adhdgwen

[adhdgwen]

see i would agree with that 💯 if the tonal shifts were the switch between Plot A and Plot B, but the shifts I had issue with were During the kidnapping and torture. It was like vivziepop didn’t know how seriously they wanted us to take Striker’s very real threat and the danger Stolas was in, and this resulted in off colour jokes and weird almost chunky pacing.

It actually seriously threw me off and messed with my immersion a tad bc of just how… weird it was. It just wasn’t consistent.

So before I go into my stolitz meta breakdown, I’m going to have to admit something first: the pacing in this episode wasn’t… great. Maybe it’s just been so much time between episodes but did it feel tonally off to anyone else?

The script and dialogue just kept switching between “laugh at this haha” to “this is serious trauma going down” to “laugh at this haha” and normally, i’m all for shows that don’t take themselves too seriously, but it wasn’t consistent. It felt like the writers wanted a deep storyline but also wanted a comedic episode and tried putting the two together which… tbh made none of it work.

The animation is great as usual, but I just had to bring that up. I honestly hope this is just a one-off transitive experience and isn’t going to be what the rest of the season is like.

[adhdgwen]

So before I go into my stolitz meta breakdown, I’m going to have to admit something first: the pacing in this episode wasn’t… great. Maybe it’s just been so much time between episodes but did it feel tonally off to anyone else?

The script and dialogue just kept switching between “laugh at this haha” to “this is serious trauma going down” to “laugh at this haha” and normally, i’m all for shows that don’t take themselves too seriously, but it wasn’t consistent. It felt like the writers wanted a deep storyline but also wanted a comedic episode and tried putting the two together which… tbh made none of it work.

The animation is great as usual, but I just had to bring that up. I honestly hope this is just a one-off transitive experience and isn’t going to be what the rest of the season is like.

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical #vivziepop #vivziepop critical

[adhdgwen]

And awe is well and good…

…but it is poison to love.

Love has to be between equals.

#helluva boss #helluva boss stolas #stolitz #helluva boss blitzo #stolas #this malec quote just fits into their current dynamic #blitzo

[adhdgwen]

Back on my stolitz bullshit bc i just watched the recent episode and it’s killing me, meta incoming soon

[adhdgwen]

should have known i was on the spectrum when i related a bit too hard to entrapta from she ra

[adhdgwen]

canon: they died

fanfic: fUCK YOU

[adhdgwen]

once read this fic on ao3 that wasn't tagged rape, even though it was clearly rape? so i commented on it really nice just asking them to please tag rape (my exact comment was "hey i love your fic and your writing is awesome but could you please trigger tag rape? i wasn't prepared for it and it kinda took me by suprise. The characterization is really good though!" but the author got really pissed about it for some reason? They were like oh you should expect this kind of thing for this pairing and i should have known what i was getting into.

And okay, listen. I admit sometimes i tend to rush into fics bc of the synopsis and don't really read the tags -in which case i just politely exit cause that's MY fault- but the fic didn't even have dead dove tagged, didn't have implied/referenced non-con or non-con element or even freaking dubious consent. And this was a pretty explicit rape in a fic that was fluffy right up to that point so I was just confused as fuck????

Didn't really have the time for the back and forth so i just rolled my eyes and left the author to their whims. Ao3 is unique in the sense that it has a pretty comprehensive and extensive tagging system that is user-friendly so why wouldn't you make use of it? pissed me off.

#my rants #yes this is about ao3 #tw rape

[adhdgwen]

250 posts!

is this a shame notification? is this a sign i should get off tumblr?

#250 posts #tumblr milestone #I'm joking but like i had no idea i posted that much #would have put my shit at like 50 posts max

[adhdgwen]

probably like my 500th rant about Kacchan and Deku and their confused relationship

oh my yes. he’s had the greatest fanboy of our time admiring him since they were preschoolers. and Izuku has certainly never attempted to hide his total awe at every single thing Kacchan does.

although the essaying part of me does want to bring up that until very recently, Kacchan didn’t realize that it was admiration, though. he genuinely believed it to be pretty much the opposite of that. because he felt insecure and vulnerable around Deku, he reasoned that Deku must be trying to make him feel like that on purpose, and so he convinced himself that Deku was looking down on him, as we now understand as of their second fight. so in that sense it’s interesting, because you could actually argue that he doesn’t know what sincere admiration looks like. he’s been around it his whole life, and yet the whole time, all he ever saw were his own insecurities mirrored back at him. he wasn’t able to see past that to view Deku’s feelings for what they actually were. in which case the more skeptical way to view his encounter with Shindou would be to assume that Kacchan is actually just doing what he always does, and greeting any and all displays of amicability and warmth with hostility and suspicion.

but I think the truth most likely falls somewhere in between. Deku notwithstanding, he generally is very perceptive. the complexity of all of his mixed-up childhood feelings has always made that relationship more difficult for him to understand. but he’s fairly good at reading between the lines when it involves virtually anyone else. he picked up on Kurogiri’s weakness just from a turn of phrase. he accurately assessed his own status quo with the League of Villains, including when it changed from “they won’t try and hurt me” to “yeah now they absolutely will fuck my shit up.” he sussed out the truth about All Might and Deku’s relationship by correctly decoding a single sentence that was phrased in such a way as to have its true meaning understood only by Deku. he also correctly surmised that All for One and All Might had a longstanding archnemesis relationship, well before he actually learned who All for One was. and he subsequently picked up on All Might’s cues that this was a secret of vital importance, and so fell in line with keeping it even without being asked.

to sum up, he actually is a lot better at reading and understanding people than he lets on. but Deku is the exception to the rule. pardon me for going off on a whole new (and much longer) tangent, but I think he actually cares a lot about Deku’s opinion of him. he goes to great lengths to pretend that he doesn’t, attempting to reclassify him as “just a pebble in his shoe” and so forth, but I don’t know. there has to be a reason he reacted that badly to thinking that Deku saw him as weak. would he have responded the same way if it had been anyone else? 

Katsuki’s thoughts on Izuku from before the log bridge fall are still (still!) unknown to us. we know that Izuku thought the world of Katsuki, and still does for that matter. but we never did get Katsuki’s perspective on it. but – basically his whole personality shifts when he is only four years old. he goes from being happy and confident and smiling constantly to being defensive and confrontational and angry all the time and almost never smiling outside of a fight. that’s not a coincidence that this only happens after he stops being friends with Izuku. basically everything about this implies that he was actually a lot more hurt by that incident than he lets on. he puts up a lot of walls afterwards. he eventually tries to break off his entire friendship with Deku by any means necessary.

all of this leads me to think they were closer than previously inferred. and why wouldn’t they be? they spent a ton of time together during one of the most impressionable and trusting periods of their lives. they shared character-defining traits in common; they had the same dream and looked up to the same person. we tend to question whether it was really a friendship per se, because we know Katsuki was kind of a jackhole, and came up with the Deku nickname, and so forth. but he does the exact same fucking thing now with Kirishima and his other U.A. friends, and no one questions whether he actually cares about them. one of the crucial things we come to understand about Katsuki over the course of the series is that his attitude toward people is not a true reflection of how he actually feels about them. he trusts Kirishima in spite of disparaging him with every other breath and calling him by an insulting nickname. once we understand this, there’s no reason not to assume things wouldn’t have been the exact same way back with Deku when they were four. that his smugness and his putdowns concealed a very real trust and a close connection between them.

and that closeness, I think, is ironically the very thing that blinds him to Deku’s obvious admiration and esteem. that misunderstanding, when it happens, is devastating. the fear of being perceived as weak by anyone is bad enough, but with Deku in particular, it really fucks him up. to have a connection like that shattered so suddenly is damaging as fuck. just… I feel like I’m doing a really bad job of explaining this. but basically, if we go off the assumption that they were close, that means we’re dealing with feelings of hurt and betrayal that go beyond what we might have originally assumed. those are very powerful negative emotions for a four-year-old to suddenly be grappling with, and they’re precisely the kind of emotions that can completely overwhelm and suppress any kind of actual rational thought. and the thing is that there was no way for poor Izuku to have mended this, even if he understood what was actually going on, because the initial infraction never actually came from him at all, but from Katsuki’s own mind. his own fears being projected, because he was young and lacked the ability then to see things from Deku’s perspective.

anyways. when I said “tangent” I meant it lol. wow. but I think the original point of this was trying to explain why Katsuki, who normally is very sharp and aware, would have so much trouble deciphering the actions of the one person he’s spent more time around than any other. and to explain that Deku is an exception and that Katsuki’s lack of self-awareness about that relationship doesn’t reflect his overall insightfulness otherwise. he knew Shindou was trouble because Shindou was a smooth-talking little shit who just happened to want to get all buddy-buddy with the school at the top of everyone’s hitlist right before the fucking exam, and anyone who was taking those circumstances in consideration should have had the same warning bells ringing off in their own minds tbh. so yeah, hence “your words don’t match your eyes.” and also because he never lets his guard down that easily anyway. and that part of it does have everything to do with Deku.

anyways anon I’m sorry I took this very sweet BakuDeku ask and turned it into sort of a sad and meandering BakuDeku ask lol. I was thinking about some of this stuff the other day, and this was like a cheatcode that activated this whole mini-rant. I’m just constantly fascinated by the sheer depth and intensity of all of the feelings these two have associated with one another, and how that relationship is both their greatest strength and their greatest vulnerability all wrapped up in one. they both were so damaged by it, but now it’s the thing that’s spurring them on to become stronger than ever with each other’s help. gah.

[adhdgwen]

been unable to take a full breath since horikoshi released chapter 362 i want him back

#bakugo #mha 362 #mha spoilers #what do you mean i have two more weeks of this #brb going to run into traffic

[adhdgwen]

Blitzo sets the tone of their relationship while stolas sets the pace.

Childhood: Blitzo was paid to hang out with stolas, so it was a forced meeting brought about by stolas developing a mini crush on the imp clown. However, once they do meet, Stolas ends up doing any and everything Blitzo decides to do even if he might have wanted to do something else first.

25 years later: Blitzo is captured by Stolas's guards and brought to Stolas who then takes him to his room under the guise of "punishing him himself." Once again, a forced reconnection brought about by- okay I can't fully blame stolas because blitzo WAS stealing from him but the seduction was really brought about by Stolas teasing blitzo so he did kinda set the pace. However, the mood was still set by Blitzo who goes straight into kinky shit despite Stolas's first attempts to withdraw and hide.

The issue is after Blitzo set the mood, Stolas completely leaned into it, in a way that made Blitzo feel like that was all their relationship was.

However this does give way to a theory I have: Stolas is going to be the one ending their relationship. He began this so it does make sense, he should be the one to end it. I think he's going to give Blitzo the asmodean crystals and end their transactional fucking. By removing the one thing he has hanging over Blitzo's head, he's going to become unable to control the pacing of their relationship which will force Blitzo to be the one to reach out and stop hiding behind the safety of transactional sex when it comes to his feelings for Stolas. And I believe Stolas would be the one to ask for an actual relationship once Blitzo reaches out, therefore setting the tone of their future relationship.

Anyways just a thought.

#stolitz #raven rambles #did this make sense to anyone else #probably not

[adhdgwen]

stolitz power dynamic is just

stolas's power over blitzo is more... social. It comes from the difference in their respective places in society. Stolas is rich, powerful, royalty and Blitzo is just this poor shmuck with self esteem issues not helped by the fact his position as an imp in hell is the lowest of the low. Blitzo is well aware of this in a way that stolas is not, and it colours their entire relationship.

Blitzo's power over stolas is more... personal. Not only is Stolas completely willing to risk everything for blitzo at the drop of the hat, we see from the flashbacks that their relationship started and has always been from the viewpoint of blitzo using him and stolas too caught up in his feelings to notice. Neither of them are aware of this, though Blitzo unwilling uses this imbalance to exploit/manipulate stolas at multiple points.

I think the reason why people end up feeling more sympathy towards stolas in episode 1 (a shockingly amount of sympathy that seems to come out of nowhere) is that we've previously seen/been shown how blitzo sees their relationship. We got an entire season from his point of view. Season 2's first episode shifts it completely on it's head however by showing that Blitzo is -and has always been- an unreliable narrator. His perspective on things and situations is not always shared.

I think they did a really good job portraying it though. Like it was such a good plot twist that turned their entire dynamic on it's head in a way i never saw coming.

#stolitz #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss season 2 #helluva boss stolitz #stolas #blitzo

[adhdgwen]

Stolas playing pirates instead of talking about his nerdy books bc that's what blitzo wanted to do vs him leaning into the bdsm and all the sexual kinky shit bc that's what blitzo convinced him he was into and in both cases, those were lies blitzo told in order to steal from him i am unwell

#this show makes me unwell #I cannot #i physically cannot #god #they are so #helluva boss season 2 #helluva boss stolitz #helluva boss stolas #stolitz

[adhdgwen]

season 2 of only murders in the building is out too??? oh my god what else did i miss while i was depressed

#never having bad mental health again #i always miss all the good shit

[adhdgwen]

blitzo truly was stolas's first and only love I'm-

#little stolas met the clown who couldn't do balloons and decided that was it for him #he was gone from day one

[adhdgwen]

okay so this is all bullshit (as of s2 e1) feel free to demonize and hate stella all you want, i fully take this all back like😭😭😭

Let's talk about Stella!

Um... if you scroll even slightly through my blog, you're probably aware that I am of the sincere opinion that Stolas never loved his wife and that Blitzo is almost definitely his first love BUT what about Stella's feelings?

I think she did love Stolas once upon a time

In the LooLoo land picture, her eyes are soft and she's gazing at Stolas with clear affection and tenderness. (Stolas, by the way, appears to be leaning away from her but that's besides the point.)

In the flashback scene when she and Stolas hear Octavia crying, she's completely willing to share a bed with and near Stolas. Everyone always talks about her stealing the blankets, and I may be reaching, but it kinda feels like a metaphor for how she finds safety and comfort in their marriage and not noticing Stolas's cooling feelings and discomfort. Which doesn't necessarily say anything bad about her, just... y'know. A look-in to what their married life is like.

Directly before Blitzo crashes into her tea party and tactlessly reveals the news of her husband's infidelity, She... well, she's happy, content with her lot in life.

After though?

We see in real time, how rage and hatred twists her features and destroys the calm, smiling, content woman of the previous scenes.

Her marriage, her life, has failed, and she never saw it coming. Not only that, her husband doesn't even seem to care. She's completely disillusioned of the happy family life she thought they were living, and this disillusionment, this betrayal, is quite literally pushing her to the brink (she tries to kill her husband ffs).

I just think, that when watching Helluva Boss and While shipping Stolitz, we shouldn't really demonize Stella. She didn't sign up for this, her husband cheating on her isn't her fault, and she does and has always, deserved better.

#the way i gave her the full benefit of the doubt #i was like poor stella :( #POOR STOLAS #oh my god she was awful #fuck her fr

[adhdgwen]

THIS REVEAL FUCKING WHACKED ME OVER AND DID NOT GIVE ME TIME TO BREATH AS THE EPISODE KEPT GOING AND REVEALING MORE

#the way this just changed the entire dynamic of their relationship i am unwell