"The only things I ever need help with are the same things that I'm afraid to ask for help with"
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"I'm not even productive in my sleep"
Lazy ass dreams
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"Accountability is for other people"
I'm looking at you, basically every politician out there
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"We're #1 at being dumb"
Best in the world! USA! USA! USA!
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"I'm subject to subjectivity"
It's a completely object fact
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"Accept that sometimes you just can't be bothered to do it"
Like post on a regular basis
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"Do you set yourself up for failure, or does failure set you up for yourself?"
The burning existential question
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"Why can't you be more like the person I envision you to be?"
This whole thinking you can have your own personality thing is getting tiresome
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"If life gives you lemons and a lemonade stand, then it probably wants you to get a job, you lazy bum"
I'm really just talking to myself here
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Glerp
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"Fudge is Not to be eaten lightly"
Remember these words as we head into the holiday season
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"Why are allowed to question my beliefs, but I'm not allowed to question yours?"
So I have to just accept that vaccines contain Bill Gates' DNA encoded microchips, but you can't accept that Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster are cousins by marriage?
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"We're in a never ending cycle of stupidity and dumbification"
It's a vicious cycle
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"My brain is an asshole"
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"If only my dreams lived upto real life"
'Dream big' they said, but they never said not to dream too big
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"The only thing we have to fear is fearmongering itself"
And chupacabras
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"When is a word not a word? When it comes out of my mouth"
What do you mean I mumble?
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