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22thoughtdumps22 · 3 years
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the only good thing about beetlejuice was that guys ass...alec baldwin..which, i didn’t know that was him at the time but DAYUMMMM HE HAD AN ASS
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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i’m a picky food eater
...altho it’s not as bad as it used to be since i try to be more open minded about it
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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Bellpepper rating:
-Orange
-Yellow
-Red
-Green
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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i’m feeling drained. just want to get home, eat an edible and watch movies
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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help, i’ve been triggered and j can’t get up
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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there are days when i wake up, i wish i was already asleep and done w the day.
i felt like that today, it was the first day back from “summer break” for me & i was hoping it woulda gone ok, i even played this 5-min meditation instrumental 3x and it did help me stay focused, altho i was still barely like, awake and functioning lol....like a robot lol. ...so i was hopeful today would be a good day
i made sure to sleep early enough (1230) but wasn’t until 1247 when i was finally able to sleep bc i had this fucking tension headache right before bed (ehich after everything i’m writing i’m getting another one lol, i need to clear my head out lol —how to clear out negative mental energy)
so i ran a hot bath to relax (barely) enough to be able to sleep comfortably enough....my skin was hot so i used the white woven blanket bc it’s light but heavy (which i should make it into a weighted blanket, w faux fur on the other side maybe...kinda feel —> Joanns) but then i got too cold bc of the ac blasting in, so i woke up but couldn’t bother getting a warmer blanket so that’s how i slept. slighlty uncomfortable.
waking up wasn’t too hard bc i was trying to motivate myself for it to be a good day, i was gonna even meditate for 3 min at work but realized maybe not w elaine there 😐
which, honestly i like that she comes in & asks what i need, but then she gets all rude like today damn, she snapped at me to close the fucking sink cabinets & that was so f annoying honestly & i think i’m gonna say something bc i’m not gonna stand for this white woman snapping at me. but ima do it nicely bc i still work for this woman (just be straight up but nice lol)
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so then i played that meditation song 3x bc it was helping, & was just trying to basically send out positive energy for the day but today didn’t go so good i feel, and it’s bc of my fucking allergies. i was v impatient today w the kids bc my allergies were fucking w me. so stressed out rn for my observation visit, i feel like i already fucked it up bc of what happened today w mili too, bc she was outside w maria talking. i didnt even know i was being..harsh? and all bc of my fucking allergies. i felt oht of it today but i was trying. idk what’s wrong w me to be doing that kind of shit, like i really want to be better for these kids but idk how , & it’s frustrating bc i’m coming from a finance background & i want this credential to prove that i can do it , that i’m serious about it & i can learn this & experience it but maybe i’m searching for it in the wrong place (at FCCDC) ?
espc when i feel like i’m not being supported by my boss at work? what a strained relationship. that she fucked up)
(i think i’m at a painful point in my growth & i haven’t wanted to move on so i’ve been holdjng on to anger, specifically on my trauma and my mom (it doesn’t feel right to call her my abuser. she was verbally abusive ->emotional abuse basically tho) & just thinking of my childhood and memories coming up kinda. like the fact that i can’t remember a lot before pre-k (sometimes idk the little girl i see in pictures)
being alone in the classroom is fucking w my psyche i think. i can’t do all that work by myself, it’s so overwhelming i feel like the only thing i’m able to do is put out fires, and i get so focused on that that i forget about teachable moments and everything i learned/ing about early childhood?
wtf does this mean?? damn am i counscious in the fucking deEP?? i got that jmposter syndrom.
i worry about not doing enough that i overwhelm myself & don’t even know where to start or communicate these things, or who to communicate them to bc it takes a lot for me to trust (thanks mom) . in ths case, w teaching these kids..how the fuck?
i was brought up strict u djmb bitch LOL AND CATHOLIC TOOOO OH FUCK AND IM A FUCKING GAYYYY
i have some serious allergies fuck they fuck w me too much
i just feel like something is wrong w me bc i was more impatient than ever today bc of my allergies
i’m afraid of being abusive, that i am being abusive, & i feel awful about it & remorseful bc these kids don’t deserve that. should i even be allowed near kids? idk.
it feels like i try to put oht positive energy when it comes to hoping for a good day at work & it all goes to shit. that’s the 3rd this has happened, is the universe trying to tell me something? is she trying to chew me up and spit me out? what is going on??
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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fuck. i’m feeling very stressed out atm and my fucking allergies are at MAX rn. i thought today was gonna be a good day, i even mentally prepared for it...& my allergies came in & all my patience went oht fucking the window.
my observation is this thursday and i’m scared i won’t pass. sometimes j feel like i’m too mean to my kids, and then mg abusive tendencies come out and i hate it but idk how else to deal.
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
Video
Aaron Earned An Iron Urn
@dooleyfunny | IG
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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lately i’ve been in a depressive funk for like about 2-3 weeks now....and the last 2 counseling sessions i felt like i didn’t want to do them..which i thjnk i need to be honest to mh counseor aboht it....
trying to do inner work is hard & i definitely feel like i’ve been stuck but idk how to further expand...
i learned that alexithymia is a thing and i think it’s a thing that i can relate to
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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FUCk i wish i had some weed on me rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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i wish garage sales were still a thing...like covid is going on & fb market is a thing...but j miss driving around (espc the nicer neighborhoods) with my brother & my dad, buying shit we didn’t really need, and then come home & have my mom yell at us for buying stuff we didn’t need (no bueno) ...
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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i’ve been thinking about the relationship that never was, in the office: Kelly and Andy
when i told my friend about this, she recdd i watch “Kelly & Andy- A love Story never told” .... now i really wish Andy and Kelly got together l, bc Kelly deserves better! ...even if Andy is a white man 🙄
is saw that clip a week ago?, & i was thinking about Kelly & Andy again today while i rewatched s6....tell mg why it was the valentines episode where Andy gives Kelly the wrong valetine card lmaoooo
sometimes, my mind works and i don’t understand it
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*i love Ryan and Dwight’s relationship: Dwight doesn’t put up w Ryab’s bullshit and Ryan is basically trying to defend himself
*i love Kevin’s and Pregnabt Pam’s meals together...espc Kevin bc he wants to plan “one last ultra-feast” before Pam starts labor
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As shitty and problematic as the office is, i really like the relationships the people have w each other, and the interactions are fhuunyyy lmaoo
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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sometimes i’ll think about the food i want to eat but then not have the appetite for it 🙄 bitch make it make sense
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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im not facing my traumas and it’s starting to show *we clownin*
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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im really happy w my new bong piece...i think her name will be Fauna lol. i love her bowl, cuztim maadee baybeee 🤟🏽🤟🏽👅 and now that it’s a darker color it looks v swampy so it makes me thjnk of shrek™️ which calms my heart ❤️ she’s so cute!!
*add pic later pls** dont forget bictb**
edit: shout out to the guy who fixed my bong, poor baby was broken when i got her :( & dirty lol
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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NHEZA IS SUCH A FUCKING COOL MOVIE
THE PAIN, THE LAUGHTER THE TEARS the fuckingART
😭😭😭
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22thoughtdumps22 · 4 years
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so. watcxhing Kangaroo Jack was a triip!
i waas disappointed that Jackie Legs wasn’t the main character lmao! that’s not how i remembered it 😂
i definitely was not expecting the waterfall scene tk happen but zomg the erotic level was thru the roof!!!! 🥵 i woulda been embarrased seeing tht w my parents,,,,but i didn’t remember that part at all so 👌🏽 i was~ NOT expecting charlie to confess to the girl....like, to be open abo it his feelings like that.. 😳 (men)
ALSO THE FIRST MIRAGE CHARLIE SEES IS DDDDUUUUUMB HILARIOUSS 😂😂😂
— there were def a couple scenes that were too funny to handle 😂😂😂 i loved the movie for it but also charlie was Cringe™️ and i thank Louis for putting charlie in his place & making white jokes, thank u sir!
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