absinthemadness

[absinthemadness]

I am reminded of my southern roots when I look at the recipe cards and see phrases like:

Add ___ to taste

Cook until done

A list of spices with zero measurements whatsoever.

Scribbled notes in the margins that are passive aggressively underlined (I use ___ instead)

#bringing this back for the day as I break out the cookbook again #we listen to the spirits of our southern ancestors #they tell us when enough is enough

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Axel and Roxas have known each other since childhood, though they were far from close. Just knew of each other, really, as they lived in the same town and went to the same schools. But they never really hung out. Axel was a ‘troubled youth’, while Roxas was a golden child, living up to every one of his parents’ expectations. Their worlds didn’t mix, despite their proximity.

They even attend the same college the next town over (it’s a miracle Axel got in, and a ‘shame’ Roxas had to settle), but within the first semester, Roxas is in an accident. Lays in the hospital on life support for a good week, and remains there for months simply recovering.

When he returns to school, he’s… different. He’s louder. More brazen. He hangs out with the ‘bad’ kids like Axel. He takes risks, gets into trouble.

Some say he’s a lot more fun. Other say he’s gone off the deep end. All can agree he hit his head a little too hard in the accident.

“I don’t have brain damage,” Roxas tells Axel one night. They’re sharing a cigarette after a party. It’s still before dawn. Everyone else is asleep. It’s quiet. “I know everyone thinks I do. That I must have w couple screws loose with the way I’ve been acting. But I don’t.”

“Then why are you like this now? You always used to be the perfect little goody-two-shoes,” Axel says. “What made you change, if it wasn’t the accident?”

Roxas laughs. His laugh is so bright these days. So open and free, a little ugly with how he snorts, but… Axel likes it. “Oh, it was the accident! It’s just… it didn’t change my personality because I hit my head or anything.”

Axel watches him closely. Why is Roxas telling him this? Why tell Axel?

“It’s just…” he continues, blue eyes staring off into the endless night sky. “I remember laying there, dying. Bleeding out on the hot concrete and thinking… what have I accomplished here? What have I done with my life?”

“You were the golden child of our little town,” Axel supplies. “Got good grades, played sports… you were in like, twenty honors classes.”

“Yeah, all because my parents wanted me to do that,” Roxas says with a scoff. “I didn’t really like any of it! And I didn’t even realize until I lay there dying thinking man, I really hated everything about this!” He barks out a laugh, fingers running through blond locks, always so messy and windswept these days.

“I thought to myself then, if I live, I’m gonna start having fun. I’m gonna do all the things I was too scared to do, or too conditioned to avoid, for all those years. I’m gonna find out who I actually am, parents and teachers and everyone else be damned.”

“So, did you do it?” Axel asks, and Roxas turns to him with a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you find out who you are? What you want out of life? Have you done everything you’ve ever wanted?”

Roxas laughs again, and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m still figuring it all out. And there’s tons of shit I still have to do.”

“Like what?” Axel asks, smiling as he watches the other man. Some look at Roxas with disappointment or pity these days. But Axel? Axel thinks he glows. “What else do you want to accomplish? What’s on the bucket list?”

Roxas is quiet, then, blue eyes watching Axel the way Axel watches him. A little smile plays on his lips. “Well… I have yet to ever kiss a redhead.”

#akuroku #not my writing #this continues to live rent free in my brain #I just want you to know #spookie you're a goddess and I love you forever

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HELLO I AM NOT DEAD! :D

YAY!!! Neither am I?

I hope things have been treating you well~

Thank you for reminding me that tumblr exists <3

#Jacob my friend <3 #How I have missed you~

[absinthemadness]

49. Akuroku

Boss/Intern AU - It's a bit spicy at the end, so NSFW(ish?). Because it's me and I have no self-control. Also no, I don't really know how an office works, bear with me here.

Axel always thought things turn out different. He figured he'd always wind up at the top of the corporate ladder with the world at his feet, a wonderful office view, and perhaps he even joked about having a pretty little blond secretary on his knee.

But he couldn't say he was unhappy. Perhaps he didn't have an office of his own but he had a spacious desk, unlimited access to coffee and snacks, the best pencil sharpener money could buy (seriously, who needed something so fancy), and he'd been given permission to read when he wasn't busy.

He didn't have a pretty little blond secretary, though. In fact, he was the secretary. He'd applied to the job as a joke, wanting something new, expecting the position to go to the pretty brunette that sat beside him waiting for the interviews. Stereotypes and all that. But the CEO had taken one look up and down the length of his body and insisted Axel call him by his first name: Roxas.

And here he was, six months later in the best job he swore he'd ever had, especially when he sat down and opened the calendar to find not his chicken scratch of meetings and appointments for the man in the office behind his desk, but a tidy print that blocked out almost two hours that said 'vital meeting, secretary needed for notekeeping.' Looked like the intern would be answering the phones for a couple of hours again.

And maybe he didn't have a pretty little blond secretary on his knee, but he did have a hot little blond CEO that knew him rather intimately by his first name... at least judging from the way Roxas moaned it while Axel had him bent over his desk.

#absinthe writes #akuroku #a little spicy #nsfw ish #shameless self reblog

[absinthemadness]

I know, it’s true, only angels have wings

Spicy art based off a certain spicy au with @absinthemadness ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#akuroku #Spookie's art #Just me adding on as always #it's once again thinking about religious AU hours #nsfw #ish? idk #just gonna reblog this until it's done

[absinthemadness]

Gonna go ahead and post this here for ease of linkage. A prompt piece written for the akrk discord server.

The prompt was: "I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."

Warnings: Akrk as always. Hinted sexual content.

---

"Roxas? Did you… get a dog?" 

Twisting around, Roxas scanned the space behind him. Nothing. Hell, the door was still closed. "No?" He turned back to the computer, double-checking the angle of his camera. And he saw it a split second before one of the others on the call spoke up. 

"Well, there's this mess of red fur… just in the corner of your screen…" 

Roxas heaved a sigh, looking down at the source of the fur. Which, of course, wasn't fur at all. A pointed stare had his husband scooting a few inches back before resuming the steady prodding of Roxas's thigh that had gone on through three accounts and four virtual meetings.  

Blessedly, the meeting wrapped up shortly after, and Roxas spun in his seat, rolling his eyes when his husband moved between his legs, poking at a button over Roxas's navel. 

"You know, Ax. When you said you were feeling neglected…" Roxas pinched the bridge of his nose. "This isn't what I had in mind." 

Axel grinned one of his award-winning smiles, sending a flutter through Roxas's belly, as it always did. But instead of leaning down to kiss the man, Roxas pushed his face away. 

"I'm trying to work." 

"And I told you this morning that I wouldn't leave you alone until you paid attention to me." 

"Should have told them I had a needy cat…" Roxas muttered, slumping in his seat with a slap to the forehead. 

"You should!" Axel agreed. "Then you could at least play with my hair during your boring meetings." 

"No one asked you to sit in here!" 

"Once again. Not leaving you alone until I get attention. Besides, you're the one that bet I would get bored before lunchtime." 

Roxas took in a deep breath and held it, staring down at Axel as he pouted up with the biggest puppy dog eyes. 

With a loud exhale, Roxas rolled his eyes yet again. "I didn't think that meant you'd be sitting in here poking my thigh the whole time!" 

 "What would you rather have me do?" Axel flashed a wicked smirk, wiggling his eyebrows. "I mean, I could always—" 

"No. Absolutely not. I am not having my coworkers watch my face as I get off. I'm not paid enough for that." 

"What about over lunch?" 

Roxas smacked his palms over his face. "Will you leave me alone until then?" 

"Nope!" 

"I married a moron…" Roxas said, voice muffled from behind his hands. 

"I'm going to pretend that was a complement." 

"And I'm going to pretend you're not here," Roxas grumbled, pushing Axel back and turning back to his computer. "See if you can hold out for another hour, you attention hungry gremlin." 

To no surprise, Axel went right back to prodding at his thigh, smug grin plastered across his face. 

"At least… I don't know. Massage my feet or something," Roxas muttered, lightly kicking Axel's ass as he crawled up under the desk. 

However, he regretted his mouth the second Axel's fingers dug into the arch of his foot. The moan slipped out before he could hope to hold it in, and his face grew warm, thankful that Axel was the only one that heard. 

"Feels that good, huh?" Axel's voice drifted up, fingers slipping up under his dress pants, rubbing slow circles over his ankle… calf, then back to dig into the arch of his foot. 

"Yeah," he whispered, hands shooting to grip the edge of the desk as he slumped down in his seat. 

"Come on, Rox…" Axel's breath tickled over his thigh, through the thin fabric of his far too tight dress pants. "Your legs are already spread for me." 

"I thought you wanted attention," he weakly argued back, far too aware of warm breath over his groin.  

Axel's ever nimble fingers undid the button of his pants and he chuckled. "Maybe I've changed my mind. C'mon, Roxy. Let me give you the attention you deserve." 

And without any fight left in him, and no more meetings until the afternoon, Roxas happily let him.

#akuroku #snippets #absinthe writes #hinted sexual content #god it's been ages since I've posted

[absinthemadness]

I wish you would write a fic where...

Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)

#Just gonna post this while most Americans aren't awake

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the writer’s urge to ask your friends “do you wanna see a little somethin’ i’ve been working on?” when the little somethin’ you’ve been working on is 800 words and ends in the middle of a sentence

#it's me #I'm the second one and I'm not sorry about it

[absinthemadness]

:D !

! ᗡ:

#I'm sorry this sat in my ask box for ten years #I swear I'm still alive my friend

[absinthemadness]

Your writing is incredible, and I think I just read like six of your fics back to back. I just wanted to stop by and say that because wow. Dark. Delicious. Wonderful. <3

AAAAAAH! Thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed my stories! <3 <3

#absinthe answers #please excuse my enthusiasm #but I literally squealed when I saw this ask #I'm going to be smiling the rest of the night you have no idea #I'm trying to come up with more coherent words but head empty only keysmash of excitement #and screaming in the tags of course

[absinthemadness]

Short fic prompt; Akuroku #9 or #40

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#40 exes meeting again after not speaking for years au

CW: Physical abuse (mentioned, from a third party)

More under the cut for length

---

"You deserve better."

"There's no one better! And even if there was, I want you!" Roxas's voice rang out, even above the waves, out over the sand. "Why are you doing this to me, Axel!?"

---

Axel jerked awake with a sharp gasp, one sleepy hand coming up to wipe away the tears leaking out.

"Ax?" the figure next to him stirred, reaching out a hand to rub at his shoulder.

"Nightmare," he grumbled. He wasn't about to tell his boyfriend he'd been dreaming about his ex.

"Gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, go back to sleep," Axel soothed, reaching over to run a hand through his boyfriend's hair. "Night."

"Night, Ax." And the man rolled away, snuggling under the covers. His soft breathing resumed minutes later and Axel turned away. And he wondered

When had they stopped saying 'I love you?'

And why in the world was he dreaming about Roxas again. It had been… what? Six or seven years and one cross country move when he couldn't take the memories... the guilt anymore. But when he picked up his phone, knowing full well he wasn't getting any more sleep that night, there it was.

Roxas's face. His profile on some random social media thing. Older now, mid-twenties. And looking almost… world-weary, serious. In Axel's inbox sat an inconspicuous 'hey, how have you been?' that had popped up shortly after he'd accepted Roxas's friend request. And he'd closed it in fear, terrified of confronting his demons, laid out for all to see, in the light of day.

But now, in the creeping stillness of the night, with nothing but the faint echoes of the city, he started scrolling through Roxas's status updates. There were concerts, museums, the usual boring stuff. Sitting next to the button for pictures was one for life events and in curiosity he poked it, wondering if Roxas was one of those that used the feature. And to his surprise, he started to swipe through events.

Moved. Moved again, never leaving their small hometown. In a relationship.

Of course, Axel sighed, a person like Roxas wouldn't stay single forever.

Split up. In a relationship.

Engaged.

The breath rushed out of Axel. A wave of heat followed by a dousing of ice left him gasping for breath, surprised he didn't wake his boyfriend back up.

But there was more. He held his breath and flicked his thumb, expecting the next one to be married.

It was.

His heart gave an almost violent squeeze. What was the next one? Adopted a child? Bought a house in the suburbs? He had to know. He scrolled.

Divorced.

He blinked. Divorced? Within the year. What the hell had happened?

Pictures told much of the same story. Up until the divorce. And there was one of Roxas, the faintest hint of a smile, a bruise under one eye and holding a paper. The next was of him and a dark-haired girl who looked his age, not his… ex-husband. They were wearing party hats with a sign in the background proclaiming 'just divorced.' Two years ago.

Was… that why Roxas had gotten back in touch? He felt dirty for hoping. Surely Roxas had seen his 'in a relationship' status.

Besides, were two years enough to get over a divorce and an abusive relationship? Did Roxas not remember what Axel had accidentally done to him years ago?

He couldn't bring himself to reply to Roxas's message, but spent hours and hours, day after day, pouring over his profile, every picture, every ounce of Roxas's life he'd missed out on. Up until—

"I've… met someone, Axel." His boyfriend told him one evening. Axel noticed the bags by the door then. "And you're hung up on your hometown. On this Roxas person."

Axel waited for the pain and sadness. But there was an odd sense of relief. So they parted with hugs and muttered 'no hard feelings.'

He started packing the next day, putting most of his stuff in storage, turning in his notice to both the apartment and his job. Maybe he'd be back. Maybe he'd wind up staying.

He drove hundreds of miles knowing full well that Roxas could take one look at his face and tell him to go away. He could put his fist into Axel's nose, yell at him for leaving. But he had to try. He had to see Roxas. Had to talk to him.

Within a few days, he was driving onto familiar roads, and unsurprisingly the town hadn't changed much.

He looked everywhere for Roxas with no luck. He wasn't at his listed workplace. Axel wasn't sure where he lived now. So, exhausted he checked into the one hotel for an extended stay and passed out after checking in on social media.

---

The next day he went back out, running into old friend after old friend. At the grocery store, the diner, the main square. He met families, husbands, wives, kids. So many of them asked if he'd seen Roxas, but yet no one could tell him exactly where he was.

"He's been through a lot the past few years, I'm sure he'd be happy to see you again."

"He works up at the skate shop, but I think he's got today off."

"I swear I saw him at the skate park a couple of hours ago. You should go say hi."

"Axel! Oh man, Roxas is going to be so happy to see you!"

On and on. But it started to feel like he was following a phantom around town. He was always gone before Axel got there, leaving him to wonder if he was avoiding him or if it were just a case of bad timing.

But once the sun started to sink towards the horizon, he headed down to the beach… their beach and posted a picture of the sunset. And he stood there, hands in his pockets watching the fading sun, feeling eighteen again.

It was beautiful, shifting into deep reds and oranges. He hadn't seen anything like it in years, not since he left for the city.

"Nothing like sunsets on the beach, huh?"

He must have missed the crunch of footsteps drowned out by the ocean and nearly jumped out of his skin.

The voice was so achingly familiar, maybe a hint deeper. He turned, and there Roxas was, standing next to him. Just as short. Just as beautiful. Axel tugged his hands from his pockets, one halfway to Roxas's face before he let it fall to his side.

"Yeah, they really are." He turned back to the sunset but jumped again when a hand slid into his. "How'd you know where to find me?"

"Saw you were back in town, and then the sunset picture. Figured there'd be only one place to find you."

"Why come find me?"

"Because I've missed you," Roxas spoke like it was the simplest thing. The most obvious thing. "Besides, at least a dozen people mentioned you'd been around looking for me."

"I… saw what you've been through."

"Oh." His hand tightened around Axel's. "The marriage?"

"The divorce."

"He hit me," Roxas said with absolutely no emotion. "I ran when he broke a rib. Got a restraining order, then a divorce. He's in jail now."

"I wasn't going to ask," Axel mumbled.

"Everyone else does," Roxas whispered, barely audible over the waves. "Why come back? You used to talk..." He took a shaky breath, leaning into Axel's arm. "Used to talk about us getting out of here someday. I thought you hated it here."

"I thought I did too. Thought there were better things out there. But I only came to realize everything I cared about had been left behind." Axel's fingers tightened around Roxas's and he swallowed hard. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Already did." There wasn't even a second of hesitation before Roxas brought Axel's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to his skin, lips searing like fire.

Axel didn't ask why. Didn't ask how. He turned and cupped Roxas's jaw, tilting his head up in an old familiar gesture, to kiss him.

Roxas's arms came up to circle his neck, to hold them tight together and Axel couldn't help but picture Roxas, stretched up on his toes in the sand, just like old times.

They kissed until the sun disappeared, until the moon was high in the sky, before heading back into town, hand in hand to have a nice long talk.

#akuroku #cw physical abuse #cw abuse #thank you random like for reminding me this exists #I still should put this on ao3 in the interim between longfics #absinthe writes #man i miss doing short things like this

[absinthemadness]

So I’ve been binging Peaky Blinders and well….

#kingdom hearts #axel #not my art #Scout just... #Every time you draw Axel I swear he gets hotter #And as always I love the way you draw hair

[absinthemadness]

Thoughts on biblical angel form Roxas

#not my art #spookie's art #I'm having thoughts about angel Roxas again this evening #And Axel's lil ok face gets me every time #akuroku

[absinthemadness]

Axel holds Roxas while he sleeps, runs fingers through golden hair and over sun-kissed skin, whispering, “Has anyone ever told you, you deserve to be happy?”

#akuroku #soft akuroku #catch me over here crying in the club

[absinthemadness]

#Snow coming in swinging at the emotional kneecaps #akuroku

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i’m okay with fictional men becoming unhinged over the loves of their lives actually 

[absinthemadness]

may your 2022 be dark academic and homoerotic