jensen..” I whispered as I leaned my head against his chest, holding him tightly against me. “Thank you..”
He nodded, a gentle yet firm kissed pressed on top of my head as his arms tightened around me. “Of course. I know she’s a big part of your life, and she was your home before you met me, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to take a road trip back home tomorrow. It’s a long drive so of course only if your up to it. We could always get her shipped out to Texas.”
My smile spread across my lips as I lifted my head to face him, “I’d love that.”
He leaned down gently before pushing his lips against mine, slowly leading me against the wall. My back was pressed as his hand move to my cheek, deepening the kiss with such love and passion I was seeing stars.
A loud clang interrupted our movements, and we quickly stood straight, trying to focus on where the source came from.
His face dropped when he noticed, his hand moving to my arm to grab mine and pull me away. I froze when I spotted what he was staring at, Vanessa.
Jensen tugged on my arm and I shook my head before pushing him gently behind the car to hide him away from her sight. I leaned against the wall and shook my head, “What do you want?”
She scoffed and stepped closer, inches away from me. “You got me kicked out of the convention you bitch.”
I all but laughed as I kicked off the wall, standing directly in front of her. “I actually didn’t do anything, your the freak who jumped me in the middle of the room.”
“Yeah! Because you are some sort of stalker fan girl who tricked their way into Jensen’s life. You have to be an idiot if you’d ever think he’d fall for a ugly homeless chick like you.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, footsteps started approaching us and I sighed. Clearly Jensen heard enough and was about done with this conversation, as was I.
The look on her face when she spotted him was nearly hysterical, yet aggravated me to the core. She was staring at him with such fake love in her eyes and it drove me crazy. She thought she loved him but she didn’t know a single thing about him, she didn’t have what we did.
“Actually Vanessa” I spoke, interrupting her trance. “He fell for me without even knowing I was homeless. Your attempt to break us apart has failed, it only brought us closer together.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes as she pushed passed me, nearly knocking me on my ass. I bit my tongue in anger as I watched her step inches from Jensen, her hand coming to his chest. “Jensen, I can offer you so much more than this piece of trash, dump her and let me show you how happy I could make you.”
Before Jensen could react or even respond, I lost my cool. I rushed towards her, my arm wrapping around her waist as I spun her to the ground. She fell on her knees and looked up at me with such anger and aggression I nearly felt bad for her.
She quickly stood and came closer until she was merely inches from my face and I instantly knew where this was going. I’ve been in this situation before and the two things I learned were to never show fear, and never back down.
Jensen grabbed my hand and shook his head, “No, this isn’t happening. C’mon.” He tried to pull me away but before we knew it, Vanessa jumped on top of me and pulled me to the ground, just like she did inside the hotel.
Jensen tried to jump in but my hand quickly rested on his leg, pushing him back. The last thing we need is for her to claim assault against him because he was defending me. No, this was my fight and I was going to end it.
I let her get a hit in before my arm came up behind her head, swinging her downwards until she fell directly beside me, causing me to jump on her and lay one hard hit onto her face. I stood up quickly and walked back to Jensen, nearly laughing at the way Vanessa was staring into space with such a confused look on her face.
I leaned closer to her and sighed, “You know why Jensen chose me? Because I don’t act like a crazy fucking bitch like you do. I don’t attack fans based on the fact that they got closer to the man they think they love. You don’t know him, I know him. The only damn reason I let you beat the shit out of me in there was because that was his territory, his place. It wasn’t mine to cause a scene, but you did that yourself. The only reason why I haven’t completely kicked your ass right here and now is because you are not worth it. So get over it. Get over the fact that Jensen fell in love with me and not with you and god damn it Vanessa, grow the fuck up.”
She stayed silent, a look of anger and defeat on her face as she stood from her spot and walked away, leaving us alone in the empty alley.
As soon as she left, I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding in, and swayed against the wall, head resting against the brick to try and keep my composure.
Jensen's hand immediately came to my shoulder as waves of adrenaline shook me to my core. His hand rubbed gently, easing some of the nerves I was still holding onto.
"Are you okay?" He spoke gently.
I shook my head and turned towards him, tears threatening to pour out at any second. "I will be."
His eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked me up and down, "Did she hit you hard?"
"No, that was just.. really scary." My voice cracked as the tears started to fall.
For a second he looked surprised and it nearly made me laugh, but also made me feel so stupid. His arms pulled me closer into his chest and I breathed him in, the scent of his cologne relaxing me in a way I didn't know could happen.
"I didn't know you were scared baby."
I nodded against his chest, "Of course I was scared, I'm not a heartless monster. I hate fighting. I just do it because I have to, but you never know how it's going to end until it's done, and when it's finally finished, god it shakes you."
He nodded understandably as his lips pressed deep onto my forehead, hands rubbing my back in reassurance that he was here and I could finally breathe easily.
The silence was comforting and relaxing in a strange way, the sound of his heartbeat in my ear calmed my tense muscles and I swore I could just live in this moment with him forever.
His chin rubbed against my head as he sighed contently, lifting to take a look at my state. He smiled gently when he noticed the relaxed look across my face, a kiss being pressed gently against my lips. "Are you okay now?"
I nodded, "Mhm, i'm good. Thanks Jensen."
He broke the distance first, backing up and grabbing my hand tightly in his before he stopped to turn towards me, "I do.... you know?"
I stared back quizzically which made him chuckle, a deep red colour spreading across his freckled cheeks.
"Love you... You told Vanessa that I fell in love with you. I think you were saying that to piss her off but you know I do right?"
My heart pounded in my ears and I could feel the blood rushing to my head as those three words I haven't heard before fall from his lips. He... loved me?
"You do?" I questioned nearly inaudibly.
He nodded and this time he was the one who was filled with anxiety, he was the one who was scared. I smiled wide and jumped in his arms, loud laughter erupting from both of us.
"I love you too Jensen."
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp @creative-writing92
50 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 5
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: I woke up in a place I never expected to, and thank god I did.
Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, fluff, mentions of crying, swearing
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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When my eyes finally flickered opened, I felt more refreshed and energized than I have been in a while, it was like I was in a whole new body.
The bright sunlight shined through the strange room causing a painful throbbing to appear in my head. I let my eyes adjust before sitting up and checking my surroundings, realizing I had no idea where I was or who took me here.
I looked down at myself and noticed the t-shirt that was certainly not mine, along with my pants removed. My stomach was turning in anxiety, trying to remember what the hell happened last night.
As I glanced around the room, slight relief filled me when I realized nobody else was here. Except for a suitcase and a bed that was made on the couch, I was alone.
My legs swung over the side of the bed and I brushed my hands through my hair before the noise of somebody opening the door caused me to jump up in fear.
When I spotted who it was, my heart sank in my chest.
Jensen.
Everything came flashing back at once in lightning speed.
The drinks, his eyes filled with concern and hurt, the hoarse sound of my voice screaming in his face, but most of all what came ringing back was his words that he said to me. "But I do know you, and I think maybe you know me too."
A small smile appeared on his face as he walked towards the side of the bed, placing a coffee and a bag on the nightstand and sitting on the edge.
His eyes were filled with concern, but not pity. He was worried about me. We stood in silence, unsure of what to say or how to go forward at this point, and without thinking, my hand reached to his and squeezed it tight, a light smile playing on my lips.
His head dropped slightly as he looked down at his coffee cup. "You're looking way better, how are you feeling?"
I laughed embarrassingly as I stared down at my feet and let go of his hand. "Uh, way better than I deserve I think."
His eyes lifted to mine, head tilting in confusion as he stood from his spot, stepping closer. Before he could reach me, I turned away from him and sighed deep in my chest. "I'm really sorry about last night Jensen."
He shook his head as he stepped closer, hand reaching my arm to turn me around. "You have nothing to apologize for honey, absolutely nothing you did or said last night was on you."
"I shouldn't have said those things." I admitted awkwardly, "I shouldn't have snapped at you when you were just trying to help."
His hands raised in surrender as he sat on the edge of the bed again, "Stop, don't apologize you did nothing wrong. Yesterday your entire life got turned upside down, people showed you how shitty the world could be and you suffered because of it. I would have had the same reaction, maybe even worse. I would have said some shit I didn't mean too."
I giggled and looked into his eyes, "You think I didn't mean what I said?"
He laughed as his hand reached forward and rested on my hip, successfully sending heat throughout my body. "I know you didn't mean what you said. I meant what I said last night, I know you felt the connection, the spark, I can feel it, there's no way you don't either."
I smiled widely and bit my lip before I leaned against the wall, quickly remembering the different clothing, and the lack of clothing I was being presented in.
"You wanna explain this Mr.Ackles?" I questioned suspiciously. He laughed nervously as his hand moved to scratch the back of his neck. I nearly missed the blush on his cheeks and the shyness in his eyes, but when I spotted it, my heart melted even more.
"Uh.. right, that. When you passed out last night, your pants and shirt got full of dirt and mud. I sent your clothing down to get washed and let you borrow my shirt, but all my sweatpants were dirty... Don't worry I didn't see anything when I changed you though, I'm a good boy."
I couldn't help but laugh at the way he stared back at me, so shy and vulnerable. It was a side to him I never thought existed considering how confident and silly he usually acted.
I clicked my tongue in disappointment, "Damn, that sucks."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stepped closer and leaned towards him, "I was hoping you were a bad boy, but either way thank you for last night." I joked.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as his hand rested on my hip, so softly that for a second it didn't feel like he was even touching me. Something strange came over me, a wave of confidence and bravery, I wasn't worried about him rejecting me or judging me, because he was right, I knew him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as I straddled his lap, earning a very light gasp in approval. My breath caught in my throat as I stared inches from his face, begging him to make that first move, letting him take control.
His eyes flicked from my lips to my eyes before his hand rested on the back of my head, gently and slowly pulling me in. The wait was torture, every inch we got closer still felt like miles and my head was swimming in anticipation.
His hot breath landed on my lips in such a satisfying way that I had to stifle the pleased moan that wanted to escape. Finally, slowly then all at once his lips landed on mine and my entire body lit up in heat and pleasure.
When people would say that they felt fireworks during their first kiss, I never understood it until now. I could hear it, see it, fireworks shooting off in my mind, warming every inch of my body. His hands tightened on my waist as the kiss became hungry, and we ignored the breathy moans and gasps for air, desperate to continue.
I wrapped my legs tightly around him, and he read my mind as he stood from his spot and brought me to the wall, gently pushing my back against it. I could hear his breath catching as his lips moved to my neck, planting kiss after kiss on my skin. His kisses were passionate and deep, nearly therapeutic almost as if he was kissing away all the pain, all the loneliness and all the embarrassment. For once moment, I forgot that he was an actor and I was a fan, in this moment it felt like two humans filled with want and love.
His fingers trailed downwards near the edge of my shirt and I froze, insecurity taking over my mind. Regretfully, I grabbed his hand and pushed my head back. He smirked and kissed once more against my lips. I sighed and dropped my head, "I'm sorry, I think we should stop before it goes too far.."
Every man usually was disappointed to hear those words, they either get mad or frustrated or lose interest fast, I expected that from Jensen, but I never thought instead he would simply smile and kiss my lips again before placing my feet on the ground.
"Don't apologize. We got a little carried away there."
I smiled to myself and fought the tear that wanted to drop down due to his unbelievable kindness towards me. Was this really happening or was I dreaming?
Whatever the case, Don't wake me up.
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The morning was spent in bed, cuddled closely to Jensen.
We wasted time laughing about everything, asking questions and getting to know each other and sharing stories about where we have been in life and I filled in some blanks on why I was where I was now.
I felt closer to him than I've ever felt to anybody and I knew how I felt now, I loved him and he loved me.
His laughter boomed through the hotel room as his head rested against my leg, "Wait so you would shower at the carwash yet not wash your car?"
I laughed in response and shook my head, "I'd wash it... sometimes. I never did really pay attention to the actual car though."
The room was filled with laughter and love, warmness and the sense of home. It was perfect, and I never wanted to leave.
But all good things come to an end as Jensen's phone rang, offically pulling us back to reality.
He rolled his eyes as he answered, putting it up to his ear. "Yeah?"
I watched the smile fade slightly before he spoke, "Okay right, yeah I'll be there shorty. Y/N? Oh she's alright, I've got her."
I couldn't stop the smile that reached my ears as I listened to Jensen talk about me so kindly and caring, it was definitely not something I was used to.
He hung up and sighed before his arm rested over his eyes. I smirked and shook his body, "Who was that?"
"Jared. I forgot we have a photoshoot to do, a quick panel, and then more signings. Last night of the convention so it's going to be a busy day."
My stomach dropped and I could feel the sadness creep in, how could I forget that he would of course be leaving when the convention was over, back to his own home in his own world.
I wanted to live this life a little longer, stay right here locked in our own personal heaven but I knew the risks of falling for a celebrity, I knew that he couldn't put his life on pause for me.
I could tell Jensen was becoming concerned with the way I zoned out and sadness filled my eyes but instead I offered a smile and moved to stand with distance, "Well, you have to shower and get ready for the day, and I should probably find some pants."
He nodded sadly stood from his spot before texting something on his phone. "They will bring up your clothes in a few moments so you can get dressed. Wait here for me?"
I nodded and bit back the tears that wanted to pour. As soon as the bathroom door shut, I couldn't fight it anymore and I let them fall as I thought about this ending.
It wasn't fair, it wasn't time.
We didn't get close enough, we didn't get the happily ever after that we were meant to have, and it shattered my heart but that is the reality of pinning for somebody who was completely different than I was.
The shower was turned off before I knew it, forcing me to wipe the tears away as fast as I could. The door open seconds later facing a surprisingly devastated looking Jensen.
I hugged my knees to my chest as my head turned quizzically. "What's wrong Jensen?"
He shrugged before moving to seat himself next to me, hand resting on my knee. His eyes stayed glued to the floor like a child, unsure and fearful of speaking his mind.
I smiled lightly as my hand dipped under his chin, turning his face towards me. "Whatever is wrong you can tell me."
He nodded as if he knew, and a light sigh escaped his mouth, easing some tension in his shoulders. "I'm kind of scared."
"Scared of what?" I questioned in a confused way, what could Jensen Ackles be scared of? The panel?
Another sigh escaped him but this time it was filled with heartache and stress, and I quickly took note of how his hands trembled when he combed his hair back. "Of losing you. I don't want to lose you."
I froze as the words floated in the open air, filling the room with mixed emotions. I had no idea what to say, of course I didn't want to lose him either, I just found him. But we are two different people in two different worlds, anybody on the outside would say it's bound to fail, quickly.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and gazed at the ceiling, begging the tears to stay put just for a little longer. "I don't want to lose you either Jensen, it sucks, I know."
His arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder as he pulled me into his chest, and I let a few tears fall. This may be the last memory we have together, and the very idea tore at my soul.
He cleared his throat and I could hear the emotion behind it, he was just as upset as I was, maybe more. "Listen, I want to say something." He nearly whispered before turning to face me on the bed.
"I'm not sure what the appropriate move here is, and I don't want to pressure you or put you in a position where your uncomfortable. My last day is today and I head back tomorrow, but I don't want to leave without you. I know it's not fair to ask and I may sound crazy but... I want you to come with me."
My mouth gaped open and closed like a fish, unsure if I heard him properly or if he was even serious, but when I paid attention to the way his hands trembled and his eyes were filled with anxiety and sadness, I knew in my heart he wanted this just as much as I did.
I smiled lightly and placed my hands on his cheeks, "I'll come with you."
His eyes were locked on mine intensely, and I wasn't even sure he heard me until a hope filled smile spread across his lips. "Seriously?"
"If you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, then what's stopping us?"
His smile faltered slightly as he shrugged his shoulders, "I'd be asking you to uproot up your life to come with me. That's a big ask."
I shook my head and squeezed his hand in mine, "What life? I don't have a life without you, Jensen. You are the only one who's really seen me for who I am, your the only one who didn't turn your back on me even when I pushed you so hard. My life is you."
His head dropped to the floor and he sniffed, avoiding looking back at me. Confusion filled me before I pulled his head up and noticed the tears in his eyes.
Out of everything I've seen in my life, this was the worst. The look on his face and the anxiety filling him broke my heart in two. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before facing me slightly.
"Jensen, are you sure you want to do this?"
He nodded frantically and sat up, "I do. I really do."
"Than why are you crying?"
He shrugged as an embarrassed smile appeared on his lips. "I wish more people could have noticed you, your an amazing person and it just kills me that you've had such a hard life."
My heart melted in my chest, "Thank you Jensen, that's sweet. You don't need to cry though, I'm okay now, with you."
Leaning closer, his lips hit mine softly, sweetly, passionately. Every movement felt like we were falling in love even more. I could feel his smile in the kiss and I had to stop myself from laughing at how damn adorable he was.
The phone rang loudly causing us to jump in our spot, bursting out into giggles before he picked it up.
"Hey. Yeah, I'm on my way home, calm yourself." He spoke assertively before hanging up and pressing one more kiss to my lips. "Sorry honey, duty calls."
"It's okay." I replied confidently, "Go give them some Dean Winchester."
He chuckled as he walked to the front door, pausing in his spot to turn back towards me, "Thank you for trusting me."
My smile spread wide as I nodded, "Thank you for not treating me like an outcast."
"Never." He winked, before leaving the hotel.
As soon as the door closed I laid back on the bed, excitement and giddiness filling me all at once.
This was happening, this was real life. Never once have I expected somebody like him to want somebody like me, but god, he loves me, he really loves me.
I have to be the luckiest girl in the world.
Again, if this is a dream, don't wake me up.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp
@creative-writing92
73 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 5
Tumblr media
Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: I woke up in a place I never expected to, and thank god I did.
Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, fluff, mentions of crying, swearing
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
Tumblr media
When my eyes finally flickered opened, I felt more refreshed and energized than I have been in a while, it was like I was in a whole new body.
The bright sunlight shined through the strange room causing a painful throbbing to appear in my head. I let my eyes adjust before sitting up and checking my surroundings, realizing I had no idea where I was or who took me here.
I looked down at myself and noticed the t-shirt that was certainly not mine, along with my pants removed. My stomach was turning in anxiety, trying to remember what the hell happened last night.
As I glanced around the room, slight relief filled me when I realized nobody else was here. Except for a suitcase and a bed that was made on the couch, I was alone.
My legs swung over the side of the bed and I brushed my hands through my hair before the noise of somebody opening the door caused me to jump up in fear.
When I spotted who it was, my heart sank in my chest.
Jensen.
Everything came flashing back at once in lightning speed.
The drinks, his eyes filled with concern and hurt, the hoarse sound of my voice screaming in his face, but most of all what came ringing back was his words that he said to me. "But I do know you, and I think maybe you know me too."
A small smile appeared on his face as he walked towards the side of the bed, placing a coffee and a bag on the nightstand and sitting on the edge.
His eyes were filled with concern, but not pity. He was worried about me. We stood in silence, unsure of what to say or how to go forward at this point, and without thinking, my hand reached to his and squeezed it tight, a light smile playing on my lips.
His head dropped slightly as he looked down at his coffee cup. "You're looking way better, how are you feeling?"
I laughed embarrassingly as I stared down at my feet and let go of his hand. "Uh, way better than I deserve I think."
His eyes lifted to mine, head tilting in confusion as he stood from his spot, stepping closer. Before he could reach me, I turned away from him and sighed deep in my chest. "I'm really sorry about last night Jensen."
He shook his head as he stepped closer, hand reaching my arm to turn me around. "You have nothing to apologize for honey, absolutely nothing you did or said last night was on you."
"I shouldn't have said those things." I admitted awkwardly, "I shouldn't have snapped at you when you were just trying to help."
His hands raised in surrender as he sat on the edge of the bed again, "Stop, don't apologize you did nothing wrong. Yesterday your entire life got turned upside down, people showed you how shitty the world could be and you suffered because of it. I would have had the same reaction, maybe even worse. I would have said some shit I didn't mean too."
I giggled and looked into his eyes, "You think I didn't mean what I said?"
He laughed as his hand reached forward and rested on my hip, successfully sending heat throughout my body. "I know you didn't mean what you said. I meant what I said last night, I know you felt the connection, the spark, I can feel it, there's no way you don't either."
I smiled widely and bit my lip before I leaned against the wall, quickly remembering the different clothing, and the lack of clothing I was being presented in.
"You wanna explain this Mr.Ackles?" I questioned suspiciously. He laughed nervously as his hand moved to scratch the back of his neck. I nearly missed the blush on his cheeks and the shyness in his eyes, but when I spotted it, my heart melted even more.
"Uh.. right, that. When you passed out last night, your pants and shirt got full of dirt and mud. I sent your clothing down to get washed and let you borrow my shirt, but all my sweatpants were dirty... Don't worry I didn't see anything when I changed you though, I'm a good boy."
I couldn't help but laugh at the way he stared back at me, so shy and vulnerable. It was a side to him I never thought existed considering how confident and silly he usually acted.
I clicked my tongue in disappointment, "Damn, that sucks."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stepped closer and leaned towards him, "I was hoping you were a bad boy, but either way thank you for last night." I joked.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as his hand rested on my hip, so softly that for a second it didn't feel like he was even touching me. Something strange came over me, a wave of confidence and bravery, I wasn't worried about him rejecting me or judging me, because he was right, I knew him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as I straddled his lap, earning a very light gasp in approval. My breath caught in my throat as I stared inches from his face, begging him to make that first move, letting him take control.
His eyes flicked from my lips to my eyes before his hand rested on the back of my head, gently and slowly pulling me in. The wait was torture, every inch we got closer still felt like miles and my head was swimming in anticipation.
His hot breath landed on my lips in such a satisfying way that I had to stifle the pleased moan that wanted to escape. Finally, slowly then all at once his lips landed on mine and my entire body lit up in heat and pleasure.
When people would say that they felt fireworks during their first kiss, I never understood it until now. I could hear it, see it, fireworks shooting off in my mind, warming every inch of my body. His hands tightened on my waist as the kiss became hungry, and we ignored the breathy moans and gasps for air, desperate to continue.
I wrapped my legs tightly around him, and he read my mind as he stood from his spot and brought me to the wall, gently pushing my back against it. I could hear his breath catching as his lips moved to my neck, planting kiss after kiss on my skin. His kisses were passionate and deep, nearly therapeutic almost as if he was kissing away all the pain, all the loneliness and all the embarrassment. For once moment, I forgot that he was an actor and I was a fan, in this moment it felt like two humans filled with want and love.
His fingers trailed downwards near the edge of my shirt and I froze, insecurity taking over my mind. Regretfully, I grabbed his hand and pushed my head back. He smirked and kissed once more against my lips. I sighed and dropped my head, "I'm sorry, I think we should stop before it goes too far.."
Every man usually was disappointed to hear those words, they either get mad or frustrated or lose interest fast, I expected that from Jensen, but I never thought instead he would simply smile and kiss my lips again before placing my feet on the ground.
"Don't apologize. We got a little carried away there."
I smiled to myself and fought the tear that wanted to drop down due to his unbelievable kindness towards me. Was this really happening or was I dreaming?
Whatever the case, Don't wake me up.
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The morning was spent in bed, cuddled closely to Jensen.
We wasted time laughing about everything, asking questions and getting to know each other and sharing stories about where we have been in life and I filled in some blanks on why I was where I was now.
I felt closer to him than I've ever felt to anybody and I knew how I felt now, I loved him and he loved me.
His laughter boomed through the hotel room as his head rested against my leg, "Wait so you would shower at the carwash yet not wash your car?"
I laughed in response and shook my head, "I'd wash it... sometimes. I never did really pay attention to the actual car though."
The room was filled with laughter and love, warmness and the sense of home. It was perfect, and I never wanted to leave.
But all good things come to an end as Jensen's phone rang, offically pulling us back to reality.
He rolled his eyes as he answered, putting it up to his ear. "Yeah?"
I watched the smile fade slightly before he spoke, "Okay right, yeah I'll be there shorty. Y/N? Oh she's alright, I've got her."
I couldn't stop the smile that reached my ears as I listened to Jensen talk about me so kindly and caring, it was definitely not something I was used to.
He hung up and sighed before his arm rested over his eyes. I smirked and shook his body, "Who was that?"
"Jared. I forgot we have a photoshoot to do, a quick panel, and then more signings. Last night of the convention so it's going to be a busy day."
My stomach dropped and I could feel the sadness creep in, how could I forget that he would of course be leaving when the convention was over, back to his own home in his own world.
I wanted to live this life a little longer, stay right here locked in our own personal heaven but I knew the risks of falling for a celebrity, I knew that he couldn't put his life on pause for me.
I could tell Jensen was becoming concerned with the way I zoned out and sadness filled my eyes but instead I offered a smile and moved to stand with distance, "Well, you have to shower and get ready for the day, and I should probably find some pants."
He nodded sadly stood from his spot before texting something on his phone. "They will bring up your clothes in a few moments so you can get dressed. Wait here for me?"
I nodded and bit back the tears that wanted to pour. As soon as the bathroom door shut, I couldn't fight it anymore and I let them fall as I thought about this ending.
It wasn't fair, it wasn't time.
We didn't get close enough, we didn't get the happily ever after that we were meant to have, and it shattered my heart but that is the reality of pinning for somebody who was completely different than I was.
The shower was turned off before I knew it, forcing me to wipe the tears away as fast as I could. The door open seconds later facing a surprisingly devastated looking Jensen.
I hugged my knees to my chest as my head turned quizzically. "What's wrong Jensen?"
He shrugged before moving to seat himself next to me, hand resting on my knee. His eyes stayed glued to the floor like a child, unsure and fearful of speaking his mind.
I smiled lightly as my hand dipped under his chin, turning his face towards me. "Whatever is wrong you can tell me."
He nodded as if he knew, and a light sigh escaped his mouth, easing some tension in his shoulders. "I'm kind of scared."
"Scared of what?" I questioned in a confused way, what could Jensen Ackles be scared of? The panel?
Another sigh escaped him but this time it was filled with heartache and stress, and I quickly took note of how his hands trembled when he combed his hair back. "Of losing you. I don't want to lose you."
I froze as the words floated in the open air, filling the room with mixed emotions. I had no idea what to say, of course I didn't want to lose him either, I just found him. But we are two different people in two different worlds, anybody on the outside would say it's bound to fail, quickly.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and gazed at the ceiling, begging the tears to stay put just for a little longer. "I don't want to lose you either Jensen, it sucks, I know."
His arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder as he pulled me into his chest, and I let a few tears fall. This may be the last memory we have together, and the very idea tore at my soul.
He cleared his throat and I could hear the emotion behind it, he was just as upset as I was, maybe more. "Listen, I want to say something." He nearly whispered before turning to face me on the bed.
"I'm not sure what the appropriate move here is, and I don't want to pressure you or put you in a position where your uncomfortable. My last day is today and I head back tomorrow, but I don't want to leave without you. I know it's not fair to ask and I may sound crazy but... I want you to come with me."
My mouth gaped open and closed like a fish, unsure if I heard him properly or if he was even serious, but when I paid attention to the way his hands trembled and his eyes were filled with anxiety and sadness, I knew in my heart he wanted this just as much as I did.
I smiled lightly and placed my hands on his cheeks, "I'll come with you."
His eyes were locked on mine intensely, and I wasn't even sure he heard me until a hope filled smile spread across his lips. "Seriously?"
"If you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, then what's stopping us?"
His smile faltered slightly as he shrugged his shoulders, "I'd be asking you to uproot up your life to come with me. That's a big ask."
I shook my head and squeezed his hand in mine, "What life? I don't have a life without you, Jensen. You are the only one who's really seen me for who I am, your the only one who didn't turn your back on me even when I pushed you so hard. My life is you."
His head dropped to the floor and he sniffed, avoiding looking back at me. Confusion filled me before I pulled his head up and noticed the tears in his eyes.
Out of everything I've seen in my life, this was the worst. The look on his face and the anxiety filling him broke my heart in two. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before facing me slightly.
"Jensen, are you sure you want to do this?"
He nodded frantically and sat up, "I do. I really do."
"Than why are you crying?"
He shrugged as an embarrassed smile appeared on his lips. "I wish more people could have noticed you, your an amazing person and it just kills me that you've had such a hard life."
My heart melted in my chest, "Thank you Jensen, that's sweet. You don't need to cry though, I'm okay now, with you."
Leaning closer, his lips hit mine softly, sweetly, passionately. Every movement felt like we were falling in love even more. I could feel his smile in the kiss and I had to stop myself from laughing at how damn adorable he was.
The phone rang loudly causing us to jump in our spot, bursting out into giggles before he picked it up.
"Hey. Yeah, I'm on my way home, calm yourself." He spoke assertively before hanging up and pressing one more kiss to my lips. "Sorry honey, duty calls."
"It's okay." I replied confidently, "Go give them some Dean Winchester."
He chuckled as he walked to the front door, pausing in his spot to turn back towards me, "Thank you for trusting me."
My smile spread wide as I nodded, "Thank you for not treating me like an outcast."
"Never." He winked, before leaving the hotel.
As soon as the door closed I laid back on the bed, excitement and giddiness filling me all at once.
This was happening, this was real life. Never once have I expected somebody like him to want somebody like me, but god, he loves me, he really loves me.
I have to be the luckiest girl in the world.
Again, if this is a dream, don't wake me up.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp
@creative-writing92
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agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 5
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: I woke up in a place I never expected to, and thank god I did.
Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, fluff, mentions of crying, swearing
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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When my eyes finally flickered opened, I felt more refreshed and energized than I have been in a while, it was like I was in a whole new body.
The bright sunlight shined through the strange room causing a painful throbbing to appear in my head. I let my eyes adjust before sitting up and checking my surroundings, realizing I had no idea where I was or who took me here.
I looked down at myself and noticed the t-shirt that was certainly not mine, along with my pants removed. My stomach was turning in anxiety, trying to remember what the hell happened last night.
As I glanced around the room, slight relief filled me when I realized nobody else was here. Except for a suitcase and a bed that was made on the couch, I was alone.
My legs swung over the side of the bed and I brushed my hands through my hair before the noise of somebody opening the door caused me to jump up in fear.
When I spotted who it was, my heart sank in my chest.
Jensen.
Everything came flashing back at once in lightning speed.
The drinks, his eyes filled with concern and hurt, the hoarse sound of my voice screaming in his face, but most of all what came ringing back was his words that he said to me. "But I do know you, and I think maybe you know me too."
A small smile appeared on his face as he walked towards the side of the bed, placing a coffee and a bag on the nightstand and sitting on the edge.
His eyes were filled with concern, but not pity. He was worried about me. We stood in silence, unsure of what to say or how to go forward at this point, and without thinking, my hand reached to his and squeezed it tight, a light smile playing on my lips.
His head dropped slightly as he looked down at his coffee cup. "You're looking way better, how are you feeling?"
I laughed embarrassingly as I stared down at my feet and let go of his hand. "Uh, way better than I deserve I think."
His eyes lifted to mine, head tilting in confusion as he stood from his spot, stepping closer. Before he could reach me, I turned away from him and sighed deep in my chest. "I'm really sorry about last night Jensen."
He shook his head as he stepped closer, hand reaching my arm to turn me around. "You have nothing to apologize for honey, absolutely nothing you did or said last night was on you."
"I shouldn't have said those things." I admitted awkwardly, "I shouldn't have snapped at you when you were just trying to help."
His hands raised in surrender as he sat on the edge of the bed again, "Stop, don't apologize you did nothing wrong. Yesterday your entire life got turned upside down, people showed you how shitty the world could be and you suffered because of it. I would have had the same reaction, maybe even worse. I would have said some shit I didn't mean too."
I giggled and looked into his eyes, "You think I didn't mean what I said?"
He laughed as his hand reached forward and rested on my hip, successfully sending heat throughout my body. "I know you didn't mean what you said. I meant what I said last night, I know you felt the connection, the spark, I can feel it, there's no way you don't either."
I smiled widely and bit my lip before I leaned against the wall, quickly remembering the different clothing, and the lack of clothing I was being presented in.
"You wanna explain this Mr.Ackles?" I questioned suspiciously. He laughed nervously as his hand moved to scratch the back of his neck. I nearly missed the blush on his cheeks and the shyness in his eyes, but when I spotted it, my heart melted even more.
"Uh.. right, that. When you passed out last night, your pants and shirt got full of dirt and mud. I sent your clothing down to get washed and let you borrow my shirt, but all my sweatpants were dirty... Don't worry I didn't see anything when I changed you though, I'm a good boy."
I couldn't help but laugh at the way he stared back at me, so shy and vulnerable. It was a side to him I never thought existed considering how confident and silly he usually acted.
I clicked my tongue in disappointment, "Damn, that sucks."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stepped closer and leaned towards him, "I was hoping you were a bad boy, but either way thank you for last night." I joked.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as his hand rested on my hip, so softly that for a second it didn't feel like he was even touching me. Something strange came over me, a wave of confidence and bravery, I wasn't worried about him rejecting me or judging me, because he was right, I knew him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as I straddled his lap, earning a very light gasp in approval. My breath caught in my throat as I stared inches from his face, begging him to make that first move, letting him take control.
His eyes flicked from my lips to my eyes before his hand rested on the back of my head, gently and slowly pulling me in. The wait was torture, every inch we got closer still felt like miles and my head was swimming in anticipation.
His hot breath landed on my lips in such a satisfying way that I had to stifle the pleased moan that wanted to escape. Finally, slowly then all at once his lips landed on mine and my entire body lit up in heat and pleasure.
When people would say that they felt fireworks during their first kiss, I never understood it until now. I could hear it, see it, fireworks shooting off in my mind, warming every inch of my body. His hands tightened on my waist as the kiss became hungry, and we ignored the breathy moans and gasps for air, desperate to continue.
I wrapped my legs tightly around him, and he read my mind as he stood from his spot and brought me to the wall, gently pushing my back against it. I could hear his breath catching as his lips moved to my neck, planting kiss after kiss on my skin. His kisses were passionate and deep, nearly therapeutic almost as if he was kissing away all the pain, all the loneliness and all the embarrassment. For once moment, I forgot that he was an actor and I was a fan, in this moment it felt like two humans filled with want and love.
His fingers trailed downwards near the edge of my shirt and I froze, insecurity taking over my mind. Regretfully, I grabbed his hand and pushed my head back. He smirked and kissed once more against my lips. I sighed and dropped my head, "I'm sorry, I think we should stop before it goes too far.."
Every man usually was disappointed to hear those words, they either get mad or frustrated or lose interest fast, I expected that from Jensen, but I never thought instead he would simply smile and kiss my lips again before placing my feet on the ground.
"Don't apologize. We got a little carried away there."
I smiled to myself and fought the tear that wanted to drop down due to his unbelievable kindness towards me. Was this really happening or was I dreaming?
Whatever the case, Don't wake me up.
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The morning was spent in bed, cuddled closely to Jensen.
We wasted time laughing about everything, asking questions and getting to know each other and sharing stories about where we have been in life and I filled in some blanks on why I was where I was now.
I felt closer to him than I've ever felt to anybody and I knew how I felt now, I loved him and he loved me.
His laughter boomed through the hotel room as his head rested against my leg, "Wait so you would shower at the carwash yet not wash your car?"
I laughed in response and shook my head, "I'd wash it... sometimes. I never did really pay attention to the actual car though."
The room was filled with laughter and love, warmness and the sense of home. It was perfect, and I never wanted to leave.
But all good things come to an end as Jensen's phone rang, offically pulling us back to reality.
He rolled his eyes as he answered, putting it up to his ear. "Yeah?"
I watched the smile fade slightly before he spoke, "Okay right, yeah I'll be there shorty. Y/N? Oh she's alright, I've got her."
I couldn't stop the smile that reached my ears as I listened to Jensen talk about me so kindly and caring, it was definitely not something I was used to.
He hung up and sighed before his arm rested over his eyes. I smirked and shook his body, "Who was that?"
"Jared. I forgot we have a photoshoot to do, a quick panel, and then more signings. Last night of the convention so it's going to be a busy day."
My stomach dropped and I could feel the sadness creep in, how could I forget that he would of course be leaving when the convention was over, back to his own home in his own world.
I wanted to live this life a little longer, stay right here locked in our own personal heaven but I knew the risks of falling for a celebrity, I knew that he couldn't put his life on pause for me.
I could tell Jensen was becoming concerned with the way I zoned out and sadness filled my eyes but instead I offered a smile and moved to stand with distance, "Well, you have to shower and get ready for the day, and I should probably find some pants."
He nodded sadly stood from his spot before texting something on his phone. "They will bring up your clothes in a few moments so you can get dressed. Wait here for me?"
I nodded and bit back the tears that wanted to pour. As soon as the bathroom door shut, I couldn't fight it anymore and I let them fall as I thought about this ending.
It wasn't fair, it wasn't time.
We didn't get close enough, we didn't get the happily ever after that we were meant to have, and it shattered my heart but that is the reality of pinning for somebody who was completely different than I was.
The shower was turned off before I knew it, forcing me to wipe the tears away as fast as I could. The door open seconds later facing a surprisingly devastated looking Jensen.
I hugged my knees to my chest as my head turned quizzically. "What's wrong Jensen?"
He shrugged before moving to seat himself next to me, hand resting on my knee. His eyes stayed glued to the floor like a child, unsure and fearful of speaking his mind.
I smiled lightly as my hand dipped under his chin, turning his face towards me. "Whatever is wrong you can tell me."
He nodded as if he knew, and a light sigh escaped his mouth, easing some tension in his shoulders. "I'm kind of scared."
"Scared of what?" I questioned in a confused way, what could Jensen Ackles be scared of? The panel?
Another sigh escaped him but this time it was filled with heartache and stress, and I quickly took note of how his hands trembled when he combed his hair back. "Of losing you. I don't want to lose you."
I froze as the words floated in the open air, filling the room with mixed emotions. I had no idea what to say, of course I didn't want to lose him either, I just found him. But we are two different people in two different worlds, anybody on the outside would say it's bound to fail, quickly.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and gazed at the ceiling, begging the tears to stay put just for a little longer. "I don't want to lose you either Jensen, it sucks, I know."
His arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder as he pulled me into his chest, and I let a few tears fall. This may be the last memory we have together, and the very idea tore at my soul.
He cleared his throat and I could hear the emotion behind it, he was just as upset as I was, maybe more. "Listen, I want to say something." He nearly whispered before turning to face me on the bed.
"I'm not sure what the appropriate move here is, and I don't want to pressure you or put you in a position where your uncomfortable. My last day is today and I head back tomorrow, but I don't want to leave without you. I know it's not fair to ask and I may sound crazy but... I want you to come with me."
My mouth gaped open and closed like a fish, unsure if I heard him properly or if he was even serious, but when I paid attention to the way his hands trembled and his eyes were filled with anxiety and sadness, I knew in my heart he wanted this just as much as I did.
I smiled lightly and placed my hands on his cheeks, "I'll come with you."
His eyes were locked on mine intensely, and I wasn't even sure he heard me until a hope filled smile spread across his lips. "Seriously?"
"If you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, then what's stopping us?"
His smile faltered slightly as he shrugged his shoulders, "I'd be asking you to uproot up your life to come with me. That's a big ask."
I shook my head and squeezed his hand in mine, "What life? I don't have a life without you, Jensen. You are the only one who's really seen me for who I am, your the only one who didn't turn your back on me even when I pushed you so hard. My life is you."
His head dropped to the floor and he sniffed, avoiding looking back at me. Confusion filled me before I pulled his head up and noticed the tears in his eyes.
Out of everything I've seen in my life, this was the worst. The look on his face and the anxiety filling him broke my heart in two. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before facing me slightly.
"Jensen, are you sure you want to do this?"
He nodded frantically and sat up, "I do. I really do."
"Than why are you crying?"
He shrugged as an embarrassed smile appeared on his lips. "I wish more people could have noticed you, your an amazing person and it just kills me that you've had such a hard life."
My heart melted in my chest, "Thank you Jensen, that's sweet. You don't need to cry though, I'm okay now, with you."
Leaning closer, his lips hit mine softly, sweetly, passionately. Every movement felt like we were falling in love even more. I could feel his smile in the kiss and I had to stop myself from laughing at how damn adorable he was.
The phone rang loudly causing us to jump in our spot, bursting out into giggles before he picked it up.
"Hey. Yeah, I'm on my way home, calm yourself." He spoke assertively before hanging up and pressing one more kiss to my lips. "Sorry honey, duty calls."
"It's okay." I replied confidently, "Go give them some Dean Winchester."
He chuckled as he walked to the front door, pausing in his spot to turn back towards me, "Thank you for trusting me."
My smile spread wide as I nodded, "Thank you for not treating me like an outcast."
"Never." He winked, before leaving the hotel.
As soon as the door closed I laid back on the bed, excitement and giddiness filling me all at once.
This was happening, this was real life. Never once have I expected somebody like him to want somebody like me, but god, he loves me, he really loves me.
I have to be the luckiest girl in the world.
Again, if this is a dream, don't wake me up.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
The Broken Fan taglist: @magssteenkamp
@creative-writing92
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agirlwithdemonblood · 9 months
Text
Text Imagines… Dean confessing his love for you
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Thank you for the request @creative-writing92 this one was soo cute to make!! I hope you like it. ❤️❤️
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Thank you for the request I hope you like it! Check out my Masterlist here!
My ask box is open for Text Imagines and Drabbles, feel free to send one in ❤️
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agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 4
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: Everything goes wrong, way too fast.
Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety, mentions of drinking, mentions of bar, swearing, scared Jensen, Panickedreader! Mean girls!
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Today was the day.
Everybody was excited to attend the signing, to have at least a few minutes with Jensen and Jared, their very own meet and greet.
I wondered how people would react if they were in my shoes last night, if they happened to crash into Jensen and be invited in for a drink. Would they freak out like I did? Would they blow their shot in under 20 minutes?
I didn’t know how to feel about seeing Jensen again after last night, considering I left fairly quickly I hope he didn’t dread seeing me today.
Mainly, my nerves were at an all time high at the unknown but I couldn’t pass on this opportunity, I couldn’t waste anymore chances at being normal, not again.
Everybody was already lining up when I entered the hotel lobby, two straight long lines nearly beside each other. I looked ahead and spotted Jensens table on the right, Jared’s on the left.
I hesitated, wondering which table to go to. If I went to Jared’s than Jensen may think I’m avoiding him or I didn’t like him in the first place. If I went in Jensen’s though it may look like I’m either a stalker, or it will be super awkward.
I stepped in Jared’s line and frowned. It didn’t feel right being here, wrong choice. As soon as I crossed and stepped into Jensen’s line, I felt a calm rush wave over me and I nearly rolled my eyes.
Okay, I guess this is where I’m staying.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and I jumped, before turning to face Vanessa and Amber, the two girls from day 1. My smile faded when I noticed the scowl on their faces and their eyes judging me to the core.
“Hi Y/N. How was your night in your car?” Vanessa spoke harshly. I bit my tongue and plastered on a poker face, “It was fine but I can’t wait to get home.”
She rolled her eyes towards Amber and laughed before I turned around, I don’t really know what their problem is with me today but at this point I didn’t care. I was becoming excited to see him again, and hopefully make up for last night.
I clutched the Supernatural journal I had in my hands and sighed in relief when the line started moving. Jensen was so close yet so far, I could see how gorgeous he looked again, laughing and smiling, interacting with everybody so kindly and patiently. It was heartwarming to see him like this.
My cheeks heated as I watched him, noticing the way his tongue peaked out when he was writing his name, eyeing the firm flex of his arms while he signed, and god, the way his eyes shined-it was all too much. He was too much.
“So Y/N.” Amber chimed in my ear, nearly giving me a heart attack. I rolled my eyes and turned in her direction.
She smiled smugly, “We saw you at the bar last night. We were going to say hi but I guess you were too occupied hanging out with Jensen and Jared.”
I froze in my spot as my eyes widened. Vanessa smirked and stepped closer until she was inches from my face. “Are you seriously trying to con your way into Jensen’s life? Stalker much?”
“I’m… not trying to do anything. He invited me for a drink.” I whispered nearly inaudibly.
A harsh laugh escaped Vanessa as her eyes narrowed. “Do you really think we are going to believe that Jensen had any interest in hanging out with a homeless chick?”
Panic. Fear. Regret.
“W-What?” I stuttered back.
Amber nodded and stepped closer to me, “We saw your car outside. You’ve clearly been living there for a long time, maybe forever. Not so much a traveller as a hobo, am I right?”
My mouth gaped open and shut, my vision started to blur as the panic set in.
She knew. They both knew. And they were using it against me. I knew I couldn’t be normal here. I knew I would be the outcast. Stupid, so stupid!
I was trembling in place, heart pounding in my ears and my mouth was so dry. The panic has officially set in and I needed to get out of here.
Before I had a chance to turn and run, one of the handlers placed their hand on my shoulder and urged me towards the table. Great, my turn.
I could barely see Jensen or anything in front of me as my vision went in and out, but I could tell he was staring at me, probably judging too.
But as soon as I stood in spot, I could feel his hand rest on top of mine shooting me straight back to reality. I looked up into his eyes and finally saw him.
He looked… scared. Concerned. Worried.
He leaned closer, “Y/N? Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off my forehead. “W-what?”
He swallowed hard. “I asked if you were okay. You don’t look so good…”
I smiled softly and nodded, trying my best to keep it together and just breathe. “Yeah, I’m fine sorry.”
He didn’t look convinced but I didn’t care. Fake it till you make it right? He smiled sadly and looked up, “What would you like me to sign?”
I nodded and took out my journal before passing it towards him. He opened it and froze, staring down at whatever he was looking at with a shocked expression.
“Oh shit what is it?” I questioned causing him to laugh. He turned to notebook towards me and I saw what his eyes caught, a not so good drawing I did of him when I was bored and having a particularly hard night.
“I forgot that was in there.”
He smiled and looked up at me, his eyes shining and staring intensely into mine just like he always did. “I love it.. did you do this?”
My cheeks warmed and I could feel the air seeping through once again, “Yeah, I did.”
“Wow.. Can I.. have it?” He questioned.
I tilted my head quizzically, “You want it?”
“Of course I do” he started “This is amazing.”
A smile erupted on my face as I grabbed the journal and carefully ripped out the page for him, and suddenly I forgot I was even panicking, I was lost in the moment with him, stuck in this warm bubble where nothing could ever hurt me.
He started to sign the journal, his eyes flicking up towards me causing my cheeks to burn. "Nice shirt, I haven't seen that one in a while."
I looked down and smirked, staring at the Dean Winchester mug shot I luckily found right before the convention but he didn't need to know that.
"Oh yeah, I've had this for years. I love it."
His head lifted up, a cocky grin spread across his lips. "Love it because it's me?"
I laughed as the blush deepened, "Meh, It was the only one I could get my hands on at the time, I wanted one of Jared to be honest."
His mouth dropped before a chuckle erupted from his throat, the most beautiful sound i've ever heard. "Oof, harsh. Here I was thinking you were a Dean girl after meeting me."
I shrugged and put on my best poker face. "Nah, I'm more of a Jensen girl." My heart fell into my stomach as soon as the words fell out, and before I could apologize for my idiotic flirty comment, he leaned backwards and covered his mouth as laughter came pouring out.
I quickly joined in laughter, hoping that my cheeks didn't look as red as they felt, but knowing my luck he could probably tell. He leaned forward and placed his hand on my notebook like a wall, shielding whatever he was writing down.
Such a beautiful bubble, so warm and comfy, I never wanted to leave. But of course, all good things come to an end.
Two rough fingers tapped my shoulders as the bubble I was in popped, bringing me back to reality. Vanessa smiled harshly and stepped closer, "So sorry to interrupt, but Y/N your car... I mean your house is being towed. Figured I should let you know before you have to sleep in the street. Although, i'm sure that's still not unusual for you."
I was paralized as I stared back at Vanessa, all the sounds around me was echoing before completly fading as I was pulled into panic mode. I turned towards Jensen in what felt like slow motion, watching him stand from his spot, hand touching my arm but I couldn't even feel it.
He shook my arm and everything came back at once, "Y/N? Hey, are you okay?"
I looked back towards the girls who were staring, laughing. It felt like everybody was laughing and it was all I could hear. I looked back at Jensen as tears welled in my eyes and my heart clenched in pain. "I-I gotta go..."
Before he could say anything, I ran out of the line as fast as my feet could take me, the feeling of everybody staring me crushing me down like a ton of bricks.
I hated it, I hated everything about this weekend. It was a mistake to even think that I could be normal here, that I could fit in. I was a fool and it was my own fault.
I could deal with other's bullying me or putting me down, but him. The way he stared at me with such pity and heartbreak, his eyes used to look so full of kindness and lust and now it was filled with fucking pity. He was never going to look at me the same way again, the memory I had with him was now tainted, poisoned and it was my own fucking fault.
I finally got outside as my car was pulling away attatched to the tow truck, my eyes filling with tears as fast as they ever could. My chest was painted with grief as I watched the only home I really knew be taken away from me. There was nothing I could do anymore, I didn't have enough to get my car out of the lot and I definitely did not have enough for a motel.
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Jensen's POV
My heart was filled with pain at how broken and upset she looked, and I finally understood now.
The first day I saw her in the crowd when I asked her if she was okay, it was because she looked so anxious, so scared, like she has never been in a crowd before. I finally understood her.
That was why she was so kind, treating me like I was a normal human, it was because she wanted to be treated the same way.
I glared at the two girls who were still laughing about the situation, ashamed that two people could even call themselves my fans after completely breaking down another person.
The blonde girl who spoke to Y/N first, was making disgusting comments, not realizing I could hear. She went off about how wrong it was to allow a girl like her in here in the first place, how embarrassing it was.
Everything inside me begged to scream at them, god how I wanted to shout right in their face, kick them out of here, or throw something. But I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't do anything, especially to two young girls, despite how big of bitches I thought they were.
I turned to my handler and insisted they came over, before whispering in his ear that I needed a break and I was leaving. He nodded and stepped forward, announcing that I would be closing the booth and I'd be back in an hour.
The look on the girl's faces were priceless, they were shocked and halfway looked annoyed and god, the anger was bubbling. I left the table as fast as I could, keeping it together until I got into the green room.
As soon as the door shut I could feel my chest tightening, my heart was shattering for her. She has been through so much, she looked so broken and defeated and all of humanity was just constantly letting her down.
I wanted to find her, I wanted to tell her that not everybody is as shitty as those two girls were. I wanted to tell her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.
God, I wanted to tell her that I wanted to be there for her, to be the person she could depend on, even though she may find me crazy, I didn't want to lose her.
I wanted to tell her. But I didn't even know where to find her. All I had was her journal and her name, that was it. I sat on the couch in defeat before Jared's words popped back into my head.
"You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."
It has to be fate right? This can't be how our story ends.
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I rubbed the temples of my head in hopes to ease the pain of the pounding headache that was beginning, but it was no use. There was too much pain, everywhere. My eyes burned from the endless tears that streamed down, my back ached from the brick wall I've been sat against for hours, but the most intense pain was in my mind.
I was defeated, alone, miserable and embarrassed. I should have known better. I should have thought this through. But tomorrow is the last day of the convention and I had nothing left. No car, no job, no money, no hope.
I regretted everything. I shouldn't have gave up everything to come here. I should have never thought for a second that Jensen would ever be interested in somebody like me.
And the worst part was now I was stuck here, in this town with these memories. I had no options, no path to follow. Nothing.
My bones creaked as I stood from my spot, every muscle heavy and tired, begging to just stay still and not move.
The sky was dark and gloomy, and I was surprised I haven't noticed the change, or how long I was even out here.
I sighed deeply as I pulled out my wallet, counting the last few bills I had. $40, not enough for my car, a motel, or really anything except maybe a few drinks at the bar.
Like I said before, I'm not a big drinker. Far from it really, I hated how people acted on the stuff. Party girls get giddy and loud, men get aggressive and cocky, and then there are the people who just can't stop drinking.
I don't drink. But tonight, I needed it more than ever. I wanted to forget, to stop the pain, to erase today's events. I needed to heal the wound that was on my heart, and crying it out was no longer an option.
By the time I got to the bar, the night has officially set, and most stores on this street were once again closed for the night. Relief hit me when I spotted only one car in the parking lot meaning I could be alone, out of attention. I walked inside and nodded towards the bartender before taking the furthest booth from the door and ordering my first drink.
As soon as I swallowed it down, I knew this wouldn't be my last. Who cares anymore?
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I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but every so often I'd see people come in, and people leave. It felt like I was watching a movie, but the button was stuck on fast forward. My drink would be empty, than filled. Empty than filled. Over and over.
I sighed and looked down at my cup which seemed to be spinning, and I started realizing that I might have had a little too much.
Was this drink number 4? No wait, this is 5... right?
The bell on the front door rang and as soon as it did, my blood ran cold. I didn't even need to look up, I knew exactly who it was. I kept my head down low, smirking when I spotted his shoes right beside the table.
"Jensen Ackles." I mumbled with a slight giggle.
The chair screeched as he sat across from me, and I could feel his eyes burning my skin. "Y/N. You doin' alright?"
I shrugged and lazily looked upwards, finally meeting his eyes. "Peachy."
He frowned as his hand came closer, but I quickly pulled it away. I really didn't need his pity, not tonight. "Why don't we go for a walk?"
I shook my head. "I'm g-good here thanks." I hiccupped.
"C'mon, let's get some air I think you had enough."
I scoffed and looked back down at my drink before chugging the rest and slamming it back down. "I-I don't think I will ever have enough actually. I think I m-may have to buy a bottle, how m-many do you think they c-cost? I have.... Ha! $10 left."
He smiled sadly and moved to my side of the table, his hand gently resting on my shoulder as he turned me to face him. "Honey, let's just get some fresh air. Please, for me?"
I rolled my eyes yet agreed, stumbling out of my seat and nearly falling on my ass. Jensen's strong grip was tight on my arm as he helped me towards the door. Everything was spinning and I felt like jello, but in a sense I loved it because the pain was gone. Well, at least the physical was.
The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks and I stumbled back, feeling Jensen's warm hand on my lower back to keep me straight. He lead me over to a bench as we sat in silence.
He sighed low, but I could hear it and guilt filled me. I bet this is not what he would rather be doing right now. I turned towards him slowly, "You can go. I'm fine."
"I don't want to leave you." He stated.
I rolled my eyes and stood from my spot, suddenly walking out of the parking lot, away from this bar, away from him, just away.
His feet were close behind me, voice echoing and mumbled as my ears blocked. "Where are you going?" He spoke louder.
I turned and smiled, waving my arms into the sky. "Nowhere. Got nowhere to go."
He frowned and stepped closer, hand reaching mine gently, burning the skin that he was touching. "Do you want to go to a hotel?"
I laughed a little too loudly and shot him a dirty look, "Funny, real funny. There's no hotels that cheap."
"I'm paying for it." He stated confidently.
I stopped and stared back at the man who had nothing but care and compassion in his eyes, but I couldn't help but feel more ridiculous, more embarrassed and more angry at the fact that this man that I've looked up to, idolized even, he was the one seeing me on one of my worst nights.
I shook my head in disbelief and walked away, a slight smile creeping on my face but it wasn't from happiness, it was from anger. I was so angry that my life was so fucked up, I was so fucking pissed off that nothing, NOTHING could ever just go right for me, not once.
I was angry that he was here, trying, and I had no idea why. Was he playing with me? Was this fun for him?
The sound of his footsteps sped up, and soon he was beside me, trying to capture my attention. “Please, just slow down. Talk to me.”
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the situation but all of a sudden the air was knocked out of my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. I stopped walking as my hand moved to my chest, silently begging for it to even out. Please, not here. Not while he’s watching.
“J-Jensen.. please, go. Go back to your hotel.” I whispered nearly inaudibly.
He shook his head and stood in front of me. “I don’t want to leave you, especially not like this.”
“I’m fine!” I nearly screamed with all my night, praying that he would get the hint and leave already. But he was just as stubborn as I was, maybe even more.
“Your not fine.” He stated sympathetically, "Honey, you don't need to pretend you are okay. Nobody would be in your situation."
A scoff escaped my lips as my eyes opened, narrowing towards him. "My situation? What, being a homeless chick? Trust me, I'm used to it. That's what I am, that's what I always will be."
He shook his head and stepped mere inches from my body, hand moving to mine to hold it tightly. "You're not just a homeless chick."
I could feel the anger bubbling further and I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to be angry with him but I was. He thought he knew me but he didn't, if he did he wouldn't be here right now, he wouldn't check in on me.
"You don't know anything Jensen. I am a nobody, I'm an outcast, I'm.... I'm a fucking ghost of a human. I'm alone and that's fine, that's alright because that's how it's always been. You don't need to pity me, you don't need to try and help me because I'm fine, the last thing I fucking need is for somebody to pretend to care, so just... leave."
He stepped back in shock before his eyebrows furrowed in sadness, "I'm not pretending with you, I do care."
"You don't even fucking know me!" I shouted loudly as I stepped closer, noticing how he flinched at my words. "You just met me what, two days ago and it's been endless drama with me. You don't know me."
He knew you were right, he only met you two days ago but it felt like it's been years. He knew you, he cared for you and a part of him loved you already. He had no idea why, but he did.
A deep sigh escaped his chest as his head hung low and I felt awful but the anger wouldn't stop. The panic was too high.
"We just met two days ago, yes. But I do know you, and I think maybe you know me too."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "Yeah of course I know you. Your Jensen Fucking Ackles, your famous, your a good to some people and girl's would kill to have this chance to be this close to you and hear you say these things but you don't know who I am, and your lucky."
He shook his head, "No. I don't mean you know who I am on paper, I meant you know me on the inside. I know you felt it too, the connection we had the instant our eyes met during the panel, and every time after that. I know you feel this too, and if i'm wrong say it and I'll leave you alone."
My head dropped to my feet and I bit back the tears that were threatening to come out. I so wanted to believe him, because he was right I did feel it too, but the fact that he would be interested in somebody like me, especially after what he found out, was too hard to believe. I couldn't.
"Your only here because you found out some shitty part of my life, that's the only reason your pushing so hard. If you didn't know that, you would have went your separate way."
His face turned in hurt and disbelief as he stepped back. "Seriously? That's what you think?" He quickly grabbed his bag and opened it, pulling out the journal I accidently left earlier, and passing it to me. "Read what I wrote and tell me that I'm not being honest here."
With shaky hands, I grabbed the journal from him and opened it, spotting the secret message he wrote earlier today.
"Y/N, I really hope to see you again, (xxx-xxx-xxx) Please call me, Jensen Ackles."
A single tear dropped down my cheek as I read it over and over, he really did care. He did want to get to know you, but I pushed him away. I was so... angry and mean and unforgiving.
I couldn't lift my head, I couldn't face him and my chest became tighter as I stood in my spot. He was speaking but it was muffled, my vision started to go white as the panic finally took over me.
I pulled my head up and looked at him, noticing the clear panic written all over his face as he stepped closer, hands on my arms tightly. My legs quickly gave out as I slid to the ground, trying to control my breathing, to not panic but it was too much, everything was too much and I couldn't do this.
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Jensen's POV
Panic overtook my body as I watched her fall apart in my arms, she wasn't there, she was distant and gone, sucked in the whirlwind of her panic attack.
I tried everything I could to bring her back but she was too gone, I didn't even think she could hear me at this point. Her breathing was rapid and heavy followed with loud gasps filling the open air.
"Y/N, Look at me, Please!" I shouted, my hand moving to her cheek that was burning under my touch.
Her eyes started fluttering shut causing my heart to pound in my chest. It was too late, it was too much for her. "No-No! Open your eyes sweetie, please breathe!"
But it was no use, her eyes shut tight as her body went limp in my arms.
Fuck, fuck fuck!
I pulled her onto my lap and held her tight to my chest as I pulled out my phone, quickly calling Jared to my aid. I don't even remember talking to him or what I said because I was so focused on her weak and lifeless body, but soon enough a car pulled in and Jared jumped out.
I picked her up gently in my arms, my eyes never leaving her face.
"What the fuck happened?" Jared shouted before rushing to open the door. My gaze moved up towards Jared and I could feel tears behind my eyes, "S-She had a panic attack, a bad one."
Jared nodded understandably and got back into the car. "Where are we going? Do you know where she lives?"
I frowned to myself and shook my head, "Just go to the hotel, I'll set her up in my room for tonight."
As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Jared ran inside to make sure nobody would be able to spot us. I stared down at her and sighed sadly, my thumb rubbing the dirt off her forehead. "I promise, everything is going to be okay Honey, but you need to trust me." I whispered.
Soon, we were entering my hotel room and I gently placed her on the bed. Jared said his goodnights and left, leaving her and I alone. I frowned at the sight of her muddy clothing, I felt wrong for changing her but I knew she would appreciate clean clothes in the morning.
I couldn't help but watch the way she slept, the way her body sunk into the mattress like it was the comfiest thing in the world and my heart panged at the thought that she might not even remember the last time she actually slept in a bed.
I watched her breathing, sighing in relief at the even breaths, in and out. She was so beautiful, so amazing and kind and she had no idea, it killed me.
I wouldn't let her sleep in the car again, not if I could help it but she's just as stubborn as I am, maybe more. I smiled at the way her face relaxed in her sleep, and I couldn't help but reach forward to brush the hair off her face.
I sat back and replayed the events of tonight. I hated that she thought I pitied her or felt bad, I mean I did but that's not why I wanted to be here. I just... felt this need and want to protect her at all costs, to be there for her. I was going to fight for this and fight for her, because believe it or not, this was fate.
I wasn't going to lose her again.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
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agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
The Broken Fan - Chapter 4
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: Everything goes wrong, way too fast.
Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety, mentions of drinking, mentions of bar, swearing, scared Jensen, Panickedreader! Mean girls!
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Today was the day.
Everybody was excited to attend the signing, to have at least a few minutes with Jensen and Jared, their very own meet and greet.
I wondered how people would react if they were in my shoes last night, if they happened to crash into Jensen and be invited in for a drink. Would they freak out like I did? Would they blow their shot in under 20 minutes?
I didn’t know how to feel about seeing Jensen again after last night, considering I left fairly quickly I hope he didn’t dread seeing me today.
Mainly, my nerves were at an all time high at the unknown but I couldn’t pass on this opportunity, I couldn’t waste anymore chances at being normal, not again.
Everybody was already lining up when I entered the hotel lobby, two straight long lines nearly beside each other. I looked ahead and spotted Jensens table on the right, Jared’s on the left.
I hesitated, wondering which table to go to. If I went to Jared’s than Jensen may think I’m avoiding him or I didn’t like him in the first place. If I went in Jensen’s though it may look like I’m either a stalker, or it will be super awkward.
I stepped in Jared’s line and frowned. It didn’t feel right being here, wrong choice. As soon as I crossed and stepped into Jensen’s line, I felt a calm rush wave over me and I nearly rolled my eyes.
Okay, I guess this is where I’m staying.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and I jumped, before turning to face Vanessa and Amber, the two girls from day 1. My smile faded when I noticed the scowl on their faces and their eyes judging me to the core.
“Hi Y/N. How was your night in your car?” Vanessa spoke harshly. I bit my tongue and plastered on a poker face, “It was fine but I can’t wait to get home.”
She rolled her eyes towards Amber and laughed before I turned around, I don’t really know what their problem is with me today but at this point I didn’t care. I was becoming excited to see him again, and hopefully make up for last night.
I clutched the Supernatural journal I had in my hands and sighed in relief when the line started moving. Jensen was so close yet so far, I could see how gorgeous he looked again, laughing and smiling, interacting with everybody so kindly and patiently. It was heartwarming to see him like this.
My cheeks heated as I watched him, noticing the way his tongue peaked out when he was writing his name, eyeing the firm flex of his arms while he signed, and god, the way his eyes shined-it was all too much. He was too much.
“So Y/N.” Amber chimed in my ear, nearly giving me a heart attack. I rolled my eyes and turned in her direction.
She smiled smugly, “We saw you at the bar last night. We were going to say hi but I guess you were too occupied hanging out with Jensen and Jared.”
I froze in my spot as my eyes widened. Vanessa smirked and stepped closer until she was inches from my face. “Are you seriously trying to con your way into Jensen’s life? Stalker much?”
“I’m… not trying to do anything. He invited me for a drink.” I whispered nearly inaudibly.
A harsh laugh escaped Vanessa as her eyes narrowed. “Do you really think we are going to believe that Jensen had any interest in hanging out with a homeless chick?”
Panic. Fear. Regret.
“W-What?” I stuttered back.
Amber nodded and stepped closer to me, “We saw your car outside. You’ve clearly been living there for a long time, maybe forever. Not so much a traveller as a hobo, am I right?”
My mouth gaped open and shut, my vision started to blur as the panic set in.
She knew. They both knew. And they were using it against me. I knew I couldn’t be normal here. I knew I would be the outcast. Stupid, so stupid!
I was trembling in place, heart pounding in my ears and my mouth was so dry. The panic has officially set in and I needed to get out of here.
Before I had a chance to turn and run, one of the handlers placed their hand on my shoulder and urged me towards the table. Great, my turn.
I could barely see Jensen or anything in front of me as my vision went in and out, but I could tell he was staring at me, probably judging too.
But as soon as I stood in spot, I could feel his hand rest on top of mine shooting me straight back to reality. I looked up into his eyes and finally saw him.
He looked… scared. Concerned. Worried.
He leaned closer, “Y/N? Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off my forehead. “W-what?”
He swallowed hard. “I asked if you were okay. You don’t look so good…”
I smiled softly and nodded, trying my best to keep it together and just breathe. “Yeah, I’m fine sorry.”
He didn’t look convinced but I didn’t care. Fake it till you make it right? He smiled sadly and looked up, “What would you like me to sign?”
I nodded and took out my journal before passing it towards him. He opened it and froze, staring down at whatever he was looking at with a shocked expression.
“Oh shit what is it?” I questioned causing him to laugh. He turned to notebook towards me and I saw what his eyes caught, a not so good drawing I did of him when I was bored and having a particularly hard night.
“I forgot that was in there.”
He smiled and looked up at me, his eyes shining and staring intensely into mine just like he always did. “I love it.. did you do this?”
My cheeks warmed and I could feel the air seeping through once again, “Yeah, I did.”
“Wow.. Can I.. have it?” He questioned.
I tilted my head quizzically, “You want it?”
“Of course I do” he started “This is amazing.”
A smile erupted on my face as I grabbed the journal and carefully ripped out the page for him, and suddenly I forgot I was even panicking, I was lost in the moment with him, stuck in this warm bubble where nothing could ever hurt me.
He started to sign the journal, his eyes flicking up towards me causing my cheeks to burn. "Nice shirt, I haven't seen that one in a while."
I looked down and smirked, staring at the Dean Winchester mug shot I luckily found right before the convention but he didn't need to know that.
"Oh yeah, I've had this for years. I love it."
His head lifted up, a cocky grin spread across his lips. "Love it because it's me?"
I laughed as the blush deepened, "Meh, It was the only one I could get my hands on at the time, I wanted one of Jared to be honest."
His mouth dropped before a chuckle erupted from his throat, the most beautiful sound i've ever heard. "Oof, harsh. Here I was thinking you were a Dean girl after meeting me."
I shrugged and put on my best poker face. "Nah, I'm more of a Jensen girl." My heart fell into my stomach as soon as the words fell out, and before I could apologize for my idiotic flirty comment, he leaned backwards and covered his mouth as laughter came pouring out.
I quickly joined in laughter, hoping that my cheeks didn't look as red as they felt, but knowing my luck he could probably tell. He leaned forward and placed his hand on my notebook like a wall, shielding whatever he was writing down.
Such a beautiful bubble, so warm and comfy, I never wanted to leave. But of course, all good things come to an end.
Two rough fingers tapped my shoulders as the bubble I was in popped, bringing me back to reality. Vanessa smiled harshly and stepped closer, "So sorry to interrupt, but Y/N your car... I mean your house is being towed. Figured I should let you know before you have to sleep in the street. Although, i'm sure that's still not unusual for you."
I was paralized as I stared back at Vanessa, all the sounds around me was echoing before completly fading as I was pulled into panic mode. I turned towards Jensen in what felt like slow motion, watching him stand from his spot, hand touching my arm but I couldn't even feel it.
He shook my arm and everything came back at once, "Y/N? Hey, are you okay?"
I looked back towards the girls who were staring, laughing. It felt like everybody was laughing and it was all I could hear. I looked back at Jensen as tears welled in my eyes and my heart clenched in pain. "I-I gotta go..."
Before he could say anything, I ran out of the line as fast as my feet could take me, the feeling of everybody staring me crushing me down like a ton of bricks.
I hated it, I hated everything about this weekend. It was a mistake to even think that I could be normal here, that I could fit in. I was a fool and it was my own fault.
I could deal with other's bullying me or putting me down, but him. The way he stared at me with such pity and heartbreak, his eyes used to look so full of kindness and lust and now it was filled with fucking pity. He was never going to look at me the same way again, the memory I had with him was now tainted, poisoned and it was my own fucking fault.
I finally got outside as my car was pulling away attatched to the tow truck, my eyes filling with tears as fast as they ever could. My chest was painted with grief as I watched the only home I really knew be taken away from me. There was nothing I could do anymore, I didn't have enough to get my car out of the lot and I definitely did not have enough for a motel.
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Jensen's POV
My heart was filled with pain at how broken and upset she looked, and I finally understood now.
The first day I saw her in the crowd when I asked her if she was okay, it was because she looked so anxious, so scared, like she has never been in a crowd before. I finally understood her.
That was why she was so kind, treating me like I was a normal human, it was because she wanted to be treated the same way.
I glared at the two girls who were still laughing about the situation, ashamed that two people could even call themselves my fans after completely breaking down another person.
The blonde girl who spoke to Y/N first, was making disgusting comments, not realizing I could hear. She went off about how wrong it was to allow a girl like her in here in the first place, how embarrassing it was.
Everything inside me begged to scream at them, god how I wanted to shout right in their face, kick them out of here, or throw something. But I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't do anything, especially to two young girls, despite how big of bitches I thought they were.
I turned to my handler and insisted they came over, before whispering in his ear that I needed a break and I was leaving. He nodded and stepped forward, announcing that I would be closing the booth and I'd be back in an hour.
The look on the girl's faces were priceless, they were shocked and halfway looked annoyed and god, the anger was bubbling. I left the table as fast as I could, keeping it together until I got into the green room.
As soon as the door shut I could feel my chest tightening, my heart was shattering for her. She has been through so much, she looked so broken and defeated and all of humanity was just constantly letting her down.
I wanted to find her, I wanted to tell her that not everybody is as shitty as those two girls were. I wanted to tell her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.
God, I wanted to tell her that I wanted to be there for her, to be the person she could depend on, even though she may find me crazy, I didn't want to lose her.
I wanted to tell her. But I didn't even know where to find her. All I had was her journal and her name, that was it. I sat on the couch in defeat before Jared's words popped back into my head.
"You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."
It has to be fate right? This can't be how our story ends.
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I rubbed the temples of my head in hopes to ease the pain of the pounding headache that was beginning, but it was no use. There was too much pain, everywhere. My eyes burned from the endless tears that streamed down, my back ached from the brick wall I've been sat against for hours, but the most intense pain was in my mind.
I was defeated, alone, miserable and embarrassed. I should have known better. I should have thought this through. But tomorrow is the last day of the convention and I had nothing left. No car, no job, no money, no hope.
I regretted everything. I shouldn't have gave up everything to come here. I should have never thought for a second that Jensen would ever be interested in somebody like me.
And the worst part was now I was stuck here, in this town with these memories. I had no options, no path to follow. Nothing.
My bones creaked as I stood from my spot, every muscle heavy and tired, begging to just stay still and not move.
The sky was dark and gloomy, and I was surprised I haven't noticed the change, or how long I was even out here.
I sighed deeply as I pulled out my wallet, counting the last few bills I had. $40, not enough for my car, a motel, or really anything except maybe a few drinks at the bar.
Like I said before, I'm not a big drinker. Far from it really, I hated how people acted on the stuff. Party girls get giddy and loud, men get aggressive and cocky, and then there are the people who just can't stop drinking.
I don't drink. But tonight, I needed it more than ever. I wanted to forget, to stop the pain, to erase today's events. I needed to heal the wound that was on my heart, and crying it out was no longer an option.
By the time I got to the bar, the night has officially set, and most stores on this street were once again closed for the night. Relief hit me when I spotted only one car in the parking lot meaning I could be alone, out of attention. I walked inside and nodded towards the bartender before taking the furthest booth from the door and ordering my first drink.
As soon as I swallowed it down, I knew this wouldn't be my last. Who cares anymore?
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I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but every so often I'd see people come in, and people leave. It felt like I was watching a movie, but the button was stuck on fast forward. My drink would be empty, than filled. Empty than filled. Over and over.
I sighed and looked down at my cup which seemed to be spinning, and I started realizing that I might have had a little too much.
Was this drink number 4? No wait, this is 5... right?
The bell on the front door rang and as soon as it did, my blood ran cold. I didn't even need to look up, I knew exactly who it was. I kept my head down low, smirking when I spotted his shoes right beside the table.
"Jensen Ackles." I mumbled with a slight giggle.
The chair screeched as he sat across from me, and I could feel his eyes burning my skin. "Y/N. You doin' alright?"
I shrugged and lazily looked upwards, finally meeting his eyes. "Peachy."
He frowned as his hand came closer, but I quickly pulled it away. I really didn't need his pity, not tonight. "Why don't we go for a walk?"
I shook my head. "I'm g-good here thanks." I hiccupped.
"C'mon, let's get some air I think you had enough."
I scoffed and looked back down at my drink before chugging the rest and slamming it back down. "I-I don't think I will ever have enough actually. I think I m-may have to buy a bottle, how m-many do you think they c-cost? I have.... Ha! $10 left."
He smiled sadly and moved to my side of the table, his hand gently resting on my shoulder as he turned me to face him. "Honey, let's just get some fresh air. Please, for me?"
I rolled my eyes yet agreed, stumbling out of my seat and nearly falling on my ass. Jensen's strong grip was tight on my arm as he helped me towards the door. Everything was spinning and I felt like jello, but in a sense I loved it because the pain was gone. Well, at least the physical was.
The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks and I stumbled back, feeling Jensen's warm hand on my lower back to keep me straight. He lead me over to a bench as we sat in silence.
He sighed low, but I could hear it and guilt filled me. I bet this is not what he would rather be doing right now. I turned towards him slowly, "You can go. I'm fine."
"I don't want to leave you." He stated.
I rolled my eyes and stood from my spot, suddenly walking out of the parking lot, away from this bar, away from him, just away.
His feet were close behind me, voice echoing and mumbled as my ears blocked. "Where are you going?" He spoke louder.
I turned and smiled, waving my arms into the sky. "Nowhere. Got nowhere to go."
He frowned and stepped closer, hand reaching mine gently, burning the skin that he was touching. "Do you want to go to a hotel?"
I laughed a little too loudly and shot him a dirty look, "Funny, real funny. There's no hotels that cheap."
"I'm paying for it." He stated confidently.
I stopped and stared back at the man who had nothing but care and compassion in his eyes, but I couldn't help but feel more ridiculous, more embarrassed and more angry at the fact that this man that I've looked up to, idolized even, he was the one seeing me on one of my worst nights.
I shook my head in disbelief and walked away, a slight smile creeping on my face but it wasn't from happiness, it was from anger. I was so angry that my life was so fucked up, I was so fucking pissed off that nothing, NOTHING could ever just go right for me, not once.
I was angry that he was here, trying, and I had no idea why. Was he playing with me? Was this fun for him?
The sound of his footsteps sped up, and soon he was beside me, trying to capture my attention. “Please, just slow down. Talk to me.”
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the situation but all of a sudden the air was knocked out of my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. I stopped walking as my hand moved to my chest, silently begging for it to even out. Please, not here. Not while he’s watching.
“J-Jensen.. please, go. Go back to your hotel.” I whispered nearly inaudibly.
He shook his head and stood in front of me. “I don’t want to leave you, especially not like this.”
“I’m fine!” I nearly screamed with all my night, praying that he would get the hint and leave already. But he was just as stubborn as I was, maybe even more.
“Your not fine.” He stated sympathetically, "Honey, you don't need to pretend you are okay. Nobody would be in your situation."
A scoff escaped my lips as my eyes opened, narrowing towards him. "My situation? What, being a homeless chick? Trust me, I'm used to it. That's what I am, that's what I always will be."
He shook his head and stepped mere inches from my body, hand moving to mine to hold it tightly. "You're not just a homeless chick."
I could feel the anger bubbling further and I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to be angry with him but I was. He thought he knew me but he didn't, if he did he wouldn't be here right now, he wouldn't check in on me.
"You don't know anything Jensen. I am a nobody, I'm an outcast, I'm.... I'm a fucking ghost of a human. I'm alone and that's fine, that's alright because that's how it's always been. You don't need to pity me, you don't need to try and help me because I'm fine, the last thing I fucking need is for somebody to pretend to care, so just... leave."
He stepped back in shock before his eyebrows furrowed in sadness, "I'm not pretending with you, I do care."
"You don't even fucking know me!" I shouted loudly as I stepped closer, noticing how he flinched at my words. "You just met me what, two days ago and it's been endless drama with me. You don't know me."
He knew you were right, he only met you two days ago but it felt like it's been years. He knew you, he cared for you and a part of him loved you already. He had no idea why, but he did.
A deep sigh escaped his chest as his head hung low and I felt awful but the anger wouldn't stop. The panic was too high.
"We just met two days ago, yes. But I do know you, and I think maybe you know me too."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "Yeah of course I know you. Your Jensen Fucking Ackles, your famous, your a good to some people and girl's would kill to have this chance to be this close to you and hear you say these things but you don't know who I am, and your lucky."
He shook his head, "No. I don't mean you know who I am on paper, I meant you know me on the inside. I know you felt it too, the connection we had the instant our eyes met during the panel, and every time after that. I know you feel this too, and if i'm wrong say it and I'll leave you alone."
My head dropped to my feet and I bit back the tears that were threatening to come out. I so wanted to believe him, because he was right I did feel it too, but the fact that he would be interested in somebody like me, especially after what he found out, was too hard to believe. I couldn't.
"Your only here because you found out some shitty part of my life, that's the only reason your pushing so hard. If you didn't know that, you would have went your separate way."
His face turned in hurt and disbelief as he stepped back. "Seriously? That's what you think?" He quickly grabbed his bag and opened it, pulling out the journal I accidently left earlier, and passing it to me. "Read what I wrote and tell me that I'm not being honest here."
With shaky hands, I grabbed the journal from him and opened it, spotting the secret message he wrote earlier today.
"Y/N, I really hope to see you again, (xxx-xxx-xxx) Please call me, Jensen Ackles."
A single tear dropped down my cheek as I read it over and over, he really did care. He did want to get to know you, but I pushed him away. I was so... angry and mean and unforgiving.
I couldn't lift my head, I couldn't face him and my chest became tighter as I stood in my spot. He was speaking but it was muffled, my vision started to go white as the panic finally took over me.
I pulled my head up and looked at him, noticing the clear panic written all over his face as he stepped closer, hands on my arms tightly. My legs quickly gave out as I slid to the ground, trying to control my breathing, to not panic but it was too much, everything was too much and I couldn't do this.
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Jensen's POV
Panic overtook my body as I watched her fall apart in my arms, she wasn't there, she was distant and gone, sucked in the whirlwind of her panic attack.
I tried everything I could to bring her back but she was too gone, I didn't even think she could hear me at this point. Her breathing was rapid and heavy followed with loud gasps filling the open air.
"Y/N, Look at me, Please!" I shouted, my hand moving to her cheek that was burning under my touch.
Her eyes started fluttering shut causing my heart to pound in my chest. It was too late, it was too much for her. "No-No! Open your eyes sweetie, please breathe!"
But it was no use, her eyes shut tight as her body went limp in my arms.
Fuck, fuck fuck!
I pulled her onto my lap and held her tight to my chest as I pulled out my phone, quickly calling Jared to my aid. I don't even remember talking to him or what I said because I was so focused on her weak and lifeless body, but soon enough a car pulled in and Jared jumped out.
I picked her up gently in my arms, my eyes never leaving her face.
"What the fuck happened?" Jared shouted before rushing to open the door. My gaze moved up towards Jared and I could feel tears behind my eyes, "S-She had a panic attack, a bad one."
Jared nodded understandably and got back into the car. "Where are we going? Do you know where she lives?"
I frowned to myself and shook my head, "Just go to the hotel, I'll set her up in my room for tonight."
As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Jared ran inside to make sure nobody would be able to spot us. I stared down at her and sighed sadly, my thumb rubbing the dirt off her forehead. "I promise, everything is going to be okay Honey, but you need to trust me." I whispered.
Soon, we were entering my hotel room and I gently placed her on the bed. Jared said his goodnights and left, leaving her and I alone. I frowned at the sight of her muddy clothing, I felt wrong for changing her but I knew she would appreciate clean clothes in the morning.
I couldn't help but watch the way she slept, the way her body sunk into the mattress like it was the comfiest thing in the world and my heart panged at the thought that she might not even remember the last time she actually slept in a bed.
I watched her breathing, sighing in relief at the even breaths, in and out. She was so beautiful, so amazing and kind and she had no idea, it killed me.
I wouldn't let her sleep in the car again, not if I could help it but she's just as stubborn as I am, maybe more. I smiled at the way her face relaxed in her sleep, and I couldn't help but reach forward to brush the hair off her face.
I sat back and replayed the events of tonight. I hated that she thought I pitied her or felt bad, I mean I did but that's not why I wanted to be here. I just... felt this need and want to protect her at all costs, to be there for her. I was going to fight for this and fight for her, because believe it or not, this was fate.
I wasn't going to lose her again.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
97 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
The Broken Fan Masterlist
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
**Warnings will be added to each chapter**
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
154 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
The Broken Fan Masterlist
Tumblr media
Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
**Warnings will be added to each chapter**
Tumblr media
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
154 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
Broken Fan - Chapter 3
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: A mix of emotions, mixed signals, what is a girl supposed to thing?
Warnings: Anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, placement is in a bar for part of this story, slight panic.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Loud voices poured into the streets slowly and then all at once, and suddenly I was no longer alone.
I stood from my spot against the wall, and took in all the people flooding the entrance of the hotel once again. Casual conversations were being held about their favorite parts of the convention, how attractive the men were, and how excited for the signings everybody was.
That was one part of the convention I was most nervous about, actually meeting him. Especially after the way he stared at me, would he even recognize me? Would he judge me for freaking out and leaving?
Part of me didn't even want to go to the signing tomorrow, I wanted to get in my car and head back to my hometown, never look back. But I knew I couldn't do that. I spent almost all of my money for this chance, this moment to feel like a part of civilization, so that when I had to go back to my normal-shitty life, at least I could hold onto these moments to get me through the dark nights.
That's why I came here, this is what I wanted and needed to do, and I was determined to get over myself and meet the man who saved my life.
I was being dramatic earlier, so what if he stared at me? It didn't mean anything, he was just connecting with his fans, but why did it end up being me? Why did I have to overthink the way his eyes bored into mine. Why do I keep having flashbacks of that gorgeous smile that was spread across his face?
And fuck sakes, WHY did I feel a connection when there clearly wasn't one. He was famous, I was a nobody. It was stupid and I hated my mind.
I was going to forget it even happened, that was my goal.
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Night finally approached and the streets got quiet, everybody went back to their hotel rooms to get some sleep for tomorrow.
I spent the day trying to relax myself as I put on some Supernatural episodes, but it felt different now. Watching Dean on the screen felt wrong, nearly uncomfortable because I felt like I no longer knew Dean. I felt like I knew Jensen.
I sighed and shut my phone down as the sky got even darker. I couldn't sit in my car any longer so I decided to go for a walk, even though I had no idea where I was.
There were a few stores down this street, but a majority of them were already closed for the night, but hope filled me when I spotted the bar at the end of the block.
Quickly checking my wallet, I smiled contentedly when I noticed I had enough for a quick drink, even though I barely drank as is. I wasn’t really a heavy drinker, I’ve been to block parties or went to bars for some fun, but I didn’t enjoy drinking too much. After todays events, I needed just enough to calm my nerves.
The parking lot was nearly empty, except for a few cars, which made me sigh in relief. Less people the better. It was a small place, sort of secluded and quiet.
I walked in and looked around, spotting only a few others inside at tables and sitting at the bar. With such a weird name like the "The Thirsty Horse", this place was actually quite cute. There were pool tables and a jukebox, and a dart board. It was nice and calming, exactly where I needed to be.
I grabbed my drink and sat at a corner booth, sipping slowly while looking around at my surroundings. I couldn't help but smile at the scattered people either on a date or chatting with their buddies, it sort of made me feel less alone to see them interacting.
Halfway through my drink, the bell to the door rang and two men in hoodies entered, heading straight for the bar. The taller man scanned the room while the shorter one talked to the bartender who simply nodded, and then went to lock the bar door.
Confusion and anxiety seeped in as I watched them act sketchy, until the door was locked and blinds were pulled down. The tall man took his sweater and glasses off first, and my jaw nearly dropped when I recognized the mystery figure.
Jared Padalecki.
My heart nearly stopped beating. If that was Jared, that could only mean....
The second man took off his sweater and my thought was confirmed. There he was, Jensen Ackles. They were here, in the same bar, only a few feet away, and directly by the door so I couldn't leave.
Fuck.
Jensen scanned the room in a way that made my heart beat faster. It was almost as if he sensed somebody here, like he was looking for somebody he knew.
I pushed my head in my drink and stayed low, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't notice, not after today, not with how I looked now. Thankfully, they didn't seem to recognize or even see me as they walked to the pool table and started chatting away like normal people, but I couldn't help but slightly watch the interaction. They looked so... normal. So regular.
Occasionally Jensen's eyes would scan the room once again, and every time I'd lower myself until it was nearly impossible to see him. I avoided watching them and quickly finished my drink before slowly sitting up, trying to spot the boys.
Jared was leaning against the bar chatting to the bartender and Jensen was nowhere to be found. I breathed easy when I realized he was probably in the bathroom, now was my chance. I got out of my seat and kept my head down, nodding at the bartender to lock the door after I left, and I rushed out.
My eyes stayed on the figures behind me, trying to make sure that Jensen didn't exit and see me, but he wasn't there. Thank god.
As soon as I turned to step out the door, my body ran into a firm figure in front of me, and I fell to the ground tangled with the poor victim of my clumsiness.
Embarrassment and anxiety was filling me as I started to untangle myself. "Shit! I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention."
"No problem at all." The famiar voice spoke, causing my heart to skip a beat. I knew that voice. Hesitantly, my eyes flickered up spotting the very man I was trying to avoid. Jensen.
He smiled softly as he stood from his spot, reaching his hand out to help me stand back up. With a shaky hand, I grabbed his and stood from my spot mere inches from him. His eyes were locked on mine once again, and I could barely breathe.
With all the strength I had, I ripped my gaze from his and stared down at the ground. "Uh, Seriously though I am really sorry."
He chuckled lightly as he dusted the dirt off his jeans, "Seriously though, it's totally fine."
I nodded and walked around him, swallowing hard with every step I took away from him. My entire body was buzzing and I felt like I could probably throw up at any moment, he must really think much about me now.
"Wait." He spoke, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning slowly, I tried to best to hide the look of anxiety that was probably stretched all across my face, and simply nodded for him to go on.
He stepped closer, "Your the girl from the convention right? Middle row?"
Oh god, he did remember me. What do I do? Shit, speak dummy, speak!
"Um, yeah that was me."
His smile widened and his hands moved into his pockets, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks as he stared back. "I thought I recognized you."
I giggled nervously and nodded, "Yup..."
Before my thoughts could run wild, he looked back to the bar and than to me, "Did you want to come in for a drink with me and Jared?"
Wait, what? Did I hear that right? I'm dreaming... Right?
He laughed at my shocked expression and held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable, don't feel inclined to say yes, I just figured..."
He stopped for a second and I laughed lightly, "You just figured there was a fan who was meeting the people she always wanted to, and you felt inclined to do something nice, like a wish for a cancer kid or that sort of thing."
His smile dropped and I mentally kicked myself, nice way of wording it.
I shook my head frantically and stepped closer, "God, that was so rude I'm sorry."
"It's all good." He laughed out, "I was actually going to say that I figured if you didn't like the panel, I wanted to make it up to you."
I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Why do you think I didn't like the panel?"
He shrugged, "You did leave 15 minutes in."
"Oh." I whispered. "Right."
How the hell do I explain this one?
Before I could respond, he stepped closer, arms crossing over his body. "It's okay if you don't want to, I wouldn't be offended. If you end up changing your mind and want to come join us, we would be happy to have you." With that, he smiled and walked back to the entrance, only turning back at the door to shoot me yet another bright smile.
I stood in my spot for what felt like hours contemplating my decision. I could either go inside and drink with the boys-possibly have a great experience and get to know them better, or I could go home and wait till tomorrow, possibly regretting not saying yes.
I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why he even wanted me to drink with him, was it pity? Maybe it was his ego because I left the panel early, or maybe he felt the same thing I did-No that's stupid… right?
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Jensen’s POV
I couldn’t take my eyes off those damn doors.
Was she going to come in? Did I come off too strong or make her uncomfortable, yet again?
I have no idea why this is happening, why I’m acting like a 17 year old boy who’s on my first date, I don’t even know her!
But there’s something about her I can’t place ever since the first day I saw her in the crowd. She looked so… vulnerable. So innocent and kind. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection between us. I felt it when my eyes reached hers, I felt it when she crashed into me and she apologized for her sassy remark, there was something.
Maybe I was being stupid, but I swear she is different. She didn’t fangirl or freak out when she saw me, she treated me like a regular human being. She looked at me as if we were the same, and I adored that.
I don’t know what was going on or what it was about her, but I felt the need to talk to her more. To see her again.
Did she feel it too?
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After mustering up as much courage I could, the doors swung open and I stepped inside, instantly feeling Jensen's eyes on me. I smiled nervously and crossed the room until I was directly in front of him.
"Hey, so glad you decided to join us." He stated confidently.
I shrugged and bit back the kiddish smile that wanted to appear, "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."
The silence was deafening, every moment that passed only made the tension grow higher. Jensen quickly cleared his throat and turned towards Jared, who was staring like he was watching a very interesting episode of his favorite show.
"Sorry, Jared this is..." Jensen froze and turned back towards me, "You never actually told me your name."
I shook my head as I laughed and stepped closer, reaching my hand out, "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too Y/N, i'm going to get us some shots, you drink?"
I nodded in response as I sat at the table, trying to ignore the way Jensen's eyes were heating up every inch of my body the more he stared. He sat beside me quickly, turning to face my direction. "So..."
"So..." I repeated quietly, causing his chest to boom with laughter, god his laugh was beautiful.
"So, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
I turned in confusion, "What?"
"At the panel." He stated, "I apologize if when I kept looking at you, it made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable."
I shook my head frantically as a laugh escaped my throat, "You didn't. I'm pretty sure any fan would die if the great Jensen Ackles couldn't keep his eyes off of her."
His laugh was stronger, more powerful and it send shivers down my spine. "Not you though."
I stared back and waited, noting the way his smile faltered slightly. "The great Jensen Ackles doesn't have that effect on you huh?"
My cheeks burned red and I turned away, shrugging my shoulders. "I never said it didn't.
Like a saviour, Jared returned and placed all the shots in front of us, indicating for all of us to take a shot.
"Jensen, your first for pool." He stated, before taking Jensen's spot on the bench beside me.
Jared turned towards me and smirked, "So..."
I nearly choked on my drink as laughter erupted, "Wow, you and Jensen really are brothers eh? That's exactly how he started our conversation."
Jared laugh in response and nodded, "Yeah we know practically everything about eachother, which is why I wanted to ask... What did you do or say to catch Jensen's eye so quickly?"
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I looked towards Jensen, and than Jared. "What?"
He shrugged and moved closer, "He never invites fans to have drinks, even when they ask. So I'm curious how you got an in."
I could suddenly feel reality slam right back into me, he was right. Who was I? Why was I here. I know Jared probably didn't mean anything with his comments, but I could suddenly feel guilty and embarrassed that it might look like I forced my way in here and that's not what I wanted to do, at all.
I took my last shot and smiled at Jared, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I actually have to head back, big day at the convetion tomorrow, thank you for letting me join and it was so good to see you again Jensen, so good to meet you Jared."
Before the boys could say anything, I rushed as fast as I could out of the bar, my heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe.
Was Jared right? Did I force my way into his life somehow or was it genuine? I was an idiot for thinking he wanted me there, right? I didn't know what to think, but I knew I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and anxious to see him tomorrow.
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Jensen's POV
As soon as the bar door shut, I felt my heart pang in my chest. I don't understand, I thought we were getting somewhere, was that a stupid idea? I knew it was risky inviting a fan to have a drink with me, but she's different, what went wrong?
My gaze moved to Jared and I stepped closer, swatting his shoulder. "What did you say to her?"
He held his hands up in defense as a shocked expression appeared, "I didn't say anything, I was joking with her."
I grit my teeth and stared, "What did you say?"
He sighed and pushed the hair from his face, "I just asked her what she said or did to get an in with you considering you never ask fans to grab a drink with them."
I could feel the anger bubbling, "Your an idiot. You realize you made it seem like she conned her way into here, like I'm not the one who invited her and wanted her here."
Jared's expression faded as he realized what I was talking about, finally. "Oh. Shit, yeah I can see that now. I'm sorry dude I didn't think of it that way."
I sighed and sat beside him, finishing the shots that were laid out in front of us. Jared's hand came down on my shoulder as he brought another shot to his lips. "Seriously man, I'm sorry."
I shrugged, "It's okay. It might have been a bad idea to invite her anyways."
"Why did you." he whispered, "Just curious."
A deep sigh escaped my throat as I thought of an answer I didn't have, "I really don't know. I saw her at the convention and I just... I don't know, felt something? It's stupid, I don't even know her."
"It's not stupid." Jared started, "You can't help who you connect with, maybe she is special. I mean, you have never once invited somebody out for drinks with us unless it was a coworker or you've been dating them for a while. Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at her."
I shrugged and turned towards him, "But I don't know her."
He smiled lightly, "I don't think that matters, your heart wants what it wants, there's a reason why you felt so connected to her, you just need to figure out why."
"But, isn't this just complicated and stupid? Messing with a fan?"
Jared laughed loudly, "First of all, don't call it messing. Second, I met her for about two miniutes but I can say she did not treat you like you were a famous actor, or me for that matter, and she didn't act like a fan. That's not all she is."
I nodded, "Yeah, your right. I actually felt... human around her. Like I wasn't a celebrity or a piece of meat, she just treated me like normal. But I don't know how she feels, I may have come on too strong and blown it."
Jared shook his head, "You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."
Let the world decide. Pshh. I didn't really believe in fate, but after these two interactions with you, I was starting to think maybe Jared had a point, maybe it was fate.
Maybe you were made for me.
Maybe.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
60 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
Broken Fan - Chapter 3
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: A mix of emotions, mixed signals, what is a girl supposed to thing?
Warnings: Anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, placement is in a bar for part of this story, slight panic.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Loud voices poured into the streets slowly and then all at once, and suddenly I was no longer alone.
I stood from my spot against the wall, and took in all the people flooding the entrance of the hotel once again. Casual conversations were being held about their favorite parts of the convention, how attractive the men were, and how excited for the signings everybody was.
That was one part of the convention I was most nervous about, actually meeting him. Especially after the way he stared at me, would he even recognize me? Would he judge me for freaking out and leaving?
Part of me didn't even want to go to the signing tomorrow, I wanted to get in my car and head back to my hometown, never look back. But I knew I couldn't do that. I spent almost all of my money for this chance, this moment to feel like a part of civilization, so that when I had to go back to my normal-shitty life, at least I could hold onto these moments to get me through the dark nights.
That's why I came here, this is what I wanted and needed to do, and I was determined to get over myself and meet the man who saved my life.
I was being dramatic earlier, so what if he stared at me? It didn't mean anything, he was just connecting with his fans, but why did it end up being me? Why did I have to overthink the way his eyes bored into mine. Why do I keep having flashbacks of that gorgeous smile that was spread across his face?
And fuck sakes, WHY did I feel a connection when there clearly wasn't one. He was famous, I was a nobody. It was stupid and I hated my mind.
I was going to forget it even happened, that was my goal.
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Night finally approached and the streets got quiet, everybody went back to their hotel rooms to get some sleep for tomorrow.
I spent the day trying to relax myself as I put on some Supernatural episodes, but it felt different now. Watching Dean on the screen felt wrong, nearly uncomfortable because I felt like I no longer knew Dean. I felt like I knew Jensen.
I sighed and shut my phone down as the sky got even darker. I couldn't sit in my car any longer so I decided to go for a walk, even though I had no idea where I was.
There were a few stores down this street, but a majority of them were already closed for the night, but hope filled me when I spotted the bar at the end of the block.
Quickly checking my wallet, I smiled contentedly when I noticed I had enough for a quick drink, even though I barely drank as is. I wasn’t really a heavy drinker, I’ve been to block parties or went to bars for some fun, but I didn’t enjoy drinking too much. After todays events, I needed just enough to calm my nerves.
The parking lot was nearly empty, except for a few cars, which made me sigh in relief. Less people the better. It was a small place, sort of secluded and quiet.
I walked in and looked around, spotting only a few others inside at tables and sitting at the bar. With such a weird name like the "The Thirsty Horse", this place was actually quite cute. There were pool tables and a jukebox, and a dart board. It was nice and calming, exactly where I needed to be.
I grabbed my drink and sat at a corner booth, sipping slowly while looking around at my surroundings. I couldn't help but smile at the scattered people either on a date or chatting with their buddies, it sort of made me feel less alone to see them interacting.
Halfway through my drink, the bell to the door rang and two men in hoodies entered, heading straight for the bar. The taller man scanned the room while the shorter one talked to the bartender who simply nodded, and then went to lock the bar door.
Confusion and anxiety seeped in as I watched them act sketchy, until the door was locked and blinds were pulled down. The tall man took his sweater and glasses off first, and my jaw nearly dropped when I recognized the mystery figure.
Jared Padalecki.
My heart nearly stopped beating. If that was Jared, that could only mean....
The second man took off his sweater and my thought was confirmed. There he was, Jensen Ackles. They were here, in the same bar, only a few feet away, and directly by the door so I couldn't leave.
Fuck.
Jensen scanned the room in a way that made my heart beat faster. It was almost as if he sensed somebody here, like he was looking for somebody he knew.
I pushed my head in my drink and stayed low, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't notice, not after today, not with how I looked now. Thankfully, they didn't seem to recognize or even see me as they walked to the pool table and started chatting away like normal people, but I couldn't help but slightly watch the interaction. They looked so... normal. So regular.
Occasionally Jensen's eyes would scan the room once again, and every time I'd lower myself until it was nearly impossible to see him. I avoided watching them and quickly finished my drink before slowly sitting up, trying to spot the boys.
Jared was leaning against the bar chatting to the bartender and Jensen was nowhere to be found. I breathed easy when I realized he was probably in the bathroom, now was my chance. I got out of my seat and kept my head down, nodding at the bartender to lock the door after I left, and I rushed out.
My eyes stayed on the figures behind me, trying to make sure that Jensen didn't exit and see me, but he wasn't there. Thank god.
As soon as I turned to step out the door, my body ran into a firm figure in front of me, and I fell to the ground tangled with the poor victim of my clumsiness.
Embarrassment and anxiety was filling me as I started to untangle myself. "Shit! I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention."
"No problem at all." The famiar voice spoke, causing my heart to skip a beat. I knew that voice. Hesitantly, my eyes flickered up spotting the very man I was trying to avoid. Jensen.
He smiled softly as he stood from his spot, reaching his hand out to help me stand back up. With a shaky hand, I grabbed his and stood from my spot mere inches from him. His eyes were locked on mine once again, and I could barely breathe.
With all the strength I had, I ripped my gaze from his and stared down at the ground. "Uh, Seriously though I am really sorry."
He chuckled lightly as he dusted the dirt off his jeans, "Seriously though, it's totally fine."
I nodded and walked around him, swallowing hard with every step I took away from him. My entire body was buzzing and I felt like I could probably throw up at any moment, he must really think much about me now.
"Wait." He spoke, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning slowly, I tried to best to hide the look of anxiety that was probably stretched all across my face, and simply nodded for him to go on.
He stepped closer, "Your the girl from the convention right? Middle row?"
Oh god, he did remember me. What do I do? Shit, speak dummy, speak!
"Um, yeah that was me."
His smile widened and his hands moved into his pockets, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks as he stared back. "I thought I recognized you."
I giggled nervously and nodded, "Yup..."
Before my thoughts could run wild, he looked back to the bar and than to me, "Did you want to come in for a drink with me and Jared?"
Wait, what? Did I hear that right? I'm dreaming... Right?
He laughed at my shocked expression and held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable, don't feel inclined to say yes, I just figured..."
He stopped for a second and I laughed lightly, "You just figured there was a fan who was meeting the people she always wanted to, and you felt inclined to do something nice, like a wish for a cancer kid or that sort of thing."
His smile dropped and I mentally kicked myself, nice way of wording it.
I shook my head frantically and stepped closer, "God, that was so rude I'm sorry."
"It's all good." He laughed out, "I was actually going to say that I figured if you didn't like the panel, I wanted to make it up to you."
I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Why do you think I didn't like the panel?"
He shrugged, "You did leave 15 minutes in."
"Oh." I whispered. "Right."
How the hell do I explain this one?
Before I could respond, he stepped closer, arms crossing over his body. "It's okay if you don't want to, I wouldn't be offended. If you end up changing your mind and want to come join us, we would be happy to have you." With that, he smiled and walked back to the entrance, only turning back at the door to shoot me yet another bright smile.
I stood in my spot for what felt like hours contemplating my decision. I could either go inside and drink with the boys-possibly have a great experience and get to know them better, or I could go home and wait till tomorrow, possibly regretting not saying yes.
I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why he even wanted me to drink with him, was it pity? Maybe it was his ego because I left the panel early, or maybe he felt the same thing I did-No that's stupid… right?
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Jensen’s POV
I couldn’t take my eyes off those damn doors.
Was she going to come in? Did I come off too strong or make her uncomfortable, yet again?
I have no idea why this is happening, why I’m acting like a 17 year old boy who’s on my first date, I don’t even know her!
But there’s something about her I can’t place ever since the first day I saw her in the crowd. She looked so… vulnerable. So innocent and kind. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection between us. I felt it when my eyes reached hers, I felt it when she crashed into me and she apologized for her sassy remark, there was something.
Maybe I was being stupid, but I swear she is different. She didn’t fangirl or freak out when she saw me, she treated me like a regular human being. She looked at me as if we were the same, and I adored that.
I don’t know what was going on or what it was about her, but I felt the need to talk to her more. To see her again.
Did she feel it too?
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After mustering up as much courage I could, the doors swung open and I stepped inside, instantly feeling Jensen's eyes on me. I smiled nervously and crossed the room until I was directly in front of him.
"Hey, so glad you decided to join us." He stated confidently.
I shrugged and bit back the kiddish smile that wanted to appear, "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."
The silence was deafening, every moment that passed only made the tension grow higher. Jensen quickly cleared his throat and turned towards Jared, who was staring like he was watching a very interesting episode of his favorite show.
"Sorry, Jared this is..." Jensen froze and turned back towards me, "You never actually told me your name."
I shook my head as I laughed and stepped closer, reaching my hand out, "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too Y/N, i'm going to get us some shots, you drink?"
I nodded in response as I sat at the table, trying to ignore the way Jensen's eyes were heating up every inch of my body the more he stared. He sat beside me quickly, turning to face my direction. "So..."
"So..." I repeated quietly, causing his chest to boom with laughter, god his laugh was beautiful.
"So, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
I turned in confusion, "What?"
"At the panel." He stated, "I apologize if when I kept looking at you, it made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable."
I shook my head frantically as a laugh escaped my throat, "You didn't. I'm pretty sure any fan would die if the great Jensen Ackles couldn't keep his eyes off of her."
His laugh was stronger, more powerful and it send shivers down my spine. "Not you though."
I stared back and waited, noting the way his smile faltered slightly. "The great Jensen Ackles doesn't have that effect on you huh?"
My cheeks burned red and I turned away, shrugging my shoulders. "I never said it didn't.
Like a saviour, Jared returned and placed all the shots in front of us, indicating for all of us to take a shot.
"Jensen, your first for pool." He stated, before taking Jensen's spot on the bench beside me.
Jared turned towards me and smirked, "So..."
I nearly choked on my drink as laughter erupted, "Wow, you and Jensen really are brothers eh? That's exactly how he started our conversation."
Jared laugh in response and nodded, "Yeah we know practically everything about eachother, which is why I wanted to ask... What did you do or say to catch Jensen's eye so quickly?"
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I looked towards Jensen, and than Jared. "What?"
He shrugged and moved closer, "He never invites fans to have drinks, even when they ask. So I'm curious how you got an in."
I could suddenly feel reality slam right back into me, he was right. Who was I? Why was I here. I know Jared probably didn't mean anything with his comments, but I could suddenly feel guilty and embarrassed that it might look like I forced my way in here and that's not what I wanted to do, at all.
I took my last shot and smiled at Jared, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I actually have to head back, big day at the convetion tomorrow, thank you for letting me join and it was so good to see you again Jensen, so good to meet you Jared."
Before the boys could say anything, I rushed as fast as I could out of the bar, my heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe.
Was Jared right? Did I force my way into his life somehow or was it genuine? I was an idiot for thinking he wanted me there, right? I didn't know what to think, but I knew I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and anxious to see him tomorrow.
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Jensen's POV
As soon as the bar door shut, I felt my heart pang in my chest. I don't understand, I thought we were getting somewhere, was that a stupid idea? I knew it was risky inviting a fan to have a drink with me, but she's different, what went wrong?
My gaze moved to Jared and I stepped closer, swatting his shoulder. "What did you say to her?"
He held his hands up in defense as a shocked expression appeared, "I didn't say anything, I was joking with her."
I grit my teeth and stared, "What did you say?"
He sighed and pushed the hair from his face, "I just asked her what she said or did to get an in with you considering you never ask fans to grab a drink with them."
I could feel the anger bubbling, "Your an idiot. You realize you made it seem like she conned her way into here, like I'm not the one who invited her and wanted her here."
Jared's expression faded as he realized what I was talking about, finally. "Oh. Shit, yeah I can see that now. I'm sorry dude I didn't think of it that way."
I sighed and sat beside him, finishing the shots that were laid out in front of us. Jared's hand came down on my shoulder as he brought another shot to his lips. "Seriously man, I'm sorry."
I shrugged, "It's okay. It might have been a bad idea to invite her anyways."
"Why did you." he whispered, "Just curious."
A deep sigh escaped my throat as I thought of an answer I didn't have, "I really don't know. I saw her at the convention and I just... I don't know, felt something? It's stupid, I don't even know her."
"It's not stupid." Jared started, "You can't help who you connect with, maybe she is special. I mean, you have never once invited somebody out for drinks with us unless it was a coworker or you've been dating them for a while. Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at her."
I shrugged and turned towards him, "But I don't know her."
He smiled lightly, "I don't think that matters, your heart wants what it wants, there's a reason why you felt so connected to her, you just need to figure out why."
"But, isn't this just complicated and stupid? Messing with a fan?"
Jared laughed loudly, "First of all, don't call it messing. Second, I met her for about two miniutes but I can say she did not treat you like you were a famous actor, or me for that matter, and she didn't act like a fan. That's not all she is."
I nodded, "Yeah, your right. I actually felt... human around her. Like I wasn't a celebrity or a piece of meat, she just treated me like normal. But I don't know how she feels, I may have come on too strong and blown it."
Jared shook his head, "You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."
Let the world decide. Pshh. I didn't really believe in fate, but after these two interactions with you, I was starting to think maybe Jared had a point, maybe it was fate.
Maybe you were made for me.
Maybe.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
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agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
The Broken Fan Masterlist
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
**Warnings will be added to each chapter**
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
154 notes · View notes
agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months
Text
Broken Fan - Chapter 3
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Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)
Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?
Chapter Summary: A mix of emotions, mixed signals, what is a girl supposed to think?
Warnings: Anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, placement is in a bar for part of this story, slight panic.
Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!
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Loud voices poured into the streets slowly and then all at once, and suddenly I was no longer alone.
I stood from my spot against the wall, and took in all the people flooding the entrance of the hotel once again. Casual conversations were being held about their favorite parts of the convention, how attractive the men were, and how excited for the signings everybody was.
That was one part of the convention I was most nervous about, actually meeting him. Especially after the way he stared at me, would he even recognize me? Would he judge me for freaking out and leaving?
Part of me didn't even want to go to the signing tomorrow, I wanted to get in my car and head back to my hometown, never look back. But I knew I couldn't do that. I spent almost all of my money for this chance, this moment to feel like a part of civilization, so that when I had to go back to my normal-shitty life, at least I could hold onto these moments to get me through the dark nights.
That's why I came here, this is what I wanted and needed to do, and I was determined to get over myself and meet the man who saved my life.
I was being dramatic earlier, so what if he stared at me? It didn't mean anything, he was just connecting with his fans, but why did it end up being me? Why did I have to overthink the way his eyes bored into mine. Why do I keep having flashbacks of that gorgeous smile that was spread across his face?
And fuck sakes, WHY did I feel a connection when there clearly wasn't one. He was famous, I was a nobody. It was stupid and I hated my mind.
I was going to forget it even happened, that was my goal.
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Night finally approached and the streets got quiet, everybody went back to their hotel rooms to get some sleep for tomorrow.
I spent the day trying to relax myself as I put on some Supernatural episodes, but it felt different now. Watching Dean on the screen felt wrong, nearly uncomfortable because I felt like I no longer knew Dean. I felt like I knew Jensen.
I sighed and shut my phone down as the sky got even darker. I couldn't sit in my car any longer so I decided to go for a walk, even though I had no idea where I was.
There were a few stores down this street, but a majority of them were already closed for the night, but hope filled me when I spotted the bar at the end of the block.
Quickly checking my wallet, I smiled contentedly when I noticed I had enough for a quick drink, even though I barely drank as is. I wasn’t really a heavy drinker, I’ve been to block parties or went to bars for some fun, but I didn’t enjoy drinking too much. After todays events, I needed just enough to calm my nerves.
The parking lot was nearly empty, except for a few cars, which made me sigh in relief. Less people the better. It was a small place, sort of secluded and quiet.
I walked in and looked around, spotting only a few others inside at tables and sitting at the bar. With such a weird name like the "The Thirsty Horse", this place was actually quite cute. There were pool tables and a jukebox, and a dart board. It was nice and calming, exactly where I needed to be.
I grabbed my drink and sat at a corner booth, sipping slowly while looking around at my surroundings. I couldn't help but smile at the scattered people either on a date or chatting with their buddies, it sort of made me feel less alone to see them interacting.
Halfway through my drink, the bell to the door rang and two men in hoodies entered, heading straight for the bar. The taller man scanned the room while the shorter one talked to the bartender who simply nodded, and then went to lock the bar door.
Confusion and anxiety seeped in as I watched them act sketchy, until the door was locked and blinds were pulled down. The tall man took his sweater and glasses off first, and my jaw nearly dropped when I recognized the mystery figure.
Jared Padalecki.
My heart nearly stopped beating. If that was Jared, that could only mean....
The second man took off his sweater and my thought was confirmed. There he was, Jensen Ackles. They were here, in the same bar, only a few feet away, and directly by the door so I couldn't leave.
Fuck.
Jensen scanned the room in a way that made my heart beat faster. It was almost as if he sensed somebody here, like he was looking for somebody he knew.
I pushed my head in my drink and stayed low, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't notice, not after today, not with how I looked now. Thankfully, they didn't seem to recognize or even see me as they walked to the pool table and started chatting away like normal people, but I couldn't help but slightly watch the interaction. They looked so... normal. So regular.
Occasionally Jensen's eyes would scan the room once again, and every time I'd lower myself until it was nearly impossible to see him. I avoided watching them and quickly finished my drink before slowly sitting up, trying to spot the boys.
Jared was leaning against the bar chatting to the bartender and Jensen was nowhere to be found. I breathed easy when I realized he was probably in the bathroom, now was my chance. I got out of my seat and kept my head down, nodding at the bartender to lock the door after I left, and I rushed out.
My eyes stayed on the figures behind me, trying to make sure that Jensen didn't exit and see me, but he wasn't there. Thank god.
As soon as I turned to step out the door, my body ran into a firm figure in front of me, and I fell to the ground tangled with the poor victim of my clumsiness.
Embarrassment and anxiety was filling me as I started to untangle myself. "Shit! I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention."
"No problem at all." The famiar voice spoke, causing my heart to skip a beat. I knew that voice. Hesitantly, my eyes flickered up spotting the very man I was trying to avoid. Jensen.
He smiled softly as he stood from his spot, reaching his hand out to help me stand back up. With a shaky hand, I grabbed his and stood from my spot mere inches from him. His eyes were locked on mine once again, and I could barely breathe.
With all the strength I had, I ripped my gaze from his and stared down at the ground. "Uh, Seriously though I am really sorry."
He chuckled lightly as he dusted the dirt off his jeans, "Seriously though, it's totally fine."
I nodded and walked around him, swallowing hard with every step I took away from him. My entire body was buzzing and I felt like I could probably throw up at any moment, he must really think much about me now.
"Wait." He spoke, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning slowly, I tried to best to hide the look of anxiety that was probably stretched all across my face, and simply nodded for him to go on.
He stepped closer, "Your the girl from the convention right? Middle row?"
Oh god, he did remember me. What do I do? Shit, speak dummy, speak!
"Um, yeah that was me."
His smile widened and his hands moved into his pockets, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks as he stared back. "I thought I recognized you."
I giggled nervously and nodded, "Yup..."
Before my thoughts could run wild, he looked back to the bar and than to me, "Did you want to come in for a drink with me and Jared?"
Wait, what? Did I hear that right? I'm dreaming... Right?
He laughed at my shocked expression and held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable, don't feel inclined to say yes, I just figured..."
He stopped for a second and I laughed lightly, "You just figured there was a fan who was meeting the people she always wanted to, and you felt inclined to do something nice, like a wish for a cancer kid or that sort of thing."
His smile dropped and I mentally kicked myself, nice way of wording it.
I shook my head frantically and stepped closer, "God, that was so rude I'm sorry."
"It's all good." He laughed out, "I was actually going to say that I figured if you didn't like the panel, I wanted to make it up to you."
I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Why do you think I didn't like the panel?"
He shrugged, "You did leave 15 minutes in."
"Oh." I whispered. "Right."
How the hell do I explain this one?
Before I could respond, he stepped closer, arms crossing over his body. "It's okay if you don't want to, I wouldn't be offended. If you end up changing your mind and want to come join us, we would be happy to have you." With that, he smiled and walked back to the entrance, only turning back at the door to shoot me yet another bright smile.
I stood in my spot for what felt like hours contemplating my decision. I could either go inside and drink with the boys-possibly have a great experience and get to know them better, or I could go home and wait till tomorrow, possibly regretting not saying yes.
I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why he even wanted me to drink with him, was it pity? Maybe it was his ego because I left the panel early, or maybe he felt the same thing I did-No that's stupid… right?
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Jensen’s POV
I couldn’t take my eyes off those damn doors.
Was she going to come in? Did I come off too strong or make her uncomfortable, yet again?
I have no idea why this is happening, why I’m acting like a 17 year old boy who’s on my first date, I don’t even know her!
But there’s something about her I can’t place ever since the first day I saw her in the crowd. She looked so… vulnerable. So innocent and kind. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection between us. I felt it when my eyes reached hers, I felt it when she crashed into me and she apologized for her sassy remark, there was something.
Maybe I was being stupid, but I swear she is different. She didn’t fangirl or freak out when she saw me, she treated me like a regular human being. She looked at me as if we were the same, and I adored that.
I don’t know what was going on or what it was about her, but I felt the need to talk to her more. To see her again.
Did she feel it too?
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After mustering up as much courage I could, the doors swung open and I stepped inside, instantly feeling Jensen's eyes on me. I smiled nervously and crossed the room until I was directly in front of him.
"Hey, so glad you decided to join us." He stated confidently.
I shrugged and bit back the kiddish smile that wanted to appear, "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."
The silence was deafening, every moment that passed only made the tension grow higher. Jensen quickly cleared his throat and turned towards Jared, who was staring like he was watching a very interesting episode of his favorite show.
"Sorry, Jared this is..." Jensen froze and turned back towards me, "You never actually told me your name."
I shook my head as I laughed and stepped closer, reaching my hand out, "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too Y/N, i'm going to get us some shots, you drink?"
I nodded in response as I sat at the table, trying to ignore the way Jensen's eyes were heating up every inch of my body the more he stared. He sat beside me quickly, turning to face my direction. "So..."
"So..." I repeated quietly, causing his chest to boom with laughter, god his laugh was beautiful.
"So, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
I turned in confusion, "What?"
"At the panel." He stated, "I apologize if when I kept looking at you, it made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable."
I shook my head frantically as a laugh escaped my throat, "You didn't. I'm pretty sure any fan would die if the great Jensen Ackles couldn't keep his eyes off of her."
His laugh was stronger, more powerful and it send shivers down my spine. "Not you though."
I stared back and waited, noting the way his smile faltered slightly. "The great Jensen Ackles doesn't have that effect on you huh?"
My cheeks burned red and I turned away, shrugging my shoulders. "I never said it didn't.
Like a saviour, Jared returned and placed all the shots in front of us, indicating for all of us to take a shot.
"Jensen, your first for pool." He stated, before taking Jensen's spot on the bench beside me.
Jared turned towards me and smirked, "So..."
I nearly choked on my drink as laughter erupted, "Wow, you and Jensen really are brothers eh? That's exactly how he started our conversation."
Jared laugh in response and nodded, "Yeah we know practically everything about eachother, which is why I wanted to ask... What did you do or say to catch Jensen's eye so quickly?"
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I looked towards Jensen, and than Jared. "What?"
He shrugged and moved closer, "He never invites fans to have drinks, even when they ask. So I'm curious how you got an in."
I could suddenly feel reality slam right back into me, he was right. Who was I? Why was I here. I know Jared probably didn't mean anything with his comments, but I could suddenly feel guilty and embarrassed that it might look like I forced my way in here and that's not what I wanted to do, at all.
I took my last shot and smiled at Jared, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I actually have to head back, big day at the convetion tomorrow, thank you for letting me join and it was so good to see you again Jensen, so good to meet you Jared."
Before the boys could say anything, I rushed as fast as I could out of the bar, my heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe.
Was Jared right? Did I force my way into his life somehow or was it genuine? I was an idiot for thinking he wanted me there, right? I didn't know what to think, but I knew I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and anxious to see him tomorrow.
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Jensen's POV
As soon as the bar door shut, I felt my heart pang in my chest. I don't understand, I thought we were getting somewhere, was that a stupid idea? I knew it was risky inviting a fan to have a drink with me, but she's different, what went wrong?
My gaze moved to Jared and I stepped closer, swatting his shoulder. "What did you say to her?"
He held his hands up in defense as a shocked expression appeared, "I didn't say anything, I was joking with her."
I grit my teeth and stared, "What did you say?"
He sighed and pushed the hair from his face, "I just asked her what she said or did to get an in with you considering you never ask fans to grab a drink with them."
I could feel the anger bubbling, "Your an idiot. You realize you made it seem like she conned her way into here, like I'm not the one who invited her and wanted her here."
Jared's expression faded as he realized what I was talking about, finally. "Oh. Shit, yeah I can see that now. I'm sorry dude I didn't think of it that way."
I sighed and sat beside him, finishing the shots that were laid out in front of us. Jared's hand came down on my shoulder as he brought another shot to his lips. "Seriously man, I'm sorry."
I shrugged, "It's okay. It might have been a bad idea to invite her anyways."
"Why did you." he whispered, "Just curious."
A deep sigh escaped my throat as I thought of an answer I didn't have, "I really don't know. I saw her at the convention and I just... I don't know, felt something? It's stupid, I don't even know her."
"It's not stupid." Jared started, "You can't help who you connect with, maybe she is special. I mean, you have never once invited somebody out for drinks with us unless it was a coworker or you've been dating them for a while. Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at her."
I shrugged and turned towards him, "But I don't know her."
He smiled lightly, "I don't think that matters, your heart wants what it wants, there's a reason why you felt so connected to her, you just need to figure out why."
"But, isn't this just complicated and stupid? Messing with a fan?"
Jared laughed loudly, "First of all, don't call it messing. Second, I met her for about two miniutes but I can say she did not treat you like you were a famous actor, or me for that matter, and she didn't act like a fan. That's not all she is."
I nodded, "Yeah, your right. I actually felt... human around her. Like I wasn't a celebrity or a piece of meat, she just treated me like normal. But I don't know how she feels, I may have come on too strong and blown it."
Jared shook his head, "You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."
Let the world decide. Pshh. I didn't really believe in fate, but after these two interactions with you, I was starting to think maybe Jared had a point, maybe it was fate.
Maybe you were made for me.
Maybe.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️
60 notes · View notes