so when we signed the lease there was like. a really bad gas leak in here
thatās not actually relevant to the story I just want you to know what type of person I am
anyway when we were moving in the woman in the apartment right next to us, tiny old lady, walks up to my mom and saysĀ āOh, itāll be so nice to have neighbors again! Especially after what happened last timeā¦.ā
and then she just. walked into her home and didnāt elaborate.Ā
she hasnāt spoken a word to us since.
itās been like 10 months
there are two secret doors in my closet. Like,Ā āGet Outā secret doors.Ā
Iām literally?? Allergic to this apartment? And we canāt figure out why???Ā
like itās not dusty and I asked the office if the last person who lived here had a cat, but they said no and also all the rugs were deep cleaned before we moved in so I just uhhhā¦.canāt breathe in my own home thatās great. I literally have to take multiple allergy meds every single day or else I just. stop breathing. itās fun.
my room is likeā¦.90% hotter than the rest of the apartment and we canāt figure out why. Like, even the buildingās repair guy came in here one time and was likeĀ āwtfā itās a REALLY noticeable temperature change even when I just step out into the hallway
sometimes the doors just likeā¦.unlock themselves??? like Iāve literally locked the deadbolt, walked away, and came back a few minutes later and itās unlockedĀ
the buildingās basement is a storage area but itās also literally straight up out of a murder movie Iām not even kidding like everyone refuses to go down there
and the thing isā¦because of where my bedroom is located, every time a door opens and closes in the building I hear it, so I always know when people are like in and out
but sometimes my mom will get home from work and be likeĀ āwhy is the basement door openā (the entrance door is right across from us like I can see it if I look out the peep hole) and Iāll go check and YEAH itās open and pitch black all you can see are the top of the stairsā¦but the thing is, nearly every time this happens, I hadnāt heard the door open, and I hadnāt heard anyone else leave their apartments. which is. literally impossible?? so uh thereās that
if you open up the fridge, the door stays open until you physically close it, even if you only opened it like a crack, it doesnāt budge. but sometimes I open it up and Iāll like, turn around for a second and while Iām not looking it just SLAMS shut.
uh as Iām typing this Bollywood music just started blasting from directly above me only likeā¦.the dude that lives there isnāt home so idk why thatās happening
every now and then I hear a fox (or some other animal that makes That Sound idk) screaming outside my window but there is literallyā¦no where around here for a forest creature to show up from like. weāre on a busy road where is this poor thing coming from???
thereās been a few times where Iām awake at like the really early hours of the morning and everything is dead quiet and all the sudden I hear a trainās whistle blowing, sounding close enough that if I looked out the window I could see it, except, weāre literally no where near a train station??? maybe the polar express is looking for someone around here idk
thereās two mirrors in my bathroom right. The big one over the sink, and then the one over the medicine cabinet that faces the shower, so when youāre at the sink you get double reflections of every thing, and it REALLY makes me uncomfortable because Iāve always been creeped out by mirrors right
so anyway a couple months ago I was in the shower, and I needed to get something that I forgot to bring in so I opened up the curtainā¦.and I justā¦.didnāt have a reflection in the mirror???Ā
like I saw an open curtain, a tile wall, running water. I was just. Not in the pictureā¦.donāt like that.
all the walls are white and thereās big windows everywhere so youād think itād be like. a Light apartment right. but itās not??? like we have lamps all over the place and itās still SO DARK, itās like the walls are eating the light
one time I had my friend Raychel over and I was explaining how weird it was to her, and then I was likeĀ āitās getting dark outside Iāll just show youā and I turned on the lights andā¦.the room got bright as fuck
every inch of the room bathed in light, completely disregarding every thing I had just told her about itā¦.I was literally So Angry lmao
mysterious pieces of metal just kinda show up in the garbage disposal??? like all the sudden itāll stop working so weāll call the repair guy and heāll just find these weird ass looking shards of metal that are Not Coming From Us and heās just likeĀ āhm. thatās weird.ā every time like??
the entrances to get into the complex are likeā¦.weirdly hidden lmao no one can ever get here on their first try
I ALWAYS feel like Iām being watched in my room like every time I have my back to the window itās like I can feel eyes burning into me and every time I check I donāt see anything so at first itās like, okay, Iām just being paranoid, but the thing is like. If Iām in my momās room I donāt have this problem?? If Iām in the living room which is 50% window, I donāt have this problem??? Like itās literally just this one space and I donāt understand why
the actual layout of the complex likeā¦.doesnāt make sense lmao like driving around from one entrance to the other? simple, clean cut, itās fine. walking around??? a fucking maze. you start to notice likeā¦buildings where the placement doesnāt make any sense??? and then youāre likeĀ āwaitā¦where exactly tf does my backyard come out toā and the answer Doesnāt Make Sense and then you realize you realize the route you take to the main office to drop off the rent check is somehow a little different every time you take it and all in all I might be living in a lowkey labyrinth or some shit idk man
one time it was late at night and I had parked all the way at the end of the parking lot, so furthest from the building but I was still standing Directly Straight In Front Of The Building okay and I start walking towards the door. And as Iām like midway there, I briefly looked behind me for a second, and when I turned back a second later I saw someone in all black with the hood pulled over their face speed walking away past the steps, and like I glanced away for another second, then it hit me what I saw so I turned back, and absolutely no one was there. Idk if I explained that well enough but essentially in the brief seconds it took me to do a double take, someone appeared and disappeared. There wasnāt enough time for them to have left my line of sight altogether and there wasnāt even really any place for them to go, and then I realized they were walking like, BEHIND the bushes and trees line, so like right in front of the windows, and the spot he was walking away fromā¦had to be my bedroom window??? Iām literally still so creeped out about it help
thatās all I can think of right now but like. idk. itās Weird
I highly appreciate the āhappy endingā tag on angst fics, dark fics, etc. Its existence increases the probability of me reading by a significant amount
but some people are like āwhy even read those fics if you already know how theyāre gonna end?ā
Well, itās kinda like going on a roller-coaster. I wanna experience the ride. The ups and the downs, the twists and turns. But I also wanna know that at the end, itāll come to a safe stop and Iāll be able to get off of it completely unharmed
I just love the moments when Zuko acts younger than his age due to his severely stunted social skills.Ā like when heās acting like a bratty preschooler while being gently bossed around by iroh in ba sing se or when heās trying to socialize with the gaang for the first time.
I mean, letās be real: Zuko has been starving for the attention of his peers for years, and once he gets his first dose of social approval and acceptance on his field trip with aang, he ends up going a bit off the rails chasing the high of Friendship.Ā like heās trying SO HARD to be Just A Normal Guy here, but he waaaaay overshoots his mark and ends up going all the way back around toĀ āsomethingās a litttttle off about this dudeā again.
I canāt get over how Zuko, when confronted with the mystifying quandary of how to make friends for the first time in his socially-deprived adolescent life, draws an absolute blank and, with no actual hands-on experience to draw from, simply defaults to āimitate Uncle.ā
Zukoās thoughtĀ process immediately after joining the gaang was clearly: āI really want these people to like me.Ā Uncle would say that I should just be myself and show them the real me.Ā but that will never work!!Ā Iām not likable!!!Ā ā¦but Uncle is.Ā everyone likes Uncle.Ā obvious solution: just be Uncle and everything will be Fine,ā and then proceeded to give his best imitation of iroh down to the tea and bad jokes.
Zuko after possibly the worldās worst punchline delivery: āThis is great! Iām going to get a good grade in Being Uncle, a thing that is normal to want and possible to achieve!āĀ
I have such a soft spot for the JL forming while the Batfam is alredy big and out there, like I mean Bruce being like 39 and Dick already 27 kind of vibes. Especially if the JL has no clue abt them, it's just so funny to me. Bc they know Batman has been doing it for a long time already and they've heard rumors of more heroes in Gotham, but theyve never been confirmed and Batman keeps them away and they respect him enough to listen. Then the JL enlist Nightwing, who is closer to the average age of the JL, who has already been protecting his city for nearing a decade. And he's professional competent and they don't think any of it when he and Batman work well together, because humans stick together they guess.
Only for Batman to randomly lick his thumb to get some food of Nightwing's face and Nightwing whining: "Daaaaad," all embarrassed, shocking the entire JL, which isn't at all help when Dick adds: "I'm too old for this, go clean Robin's face." And then they have another heartattack, because Batman sounds almost sad when he replies: "Soon you're all going to be too old for this." Which causes Nightwing to pat his back and say: "Don't worry, B. We're never going to be too old to get embarrassed by you." Which somehow cheers Batman (dark scary Batman) up. And that's how the JL learns that the two are related and B very much doesn't work alone.
"you hate capitalism because you're jealous of rich people" well I wouldn't mind having an in-ground pool but there's also other reasons to hate capitalism such as the fact that owning a chocolate company that doesn't use fucking child slavery earns you praise because it's so uncommon, or the fact that it by design results in repeat economic collapses when the average consumer can't afford to stimulate the economy, or the fact that our future (and current) existence on planet earth is full of detrimental environmental disasters because pursuing fossil fuels was more profitable in the short-term, or the fact that entire wars are started specifically to make money, or...yeah the list goes on
After the occupation, the princess was confined to the palace.
Once a month she'd be taken on a walk around the city, heavily guarded of course, to show the people that she still lived. It also served, of course, as a reminder of what they stood to lose if they made trouble. The princess did her best go wave and smile and give the people what encouragement she could.
The rest of the time, her life was spent in musty rooms and dusty towers. She filled most of her time scouring the castle for materials which she would sew into more and more elaborate outfits, which she would show off on the days when she was allowed outside.
Indeed, the public loved their princess and her dresses so much they'd often sketch or paint them along the route and pass the images on so that all could see the princess at least was well.
This pleased the occupiers for two reasons. First: it kept the princess out of trouble. Second: it gave them a reason to sneer and they did love a good sneer.
"What a vain creature she is!" They would remark.
"Doesn't even care we murdered her brothers so long as she gets enough satin to make her little dresses!" They squawked.
This was unfair, of course, for to call her creations "little dresses" was to call Queen Murderfun the Needlessly Genocidal "a tad piquey". Her dresses were gravity-defying wonders lace and pearl. They were thunderstorms captured in velvet and waterfalls summoned in silk. She was a wizard with silk.
Still, she bore their mockery with a tight smile and careful deference.
"Please, good sirs, my home, my people and my city now belong to you. Let me keep, at least, this one last joy."
And they sneered and they crowed most unpleasantly, but they let her keep her sewing room.
Of course, they would have known their mockery to be doubly unfair had they realised the true purpose of the princess's elaborate designs. For hidden in the intricate embroiderings across her gowns, jackets and fans, the princess had encoded secret (and very detailed) messages. When she would go on her monthly walk, the city's loyalists would line the route, sketching down the patterns to decode later.
Thus did the princess transmit all the occupiers' secrets (unearthed while supposedly 'searching the castle for old fabrics') to the city and thus did she build her resistance.
On the day the revolution finally came, she girded herself in armour of thick spider silk and whale bone. She cut a fine figure with a lacy handkerchief in her top pocket and a razor sharp knitting needle keeping her hair up.
As she waltzed through the castle to open the door for her army, the Usurper King tried to stop her and she simply unfolded her handkerchief and showed it to him.
Upon seeing the impossible arcane pattern emblazoned across it, he fell to the floor with blood streaming from his eyes.
When the adventurers reached the next town, they were horrified to find the inhabitants gathered by the river in order to dunk a witch.
The party drew their weapons, summoned their magicks (both divine and profane) and demanded the townspeople cease at once.
The people of the town who were not actively holding the witch underwater formed a quick circle to elect a spokesperson. That spokesperson stepped forward with palms outstretched and begged the visitors to stay their righteous wrath! The scene unfolding was not what they thought.
How exactly, inquired the party Paladin, did we manage to misinterpret the fact that you are currently dipping a witch in and out of a body of water? Because, oh gosh, if this is a humorous misunderstanding, then it is a *doozy*.
The spokesperson conceded that, yes, the people were currently in the act of dunking the witch in the river and then pulling her out again, before pushing her back in again. However! They were not doing this as any kind of test or punishment, but simply allowing the witchās magic to diffuse into the water. This would ensure bountiful fishing and also make it nicer for the local water spirits.
But, the Rogue interjected, does the witch not have any strong feelings about this?
I should say she does, replied the spokesperson, she thinks itās a marvellous time!
At this point the witch - in the act of being lifted out of the river - did indeed give out a screech of delight and proceed to scamper up the bank, before cannonballing back into the water with an almighty splash.
The party Wizard admitted this did look like fun and asked if she could have a go.
Well, remarked the Paladin as the group relaxed by the water to watch the frolicking, Iāve never seen a magic user used as a mystic tea bag before. Truly, these local traditions have a unique kind of magic to themā¦
Indeed, added the Rogue, you could say the place is quite literally *steeped* in it.
And this is how a strange little anarchist commune of a town founded the worldās first water park.
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